Tag / Ian

by Greg

Where Do You Apply Grace?

Lately due to many different factors, our children have been both extra tired, and definitely extra tiresome. They have been frustrating both Jen and me in various (mostly little) ways. Silly, childish things… but whether they are “just kids” or not, they are still frustrating. And after a build up of lots of small things… they can seem very large, and overwhelming.

Last night after the kids went to bed, when the house was quiet and I was cleaning up from the day, I was thinking of them. Of the kids who had just so frustrated me with their attitudes, their selfishness, their carelessness, their clumsiness. And I didn’t think of any of that. I thought of how much I love each one of them. I thought of how they make me smile. I thought of how sad I was that I ever get harsh with them. (Yes, out of my parental frustration, I have been known to be stern, harsh, strict… whatever you want to call it.)

Kids are great, and they (mostly) only remember the good stuff, too. When morning comes, no one remembers the hardness of the last moments of the day. It’s just another chance at another day of life together. And that’s great!

Grace does not have an expiration dateBut what I was wondering in the quiet was, How do I bring in the grace?

See, one big example from recent times involves my oldest son Ian. “Your oldest???” you ask? Yes, even though we have a one year old, a three year old, and a super-energetic five year old… this story of frustration involves our soon-to-be nine year old! Ian has a track record of spilling things. He has trouble focusing sometimes, and just forgets where his appendages are or where other objects are in relation to his body. It happens a LOT. So, when Ian spilled the vase with the 10th anniversary roses (and plenty of 10th anniversary water in it), and it got all over a bunch of toys that were underneath where they were sitting… I was really angry.

I was angry because we’ve been over this. We’ve told Ian to watch where he is going, what he is doing. We’ve cleaned up too many spills to remember. And, I was extra frustrated because of the timing. This particular time I was feeling very time crunched, and didn’t have room to add ANYTHING else – like a major clean up in aisle seven.

I did not mince words. I was not really “mean”… but I wasn’t nice. I scolded Ian for his carelessness. Then I got mad at his self-pity for feeling like I was telling him he’s “clumsy”. What a crazy cycle! We made it out of that alright, and the rest of the night went OK.

The next day, I found a wet spot on the carpet. It was under the roses – which were WAY up on a tall surface. “Nooo… he couldn’t have…” I thought. I was wrong. When I found Ian, he got the guilty look on his face, and confessed to having once again knocked the flowers over, and he told me he did try to clean it up. I was angry again – mostly incredulous. (If you could see where these flowers were, you’d be right with me on that…) I did not as much scold him this time, mostly just took the opportunity to let him know how unlikely it was that he could actually spill the flower vase from there. And I told him to just let me know when it happens, not let me find out for myself.

But he probably won’t. Because I don’t know how to show him grace. At least not in that area. I mean, we’re past the grace, right? I’ve given him lots of grace… now he needs to learn how to actually be responsible. To change his ways. To NOT spill stuff all the time, making lots more work for Dad, and ruining our stuff. He has to learn that doesn’t he? I have a right to be frustrated… right???

While I certainly can’t dismiss my feelings in these moments – the frustration seems quite understandable – it is almost silly when I pretend those questions above are valid. If I really get grace, then I know that they are not. Grace does not have an expiration date. Grace lasts forever. No matter how many times Ian is clumsy, no matter how many times it’s his fault, no matter how much of our stuff he ruins… I still love him, and his heart – and our relationship – is more important than my stuff, or his being able to not spill stuff.

It may seem like a silly example, but for whatever reason it has been extremely hard for me to extend grace to Ian – whom I love – in that area. I am asking God to show me how and when I can change that, so that Ian can know that he can fail and that won’t affect our relationship. It doesn’t… but I don’t think that I let him know that very well.

So do you have any examples? Any thoughts? How do you parent with grace, and yet sustain the boundaries and guidelines and moral and other instruction that children need? I know that context is supreme, but I’d love to hear your success stories.

Until then, I will continue to look for examples to extend grace to my kids, and in so doing, probably learn a lot about grace extended to me.

by Greg

Ian Jeffrey Campbell: God’s Gracious Gift

Ian Jeffrey Campbell

A Little Background…
As we approached our first anniversary, life was a whirlwind of new things. Not only were we celebrating the first year of our marriage, we were also expecting our first baby! He was definitely planned, expected, and greatly anticipated. We were a bit surprised at how early he was coming into our family, but we grew more excited as the weeks and months went by to meet our first baby in late January of 1999.

Campus ministry was going OK. Marriage was not. How come no one told us it would be this hard? Perhaps they did, but we brushed them off as people who weren’t “really trying” or had just forgotten the love they once had for each other. Well, even with the anticipation that comes with your first child, things were still pretty rough in the early going of our life together. Trying to meld two individual lives into one took its toll on both of us, I think.

