First, I am not really a big fan of Chick-fil-A’s food. (But my wife really is, so it’s a special treat when we are in Chick-fil-A territory!) Thus, this post is not really about their food, or their fun kid’s meal toys, or the fact that they play Christian music in their restaurants, nor that they are closed on Sundays.

But you probably already knew that.

If you haven’t heard—and, well, it’s possible that you haven’t?—the Christian-owned, alternative-to-cows restaurant has been in the news for the past month thanks to remarks that company president and COO, Dan Cathy. Here’s what he said:

Re: the “crisis of fatherlessness”

As an employer, first off, just from that perspective, I see it as a real crisis, in the sense that there is a certain amount of emotional DNA—there’s physical DNA obviously that comes from the dad and also from the mom, but beyond that—there’s some essential emotional DNA that God intended for us to give, from a mother and a dad that, we observe over our life as children—in infancy, and then growing up—that we can only get from our dad, and we can only get from a mother. And we’re to get it in a home, dynamic environment where they’re interrelating together, to build the stability and the self-esteem that God wants us to have to get through our teenage years.

Now when we don’t have one side or the other, you know, I just have to tell you, I think we’re just emotionally handicapped. Doesn’t mean we can’t survive and have a happy life, but it means that we’re gonna have some odds stacked against us. Hopefully there can be somebody that intervenes to help make that up for us. But, uh, to have so many people today that are growing up in homes where they don’t have a mom and dad—I’ll tell you, as an employer, it makes it that much more difficult for us, because we sometimes actually have to have a parenting role.

As it relates to society in general, I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say, ‘We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage. And, I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we would have the audacity to try to redefine what marriage is all about.

Wait. Is that all?

Yep.

Where is the controversy? WHERE is the “anti-gay” that peppers every headline on from every “news” organization?

No really. Where is it?

See, so much of what we hear (and react to) is hype. And it’s predetermined. “What? Someone promoted a traditional, Mom-and-Dad-in-the-same-home family?? THEY HATE GAYS! Boycott!! Tell everyone you know!!!” And then the reaction, “What? They’re attacking my favorite Christian restaurant for speaking the truth against legalizing gay marriage??! Get out and support them! Buy ‘mor chikin’! Tell all your friends!!”

Ugh.

First of all, if you have the time, please listen to this clip—the one that started this recent fury… I mean, flurry of activity on the blogs, social media, and news sites. The whole Dan Cathy interview starts around 21:28, and the part quoted above starts at 29:43. Cathy was a guest on the Ken Coleman Show (never heard of it…) on Father’s Day weekend, talking about his Dad, and his own marriage of 40-plus years to his one wife, and the benefits of a Mom-and-Dad, stable family. Listen:

People. Please. PLEASE. Stop the knee-jerk reactions. Your favorite commentarians (that’s not a word) are NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. Probably not usually right. Take a breath… use Google (or other resources… talking to actual people is good, too!) 🙂 and try to find what is actually being said. If the headline says “Anti”-anything, plan on doing some major filtering. Find quotes, but find LONG quotes. Look for the sources of those quotes (like the show above).

I just can’t believe the agenda that nearly everyone has, one way or another. Truth does not appear to be as important as being first to post, or furthering one’s own worldview—whether or not the item being discussed actually supports or even has anything to do with said agenda.

I will keep pounding this drum till the cows come home. Listen to each other. Go to the source. Believe in each other.

We have to stop using the word “anti” unless it’s really true. Pro-traditional family is not anti-anything! (Except anti-non-traditional-family? But it’s still not anti if it’s FOR something.) Aren’t people who want women to have the choice to end a pregnancy nearly always referred to as “Pro-Choice”? But the opposite side of that argument—those who are actually against abortion—are called anti-abortion-ers. (Though, that side prefers Pro-Life, I believe.) That seems to be a case where words are used correctly.

But what Dan Cathy said, and those who think traditional, one man, one woman, married for life family is a better option (or, the best option), can not be labeled “anti-gay”—or anti-anything—when they are promoting, not protesting.

He is welcome to believe and even promote what he believe (unless it actually injures someone else, or keeps them from doing the same), and everyone else can listen (or not) and then respond (or not) as they see fit. But, as I said above, the response should follow really listening. Not just a knee-jerk (“pre-programmed”) response to a second-to-forty-fourth-hand report about what “someone said”.

There are many more articles to read. Please browse at your leisure.

And be nice.

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• Chick-fil-A Donated Nearly $2 Million to Anti-Gay Groups in 2010 (Article posted July 2nd that began the recent, growing protest/support of Chick-fil-A. Please note, again, that all of the links to “anti-gay” groups that Chick-fil-A funds via donations to a charitable organization are all pro-family, pro-traditional-marriage.)
• Chick-fil-A Anti Gay Statement: Dan Cathy, CEO Stands Ground on Ken Coleman Show
• Huffington Post: The Attack on Chick-fil-A
• The Blaze: Is Chick-fil-A Really ‘Anti-Gay’? Business Takes Heat For Christian Values (from February 6, 2011!)
• Dan Cathy’s blog