The weight of my financial burdens is threatening to crush me once again. All of my simple trust that “things will work out” and that my Father loves me have become dim and blurred by the passing of due dates and the nearly empty bank account (and the shortage of forseen income). And all of this while we face the loss of a significant amount of regular income at the end of this month.

It’s been a little rough around here in that arena.

But today it’s kinda like God opened my eyes again. I was able to see again how much work I currently have in the world of web and graphic design and how I can barely keep up. And then I was reminded that I did not procure any of said work. It came to me. I did nothing to initiate it.

I know that he takes care of us. I know that he loves me, and knows what I need. I know that I do not need to bear the burden. But… I still do. A lot. I am just insane. (Once heard that term defined as doing the same thing and expecting different results… so, I guess I qualify. Break out the straight jackets…)

Thank you God for knowing what I need, and for taking care of it, even when I try and take that role from you. Please help me to have peace as I learn to trust you more. Thank you for providing in your perfect timing, and please forgive me for complaining and thinking that I have a better plan. I know that I do not.

But you do. Thanks for the reminder today.

While discussing my recent post on Focus with my wife, we found ourselves discussing the importance of worship. Expressing your heart through music to God. (That is our most common understanding of “worship” these days, I’d say.)

We mentioned how meaningful that has been for us at times, and just fun, too! God made music to help us express ourselves more than mere words are able to do. We spoke of how worship can even be just a couple people using just their voices to express their hearts to God.

But from there, we thought, perhaps add a guitar for flavor. But then, you really need to have someone who can really play. That enhances the whole experience when it’s actually GOOD music. 🙂 So, then once you have a good guitar player, or some good vocalists, the next step is always a few more instruments… eventually forming a BAND! And with a band, you definitely need to rehearse! So, someone has to lead the band, and rehearse the songs, arranging a layout of each song of course. And then, once you have arranged this musical portion, you probably need to get someone to oversee the whole flow of the time that we are together, perhaps even plan some other pieces of the worship time – art, drama, even video for the tech savvy…

Do you see what happened? From the simplistic offering of heart-felt worship – a heart expressed to God – to an organized mega church in three simple steps! It’s not always as quick as the steps above, but it’s what I have now deemed the Babel Syndrome.

Do you remember the story? The people of the world had one common language. They were united in their effort to achieve all they could be. There was arrogance and pride in their hearts. They were not living to know their Creator, they were trying to reach him on their own. They wanted to build a tower to the heavens. God knew this was not good for them, and so confused them by giving them all different languages. Their organization was thwarted.

It is our way. We take everything that is good, and we want to improve. We want to make it the best it can be, and that takes organization. Administration. Planning. Building. Structure.

The bane of humanity is our desire to be in control. To manipulate our surroundings to produce the finest we can produce. By itself that is not bad. Striving for excellence is to be commended. But what happens is our focus drifts off of the offering and onto our achievements. We take the joy of spontaneous expressions to our Creator and package them into something that ends up receiving (in effect) our worship. Our time, our effort, our focus, our energy.

It becomes our tower of Babel. Our greatest accomplishment. Our driving force. Just a thought, but seems to fit a lot of the stuff we do. We are always striving for bigger and better. What improves on something? To add more, of course! If we had two guitarists last week, let’s add drums this week. If we had drums last week, let’s add a stand-up bass and cello. Always improving by pulling out all the stops and making the tower bigger.

Obviously, this does not stop with worship. We know we need to “fellowship” so we create small groups. We create a structure by which we can ensure maximum participation in such groups, so as to produce maximum fellowship. Even our church buildings are a result of this syndrome. We justify exorbitant spending on such edifices by extolling them as tools to reach more people, or just to handle all of the families that God has already blessed us with.

We are always trying to build bigger and better, instead of relishing the simple life of knowing and living with the Creator. Sharing the joys and pains of life with those he has surrounded us with, and not trying to herd them in any way into any pattern of living we might think “best” for them.

It is our way. From Babel to now.

Christian Denomination Selector

This is too funny. Had to put it up here. 🙂

Thanks Chris!

(it said I was Seventh Day Adventist, by the way… followed by Assemblies of God and then Church of Christ. Go figure.) 🙂

I touched on the idea of a misplaced focus a couple of posts ago… I was then speaking of the emphasis we place on reaching the masses. The attempt to reach as many as possible as efficiently as possible, and thus the large group settings.