And this baby was taking its toll on Jen. Of all the pregnancies Jen has carried since, this one was by far the most draining on her. We didn’t know what to expect, since this was our first, but we learned that being pregnant makes you very tired, and a bit more emotional… and a very picky eater! Jen only wanted smashed potatoes with lots of butter and salt. 🙂 I learned very quickly to make meals for Jen to her exact specifications!

As we worked our way into the fall months, life was busy as always. I was working as a bus driver, in addition to the campus ministry, in addition to several other duties with our small church in Victor, NY. We were also attempting to raise support to work for the church who could not pay us at that time. Lots going on.

During this fall season of 1998, on one of our fall visits to Clarence, NY to spend time with family, we received some disturbing news. In fact, I think it may have been a visit to celebrate Jen’s birthday (October 28th). Jen has three (considerably) older brothers. The three of them are only three years apart in age, but they are all at least 11 years older than Jen. The middle of those three brothers is Jeff. Jeff is a different sort of fellow… kind heart, loves helping people… not able to do a lot of things that other folks his age could do. But that didn’t stop Jeff from being awesome. 🙂

That October 28th (1998), as we were wrapping up the night of fun, Jeff began telling us of his recent visits to the doctor. They were watching some strange marks on his legs. (I forget these many years later if it was both legs or just on one. The image in my mind is only on one leg.) He pulled up his pant leg to reveal some very dark, black marks – almost like bruises, but looking more like veins – creeping up his leg from his foot. It was certainly shocking, but … not an easily identifiable danger. He was scared as he showed us, and reported what the doctors were saying. But we reassured him that it would probably be OK, and that the doctors would help him figure out what was going on.

Jen & I probably chatted a bit on the ride home about what we had seen and heard from Jeff that night. It was a little scary, but we trusted that the doctors would figure something out, and that Mom & Dad would help Jeff get through whatever might be ailing his body this time. They were all pretty good at that by now, and we rested in knowing that.

A Turn For The Worse
Life continued as normal for the next week. We went about our regular business. Jen’s belly continued its slow growth. I’m sure there were good things and bad things that happened from October 28th, 1998 until the next Wednesday, November 4th, 1998, but most of them have long since faded from memory.

Not true for Wednesday, November 4th, 1998.

I remember the phone call. I can’t remember if it was from brother Jon, or Andy. (OK, the details are a bit foggy, but there are very vivid images in my memory from that day.) What I do remember are the words, “Jeff is dead.”

“WHAT? How can that BE???” Jeff was way too young for this to even be possible. I remembered the marks on his legs and the hint of fear in his voice, and everything just rushed back into my mind along with the overwhelming feelings of pure bewilderment. “How can this be?”

The tears flowed freely. We gathered at Mom & Dad’s house and just hugged, cried, sat in silence, and dealt with the details and the many visitors who came to share in the grief, or offer help where – or if – they could.

Though there was definitely a big hole in our lives left by Jeff’s sudden passing, we did manage to begin getting back to the “normal” routine over the next couple weeks. Campus ministry continued, bus driving continued, and the baby continued to grow inside Jen.

It was not too long after Jeff died that both Jen and I separately thought that we should name our baby after Jeff, if the baby was indeed a boy. Jen had an inkling that it was, and somehow, once Jeff died, we both knew “for sure” that it would be. We had the first name picked out already, but a different middle name, that we weren’t too sure of anyway. And there really was no question that if we did indeed have a boy – and it only seemed fitting that we would – we would certainly name him Ian Jeffrey.

It was already November, so the time was passing quickly. End of the semester events, holiday preparations. Life was certainly not back to normal for Jen’s mom & dad. We prayed daily for them, I think, and made sure to keep tabs on how they were doing. Jeff’s death was a horrendous experience for them. Maybe especially for Dad. He was the one that found Jeff. He was the one that felt the responsiblity – perhaps even burden? – to care for him for 36 years. They had their spats, to be sure. I was witness to a handful of them, and Jen can attest to so many more. But Jim & Carolyn loved their little boy (who was not so little!) and his sudden removal from their lives was just plain crushing.

Christmas was fast approaching, and we were just getting through all the stuff that needed to be gotten through leading up to a Christmas Eve service at our tiny little church building in Victor, NY. That would be the final event before a little Christmas break to be with family. It was the down time between semesters, Christmas and New Year’s… a great time for a break.

But we had to get through Christmas Eve first!

Christmas Eve, 1998
It was our first Christmas Eve service at the Church of Christ at Victor. I can’t recall right now if I was there in 1996 (my first year there on staff) but I do know we had not been there in 1997, as we spent that Christmas season with my parents in Ohio. So we weren’t quite sure what to expect. At least, I wasn’t. I and my ever-growing pregnant wife arrived at the little building about an hour before time to begin and the room where the service would be held was already packed!!! Ha! I couldn’t believe it! So, I scrambled around (in front of everyone) to get all of our musical equipment set up, and the night pretty much was just a blur from there on.

