Tag / Parenting

by Greg

“Who Does Dad Love?” [Memory Lane]

This week we’re going to take a trip down Memory Lane! Each day this week I’ll be posting one of five of my favorite stories ever published here. Some are taken from books and others (like today’s) have only been published online thus far. These are some funny, some sad, some heart-warming moments from the life we’ve lived. I invite you to enjoy them with me, too.

Today is Cameron’s birthday! So this day’s Memory Lane will feature two Cam-centric posts! One this morning, and one later today. Enjoy! (And happy birthday to our littlest boy!)

Who Does Dad Love?”

February 29th, 2012

Putting Cam in bed is usually a job for Dad. It’s great fun, actually. Cam and I definitely “bond” at these regular meetings. We’ve come up with plenty of fun regular rituals: which blanket goes where, which book is read first, and so many more entertaining—and important!—routines that perhaps I’ll elaborate in a future post.

As we were wrapping up another fun bed time, I asked him, “Cam, who does Dad love?”

I expected a big smile and a jocund, “Caaaam!” but instead Cam’s first thought was, “Warrmart.”

Walmart?? 🙂

I asked, “Walmart?”

“Yeah… Warrmart.”

Pause. Gathering thoughts. “OK, but, who else does Dad love?” (It was hard to stifle my laughter at this point.)

“Mommmmm!” Cam offered with a smile.

“Yes! Who else does Dad love??” I was determined to get to the supposedly easy answer I initially sought. Apparently, Cam thinks I’m pretty good at loving lots of people!

And Warrmart.

“Adex,” was Cam’s next suggestion.

“Yep! And who else does Dad love???”

“CAM!” At this point both our faces lit up and we enjoyed a big “squeeze hug” and, actually, continued the game. 🙂 Cam came up a few more times, as did Mom, and then the rest of the kids.

Jen suggested that Walmart probably came up because it had been mentioned as part of the plans for the day, but that activity never materialized. The kids have $10 gift cards to spend at Walmart … from Christmas! Guess we should get to that some day…

So I may not love “Warrmart”, but I unabashedly love that beautiful little boy you see above: Cameron James Campbell!

by Greg

Messes

The Campbell Kiddos

It’s funny…

I’m really not OK with messes. But, I have kids. Several.

(And they are all really good at making messes!)

Sometimes—after I am able to calm myself down a bit—it makes me smile just to think what a sense of humor God has. He, being all-knowing, must know that I am fairly particular about the environment around me (clutter, noise, odors, textures… you name it!) and yet, I am father to six (beautifully messy) children.

The eight of us reside together in a relatively small home: three bedrooms and one bathroom. (Yes, we have just one bathroom.) Two oldest boys in one bedroom (with lots of other “stuff”), four youngest kids in the other room (with even more “stuff”) and Mom & Dad in the last room, with the rest of the “stuff”.

My wife is an amazing organizer. She loves to do it, too. People seek her advice and assistance when they want to organize things in their lives. And still, we never can seem to keep up. Piles dominate our living space (if we’re lucky enough to have things stacked neatly) and the moments when our floors, counters, tables, and even chairs and couches are not cluttered with various elements of material life are so rare that they are hardly worth mentioning!

Even more humorous, if you go back a generation, my mother-in-law is just amazingly disorganized in her spacial environments. I can’t even describe to you here how impossible it is to navigate her various domains. So, as my father-in-law says, Jen “comes by it honestly”. 🙂

So I have a wife who has a heritage of spacial disorder, and six children who don’t know how to put clothes or toys or books or anything back where it belongs…

This doesn’t seem quite right, does it?

But it is. I am in the right place. God knows me, and he wanted me—particular, obsessive, over-sensitive ME—to be husband and father to these people named Campbell.

I can’t help but laugh as I ponder these things!

So I can walk into the bathroom and find the towels strewn across the floor, bath toys damp from the previous night’s baths and showers, toothpaste over most parts of our small sink, and—more often than not—the toilet holding something that someone forgot to flush. Many times my natural, involuntary reaction is to clench up—OK, probably every time!—but usually I am able to calmly put things back the way I want them to be.

And sometimes, I’m even able to be thankful.