Well, another side of the focus coin became apparent to me today. Again, it’s not all that new, but came freshly to my mind again today.

We are off this weekend – not singing anywhere – and even have a break from the kids, while they are with Grandma. So, sometimes when a free weekend presents itself, we will enjoy the quietness and solitude of home when we would otherwise be “working” on a weekend, leading worship in various locations. Today, though we both really wanted to join our friends at Cross Creek Church in Palmyra. When we heard songs that they often do, we thought of them. We thought of how long it has been since we have seen many of them, since outside of Cross Creek, our lives do not connect. We just had a longing to be there.

So, thanks to a last minute phone call with a friend this morning where we were reminded of the new meeting times… 🙂 We made it! And it was great to see everyone! It had been a long time, but we got a sentence or two in with most of the folks we know… at least a handshake and a genuine “hello”. It was wonderful.

As I was preparing for that this morning, looking forward to seeing everyone, I remembered a brief conversation with a pastor friend of ours. We were talking about how I really get the most out of times I get to connect with friends, other believers who are there for the morning meeting. We catch up on life, what God has been or is doing in their life. How the family is doing…. what’s new… all of that sort of stuff. A real connection that seems hard in between the scheduled goings on, and is impossible as I sit quietly on my duff placing my attention on the happenings in the front of the room.

When I mentioned that was what meant the most to me, he quipped with a sarcastic smile, “Why don’t you just go join the moose lodge?!” He was not telling me I should leave, just revealing the focus that he places on our large group gatherings. They are the time we come to learn, to “worship”, and to focus on God – not each other. It’s a vital piece that we do it together, as the family of God… but it’s not the focus.

That is where I beg to differ. I think that “worship” is not a time or a place (as Jesus told the Samaritan woman in John 4) but something we do with every breath. (A popular song uses just those words, “With ev’ry breath I’m praising you…”) So my main reason for going to a large group gathering of believers then is not to worship, since that is something I do every day all the time anywhere.

But what about the teaching? Surely that is a reason to attend such a gathering? Absolutely! While I do not deny that so much can be learned from the great teachers who can present clear and understandable truths about the Kingdom from their study and their experience and walk with God, that still is not my main focus for attending such a meeting. Again, I submit that throughout the remainder of each week, my mind and heart are filled with great thinkers thoughts on the Kingdom be they in books, web pages, MP3s, radio programs… what have you. There is such a wealth of great teaching available to anyone and everyone today that the Sunday morning gathering is certainly not my primary source of such teaching. And, aside from all of the “expert” teaching we receive from the so-called “professionals”, I enjoy learning from my neighbors… the way they interact with my Father. I enjoy listening to God’s voice through the experiences of friends who may not think themselves teachers, but by sharing their lives with me take on that very role in my life.

So again, at least for me, the reason for attending such a meeting is not to worship – that happens all week long, all the time – nor is it to “be fed” as we like to call it. It is not for the teaching, as again, there is no shortage of that in my life.

Is it perhaps the specialness of the place? No. I mentioned that already, too. Jesus said that worship is not a located thing. There is no place we can go to be closer to him as he now resides in us. In us! WE are the temple of the holy spirit! That is too deep to go into here. Perhaps another blog…

So that leaves me with… the other believers! The reason that I want to attend such a meeting has nothing to do with anything that is planned, though that is always nice – and helpful – I could get that anywhere. The reason for me is to connect with other believers – especially ones I would not otherwise connect with. To share some piece of our current journey together. To feel and see the bigness of God’s family. So much larger than me. So much larger than my small group of friends. He is real and central in so many lives other than my own. And I love to know Him through them.

Unfortunately, if this is the main reason for Christians gathering in large groups, you’d never know it. The focus certainly seems to be on the events planned for that day. Even today, I was told when to stand, when to sit, and what would be happening next. Nothing out of the ordinary… that’s what we do. But, if the greatest thing we have as we gather is each other, it does not seem like that element is being emphasized or facilitated in any way, does it? Do we make that a priority in our gatherings?

