I admit it… I am thirty years old, and I still play video games. I was today. I do nearly every day. I suppose some would say it’s an addiction. Perhaps they are right. But addicted or not, they are just fun for me! I love the challenge, I love something about the electronic nature of such a venture (why DO I love computers so??) I just love video games!

And today I noticed something about why we (not just me!) love them.

For a moment, when we enter the virtual world of that game, we are in control. At least, for the most part. We have the stick, we tell it what to do, and it does it. That is not the way life works. Almost the complete opposite. No one handed me the control pad! I don’t see the pause button, the fire button or the joystick! I don’t even see the console or the TV for that matter! So, when we turn on the power on the little boxes, we in some fashion gain a bit of control of our world.

That is hard to come by, and so a little exhilarating, and a good escape from the uncontrol of our regular world.

It all become less fun when you have even less control in the virtual world than in the real one. 🙂 Perhaps that is why some folks dislike video games. They don’t make sense, they can’t control it very well… so why would you want ANOTHER thing you can’t control??!?!

I am not saying this is universally true, but saw it as an interesting perspective on why we all like video games so much. I love being the Bills and stomping ALL OVER the rest of the league in Tecmo Superbowl. For a brief shining moment, my Bills are champions!!!

(I told you it’s not real!!)

I think we will always be on some sort of quest to regain control in our lives. We plan, we strive, we create strategeries (what an awesome word…) but it’s really all for naught. Video games may give the illusion of control, but in the end, we lose those as well. There is only One who has ultimate control, and in his supreme wisdom, he actually handed a bunch of it away. To you and me. We have the choice to give him the control pad for our life. That is a hard call to make, seems like we might even be losing control that way. Why would we want to give up what little control we actually do have?

Because my friend, he is the Real Game Master. He wrote the book on this game. He is the One I want at the helm.

(Plus, He knows all the game cheats!)

I spoke with a few friends today about our current situation in life. I have mentioned it a few times to close friends, and even some not-so-close friends. And on the rare occasion, have hinted at some things here on the blog page. The reason for such nebulous terminology and cryptic phrases? I don’t have a clue what I’m talking about!!! 🙂

We do know that we need a break from our music. We are in the process of reducing the schedule a bit – not completely, and not forever at this point. Just the thought of that is a welcome break. But the schedule remains full with a multitude of web-clients almost banging down my door (I guess I do that stuff pretty well, as people are eager for my services there) and there are several other fairly sizeable tasks that require my attention. There is no lack of busyness.

But in all of this, there is no answer. I want an answer. A solution. I want to know what changes lie in store. God knows, doesn’t he? Why won’t he show me??? And my friends related their stories of waiting on Him. A common phrase in the Bible that you sometimes wish would just remain there, on those pages. But it does not. He does not. He allows us to go through times when we see less, and trust more. Or, at least we need to.

At the moment, our future – at least our immediate future – seems cloudy. I don’t like it one bit. But today, God has reminded me through some friends, and various other means of getting through to me that He is leading this show…. not me. That I sure can have peace – as long as I am willing to follow Him.

I will come out on the other side mostly unscathed. But for now… we wait… and pretend the outcome is uncertain and complain and flail against the air, trying to regain some semblance of control… though anything I thought I had was merely an illusion.

I feel like I know the answers. Now I must begin to put them into practice.

And wait.

Found a book for a mere 99 cents at one of our favorite stops on the east coast. We make a point to stop at this discount book warehouse every time we pass it on I-95 just outside of Savannah, GA. This past occasion was no exception.

The title caught my eye, Glimpses Of God: Stories That Point The Way. Stories are powerful. They captivate us and draw us in, and share truth that pure fact-spouting could never do alone. And so far, the book has done just that. Stories… quick glimpses… of God’s working in this man (the author’s) life.

