Tag / Human Nature

by Greg

Darkness

You know, this world is ugly. Really ugly. I don’t know if my heightened awareness of this is due to my reading The Screwtape Letters again, or maybe just the mood I’m in, or the correlated ongoing state of frequently feeling so depleted…

Or maybe this is just how it is.

The hatred spewed from mouths of many, directed at their perceived enemies; the gorging of gluttony, the never-satisfied, ever-increasing pursuit of fulfilling lusts; rampant, uncontrolled greed, at the uncaring expense of a neighbor, no, all neighbors; and just the general devaluing of ourselves and everyone around us that can lead to all kinds of abuses, including sexual abuse of young girls.

I have young girls. Some stories I have read lately simultaneously turn my stomach, and anger me greatly. It’s really awful how disgustingly we can treat each other. My words here are not strong enough.

I deeply wish—often—that my kids did not have to grow up in and be part of this world. But they are. They do.

So it’s true then, what Paul said about us, while quoting some Old Testament scriptures:

“No one is righteous—
    not even one.
No one is truly wise;
    no one is seeking God.
All have turned away;
    all have become useless.
No one does good,
    not a single one.”
“Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave.
    Their tongues are filled with lies.”
“Snake venom drips from their lips.”
    “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”
“They rush to commit murder.
    Destruction and misery always follow them.
They don’t know where to find peace.”
    “They have no fear of God at all.”

There’s a whole bunch more from the first chapter of Romans. Listen to this paragraph:

Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.

But I love what Paul follows that with, saying directly after that:

You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things.

It’s awful dangerous when we notice the darkness of other people, but forget to acknowledge our own.

The world is ugly, because we are ugly.

I have not been personal witness to some of the ugliest things that one might encounter in this world. (Like murder, sexual abuse, and similar horrible, awful things we do to each other.) I think this helps me to maintain a false distance from the grotesque darkness of us. Of me. Thankfully, and so graciously, Jesus continues to build in me the desires that match his, and my inner light shines brighter with his resident spirit inside me—but I am far from perfect. I know darkness inside me, too.

But thanks be to God, our savior, through Jesus Christ our lord.

Yes. And we do have the victory, we’re “more than conquerors” … that just seems so far off sometimes.

Sounds like I need a good read through the book of Romans. What a great overview of the world as it is, through God’s eyes, and how it will be redeemed.

Boy do we need it.

Remember that Jesus is the light. Stick close to him, through whatever darkness you are in, or may find yourself in. He will walk through it with you.

Philippians 2:13
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

2 Peter 1:2-7
May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord.

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.

In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.

by Greg

Rhythms

The Screwtape Letters: With Screwtape Proposes a ToastThere is a definite cyclical rhythm to life. At least, there is in mine.

I am a creator. I enjoy creating things. I work with words, images, colors and designs, even code and systems. I also create with food, and a few other physical mediums. And I love to create with imagination. (Bedtimes with my kids are usually quite entertaining!)

And I love to create here. Words flesh out thoughts, which often interact with each other creating further thoughts, which beget further words about thoughts. It’s a rewarding and interesting cycle all to itself.

Then there is the longer part of the cycle. This part occurs at a slower pace, gradually, over longer cycles; months, even years.

As a creative sort, I often find that one season will be full of creating, whilst another will seem devoid of new work—but that is because I am on the other side of that cycle: intake.

I’ve written about it here before. (Numerous times besides that post, I’m sure.)

And today’s post will highlight the same.

I actually finished up yesterday a bunch of books I’ve been reading over the past weeks and months. With a serious increase in daily output here since June of this current calendar year, I’ve been in output mode, churning out words more than taking in.

But the intake has not ceased. (See here.) And in fact, I am detecting that it’s now on the increase.

I’ve been feeling what could almost be described as a need for more reading time, again. My library account has been active. I’ve purchased a book or two. (Gotta love library book sales! Am I right??) And there are plenty of free options (public domain, etc.) via electronic book distributors.

Have a look at this list of books on my “currently reading” list (available here)

currently reading

Yes. I am currently, whenever I sit down to read, cracking open each of those books at whatever point I am into them. Really!

(Yes. You are also correct that… I’m a bit whacko.)