Some churches do this well. While maintaining a priority on the up-front events, they carve out a decent amount of time for people-connecting. Cross Creek is one such group. There is a time in the middle to get some coffee and just say hello to everyone. Theirs lasts perhaps 5-6 minutes. There has been a church or two along our path who has taken as much as 15 minutes for such an event. That’s great! But again, usually it is much less than 10% of the time we are together. MUCH less. Often there is a bit more time in the parking lot or the lobby after the scheduled portion of the meeting is over, but too frequently, everyone has other things they need to get on to.

Please do not think I fault only those responsible for planning the church gatherings. I do not presume that they have so much influence over an entire culture. Certainly a good portion of the blame for a misplaced focus rests on those who “attend” these meetings. Arriving late (due to rousing and preparing a family of small children at such a time of the day, no doubt…) and getting everyone to their respective rooms, entering the main room just in time to sing the last song with everyone. Then sitting through the remaining portion of the show, taking notes and attempting to hear God’s truth for their personal life packed into about 45 minutes of one hour. As it’s over, the rush to pick up the kids ensues. After collecting them all, their tiredness, and crankiness overtakes your desire to connect with other believers, and you rush out the door to get home, or to do whatever else might be planned before you can go home.

Life these days is certainly a rush. That’s why we try and pack so much into a “worship service”. We “only have an hour a week to reach them”. That is the mentality in some circles. At least from the leadership position. Perhaps there is an equally sad mentality from the seats… “You only have one hour to reach me, God… so say something meaningful… and quick!“

So while we go expecting to give to God, and him to us… we miss the joy of community. We miss perhaps the greatest part of “the church”. Not the building, the time, the meeting, or the organization. The people whom God has called to himself. From out of the world, into His Kingdom. The Believers. The Saints. The Called Out Ones. His Church.

Acts 4:32
All the believers were of one heart and mind, and they felt that what they owned was not their own; they shared everything they had.

Everything was about the oneness. Everything was about the togetherness. They loved being together. They shared everything. All the time. Acts 2 says they even went to the Temple everyday to worship (as was their custom). They ate together, prayed together, shared meals together… even shared money. Life was about being together. And why not? The rest of the world hated them. The persecution was on a level that we can not comprehend in 21st century America. We have not, and perhaps will not experience such hardship. So to join together was an oasis in the desert. It was the living water of Jesus – his very body – together as one. How could they come together but once a week and then only to sit and listen to a presentation, with minimal participation, organized and performed by a select few? Where was the sharing of everything there?

No. Their focus was not on the schedule of a planned meeting. It was on each other. On their joys, on their hardships. On their shared journey with an amazing Father. That is where I find joy – even in as little time as is allotted for such – that is where I find joy when gathering with other believers.

Perhaps that is just me… the way God made me? Or, perhaps our focus is slightly shifted. What if we re-focused? What if our gatherings were not as much about the individual and God, but more about his children encouraging and exhorting each other? Wouldn’t that be as much (or more?) worship than listening to a carefully and wonderfully crafted hour of events?

Well, that’s how it looks through my lens.

rest

peace

serenity

trust in You

your work in me

your faithfulness

from generations to me

and through eternity

but now

now

turmoil

unrest

angst

uncertainty

fear

unknown

my words

not Your Word

Word

Life

Light

Peace

Hope

Grace

Forever

and now

now

I heard on the news last night that Cookie Monster, the blue cookie-eating furry guy from Sesame Street – a piece of my childhood… is “changing his tune”.

Now, instead of singing, “C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me…”, revealing his deep love for cookies, as his name suggests, he will be singing, “Cookies are a sometimes food…”

WHAT? Come on, people. Seriously. If Cookie Monster can’t eat cookies, I think we’ve gone a bit too far.

The move is an attempt to help overweight children eat better. How is making Cookie Monster show restraint and moderation going to do that?!? HE’S THE COOKIE MONSTER!!! He’s supposed to eat cookies! IT’S FUNNY!

Oh my. I just had to say, oh my.

Do you ever notice how scary God is, especially in the old testament? Any revealing of himself was at least scary, or sometimes even deadly for the recipient. This causes people to do funny things. Being in the presence of something so fearsome makes you feel small and worthless and fear your existence will simply be snuffed out by the sheer volume of His greatness.