Recently, as I pushed aside soggy toys to get to my toothbrush, I thought, I’m glad for all these teeth to brush. I’m glad for a sink with cold, running water. I’m glad. I took effort, but the corners of my mouth lifted with a smile from deep within me.

Thankfully I do have one space that is somewhat spatially serene. My office is my “sanctuary” because, for the most part, I can keep that relatively organized and clutter-free. It’s a sure sign that I’m overly busy when you see piles or “mess” in my office space.

I really, really, really don’t like messes. Really. I almost can’t handle them.

But I am a blessed man. Surrounded by six children, and a wife who loves me.

Children are a gift from the Lord;
they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man
are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.
How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!

—Psalm 127:3-5

Someday I may have a living space free of clutter. (Though, with Jen’s heritage…) 🙂

But now, even in the midst of the piles of clothes and toys, the sticky surfaces, the dirty dishes and forgotten food behind furniture, the mud, bathroom messes, and everything else—I have an abundant blessing that is worth the messes.

And for me, that’s really saying something!

May your life be full of messes, too.

by Greg

Bee-Do, Bee-Do

Bee-do, bee-do, bee-do | Despicable Me 2“You’re a human being, not a human doing!”

Perhaps you’ve heard, or read that somewhere? I have. It’s clever, and correct—albeit somewhat cliche. A quick search of the web will confirm its ubiquitous usage.1

The reason for such widespread repeating? We tend to focus on the things we do, more than the things we are.

It creeps into every area of life. It’s a subtle form of prejudice, you might say. You’ve likely also heard the verse, “People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”2 It’s in our nature to make snap judgments based on what we can see on the outside. And though what is visible does proceed from the invisible character underneath, things are not always what they seem.

And so we have this focus on the external—the “doings”.

One of the first questions we ask when meeting someone is, “So what do you do?” Obviously this is an innocent question, meant to spur further conversation, but it does reveal the emphasis on what we do, rather than who we are—our character, our being.

Is there a distinction? Can we be something and not do that? Or, can we do something without being that?

Good questions, but perhaps this is better: Which has more lasting importance, what we do, or who we are?

Somehow we are frequently tricked into focusing on the former.

(Maybe the best question is, “To be or not to be”… I mean, Shakespeare said THAT is the question… but I digress.)

I know as a parent I often fall into the trap of correcting my kids’ behavior, rather than remembering to get to the heart of what is causing their actions. And I’m not talking about making excuses here: Hitting your sister can not be excused, even if you are tired or hungry. What is important is remembering that Sister is a person, and when you’re being considerate of others (note the use of the word “being”), I’m pretty sure you can’t hit them.

It’s not limited to parenting, of course. In our own lives we know there are things that we do (or don’t do) that bother us, and perhaps we are wishing we had the power to correct those things. But instead of focusing on correcting the actions—the “doings”—often the solution is a deeper trust in Father to provide for us. We lie because we think the truth might damage our reputation, we take what is not ours (steal) because we don’t think we’ll be OK without it, and so on.

But the heart is what matters. Who I am is more important than what I do, or do not do.

I believe we, Christians, have for so long seen life with Jesus as a code of ethics (meaning a list of acceptable behaviors), that we don’t know how to be. We judge others—and our own selves—on how we conduct ourselves.

But Jesus didn’t say “get this right”, he said love. He said, Be glad you realize your need for your Father, and that you long for justice and mercy and peace, even though you are persecuted for this. It means you are mine.3

It is all about being, not doing.

The other side of the coin, of course, is that who we are determines what we do. That is most certainly true. And this is the key. The cause of the “doing” comes from our “being”.

This is so important.

That’s why Paul said:

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”4

Let God transform you. Changing the way you think. Being transformed from within. This is what matters. It’s what comes first. Our actions, our behaviors—flow from this transformation, and thus, are not the primary cause of it.

Paul also said:

So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires.

Exactly. It’s not helpful to focus on (correcting) the things we do. Changing behavior does not change our “evil desires”.

The only answer is a common refrain here at this blog: Know the one true God, and Jesus Christ whom he sent.

Everything else flows from this.

You are a Child of God. You are his beloved. You are whatever unique piece of your being makes you “you”.

So rest, and be. The “dos” will flow from your being.