I read a quote that I wanted to share with you from chapter two I believe. It was not the main point of the chapter, but rang true with me… and thought it worth repeating here. So far, I do recommend the purchase of this book, especially if you can get it at Book Warehouse in Savannah, GA! 🙂

Henlee H. Barnette

That quote was actually from a book written in 1963… but still applies, I believe, in 2005. Unfortunately I have seen that all too often. We rely far more on our efforts, we speak of our responsibility rather than looking for and joining the work that God is already doing around us.

A good quote. I look forward to reading more.

Two things I have spent a bit of time thinking on today were death and money. (Not really taxes… that just makes for a better title!) 🙂

Money was the topic of today’s sermon, and is an ever-present threat in our lives. It threatens us in the form of bills and deadlines that loom larger than income and bank accounts. It threatens us by the desire for more money, no matter how much it seems God gives us. We could always use more. And of course, it is a strain in several ways on our home as it makes both Jen & me tense if different ways, and at different times (usually). 🙂

What I can’t seem to figure out is why I return so often to this place? Why would I possibly let my doubt creep back in? Where have I been? Have I not seen Him take care of us over, and over, and OVER again? He has. He will. That won’t change… only my peace and joy as I follow him through it. I can go kicking and screaming, with one Excedrin-sized headache… OR, I can trust that Father knows best (that sounds like a good TV show name….) and let him lead. Really. Not in word only, but in my actions as well.

So, no matter how much I think I have this trust thing down, Father reveals to me again my stubbornness to really trust him, to allow his peace to infiltrate my heart, and live deep in my soul, emanating to my family around me.

Speaking of family, I have one of the best ones. THE best for me. I have three amazing kids, and I get to spend every day of my life with my best friend – the person I most want to share my life with. I am one lucky dude! But the other day I was playing a blast-from-the-past video game – Tecmo Superbowl for the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) from 1991!! – and my opponent was the late Derrick Thomas of the KC Chiefs. He was a GREAT player! And no less great in the video game.

I thought about how crazy it is that he died. He was totally healthy… but was killed in a car accident. And I thought, too, of how often I am in a car. How easily I suppose I could be the one who was dead. How fragile our hold on this life really is. In one instant we are gone. Whether a crash, or a heart attack, or a stroke, or any number of things. I just don’t think of such things usually. My next breath is taken quite for granted. But I could easily be gone in the next five minutes.

There is no guarantee of tomorrow. Pretty much the only guaranteed things are death, and taxes. Money will always be an issue. It is perhaps the absolute greatest tool God uses to shape us… to help us to trust his provision more than our own. Death is unavoidable. We will all die. Even me. Sometimes I forget that. I don’t know the day, but God does. And on that day, I get to be with him in paradise. Incredible.

This post is not meant to be gloom and doom. Just some of the pondering from a slightly-more-than-normal introspective chap. Live to the full, like Jesus wants…. there’s no guarantee of tomorrow. Or even your next hours. So enjoy it…. with him.

And on top of that, don’t forget to pay your taxes.

Do you have days like mine? Today from the very first thought I have just been super introspective. Every once in a while this will happen to me. I am not sure if it’s God finally getting through to me, finally reaching my head and my heart, or perhaps just a severe case of exhaustion.

Whatever it is, the day has been rather rough, and all at once reassuring. I have been reminded several times today of God’s goodness. A story of his provision and his incredible attention to detail during a testimony this morning elicited quite the emotional response – a sudden, involuntary lump blocked my throat. I was overwhelmed by his love for us. And more, and more… even just a story on the radio reminded me that when life is nuts, we just need him.

Not a knowledge of him. Not a method of discovering deeper truths about him. Not a routine that has worked before. Not anything but him.

That might sound weird, but I can’t even tell you how much that has come up in the past 24 hours. I go and I do and I learn and I teach and I share and I talk and I write and I blog and I listen and I share some more… but perhaps I have been too long away from the subject of all my efforts. Perhaps he is calling me back.