Isaiah had one of those experiences. In the 6th chapter of Isaiah, it says:

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In the year King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord. He was sitting on a lofty throne, and the train of his robe filled the Temple. Hovering around him were mighty seraphim, each with six wings. With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with the remaining two they flew. In a great chorus they sang, “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty! The whole earth is filled with his glory!” The glorious singing shook the Temple to its foundations, and the entire sanctuary was filled with smoke.

Then I said, “My destruction is sealed, for I am a sinful man and a member of a sinful race. Yet I have seen the King, the LORD Almighty!”

Then one of the seraphim flew over to the altar, and he picked up a burning coal with a pair of tongs. He touched my lips with it and said, “See, this coal has touched your lips. Now your guilt is removed, and your sins are forgiven.”

Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to my people? Who will go for us?”

And I said, “Lord, I’ll go! Send me.”

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That description of God is awe inspiring, and scary, is it not? He’s surrounded by other-worldly creatures whose singing shakes the Temple. The whole place is filled with smoke and his “glory” fills the whole earth. That’s big glory! Isaiah’s reaction is certainly understandable, is it not?

“My destruction is sealed, for I am a sinful man and a member of a sinful race. Yet I have seen the King, the LORD Almighty!”

God’s bigness reveals Isaiah’s smallness. He is a sinful member of a sinful race. God is pure. Not sinful. Judge of the sinful. High and lifted up. Indeed.

But what happened? Did God smite Isaiah with his rod of lightning? Did he pulverize his puny frame with his little toe? NO! One of the creatures takes a coal from the altar and touches it to Isaiah’s lips. What must that scene have looked like. Already in terrible fear, this 6 armed creature flies toward you with a hot rock and brings it up toward your mouth! There must have been some peace though in Isaiah, as he allows that to happen. Either peace, or he was simply resigned to his impending death at the hands of this horrific creature. 🙂

However it happened, there was definitely some sort of change after that. God asks the question, “Who will go for us?” and Isaiah jumps up and down waving his hand shouting, “Me! Me! Pick me! Pick me!!!” What could have made him decide to volunteer so quickly in the presence of such an awful creature?

Probably more here than I am willing to delve into at the moment, but I think I see two things. One, God is not as awful as we first think, and two, he invites us to come to him.

Did you notice there was no pain in the application of the coal from the altar? Wouldn’t that have been recorded? I would think so. But there wasn’t. I don’t think that the whole searing of his lips thing was for the holiness of God. I think that that moment was for Isaiah. For the fearful child of God… a sign that he was accepted in the presence of such an awe-inspiring being. I think it worked.

But most of all, I think we have this natural, understandable fear of God and of his angels. Every first encounter of God in his full glory or even an angel is cause for fear and trembling. When Jesus was transfigured, Peter wants to build him a house. 🙂

God is scary. No doubt about it. But I don’t think he wants to be. Why else would he be born as a baby? Put on skin and hang out with the low-lifes. The people everyone else despised. Why would he allow himself to be surrounded by, even touched by sin? The righteous people of that day did not touch sick people, like lepers, not only for fear of contagion, but also because they thought the sickness had come on them due to some sin or unholiness in their lives, or even their parents’ lives.

Why do we do that? Why do we create boundaries that God did not? When he was a man, he walked right in the middle of the mud puddle. He was covered with all of the dirtiness of life – not of his own dirt, other people’s dirt – but he was still holy. He was still God. Wearing the skin of Jesus of Nazareth, being fully man… he was able to have full friendship with his creations. Not as the fearsome and wondrous God of the universe… though at moments that nature showed through (calming the storm, feeding the masses).

God is beyond our comprehension, and in all his glory is a sight too awesome for our eyes. But Isaiah learned that he could trust this terrible being. He had a conversation with him, following his self-loathing words of condemnation.

Once we understand God’s love for us, his compassion toward us, how he feels about us… how can we not approach him as our father? The Holy One invites us to be his friends… his children even. He is not to be feared by those whom he loves.

Perhaps it’s more of a grade-school confidence in the love of your dad? Supreme confidence in your safe position, cause you know your dad loves you and can handle anything anyone would throw your way. Cause you know…

“My Dad can beat up your Dad!”