Note: The Minion pictured at the top of this post has nothing at all to do with the content of this post. The newly-released movie, Despicable Me 2, features a scene (highlighted in their trailer) of a Minion making the european siren sound, which in Minion-ese comes out, “bee-doh, bee-doh, bee-doh”. AND, which is also hilarious. See? 🙂

  1. Strangely, after a reasonably thorough search of the interwebs, I was unable to determine its origin, or any consensus on a first use. How odd. ↩
  2. From 1 Samuel 16:7. ↩
  3. Not a direct quote, but my own summary of Jesus thoughts from Matthew 5. ↩
  4. It’s interesting to note that a few translations of Romans 12:2 take what is written here about being able to know the will of God and make it say “so that you can do”. Our bias towards the external is revealed in the translations from the original language. Fascinating! ↩
by Greg

Allowing For The Process

seedling

Sometimes I’m really, really impatient. Also short-sighted, selfish, and in general unwilling to let others—even those I love the most—enjoy the blessings that I have received and thrived upon throughout my life.

Yikes. That really doesn’t sound good!

But it’s (in a way) really true.

God is reminding me recently that he is patient beyond comprehension. He understands the various processes of life. Learning, growing, grieving, maturing… many “ing”s take time. Lots of time.

And at times, I think I’d prefer we skip to the good part: the end!

But everything worthwhile takes time. You can’t have the delicious, sun-ripened fruit without many weeks of heat and quiet toil. You don’t get the good end without the process.

Our lives are like that. It’s always amazing to look back and see what God has brought us through, and where he’s brought us to through all of those things. We learn from our own decisions and their consequences, and we learn from events we’re thrown into in the chaos of life (through no fault or credit of our own). Everything along the way shapes who we are.

Parenting is like that. As a dad, I can not just shape my kids into who they will be. I thinkI do have a good deal of influence, but in the end, each of my kids is a unique individual, created by God for a life-long journey with him. Their own life-long journey.

Sometimes I tire of repeating the same instructions to each of my kids… many times, daily. I wish they would just get it! Think of someone besides yourself! Be a peacemaker! Be kind to your brother/sister! Will you please just listen to what I say?

But it’s a process. A long, slow process.

Just like I have been allowed to have.

I’m far from a perfect parent. That’s for sure. I am going to need to receive many reminders that I am not the Potter in my kids’ lives. I am not the one moulding them into the masterpiece they were made to be.

My father is. (No, not you Dad… I mean your father, too. No… not Grandpa…)

Each of us has a journey, and we’re each led (personally, individually) by our Maker, Shepherd, Father… he’s many things, he’s everything.

And he’s got a plan.

If you’re frustrated with the process right now, just take a deep breath. Talk to the One you’re following and enjoy the place, the moment that he has you in.

Then—even more difficult sometimes—do the same for the people around you. Maybe your kids, or your spouse. Maybe just a good friend of yours. Stop meddling. Leave room for the process, and the Sculptor.

Allowing for the process will produce the greatest results. (I’m not even sure there’s anything else we can do, really! We are not the ones in control, that’s for sure!)

So breathe. Relax. And marvel at the process. In your own life, and also in the lives of the people around you.

Maybe another place to find the fun!

by Greg

Find The Fun

fun-kids

I am an optimist. I tend to pretty easily see the good, or the potential good in nearly every situation and circumstance. I am generally also very trusting of others—their motives, agendas (or lack thereof), and actions—which seems to stem from my general outlook on life.

Was I born this way? I don’t know. Sometimes my wife thinks that I am.

Jen is the opposite. She is very critical, cautious, judicious, and very distrusting of most people; especially people she doesn’t know.

You might call us a good match: the Optimist and the Pessimist. She keeps us out of trouble and I help keep life more fun.

So if this is just a matter of our genetic code, what do we do with verses like this one?

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

There are a few others. (Check out Colossians and Philippians.) Always be joyful? Be thankful in all circumstances?

Sounds pretty optimistic.

So is pessimism a “sin”? How about when I described it as I did above: critical, cautious, judicious? Those are not bad things; not sins.

When the younger people in our home start grumbling more than they are not grumbling, I can often trace it back to some ingratitude in their hearts. Somehow they are not able to see the potential in a situation, or be thankful for the good that is there—that is always there.