We’ve also been enjoying reading chunks of the Bible together as a family. We’re slowly working through Acts together, and last week we took an evening to read through the book of Philippians in one sitting. (Highly recommend you giving that a try, too. Such an encouraging text!)

It’s good to enjoy each cycle. To intake when that is needed, and churn out when in the output cycle.

Output may slow here a bit in this cycle, but the rhythm will flow back to output soon enough.

Last thing for today: the word rhythms was used so beautifully in Eugene Peterson’s translation of Matthew 11:28-30. Enjoy, and remember to keep in rhythm with your (our) father.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

by Greg

Forward

sun

Forward never stops. The next moment forces itself upon you whether or not you’re ready to leave the current one behind. And then again, without asking, there is another moment stepping in to replace its predecessor.

The sun rises, travels across our sky, and sets every day. The seasons advance relentlessly, reliably.

There is comfort in this unceasing cycle. Comfort, awe, helplessness, and a perspective-inducing, throw-up-your-hands sense of irrelevance.

Time marches relentlessly forward. We hold to the past… and we try to flee it. But it really doesn’t matter. We are compelled to move forward. I would posit that we might do better when we move with the natural rhythm of life, but then the realization that whether or not we comply, forward we go.

Thus, whenever we do hold on to our past, we are really ignoring reality.

If our past mistakes—be they small, numerous, or large, injurious—render us incapable of living now, free, able to experience life, and even joy…

If our past victories—again, large and well-known, or small, frequent, even unknown to others—are constant reminders of where we’d rather be, or even who we’d rather be…

If hurt—even deep, scarring, wounding, killing hurts—in our past fill our hearts, minds, bodies with life-drawing sadness, yearning for what was, and could have been…

We are trapped in an existence that time has simply altered, and continues, relentlessly, to further alter.

The good news here is that with this irrepressible forward motion, there is always new, always hope. I believe this is the “gospel” message. No matter what you’ve done, or who you’ve been (“good” or “bad”) we move forward. You are accepted, loved, even cherished, sought after. Time moves us forward. No grudges, no lists of wrongs… forward.

There are always consequences for actions (and inactions) in the Forward. That is part of its nature, too. Something done, or left undone, in this moment comes to fruition in the next—consequence.

But grace is in the next moment Forward.

“And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins.” —Jeremiah 31:34

We can not change anything that has already happened. We usually can’t repeat it, either.

Certainly there is value in cherishing the good from our past, and learning from the bad, but forward we must go. There is no other option, really.

Forward never stops.

As a point of curiosity from me, what did you first see in the photo above? Is it a beautiful sunset? Or a sunrise? I am regularly fascinated by how our mindset shapes the world we perceive. Not that a sunset is any less forward than a sunrise, but one is generally considered a “closing” and the other a “beginning” … hope, versus a lack of hope? Again… just curious. And maybe incorrect. 🙂

by Greg

No Guarantees

My Taylor GuitarToday is a musical post.

In a former life, I was a musician. It’s true! I broke out the recording gear for this song, and when my youngest two children discovered its presence in my office they were pleasantly astounded. I confessed to them that their mom & dad used to be something akin to rockstars. This made them giggle and smile even more. They’re fun.

This type of post will be rare here. I just recently rediscovered this song, penned last October, and really wanted to share it here. The audio is just me and a guitar (with a tiny bit of reverb in GarageBand) … but it should help get the point across.

Enjoy.

No Guarantees

©2012 Greg Campbell

There are no guarantees in this world

We can not manipulate it
Though we often try to fake it

We are not the ones who made it
But maybe we made it …This way

Don’t try to anticipate it
We never see clearly up ahead

Today has enough trouble of its own
No need to add on tomorrow’s or yesterday’s
We have no guarantee of our next breath
Let alone a day, let alone a day

We have no guarantee that we’ll not know pain
It’s almost certainty that there’ll be some today

It seems my dreams nev’r come true

The more I hope for it, seems
The less hope there is

I see everything so clearly
But clearly, I just can’t see

Why things go so poorly
What have you got against me?

I may fail at everything, and I may never be loved
My life may crumble around me … there are no guarantees

To listen to and purchase Greg & Jen’s music, please visit http://basicmusic.bandcamp.com.

by Greg

Winning Is All That Matters!

Wins and Losses

Are you a sports fan? Do you enjoy participating in competition, or just watching other compete? There is often tension, drama, emotional highs and lows, and plenty of excitement. And in the end, there is a winner, and a loser. (Unless a draw is an option for the final outcome in the particular sport of choice.)

