Men And The Church

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Chris said…

“Anyway, on a slightly more serious note, I’ve been having a discussion lately with a few people and the question keeps coming up – why do women tend to be more into ‘church’ than men do? Does that make men less spiritual, somehow?”

No.

That’s the short answer. πŸ™‚

Again, I think we’re looking at “church” the wrong way. I am the last person to be commenting on gender classifications (in many ways, I match the female gender profile: I cook, I like to talk, I don’t like things like cars and power tools and other things men are “supposed” to like…) That said, I do believe that sitting in a talking meeting is not where most men would like to be, nor is that what the church is. Nothing to do with it, actually.

Church is not a time, a place, a building, an event, a gathering or any sort of thing we can measure. The church is the body of Christ. It is the world-wide body of believers, not when they assemble… they just ARE the church. It is the whole of the people whom God has brought to himself. You can not put any quantitative measures on the church. When you do, you’re missing something.

So, when we call church what happens in any given be-steepled buidling (THAT was a great word!!!!) then people who don’t like those sorts of gatherings will be said to “not like church” and as most of those seem to be of the masculine gender, thus, “Men don’t like church.” And, then people come to the conclusion you mentioned. That men are less spirtual.

Well, that’s just not true. We are equally spiritual, neither of us has a leg up on the other. What happens is people end up telling other people how to be “spiritual”, like attending meetings and programs and gatherings, and then when those new standards are not met, they can label them as outside of those bounds.

So, back to the original question:

“Why do women tend to be more into ‘church’ than men do? Does that make men less spiritual, somehow?”

No.

6 Comments

  1. I remember the quote from The Open Church where the author mentions the feminization of the church. Since we’ve made Christianity into a lecture on Sunday Mornings when men by nature, are doers we’ve created a whole culture of weak men…HA–that should tick some politically correct people off.

    On the other hand, I will only comment from 15 years of evangelizing/church planting that women tend to be more receptive than men. We can look at how Christianity is portrayed, how it is lived and how it is being presented for causes, but we also must consider the possibility that women are more receptive to the idea of a higher being, they are more willing to humble themselves than men, and their very strength lies in their ability to accept spiritual truth in their lives in a way that men struggle with.

    I, personally cannot deny (nor can the statistics) that there is indeed a difference–there is a greater number of women in the church with a greater overall committment serving with greater humility. The “why” I’ll leave to speculation. πŸ™‚

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  2. I think the other Chris nailed the question on the head. I realize that “church” is the body of believers around the globe, the community. However, I also realize that there are lots more women in it than men. This is my question, for which I have little to no thoughts, and it’s driving me up a wall. Thanks for taking a crack at it though πŸ™‚

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  3. I told you it was silly for me to comment on this, but since I have…

    The main issue I have with gender characterizations, generalizations is that they are mostly used as excuses. Men are “doers” and thus can not sit and listen. So women (wives) are to endure the stupid man who is incapable of sitting still and listening to her. Women are emotional and moody and thus can are irrational and not responsible for their emotional outbursts or even vindictive and venemous verbal barbs.

    The list goes on and on. To say that men are less spiritual because they aren’t as good at being humble is silly. I know many humble men and I know many arrogant and contenteous women. And vice versa. Our gender does not excuse poor choices nor does it predispose us toward any certain actions.

    Don’t go there. I know there are difference. I am glad Jen is different than me. The funny part is, in many ways, Jen fits the male stereotype and I fit the female stereotype. Take that, graph makers! A friend of mine used to call me “The Curve Wrecker”. I didn’t fit into anyone’s boxes. Still don’t.

    So, my problem is not that there are differences, but that we use thoses differences as excuses.

    And to say that “being spiritual” is harder for men because they are men is just silly. That goes back to calling our gatherings “church” and since ther are not tailored to your typical man, of course he will not want to be part of that. That does not mean he does not understand the Presence and Call of his Creator. Does it? He will relate differently to it than say his wife would, but he will also relate differently to God than his brother, or his dad, or his friend. Gender is not as important there as perhaps our uniqueness given to us by God.

    Argh. I can’t believe you got me mired in this!! πŸ™‚

    Anyway. I think the numbers just mean that men don’t like what we call church. Not that they don’t want a relationship with God or are somehow less capable of it.

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  4. One more comment… to something Chris #2 said:

    but we also must consider the possibility that women are more receptive to the idea of a higher being, they are more willing to humble themselves than men, and their very strength lies in their ability to accept spiritual truth in their lives in a way that men struggle with.

    I realize you were not saying men are incapable, just that they struggle with accepting spiritual truth, but this is what I was trying to say in my last comment. I don’t think men struggle with spiritual truth more than women. I think perhaps men struggle with accepting the church in its current form – as that is presented as at least a part, if not the whole of our relationship with God – and so they are less willing to accept that.

    But when presented with the reality of a powerful God who gave everything for us, and doesn’t need us to be something we aren’t for him… that following him while certainly difficult will fulfill the questions of meaning and purpose that men as much as women deal with from early in life.

    The stats only say the men don’t like what we call Christianity – and thus spirituality.

    Men seemed to dig what Jesus was saying. All his friends were dudes. Right?

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  5. You are debating a nonexisting opponent Greg. I have only stated the fact that there are more women than men. In no part did I say that men are “less spiritual” than women. Nor did I say that being spiritual is “harder for men” so go ahead and keep knocking down those straw men πŸ™‚

    At most I used the words “open to the possiblity” when looking for a cause, and this after stating that we must look at how Christianity is portrayed, lived and presented. There can and most likely are varying reasons for the higher ratio.

    Generalizations or stereotypes are just that–observations of general characteristics. Though some may use them as excuses, if they are true, they are nontheless “truth”. Could the makeup of men in general effect the ease or difficulty with which they accept spiritual truth? That is a possibility–especially considering how church is being taught and lived out in today’s society.

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