So I remind them of the truth of these verses. I don’t see them as commands coming down from an oppressive ruler. Rather, I think they are reminders that to live life fully—a desire Jesus expressly stated he has for us—we will do better to look for the good, to be joyful, be thankful.

A couple weeks ago I was saying these things to the kids again and I used the phrase “find the fun”. That seems appropriate. If you find yourself beginning to grumble or complain, then intentionally look for the fun.

You’re a smart person! You can do it! Take a breath, ignore anything that’s bad, and focus your mind and heart on something good. (Even if the “good” is that your current situation is only temporary!)

Find the fun.

Since it’s repeated in scripture multiple times, I’m guessing that practicing optimism is not only an innate personality found in a portion of the population. It would seem odd that if God made some of us to be pessimists—incapable of “finding the fun”—then he wouldn’t have admonished us to be joyful or thankful always.

There must be something there that makes all of our lives better.

So today I admonish you to find the fun. Go ahead, do it right now. There’s something today, something right now that is a knock-your-socks-off kinda good. You might be separated from it by geographic space or time (maybe it’s a person you love, or something you need to wait for right now) … but it’s still good. It’s still fun.

And your heart will be lighter. Your day will be brighter.

You found the fun.

May your day be full of fun. It’s out there, waiting to be found!

by Greg

Handling Disappointment

disappointed-emmaThere are more than a handful of individuals living here, under this roof.

That’s a lot of opinions, a lot of wants and needs, and a lot of expectations.

And, it’s also a lot of disappointments.

Lately, those have come sharply into focus for the two youngest inhabitants of this home.

At ages three and five, these two are learning (many times daily) that life does not always go as you hope it will, no matter how hard you try to conform it to your will.

And their response to this? Not always the best. Screaming, crying, pouting, yelling mean words, and even aiming projectiles at the offender!

So what do we do with all of these disappointments? What advice can I offer to these tiny, inexperienced people?

It’s a Heart Thing

First, and probably last, it helps so much to remember to be thankful. Look for something good. Whatever it might be. There is always something good.

disappointed-camIf Emma was hoping to get some time to ride her bike but she finds out that Mom and Dad had planned other things that need to be done first … and then, when all that is done it rains … that’s a disappointment. Maybe a big one!

If Cam had his heart set on playing with a certain new toy, but then while he was doing something Mom asked him to do, one of his siblings decided they would play with that toy … there is disappointment. And crying. (See photo to the right.)

That’s sad, for sure. Especially if it’s something he’s really set his heart on. But it won’t be long before his brother or sister has tired of the toy, and he can enjoy some time with it then. And in the meantime, there are many other things he can spend his time doing.

Easy, right?

Well, as we all know… it is not very easy when these disappointments are attached to our hearts.

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23

Your heart will always be where your treasure is. Luke 12:34

One way to deal with disappointments is to realize that if we treasure things that are temporary and changing, well, we’re going to face lots of heart-level disappointments. One certain thing in life is change.

This is clearly part of the learning process when we’re three or five years old. It must and will happen.

Bigger Things

But what about bigger disappointments? What about when kids get older and start making choices that affect more people than just a frustrated sibling? What about when money ebbs more than it flows? What about things against which we are completely powerless, like the choices of others, and even death?

What then?

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called. Romans 8:28

There are not words, really, to deal with the harder, more grave disappointments of life. Especially in the moments of hurt. Often, the truth is, you can’t go back.

In those moments we learn from dire need to really hold onto what we know to be true about Father, and how he loves us. That his plan is for our good. This truth becomes so much more sharply focused when whatever else we were counting on is pulled away from us.

Disappointments definitely come in many sizes.

It Always Comes Back to Trust(ing)

The most important truth in Scripture might be what Paul says just a couple sentences later in that same letter.

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Romans 8:31

This can not be overstated: If God is for us—for you—then who or what could ever be against us—against you. What could ever possible overcome you? There will always be disappointments. Forever to the end of time maybe?

But our Father will always be there with us, through them, and he is for us.

That’s one lesson I hope I am conveying to the tiny people God has entrusted to me. I want them to know that their Father is for them. I can say that with my words, both about their Creator Father, and about myself, but even more effective—even better—I can display that through my actions.