The outcome is usually the way we judge a game. Did you win? You were the best team out there! Did you lose? Tough break. They were better. If it’s a league, where you’re tracking your wins and losses, chalk one up in the loser column for you and your team.

I’ve always thought this was such a strange way to judge effort, ability, and even the result of a particular contest. First, there are so many things that go into a win or a loss, and often a couple bounces or calls that were a hair’s breadth from going the opposite way may have determined that final outcome. So did the better team win? Or, were they just lucky?

Honestly, it’s often a toss up—and can even be well argued that the better team ended with fewer points.

And yet, we even champion the phrase, “Winning is all that matters!”

Bottom line is, that’s true. The way we have set things up is based on wins and losses. The ultimate champion in any sports league—the best team—is the one who outlasts all the others by winning. It doesn’t matter if it’s ugly, if the other team was better, or if they win by dominating their opponent—just win.

You don’t even have to win all of your games! The NY Giants won the Super Bowl a few years ago, after “sneaking” into the playoffs. In what might have been considered a sub-par season (9-7 overall, they were 7-7 after week 15!) they beat the New England Patriots (whom many considered a far superior team, for many reasons) … and THEY are the Champions.

Just because they won the right games, at the right times.

It’s funny to me, actually; how much emphasis we place on the final outcome. I don’t have an alternative, though. What else could you base it on? Everything else is simply subjective, based on opinion more than a measurable actuality. But still, there’s so much “luck” involved, and we base so much value, or “worth” on these ‘W’s and ‘L’s.

I think I may be more understanding of this as a fan of the Buffalo Bills. Did you know that this NFL franchise has not collected enough wins in any of the past thirteen seasons to advance to the post season playoffs? Thirteen! They have a record of 82-126 over that span of years. A win percentage of thirty-nine percent. That’s really incredible. I’ve watched most of those individual contests, and while it’s not really fair to say they “should” have won any of those games that they lost, there certainly were dozens that could have been flipped to wins by just one or two timely plays going the other way (and those plays being just a bad bounce, or a fraction of an inch from doing just that!)

And so, our team and its fans continue to be the butt of many a football joke. Just because of a few plays.

Overall, this usually is a good measurement. Those teams were not very good. But they weren’t maybe as bad as the W/L record would suggest. Nor are the winners necessarily as “good” as their record suggested. And yet, they are lauded as the best.

This is not a sour grapes post. 🙂 Yesterday my Bills won on a last second touchdown, in a hard-fought, back-and-forth game where either team could have won—and maybe the Carolina Panthers “deserved” the win even more. (Or at least, as much as the Bills.)

But the Bills won. They are 1-1. They feel better about themselves. Just because they finished with one more point. (Thanks to a penalty, and a few other beneficial moments.)

In the previous week, the Bills may have actually been the “better” team, but they lost. There were dropped passes, bad calls, penalties (which were correctly called) and in the end, the Bills lost on a last minute field goal.

I still say, wins and losses are a funny way to gauge the overall worth or ability of a team.

I guess that’s just a strange part of “sport”. In the end, winning is probably not all that matters. At least, not to me. Playing hard, good sportsmanship (whether winning or losing), competition, dealing with adversity, and just the enjoyment of physical activity and exertion… leaving everything on the field, as they say—all of these are great parts of sport, win or lose.

A famous quote, attributed to Thomas Edison, reminds us that winning and losing may not be the best measurement of any particular outcome:

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that will not work.1

So I contend that whether your final result is a win or a loss, the ‘W’ or ‘L’ does not determine the worth of you, or your team, or even your effort on that occasion. People say there are “moral victories” (meaning you can take something good from a loss) and then others strongly object, saying there are NO moral victories. Wins are all that matters. That’s just silly … it’s a GAME! So many things go into it, and the final result can go either way. That’s what makes it fun!

Enjoy the competition. Play hard, win or lose. And even enjoy watching and cheering for your team, win or lose.

We Bills fans certainly know how to do the latter! 🙂

  1. Note: This quote is interesting. I found several versions of it, usually differing on the number of failures (700, 1,000, and 10,000 being most common). But also the subject of the failure differed at times (battery storage vs. the carbon filament for light bulbs) and also there was some stated doubt regarding the attribution to Edison at all! Interesting. ↩
by Greg

Factors

Julian Beever street art - julianbeever.net

Things are definitely not always what they appear to be.