True. Not completely applicable… but… true. 🙂

I was listening to a podcast (a new form of “broadcasting” a radio program is to record it and post it to the internet as an MP3 that people can listen to on their MP3 players – like the iPod – hence the name… podcast!) the other day and a phrase caught my attention. The speaker was a former pastor who has stepped away from “the paid ministry” and is now feeling more free, and more helpful to people than ever before. He spoke of his new paradigm in life saying:

“It’s no longer practice… no longer pretend. It’s real!”

My head nodded emphatically in agreement.

For a while now I have noticed that the whole world of Christianity as I know it has some level of “pretend”. It is in a way, imaginary. We have so closely united our life with Jesus and all of the things we call “church”, that to leave behind any of the practices of christianity is to leave behind some piece of Christ himself. From Sunday school to Sunday potlucks, from Wednesday night prayer meetings to Sunday morning worship, from singing in the choir to going on a short-term mission trip… even down to individual practices of praying before meals or having morning quiet time. None of those things by themselves are bad in any way. When they become the heartbeat of our relationship with God… moreover, when they replace our relationship with him, then we have a term I heard recently… “Churchianity”. The religion of the church.

The church is not a bad thing. The church, as it was designed by God is us, the believers – his bride. Jesus loves the church. But the church as we define it could be any number of things. Could be one of the four buildings at the intersection less than a 1/4 mile from our house. It could be the state registered non-profit organization that owns and meets in those buildings. It could be the hour that folks meet together on Sunday mornings. (“Come on Mertle! We’re going to be late for church!”)

But with our focus so long on the structure for the masses (read the previous blog) we have created an entire world unto itself. The world of the church. The world of pretend. There are customs and behaviors indigenous to this place. The natives seem to know them, and occasionally, there are seminars to explain such customs… but often, they are simply learned through time. Newcomers slowly pick up the new behaviors and make them their own. As with any culture, there is also a native tongue. Travelers can understand most of what is spoken, but many terms are unfamiliar. The banter seems quite familiar to the natives, however. There is an unspoken dress code, a sense that some things are not to be done at some times. Very much like any other group of people, we have created a culture unto itself.

I think that’s too bad. I think that is what the speaker was referring to. We create this world in which we can do and say and think all the right things, and live out a well-performed Christianity. Life was not meant to be lived in a bubble. “Hide it under a bushel — NO! I’m gonna let it shine!” That’s supposed to mean (in the world of pretend) that we wear Jesus t-shirts and always say “Praise the Lord!” and, “Hallelujah!” That’s not what it means! Jesus is saying you have the light. The Light of The World is in us! Why would we coup him up in this building, or at these meetings, or only with other Lamps? Live life! Let the light shine before all men that they may see your good deeds and praise your father in heaven!

I want to know my neighbors. I want people to see in me not someone who is a faithful attendee of Christian meetings, I want them to see a life filled with hope… and Light. A caring neighbor who listens, and is available, not running to the next planned gathering, or rehearsal for said gathering. I want to know the folks I see in the grocery store, and have some connection with them, there at that moment or from previous connectings. I want to be available as Jesus was available.

Some years ago, I really felt like all that mattered in my life was telling people about the reality of God. It is in our little slogan on our website, our business cards, all our basic gear… even our trailer. It says, “Real Life. Real God.” Nothing has been more important to me than sharing the truth that God is real and his part of every bit of our lives. And so I gave up my pursuits of a career in journalism, to follow a leading from God and give my entire life and doings to him. That has led me down some incredible paths. I can’t wait to see what is next! All of my life has been and still is completely for him.

But perhaps my focus has been on the wrong thing. I have poured my life into doing things for him… working on staff with a couple different churches, planning all sorts of events to share this life God is sharing with me…. and so on. But perhaps I have just been feeding the world of pretend? Helping people to confine their Light to the refueling station of “the church”. Perhaps.

Can you tell I am sorting through some things at the moment? I don’t want you to go away from this post feeling at all negative or mad. If you are…. just forget everything I said. 🙂 This is definitely something God and I are dealing with in me. If it sparks something in you, as the phrase at the top did in me… shoot me an e-mail.

Wherever you are in your journey with him… be there. Don’t get your light from other Lamps. Live in the Light of THE Light. Let him live in you, and teach you, and lead you. He is our source. Not the church. Not any pastor. Not any teacher. HE is the Light. HE wants a relationship with YOU. Really.

Really.