Christmas songs, smiles and hugs between friends, even a bit of home made egg nog if I remember correctly… it was a nice Christmas Eve service. After all had finished, and we’d done a bit of clean up, we packed up and headed out for the hour and fifteen minute drive to Jen’s parents’ house.

We arrived late, but talked till later. That’s a Walker family tradition I have learned. The best chats are usually after the day has been completely exhausted, and everyone retires to their various seats in the living room. It’s just a place no one wants to leave, no matter how tired they might be. (Or, how pregnant!) So we stayed up and chatted for a good while… probably hit the hay near midnight that night. Definitely heavier hearts than normal… mixed emotions as we headed into Christmas morning. The first one without Jeff.

Now we were completely unprepared for what was about to befall us. We were not expecting a baby until JANUARY 25TH. It was only December 25th. We had been reading some childbirth books, and certainly were eager to meet our new baby…. just… not yet.

About 2am (I think… maybe 4am?), I awake to find Jen is missing… and in the bathroom. I’ll spare you the graphic details, but she was spending a little more time in there than normal, so I was certainly curious. She finally came back to where we were sleeping and I asked, “So, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know… I think my water broke.” she said, a bit confused.

“You think?” I wasn’t sure what that meant. I hadn’t ever experienced such a thing, of course, but… wouldn’t you know??? “What do you mean, ‘I think’?” I queried.

She explained what had been going on for a while now, and it sure sounded like her water had broken to me! From what we had read in the books, I knew that was time to spring into action – even if we were a WHOLE MONTH ahead of schedule. But we talked about it, and Jen decided it was OK to wait till a more decent hour to call our midwife. She was back in Rochester, and could tell us what we should do. The contractions were not very severe, so we just decided to wait.

Everything progressed steadily through the night – Jen did not get much sleep, but then again, neither did I! – and at about 8:30 am we phoned our midwife. She was very excited for us, and said that the best thing to do would be to come to Rochester if we thought we could make it. Jen thought we could, so off we went.

A Different Sort of Christmas Morning
Now, this is one of the comical memories of the day. We all pile in my in-law’s car, Jen & I in the back, Mom in the passenger seat timing contractions, and Dad driving… fast. If you know Jim Walker, you probably know that he’s a very law-abiding citizen. He likes to do the right thing. Well in this case, his love for his daughter, or grand-baby, or perhaps his love for his car’s upholstery permitted his conscience to drive at about 90 mph on the NY State Thruway. 🙂 We’ve never made such good time to Rochester! 🙂

The contractions continued, and all seemed to be progressing just fine. Except that it was Christmas morning! Obviously plans had changed a bit for the day! Instead of waking up, sharing some food, opening presents – and missing Jeff – we were speeding down the highway, ready to have a new baby!!!

We arrived at Rochester General Hospital sometime in the 10 o’clock hour, and got checked in and did all of the preparatory stuff. Got settled in a room, and Jen got ready to have a baby! Not getting much sleep the night before, we could see she was a bit weak, so our midwife suggested lunch. And so, we ate lunch.

I actually don’t remember lunch one bit. I vaguely remember Jen trying to force down a few things, but not really wanting anything. I have no idea if I ate or not. I do remember we were all there… and looking forward to a new baby! I believe Jen’s oldest brother, Jon, and family had joined us by this point. They were going to come over to Clarence for the Christmas Day festivities, but that was preempted by this pending birth.

Oddly enough, though the labor had begun in the middle of the night (and hadn’t stopped), Jen’s body was not showing much progress. The doctors weren’t too concerned about that yet… but we were certainly getting tired. Poor Jen! She was falling asleep – sitting up – between contractions! Maria, our midwife, was calm and relaxing, carrying on a conversation with Jen & me, and anyone else in the room… offering advice at various points as to what might help Jen. She did a great job.

Well, the hours turned into even more hours, and the rest of the family decided to make the trip over from Buffalo to Rochester! Jen’s brother Andy, as well as the family who had adopted Jeff’s kids (whom we had adopted into our family) eventually joined us at Rochester General. What’s the point in spending Christmas day over there when the party was clearly here!!! From what we were told, there was quite the party in the waiting room by that Friday evening. 🙂

All this time, Jen went ahead with our desired drug-free course. Her body was growing very weary, though. This was WAY harder on her than I expected it would be. I mean, I watch the movies and stuff, but this went on a LOT longer than any TV birth I had ever seen. (I guess editing helps that a lot…) 🙂 They asked if she wanted any pain medication, but she held on and politely refused the offer.

By the evening time, more and more doctors began to visit the room. Jen was in the 35th week on the 6th day – or, one day before “full term” – so the docs were watching this particular birth a bit more than normal. Because this labor was taking so long after the water broke, some of the doctors were a bit concerned and wanted to do an internal monitor thingie. We didn’t really want that, but this was definitely not going exactly as we had planned, so… we agreed. The test revealed that all was still going just fine… just going very sloooooowly.