So what do we do with disappointments? We remember that our Father is for us, and with us through them. He’s sad when we are sad, glad when we are glad, and he’s always rooting for us.

(Even when we insist on making things worse for ourselves… which ends in bigger disappointments.)

We’ll never stop being disappointed. Even if we could possibly get all of our own choices right—which we can not!—there are 6 billion or so other people out there who would have to do the same, and the whole rest of the broken creation in which we exist.

Not going to happen.

So … we learn to deal with all of the disappointments of the day by being aware of where our treasure (and so, our heart) is placed, and remembering to be thankful—focus on the good—and really foremost of all … remembering that God is for us.

Remembering those things, and with some time and practice (maybe a few decades worth, or even a century or two?) maybe life’s disappointments won’t wrinkle up our faces quite so badly.

Although, maybe the wrinkly times just reveal the wealth and depth of our experience walking through these disappointments with the One who is for us.

Maybe looking wrinkly isn’t all that bad.

by Greg

Others

It’s really funny how much we think of ourselves. Even when we’re trying to think of others.

This morning I was thinking of Jesus’ words, “Treat other people the way you want to be treated,” and how often I have misrepresented those, even to myself—even though I don’t mean to misrepresent them.

I think that was part of Jesus’ point.

Think of this: when we really try hard to think of other people and do something for someone else—especially if we are trying—there’s usually something in it for us. We are hoping for some reciprocation, at least in the form of accolades, appreciation, even just a “Thank you” from the recipient of our graciousness.

But this morning I even saw another way that “do unto others” could be originating in my own ego; founded in my own self interest.

As we go through life, gaining experience along the way, our perspective broadens, and little by little things we previously didn’t understand—really, couldn’t understand—are revealed to us. I believe the is the process of gaining wisdom, or becoming wise. (Please note: I am not saying that I am yet wise!)

One particular thing I’ve noticed in my life is that I continue to understand more of my parents’ love for me as I watch my own kids grow up, and I can’t put into words the way I feel about them. When I’m having a moment where I can see beyond me, I realize this must also be how my parents think of me, at least in part.

This morning I thought I’d just give them a call and chat for a bit sometime today… just because. I already do this now and again, because I am thinking of them. I love them. But, this morning, my thought was, “I want to treat my parents the way I hope to be treated by my kids.”

Several things happened here. First, I really was thinking of others (my parents) as I thought of how I was their son, and I was thinking ahead to the relationship I hope I’ll have with my sons and daughters when they are the nearing-forty parents of their own children. It was a genuine moment of seeing a way I could act on a treat-others-the-way-you-want-to-be-treated nudge.

And if I live out this mantra in my own life now, with my parents, then down the road my kids might be inclined to do the same, right?

Then I realized how I was still thinking of myself. Wow!

But maybe that’s why Jesus said it.

Somewhere inside us, God placed this ferocious, tenacious, unyielding self-preservative drive. We are quite good at looking out for Numero Uno. And, knowing us as our Creator does, he asks us to tap into this abundant resource in order to live more fully, while also making the world a much nicer place.

Pretty neat!

I won’t actually receive any immediate, nor guaranteed future benefit from deciding to treat my parents the way I want to (hope to) be treated by my children. My actions toward them have no bearing on any future actions by others towards me. I think maybe that is how we often misrepresent those words of Jesus to ourselves and others: “Treat other people the way you want to be treated… and then you’ll be treated that way!” Nope. No promise of any sort of recouping that shared niceness. None.

But tapping into our mega-oversized self-interest, Jesus knew we’d get a tiny glimpse of how to treat other people the way he thinks of and cares for each one of us.

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. Ephesians 5:1-2 MSG

So go think of yourselves. Maybe the more we do, the better our world will be?

That could probably be misinterpreted, too … 🙂

Now, I have a phone call to make.

by Greg

The Real Value of Stuff

Closer view of lots of stuff, things, and junkI love visual truth. Even though I am a person who loves words, and communicating thoughts, emotions, questions, and experiences through just the right word or phrase chosen to build a vivid picture of truth in one’s mind, there is nothing quite like a visual “object lesson”.

Tonight mine came in the form of a neglected electronic relic.