Last night we were leading worship at a local church and had a great time! The band were all good friends, and good musicians. The songs were fun. The mood was pretty light. The room was full of people we love. It was great!

After our song set, we went out around back to sneak in and listen to the message, stopping in the lobby along the way for dinner of course. 🙂 That is always a hit-or-miss kind of thing, so we did get delayed a bit as we conversed with the various folks in the lobby over food and a leisurely stroll back to the main meeting room.

Once we finally made it, we caught up with the speaker in the middle of his message, and as always, it was great! Packed full of truth from scriptures, and good insights into those. A major theme of the portion we were able to hear was that God is so for us… the infinite God of the universe… is not only for us, but he is with us. The fact that such a being would think of us at all, let alone favorably, is a life-changing truth. A truth that God has taught me over the past several years, and that I try and share with every opportunity I have.

What struck me about all of this is that in the middle of a setting that burdens my heart greatly (the polished presentation of all these things)… in the middle of that, there was deep life changing truth. There always is. Though I am saddened often with how much effort we put into the actual presentation of the knowledge of God… at its core, there is life giving hope… an exhortation to drink deeply of the daily life with our Creator… who no longer calls us servants, but calls us friends.

So what I realized last night again (I touched on this in a blog long ago and far away) was that we just have this thing with efficiency. We figure this stuff is so good, we want to reach as many as possible. And so, with all our might, we plan and organize, and schedule and rehearse, and build and build and build these elaborate structures (edifices and programs) to attract as many as possible. We encourage all who attend to invite more people. We plan various outreach events to draw even more people. We tailor the events (including worship services) to be “accessible” to everyone, especially those who might just be “kicking the tires, checking under the hood” of this whole “church” thing. We work so hard to reach the masses, so as to tell as many people as possible in as little time as possible.

It’s not all about the first moment of hearing and understanding the truth. The structures go deeper than that. The goal is to get people connected on a regular basis. To disseminate truth through the vehicle of large group gatherings. Giving the most people the best chance to hear what God is saying to them.

All seems to make sense. Even as I type it, I think, “Yeah. What’s wrong with that?” But last night, I heard a line or had a thought or something that reminded me that Jesus did not try hard to build a structure from within which he could reach the most people. He did not primarily hold public gatherings where he could speak to the most people at once. Jesus’ plan seemed to revolve around close friendships. Make disciples he told us. I have been told that a disciple is one who learns whatever they are learning, and then in turn they “learn” that to someone else. 🙂

Where I think we have missed a nugget of greatness intended for us by God is in this sharing of Kingdom things with our closest friends. This ownership by each member of God’s kingdom of the truth – the life-changing truth that we have experienced and that we know. Not by passing along a sermon tape (or CD, or even MP3 as the case may be…), or even by bringing someone to a large group gathering. Just by sharing life over a cup of coffee. Over a lunch meeting. At the park while your kids play. On an afternoon walk. In the comfort of your homes. Out at a bowling alley. At the local McDonald’s®. Not only do we miss the joy of those situations when we pour all of our effort into the structures for the masses… I think we even limit our effectiveness? I don’t like to use that word, but perhaps it’s true? Might God be able to work more mightily through 3 friends who care about each other, who in turn each have 3 other friends, who each have 3 other friends, who each have 3 other friends… on down the line till each person has a vital connection with someone vitally connected to the Life Giver?

Perhaps.

I wish that we would not focus on the end result so much. On the apparent successes of mass production. While good does come of it, I think we are missing the most important piece of being friends with God… sharing that friendship with his other friends. Directly. Not like watching a movie together, where we sit in the same row next to each other, as we learn about God. But directly sharing our lives, the daily learnings from God, the struggles, the successes, the hum drum and the magnificent.

That is the goal of our structures, but to me at least seems to be missing as so much of our life and energy is poured into feeding the structure. Making it bigger and better so as to reach more people.

Just some thoughts from this wandering head… 🙂 I welcome your comments.

I almost NEVER read these, and certainly never pass these e-mail forwards on… but, I decided to today, and I thought I would post this here for all of you who for some strange reason persist in your blind obedience to Bill Gates and his products…

🙂

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For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for

the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would

have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.

You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the

windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would

run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights

would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation” warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock

you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine

off.

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Very nice! Thanks, Laura! 🙂