We were getting close though. Right around the 9pm hour, things started really crankin’. We had been having regular visitors to the room throughout the night. Jen’s mom & dad, our friend Leah wanted to be there for the actual birth, so she had been for a few hours. A niece here, a nephew there, a brother here, a sister-in-law there. But more than that, those doctors kept coming to take a peak at the not full-term lady. It was kinda crazy. But it GOT CRAZIER. As Jen went into full labor, the room FILLED with doctors. It was nuts! I just stayed up by the head of the bed on one side of Jen. Leah was on the other, and somewhere nearby was Jen’s mom and our midwife, Maria.

It was quite a party for Ian’s arrival! 🙂

God’s Gracious Gift
Ian dancing with his sister KirstenThe final stage of labor actually went pretty quickly, which I was so glad for. And at 9:19pm on Friday, December 25th, 1998, we were given our first baby… a boy. I just cried. As soon as I saw him I cried. I don’t cry much. So, I was a bit surprised at that sudden rush of emotion. But it’s all I could do. It was the culmination of 8 months of waiting for a baby with great anticipation. It was the culmination of 2 months of sorrow and sadness and loss… replaced with great joy and a healthy new baby boy! It was the culmination of a long – very different – Christmas day spent with the extended Walker clan at a hospital in Rochester.

There were probably 20 people in that room with Jen & me, and our new baby. Maybe more. A few moments – who knows how long – after the baby was born, and we were holding him, Jen’s dad asked from the back of the long room, “What’s his name, Greg? What’s his name???” I looked at Jen and offered her the chance to give her parents the gift we had somehow almost known we’d be able to give. She was just too exhausted and motioned for me to go ahead.

“His name is Ian,” and I paused, then said clearly, but emotionally, “Jeffrey… Campbell.”

I don’t remember exactly what happened, but there was a definite understanding in the room that this new baby boy was named after the family member whose absence still hurt us all. God had given us a gift – on Christmas day no less – and his name was Ian Jeffrey, after his Uncle Jeff, whom he never knew. We later learned that the name Ian means “God’s Gracious Gift”. We had simply chosen it because it was the Scottish name we liked the most.

But I think God had other plans.

I don’t remember when the party died down that night, but eventually it did. My parents also came up that weekend to meet their first grandson. That was a joy as well. They brought us pizza and wings, and we watched the Bills game in the hospital that Sunday afternoon! 🙂 All were happy to meet this new little Christmas boy, Ian Jeffrey Campbell.

Ian couldn’t have been healthier. The nurses and doctors were all thrilled at how healthy he was. He was a bit on the scrawny side (the fat comes in the final month of gestation…) but overall the thing they were most concerned about was his “slight jaundice”. (I told the nurses that wasn’t jaundice… Jen is kind of yellow too!) So, they ran lots of tests on him, just to be sure, but all checked out normal. I tried to tell everyone that he was just fine… that God had a purpose for him, and so he was just fine.

Ian was indeed God’s Gracious Gift. He was given to us on a Christmas Day. Usually a time of family togetherness and celebration that, for the Walker clan in 1998, was marred by the sudden loss of our brother Jeff. When we imagined we’d be feeling the emptiness of death, we instead spent the entire day anticipating life, and we were given another Jeffrey.

All four Campbell Kids

The Marks
One more interesting thing about Ian’s arrival here on the planet. Do you recall the strange marks on Jeff’s legs just before he died? Well God gave them to Ian. They aren’t as scary looking as Jeff’s, and sure, they’re slightly different. But, not long after he was born, we noticed some marks that go all the way down his left leg – which if my memory is correct, is the leg that Jeff showed us that night in October. They are not exactly the same, but it is just crazy that Ian even got those crazy marks that match his Uncle Jeff. Now, I do have a strange birthmark that extends over a good portion of my left arm, but these are just a bit different, and “coincidentally” just where the marks were on Jeff’s body before he died.

I don’t think any of our other children so far have fit into a bigger picture like Ian did on his birth day. Ian was born at just the right time for so many more people than just him. His story is bigger than just him. That doesn’t take anything away from any of our other children who we have seen added to our family. Each of those days is certainly memorable as well. But there’s no denying that we gave Ian Jeffrey the right name, even before we knew how any of the events would unfold.

Ian truly is God’s gracious gift.

by Greg

Approaching One Thousand

Recently I have been monitoring my post count. The dashboard in Blogger tells me how many different posts I have published to my blog. Currently, I stand at 997, and this will be 998. That’s a lot of posts. Quite a fence that would make… 😉

Well I have been thinking about what would be worthy material for post #1000. I just think if numbers mean anything at all (which, I know… they really don’t) then I didn’t want a link to some Steve Jobs quote about the iPhone to be post #1000. 🙂

What could measure up to such a lofty number? I ran many things through my head, and actually got a bunch of nothing. I couldn’t even begin to think what I could write about that would bear that proud tag. Until today.