For a few years we have lamented the condition in which we often find most all of our material possessions—generally that would be broken—because of the lack of value placed on those items by our children. It does not matter that we’ve instructed and admonished them using words, nor does our example of how we care for our own things seem to connect this one lesson with their young hearts and minds.

Nothing we do seems to help them value their stuff.

This evening, as dusk set upon the landscape of our little backyard, I decided to do some post-winter clean up. We got rid of the plastic liner from the ice rink today (whose water had already slowly leaked out the previous many weeks thanks to a hole sliced in it late-winter by a submerged skate), and I was also removing and preparing to store the pieces of wood that form the frame of our frozen playground.

As I was picking up the pieces from the rink deconstruction, I spotted a few other items throughout our yard. (To be clear, that is a gross understatement!) I decided that I would gather up the articles of clothing this evening before it was too dark.

I picked up a small fuzzy jacket which had been left by the campfire pit; and there was a glove or two nearby; a wool knitted hat was left in lonely isolation for untold months of winter.

Then I spotted the walkie talkie.

Lots of stuff, things, and junk

See, this is a working, real, usable (with a battery replacement) walkie talkie. It’s mine. I purchased it, for a decent sum of money. I used it, and it was valuable to me. All of these thoughts raced quickly through my mind as I unburied it from the sand in the kids’ sandbox. (Along with a few more unpaired gloves.)

I grumbled more than a bit as I brushed off the dusty layers of sand and thought, “Why do these kids just not care about our stuff? What in the world can I do to help them know the real value of all of our stuff?!”

Ah. Clarity. Mental and spiritual clarity. Lightbulb. Smile.

I suppose that all of this time, I’ve mostly had it backwards. I am the one who has the “wrong” value on our stuff, and the kids are the ones who actually understand the “real” value of it—

Enjoy it. Use it. And don’t give it a second thought.

Now there’s certainly something to be said for what many refer to as “stewardship”. Our “stuff” does cost us something. (Perhaps the amount of stuff we have in this home is fodder for a future post on the “value of stuff”?) If you’ve spent money to own something, it’s still a good idea to take good care of it. That’s not wrong.

But being all ruffled up over a broken walkie talkie (that you haven’t needed for many years now…) is almost certainly a misplaced, misunderstood value.

And so this night, though the lesson was unintentionally given, my sloppy, careless (fantastically imaginative and fun-loving) offspring reminded me—through my discovering a neglected and most likely ruined possession—the real value of stuff.

by Greg

Growing Up

Campbells long agoWe here at the Campbell home are experiencing the winds of change. I think perhaps we have been for quite a while now, but I’ve been noticing it again lately.

Life moves quickly. In some ways, too quickly.

For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
—Ecclesiastes 3:1

Yeah. That’s the other thing that keeps coming up: Seasons.

We live in a climate where the weather reminds us of the benefit of the cycle of seasons. From the snows that bury all of life in a fluffy blanket of white powder, to the beauty of spring in all its colorful splendor, to the heat of summer that produces a bounty of edible sunshine, to the more subdued colorful beauty of fall where we enjoy the harvest, the cooler days, and well… pretty much everything about fall! (Yes, that is my favorite!)

And just like there is beauty in every season of weather and the repeating cycles that are evidence of our never-ending annual circuit around the sun, there is beauty in every season of life in our home.

Campbells nowThe scene above was from another time. Those boys are fourteen and eleven and a half years old now. A decade of life has been lived. I’d have to call it a full decade, though I know that we could not possibly have lived more life than anyone else. But since I am the one who lived it, I have all the memories. I know all that has passed here in those years.

I know of the lives gained. (Do you see all those amazing people in the second picture here?) I know of the losses. I know of the successes and failures. I know of the dreams that were not realized, and the ones that were. (Including ones we didn’t initiate.)

As I pondered the current seasons I saw under our roof, I also thought ahead to the seasons that are now not too far off.

Ian, our oldest, is definitely in a different season—and so, then, are we with him—and in less than two years, he’ll be sixteen years old. He’s already developing his own strengths, and likes, and even goals and dreams for his life. He’s begun the transition toward his own adult life, to be sure. With aspirations of God bringing him a wife, and buying a home, and raising a family… I considered that all of that could quite feasibly occur even in the next decade.