Not that I have rejected him. I have not. I don’t believe I ever could. How could I after all he has done for me, and all I have seen? But I do get so caught up in all that I do for him, that I neglect to just be with him. To really talk with him. To even listen to him.

Life is tumultuous for me at the moment. Overbusy, Overtired, Overwhelmed. And in the middle of all of that, we might be changing some major pieces of our life as we know it. And I have not known the peace that I have had in the past. And now I think I know why.

Peace comes from trust. Trust comes from relationship. Relationship comes with time. That has sorely been lacking.

Well, in all of my introspection today, I have certainly come up with some things to ponder in my life, and I shall share a few in the next few minutes here on the blog. Perhaps they will trigger some introspection in you? Perhaps God has brought you to this page as part of his working in you… to draw you into him.

Perhaps. Read on. 🙂

A fun story from today…

I was upstairs in my office, and on the phone, when a small figure came peeking around the corner. A bright smile and an excited wave greeted me from the face of our youngest boy, Alex. I returned the smile, and said quickly, “Hi Alex!”, while trying to continue listening to the person on the other end of the phone.

Almost immediately, Alex turned to speak to an unseen person behind him, and he loudly whispered, “He’s happy!” At which point Ian, our oldest son, emerged from behind the corner wearing a sheepish grin.

HA HA!!! I loved it. Made me laugh. Ian is smart. He sent the younger, unsuspecting sibling to test the waters first. Very clever.

Just wanted to share. 🙂

Last night I was struck again at just how little I understand the concept of “sacred”. As far as I can tell, I hold nothing as sacred. No persons, places or things (That’s a noun! Wasn’t that from School House Rock?) Yes, you are correct, not even God.

Now before you stone me, let me clarify.

I know that God is the Supreme Being. He was, and is and is to come. He has no beginning or end, he is omni-everything. He is far beyond my comprehension in every way. And I certainly understand the premise of the phrase “fear of the Lord”. He is most certainly Holy, and different, and THE One True God.

That said, my disconnect has come from knowing how this One who is so far beyond me has given up everything (Phil 2) to come to my rescue (Luke 19:10) but beyond that… he wants to be MY friend. (Rom 5) Not my supreme master. My friend.

God is not impressed by rituals. Or rites. Or postures. Or any of that stuff. The writer of Hebrews talks about the futility of sacrifices and other such rituals. They are powerless. Meaningless. But on the other hand, Paul also cautions that if one man considers a certain day holy, let him. It’s not for you to determine what one man considers sacred or not.

Ouch.

I am often guilty of at least wanting to impose my superior conclusions on life on all of those around me. I have thought long and hard, analyzed and come up with the perfect conclusion to all of my ponderings. For me. And only me. God helping me, I will try and remember that, and hopefully YOU will too as you read all of my rambling thoughts on this page. This blog page is the written expression of the journey Father is taking ME on. Perhaps knowing me, and my journey is part of yours… but as a friend of mine likes to say, if it “sticks in your craw”… test to see whether it is from our Father, or not. If it is, he will help you adapt. If it’s not, just shrug your shoulders and say, “That boy’s weird!” And move on. 🙂

End of footnote.

I was reminded last night of my disdain for any thing remotely “sacred” when I determined not to pray before going out on stage to lead in worship. Really. It got to be the customary 3-5 minutes before we were to begin, and I started toward the back to gather to ask God’s blessing on what we do, and to ask Him to make it more than we could on our own. All good things, but I was struck by the timing of it – and how we always do it that way.

I do. I am not accusing anyone else. It’s almost like a magic incantation. I want God’s power to course through the event we have planned for Him, and if I ask Him just before that, it will help me remember why I am doing it, and it will perhaps make the effects of the prayer more powerful. I don’t really believe that, but it might appear that way to the casual observer.