Today I remembered that I have been telling people now and again that I will someday write the story of how God brought Ian into the world. It’s fantastic, and has God written allll over it. We have retold the story several times over the years, when there was time to do it justice. But I have never gotten it all written out. Chronicled for the ages.

Well post number one thousand will be about Ian Jeffrey Campbell, our first-born son… and how he truly was “God’s gracious gift”.

by Greg

Baseball Means Summer

BaseballI was looking out my window this morning, and the grass looked a little greener. I don’t mean figuratively. I mean, literally… it looked greener. The shadows were a bit different. The sun is moving into it’s summer position. The world outside just seemed a bit more “summery”.

But the one indicator that summer is approaching… BASEBALL. The boys start baseball tonight. They’ll play every Friday night for about 2 months. Alex gets to play his first year of tee ball this year, and Ian will be moving up to “coach pitch” ball. I think that means the coach pitches to the players. I think. 🙂

It will all be great, except that the boys will be on very different fields… AT THE SAME TIME 🙁 I’m really disappointed about that. But we’ll work something out. Or, I’ll just be mad for the next 8 Fridays. 🙁

We’re excited that baseball is here! I’m not looking forward to the hot summer temps, but I am looking forward to watching my boys play baseball again, and practicing with them the rest of the week. 🙂

Come on out and root ’em on!

by Greg

Three In One

This morning the boys were in my office to read the Bible, and we got talking about one particular line we read.

Soon after this, Jesus was going through towns and villages, telling the good news about God’s kingdom.

Luke 8:1

So many times we take the good news out of the “good news”! I told the boys that sometimes we make knowing Jesus about knowing what not to do, or what to do, instead of the greatness of a God who loves us. The story we read yesterday was about the woman who came and poured expensive perfume on Jesus, and was crying on his feet, wiping away the tears with her hair. Jesus told the astonished “holy dude” who was with him that someone who is forgiven much will celebrate that forgiveness much more! That’s the good news! God’s love and forgiveness are available to all!

Somewhere in the conversation we started talking about how the good news is that we get to be close with God, like he’s our Dad. And then I said, “And Jesus is like a brother, which is cool.” The brothers smiled. “And Jesus, who is God, who is also the Father, is like our Dad, which is cool.” I started losing them here. “And then God is spirit, too… and that’s like, you!” I was sort of confusing myself, but stick with me here… “It’s like God can be so close that he is inside us, where only you can be. No one else can be inside you except you… and God (the Spirit) who lives inside of us.”

At this point Ian said, “Yeah, he can get inside through our ears! Or, our nose! Unless… if we have a cold.” 🙂

(That was awesome.)

But I thought that was pretty neat. God in his three persons is as close as a brother, as a father, and even as ourselves as the Spirit, living inside us. I hadn’t ever though of that before. But we are the temple of the Holy Spirit, he is actually inside us. Our relationship with him is that intimate. No one else can be there. Just God.

Neat.

No super-amazing conclusion from all of this, just thought it was interesting enough to share. And, the line from Ian was classic. 🙂

Happy Easter, everyone.

Go Sabres! 🙂

by Greg

… and Alex

I told the story a day or two ago about Alex saying that Ian was not his brother anymore, so I would like to balance it with this little anecdote…

Ian was practicing his piano after lunch as I headed back up to the office. I stopped at the top of the stairs to leave a little note for Ian on his computer. I opened up a new page and in big font typed:

Hey Ian!
You’re a
great piano player!
And I love you! 🙂
Love, Dad

I haven’t heard yet if Ian has seen that, but when I went down for a little bathroom break just now, I noticed that the text had been slightly altered. It now reads:

Hey Ian!
You’re a
great piano player!
And I love you! 🙂
Love, Dadand alex

It’s subtle, so check again if you didn’t catch it the first time…

Alex apparently saw and read my note to Ian, and wanted to chime in that he agrees! 🙂 How awesome is that. First that Alex is such a good reader, but more importantly, that he loves Ian enough to add his name to a verbal pat on the back.

I love our kids! They are awesome. 🙂

by Greg

More Hospital Visits

(Sorry, this is kind of old news by now, but it has been very busy in the office so far this week, catching up from a week missed. I meant to post it the day it happened, but never got to it. Hopefully the many-days-old version is fairly accurate still…) 🙂

Just Can’t Get Enough…
Saturday morning I awoke fairly early (for a Saturday… for the Campbells) and snuck into the boys’ room to get Ian up so we could go help our friends dispose of some major tree parts they had stashed in their back yard. Grandma had come to stay for a few days with all of the events of the previous week, but Ian decided that since we were only going to be gone for a few hours, he could go with Dad and just spend the rest of the day with Grandma when we got back.

Boy, was he wrong.

We got to our friends’ house right around 9:30am. Right on time. They were just getting up and ready to tackle the branch moving project, with our help. All was going very much according to plan. Scott went to get the truck, while Ian and I did what we could in the yard to get ready to load the sticks in the truck when he got back. Leah, meanwhile, was busy making waffles for everyone in the kitchen. We’d surely get to them soon.