That’s astounding!

I was then time-shifted a decade ahead, pondering that somewhat distant season. Cam, the youngest, would be a teenager. Thirteen years old, and the youngest of four teenagers.

Wait. Let’s let that sink in.

Is it still sinking? Go ahead… I’ll give you a moment. Yes, four teenagers. At one time. Under one roof.

Alright. Moving on …

At the same time, Alex will be about to turn twenty-one years old; a significant age in our culture. (Though we Campbells are not very much bound to any cultural expectations or limitations attached to chronological age. But that’s for another post…)

And Ian? He’ll be twenty-four years old.

When I was twenty-four, I was becoming a father. To Ian. (My dad became a father to me when he was twenty-four.)

So, when Ian has children… that means I will be Grandpa! Wowee!

At this point in my fancying the future, I decided I should slow down and return to the current season. It was getting a little too wacky! Time to return to the present and enjoy the current season!

But that’s just it. That’s the greatest thing about the seasons: we’re not really in one place for too long.

It’s been a (full) short decade since the two tiny boys were the only ones scurrying around our home. (And around the country at that point!) So much life was fit into that short time span. So much more will be lived in the years to come.

And who’s to say what that next decade will bring?

I can dream of what will be, but I can not know it. I don’t know what will happen to us or in us over the next season of life, nor do I even know if we will remain in this world. There’s never any guarantee of that.

So we fondly remember and relive the seasons we’ve come through, and we can even dream of seasons that may be, but with no assurance of what will come, the best place we can be is right here, right now; living fully in the season(s) of life right now.

I feel like this is an ever-present theme in my life, and so on this blog. Don’t you?

Perhaps it’s just the season I am in.

I don’t know what the future will hold, but as I approach the completion of four decades of life on this planet, I do know that it goes fast, and it’s full of really good and also really hard things.

And through it all, Father is with us.

That is our hope, and the one constant we have through all of these seasons.

I actually don’t mind getting older. It’s so amazing to watch life unfold before me. First my own, and all that Jesus wants me to know along my own path. Then in my marriage to Jen, watching him work in her, and in us. And after that to watch the seasons of life develop in our six children. What a privilege to be part of it, and to watch, encourage, train, and cheer on those young and growing lives.

At least, for this season.

And maybe a few more.

by Greg

Life Is In The Moments

emmas-lettersIt’s not uncommon to see some very cute things happening here in the Campbell household. There are, after all, several cute people, who often think of cute things to do. And so, there are many chances for cuteness!

Last night during dinner clean up, I happened to spot one.

Most times I might have corrected this, but somehow this time—lucky for me—I was able to see through the duty-shirking to the cuteness of the moment.

Emma is a “go-getter”. No way around that. She’s the one tugging on Mom to get her to practice reading with her. She picks up the pen, or the crayon—or the Sharpee® marker!—to practice writing her name. (And, being left-handed, as well as being three or four years old, she often has an interesting way of doing so. See below…)

emmas-personal-project

She had volunteered to help the “Clean Up Team” for the night, but shortly thereafter, a purple dry erase marker—her favorite color—caught her eye, and she knew just what she had to do.

I spotted her about half-way through the alphabet. Some letters were very well drawn, others were perfectly written—but backwards. (Commonplace for our little four-year-old beauty.) But there they were, painstakingly created with the greatest care for each stroke…

Upon the clean-up check list. 🙂

emma-toes

These are the fun moments, especially when I have the eyes of a Father more than a Task Master, when joy is free to be. The kitchen was still cleaned. Perhaps it was a tad slower minus the help of Emma’s tiny hands, but the task was still accomplished.

emmas-doodlesAnd Emma’s heart smiled at her accomplishment, and the joy of living in the moment.

And my heart was gladdened by it, too.

I hope that by posting it here, yours is also.

Look for these moments in your life. Whether you’re the one who spots the grand opportunity of a dry erase marker in your favorite color—and the perfect spot to put it to use—or you’re the one who gets to watch the joy of the moment unfold. (Or, maybe you’re the one who tells the tale to share the joy with others?)

Life is in the moments.

I’m so glad I didn’t miss this one last night.