That is why I would absolutely not pray before meals for a long time. When I first went to Bible college that was my practice, as it is for most Christians. But as I saw many of my classmates bring their lunch trays to the cafeteria tables and in one motion aim their rear end for the seat, bow their head and close their eyes as their body continued to the seated position and come back up again as though their shock absorbers might need some adjusting. From my vantage point, all I could see was the empty, ritualistic rite of doing the proper thing at the proper time. Not a loving, on-going, real relationship with God.

I admit now that perhaps that was a bit judgmental of me, but the results were not necessarily bad. I was forced to see the rituals that I was observing. The places were I was doing without thinking in my relationship with God. So, I chose to pray any and all times, EXCEPT before meals. For a time. We do pray before we eat pretty often now. Sometimes we’ll pray as we are eating. I don’t even like to call it “praying” because that sounds too religious… to sacred. It’s definitely a good time for us to talk with God as a family. But, as part of my non-sacred self… it is definitely no longer a habit.

All of these things are not bad by themselves. What definitely frustrates me is when we slip into religion with God. He does not want our sacred worship. (Please see the blog I Call You Friends from January 24th, 2005.) Jesus was the embodiment of God and what God did when he was with us, was hang out. He spent quality time with people. Twelve close friends, and then everyone else who crossed his path. He was not interested in rites and rituals, though he was baptized “to fulfill all righteousness”… he was mostly accused of the opposite by those in charge of the sacred of that day.

So, I admit it. I am religiously challenged. But, I think that’s ok. And if you like the practices that some might call “religious” or “sacred”, and if they draw you closer to our Father… great! I don’t think I can really relate, but that’s ok! That’s your journey!

I guess my point is, don’t let the ritual take the place, or get in the way of your relationship with God. He split the curtain, there is no more separation. (Matt 27:51, Mark 15:38, Luke 23:45) There are no magical steps to earning favor with God, or unleashing his power. He does that. And it says in Galatians 4:7 that “everything he has belongs to you”. Just because you are his child.

Life with God is definitely a relationship, not a religion. Not a set of practices, incantations, recitations, etc. There are no holy places, times, days, etc. (See note above if you believe there are.) The most high God has invited us to be HIS friends.

I accept!

I received an e-mail today from my publisher saying they are shipping the author copies of A Journey Shared to me! This is the final approval step before they make the book available for purchase through their website, and then the myriad of other online book sellers. That means in a few days… I will be holding a copy of my book!

I’m fairly excited.

🙂

iUniverse.com has a bookstore of all the books they publish, and A Journey Shared will be offered there first (after I receive my copies, I suppose). It will be under the broad category of “Body, Mind & Spirit” I preferred that to “Self-Help” or worse yet, “Religious”. 🙂 After it is listed at their store they will proceed to submit it to Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble.com (bn.com), Booksamillion.com, Borders.com, and Walmart.com! And after that, I will talk with various “brick & mortar” bookstores about ordering and carrying copies of this book.

Fun!

So… it’s coming soon. As advertised, when I receive the copies, I will sell those first copies through this website. So stay tuned, and perhaps you can be one of the first to receive a copy of A Journey Shared!

Just had to get this in here today. 🙂 I love our daughter. She is a true gift from God to us. She is beautiful, and happy, and growing more in personality every day!

Today is her birthday. We celebrated with some of her favorite things, and even a quick visit from Grammy and Grandpa Tom! Wow! (from Ohio!!) Skyline for lunch, a pink birthday cake, Nima’s Pizza for dinner, a trip to the Library, presents… this day had it all!

We love you Kirstie Rae!! 🙂

I have had a couple comments/questions recently that go something like this…

“Book? What book?!”

🙂

Well, I mentioned it here sometime in January. But since I have received the cover already, and that contains a brief description of the book on the back, thought I would just share that with you!

The book, A Journey Shared, may be ready within 2 weeks, but don’t expect to see it at Amazon.com or any other bookstores till sometime in April. I will keep you updated here.

Click the cover below to view a PDF of the book cover!