The first load went without a hitch. We piled up the pile in the back of the pickup and even had time to pick some pine cones from a nearby pine tree for a project Mom had earlier concocted. Ian neatly set them between some bushes, to retrieve once the work was complete. We piled in the vehicle (notice how many uses of the word “pile” are possible in one paragraph? Better not pile it on…) and headed to the unloading destination.

Again, without a hitch. Fast, easy, painless. We headed back for load #2.

This one was on the other side of the yard, so there was a bit of an adventure backing up to where the pile was. A small yard light paid the ultimate price in the process. It was survived by the rest of it’s luminescent kin. But all in all, things were still progressing as planned.

We began to load these more pesky branches into the truck. They were quite prickly, and difficult to manage as they were slightly larger than the previous batch, and also larger than the truck bed. Ian was still giving it his best though. He was just a little slower than on the last load.

Scott’s daughters slowly filtered out of the house, ready to help “the boys”. Leah peeked out as well and said that the waffles were ready if we wanted some. Scott decided that he wanted to finish this current load, and then we’d all have waffles. I kind of wanted a waffle right then – when they were hot – but, it was Scott’s project, so I was happy to follow his lead. Later, I would look back on that waffle invite and wish we had followed my taste buds…

Just a few moments later, I noticed Hannah was sort of “tending” to Ian. He was holding his eye, and in obvious discomfort. “Uh oh,” I thought, “He must have gotten poked in the eye.” So, I walked over and asked Ian what happened. Yes, he was poked by a stick. He said it stung. I asked him to let me see his eye. I wanted to see if a piece of a stick had stayed in there.

I was not prepared for what I saw.

Across the middle of Ian’s left eyeball were two large, clear gouges. A third smaller one was also visible in the middle of the other two, near the top of his eye. “Oh my!” I said. I just grabbed the back of Ian’s head and held him close and hugged him. I wasn’t sure what to do… it really looked like a permanent injury.

I remembered there was an immediate care center not 3 miles from their house. And, I thought I remembered that they were open till noon on Saturdays – it was only 10:30am or so! Nice! I told Scott I needed to take Ian there right away. We pretty much dropped everything and headed out immediately. Ian said his eye stung, and he couldn’t see anything out of that eye. It was all blurry. Poor Ian!!! 🙁

We rushed over to the Immediate Care place, only to find that they were NOT open on Saturdays! Our old doctor’s office is in that same building though (and they were open), so we went to see if they could possibly help him out in this obvious emergency.

No. They could not.

BUT, the receptionist did find it in her heart to send me 20 miles away to the nearest immediate care facility. 🙂 I said, “That’s really not the right direction.” But she insisted it would be faster than the hospital. So, I trusted her, and took her flyer that had the address of this new place on it… hoping we’d be able to find it.

Earlier that morning, as we were leaving, I grabbed a few items from my other pair of pants for this particular trip. My keys, even my wallet (which I had thought about leaving behind…) but not the cell phone. We only have a cell phone for long trips or for emergencies… I didn’t plan on either on this short trip, so I didn’t bring the phone. I would later rue that decision as well…

With no cell phone to alert our friends, I just decided I needed to help Ian ASAP, since he seemed to still be in a good deal of discomfort. And, growing more blind by the minute! I did break a few speed limits as I was navigating the back roads to this other immediate care place, but I figured I had a valid excuse. MY SON WAS GOING BLIND!!!

We finally got there at… um… actually I have no idea. I don’t have a watch either. 🙂 But, it was about a 20-25 minute drive. Found the place no problem, but when we walked through the doors, we noticed “the problem”.

EVERYONE decided today was the best day for an emergency.

The room was packed, but I figured we needed help, so I went up and signed us in. I filled out form after form after form. Ian was still just holding a cold washcloth over his closed left eye. He would take it off every once in a while so I could check his eye. I probably asked him for “status reports” about every 10 minutes. Probably even more often. 🙂 We passed the time that way, as well as watching the TV that was on (playing Mickey’s Christmas DVD) or just the many people who were in that tiny room.

The minutes passed VERY slowly. I attempted to find a pay phone to call Jen. No luck there. Patients were being called back about every FIFTEEN minutes. It was bad. Very, very bad. We waited, and waited… and WAITED. FInally, nearly an hour had passed and Ian’s periodic reports kept getting better. His eye kept looking a little better too. I started to think that maybe we had overreacted and this thing would fix itself with a few eye drops and a little time. So, I went up to the receptionist and sheepishly asked that she remove us from the queue. (We were second in line by then, so she was a bit puzzled, but gladly obliged as there was a room full of other patients who would happily take our spot!)

We made a quick exit and headed for the Target that was just around the corner from where we were. I figured we’d ask the pharmacist what eye drops we should use, or if we needed to do something else. They could certainly help, right?

We were pulling into the parking lot when I saw Rochester Optical in the same Target plaza!!! SURELY they could help us, right?!? They are an OPTICAL place, after all… So, we parked near there and hopped out and briskly walked up to the store.

I explained our situation to the solitary employee there that day. He was understanding, but basically let us know he couldn’t help us. He recommended we head to the nearest hospital (which is well over 30 miles from our home) and get Ian’s eye checked out for sure. I really wanted it to just be over (I was QUITE tired of being in hospitals and waiting rooms and doctors’ offices that week). But he was probably right.

Before we left, I asked if I could use his phone. He happily agreed and I was finally able to give Jen a call and fill her in on the adventure thus far. In my conversation with her, I decided my initial plan would be fine, so we ended up going to Target and buying the pharmacy’s recommended eye drops. We went straight to their public restroom and dropped some into Ian’s eye! (I made sure that there were no warnings about applying to deeply scratched eyeballs first…). Actually, it seemed to help. His eyes cleared up pretty quickly, so I was optimistic that our ordeal was over.

There is a Taco Bell at that plaza that we will patronize on occasion, so I asked Ian if he’d like a Taco. He excitedly said, “YES!!” So, Dad & Ian shared a little taco lunch. I made sure Ian didn’t get hot sauce, so that he didn’t inadvertently rub it into his eyes!!!! But even with that precaution, his eyes started stinging again, and I could see it getting red again. When we left the restaurant, I put more drops in his eye, and this time it stung, Ian said.

Looks like we’re headed to the hospital.

As we were driving there, I told Ian the story of his birth-day (which I hope to post here on this blog before his next birthday!). We were driving up that very same road, except Jen’s dad was driving at very high speeds. I told Ian what all of us were doing that day. It was a fun way to pass the time, and to reminisce.

It was not too long before we arrived at the hospital. We pulled in and looked for a good place to park. I was told they had a good opthalmology department, so actually, I was looking for that instead of the emergency entrance. We passed by that and drove around the campus. Everywhere we went, parking seemed nearly (or completely) inaccessible! It was crazy. We found the opthalmology place (by sheer, blind luck!) and tried a couple doors… but that’s where the luck ran out. I was parked in a 5 minute spot, so we went back around and just settled on the emergency entrance. BUT, it still took four or five tries to find a lot where we were authorized to park! Everything we found was for doctors or some other “authorized personnel”! Crazy!

Finally finding the entrance, we had to nagivate lots of strange hallways as the hospital is currently under some major remodeling construction work. We found an information desk and they pointed us in the right direction. I was very tired by now, and Ian’s eye continued to bother him and was still pretty red. My face was probably getting a little red (both from tiredness and frustration) but we pressed on. I figured we had to be kind of close!)

We reached the registration line for the emergency place and got in line. The lady behind the window took about a full minute to even acknowledge we were there (that was kind of strange) and without looking up said, “I’ll be with you in a minute”. Nice. More waiting. Finally, she said, “Can I help you?” I said, “I hope so…” and stepped up to the window. That’s where it got kind of nice… she asked if we were there for Ian, and when I said yes, she directed us over to a Pediatric Emergency area … where we walked right through to another registration desk.

When we stepped into that next area, a friendly girl greeted us and had us come right back to a room where she took Ian’s temperature and weight and other things… and very quickly assigned us to room two. Things were moving right along! That was a very nice moment in a long, loooong day.

Problem was, it turned out to only be a very brief moment.

We waited close to an hour – no, probably over an hour – until a doctor finally came in to see us. Actually, I was a bit startled, and puzzled, when the doctor finally did come in. My first thought was, “What’s she doing here?” I had forgotten at that point that someone was actually going to come and help us. I thought maybe we were just banished to this tiny room for all eternity I suppose… 🙂

We were not out of the woods just yet. She took a quick look at Ian’s eye (which had gotten much better by now) and then just left the room. Where did she go? No one might ever know… BUT, she came back and took us out to the hallway to do the eye chart thing. Ian’s good eye was 20/25 vision, his bad eye… was bad. About 20/50. I think that’s pretty bad. So, she went to get another doctor. When this doctor finally came, he put some strange iodine stuff in Ian’s eye (because I don’t think he could see the scratch either!) and then shone a cool black light on it. SURE ENOUGH there was a NASTY, long scratch right acrosss the middle of Ian’s pupil. A corneal abrasion, they said.

Things moved fairly quickly from there. They gave us some vaseline based goop to put in Ian’s eye 3 or 4 times a day until it got better. It was pretty strange to be sure, but it did help it heal. We got the stuff, the papers, and even a cool gift from some girls that were there giving out christmas presents to kids in the pediatric emergency wing that day! 🙂

When we got in the van, Ian and I were reliving the day a bit. I put on some music and we were talking, Ian from the back seat of course. After not five minutes, the replies stopped. I turned my head around and sure enough… Ian was asleep. 🙂 It was about a 45 minute trip home, so Ian got a nice, well-deserved nap to end an adventurous morning!

Now it’s almost a week later, and Ian’s eye has healed completely. How crazy is that!?? Our bodies (and maybe especially our eyes) are amazing. That was a really bad scratch that obviously affected his vision a lot… but now he’s completely back to normal. Just amazing.

So that was our day… and our week. We’ve managed to stay out of hospitals since last Saturday, and for that… I am very, very grateful. 🙂

by Greg

Vacation

Some of you reading this know that we have been on vacation for the past week. Now, all of you reading this know that. 🙂 It was a very different vacation in that we did not know where we would be spending it even up to the eve of the first day of the week off, and to some degree, most of the first day of vacating!

We ended up spending the first day of my week off at home, doing fun vacation-y things at home. But the phone and the office are too near, as is an abundance of household chores. (I ended up doing a good deal of laundry, dishes, cooking meals, and best of all, got to spend at least an hour fixing a clogged tub drain in our bathroom.) So, Jen said near the end of the first day, “We’re leaving tomorrow!”

Mainly (if not totally) due to financial concerns, we had cancelled our initial trip to Florida to visit with family. While the lodging was taken care of, and likely, most meals… the travel cost of just getting there was too high for us at the moment. So, our backup plan was to visit my sister for a portion of our week. They live in Washington, DC… Jen loves DC… it was Jen’s birthday weekend… seemed a perfect fit. So, we planned to take a leisurely trip down through PA to get to their place for the weekend… just staying at a few cheaper hotels along the way. Well, that too became out of our price range at the moment and so we scrapped that idea.

What we ended up doing was a modified version of plan B. A plan B-B, if you will. We only spent one night in a moderate hotel, and did a little tour of a couple Gettysburg historical sites on the way to visit with my sister’s fam down in DC. Then we spent the final two days of vacation back here at the humble abode. (And, since we did spend the time doing household chores on the first day of vacation, there were far fewer to do the past couple days. Also, people had learned that I actually was gone, and they needn’t call till I return, so the phone was less intrusive.)

I’m getting ahead of myself… let me back-track to Gettysburg.

Our son, Ian, is 7 years old and just quite simply a marvel to me. He is so interested in people that he read a book that I’d say was intended for middle-school minds (remember… he’s seven!) on the trip down to Gettysburg. We had read a story or two about G-burg before leaving, but mostly Ian did the research on his own. The book was a diary of one girl’s experiences in July of 1863 when the major battle at G-burg occurred. So, since Ian had read this story, the place was much more alive and had much more meaning to him. He was pointing out signs and street names and locations to us, “Hey! That was in my book!”

Basically… he was our tour guide. 🙂

We strolled the very ground where the crucial battle had taken place some 143 years prior. It was really very interesting and sobering to be standing there with cannons and battle lines and other things still in place. The story was very alive and real as we read the various plaques and memorials. Definitely going to make a return trip and spend more than a few hours there.

Our time in DC was packed full of time with my sister and family, which was really great. We also celebrated Jen’s birthday on Saturday. (Including a nice birthday dinner at Red Robin on Friday night!) We even got to spend most of Saturday with a good friend from high school and his family. The kids also got to do some trick-or-treating at the local businesses with their cousins. That was fun 🙂

Since we came home we spent some leisurely time around the house playing Tecmo Superbowl (among other electronic games), making and eating fun meals (like waffles!) and just enjoying being a family of six.

That reminds me… we also spent our vacation letting family and friends know that we are now expecting to be a family of seven by the end of May 2007. 🙂

We finished up the big 2006 vacation with a THREE HOUR trick-or-treat extravaganza in our own town of Palmyra, NY. We have not yet done that (so far, we have trick-or-treated in Florida, California, Vermont twice, and a few other locations across the country), so we had a great time visiting friends, meeting new neighbors and just being in our own town. And we did get quite a haul of candy!!

The kids were Buffalo sports reps. Ian was a Buffalo Sabre in classic blue and gold attire. Alex was a Buffalo Bill: Drew Bledsoe, to be precise. Kirstie was a Buffalo Jill. We even had the face paint! Oh! Even Julia was dressed in her little Buffalo Bills outfit from Grammy. So, she was a cheer leader too. 🙂

It was a great night. It was a great vacation. Why am I up at 2:15 you ask? Well, I spent two hours straightening up our finances (reconciling our accounts, paying bills, filing receipts, etc).. and then just felt the urge to blog. Last day of vacation… I’m milking it. 🙂

Hopefully I return to the office tomorrow refreshed and recharged. There’s a lot on my plate already… so it will be tough, but I hope the time away will give me a renewed capacity to deal with all the challenges and to enjoy the work God has given me to do. I am definitely blessed.

Beyond how God provides for our family… I am blown away by how blessed I am to have the wife I have, and the four (and soon five) great kids we have. Can’t say it any better than that.

So… we’re back! Here we go again!