You’ve heard the maxim, “Don’t judge a book by its cover” and “Things aren’t always what they seem”. Also, Jesus said, “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.”

And don’t forget, “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.”

(Wait. Scratch that last one…)

I am often rash to judge. Are you? Maybe it’s part of my personality. I quickly assess situations and make judgments based on those assessments. I’m a very fast decision maker. This is obviously a good thing when I’m ordering a meal at a restaurant, or when I am leading a group of people (like our tribe of eight) in any organized activity. Quick judgment and decision making can be helpful.

But it’s not always helpful when we are quick to judge.

The other day I was walking out of a store, my mind on seven other things, and I was rather oblivious of my surroundings. I failed to hold the door for people behind me, and though no one was injured by the lack of awareness, I was dismayed by my inconsiderate action. (Or rather, inaction.)

I wondered if they were angry at my rude treatment. I can’t believe he just ignored us! He could have waited one more second! Probably not. They likely did not even notice. (Sadly, it’s not commonplace to show such courtesies to others these days.) But if they did think these things, they were not entirely correct. I was not only distracted by busyness… as I recall, there were some heavy things on my heart. Had anyone who quickly judged my actions as rude, thoughtless, uncaring been privy to the reason for my actions, they likely would have judged much differently.

That’s the thing, isn’t it? We can’t know everything. We simply can not.

There is SO much going on around you. Why did that driver just cut me off? Where is that payment that was promised? Why is that job not finished? Why did she say that!? Why is he looking at me like that? I can’t believe they didn’t call!

Often we quickly pronounce judgement upon people—especially those closest to us—without a fair trial; without any trial! We unconsciously become prosecutor, jury, and judge, with no defense attorney, nor any sort of case presented at all!

Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?” —Matthew 7:1-3

There are always factors. Sometimes we are informed after the fact and that assuages previous (wrongly held) anger, based on incorrect judgment. Other times we don’t learn more. That doesn’t mean that we are right to judge.

We can not ever know all the factors behind another’s decisions or actions. Not any one of us.

Another slightly humorous example of things not always being what they appear occurred this past weekend, while I was cooling off after a run. I was reading from the book of Mark on our iPhone as I cooled down, and I was walking around the driveway as I did because I wanted to keep my muscles moving. I realized that it must look pretty silly, me being so engrossed in my phone that I can’t even look up to see where I am walking. Someone passing by, with only a few seconds to make a judgment, might perceive me much as I did those people in line at Starbucks, no?

Hmm. Perhaps I should heed my own, “don’t-rush-to-judgement” advice?

To me, the moral of this story is:

JUST DON’T JUDGE. STOP IT! DON’T DO IT!!!!!

Obviously, we need to use our brains to discern right and wrong, and even quickly, or under duress. This is a good thing, judgement.

But maybe the lesson is that we don’t need to judge what other people are doing, so long as it does not involve us at all. And if it does somehow touch upon our lives, maybe we can err on the side of grace seventy times seven times?

There is one judge, and he’s not me. I think I like it that way.

God help me to live peacefully by my own words here, and remember that there are always, always more factors than I can possibly perceive.

And may these things be true of us, as much as we are able:

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! —Romans 12:10-16

That photo at the top of this post is from julianbeever.net. Lots of really cool 3D street art there. Amazing!

by Greg

Smart Phones, Not Smart?

Smart phones

Is it possible for smart phones to not be smart? Or is that up to us, and the way we employ them?

Recently I had the opportunity to visit a Starbucks for a “Venti Chai Latte, no water” (my typical order) on not just one occasion, but three consecutive days! The combination of our son attending a hockey camp, the convenience of a Starbucks location right on my main route home, and credit enough on a Starbucks card registered to me to cover three beverages—all created the perfect storm scenario. (To which I happily succumbed.)

Now, I realize that there is a certain ‘culture’ that surrounds Starbucks. Be it a Seattle-esque culture, or some other subset of American life (though it’s maybe so prevalent that it is no longer deserving of the ‘sub-‘ prefix?) one is generally not surprised by the clientele encountered upon entering any of these establishments. I was not aware, however, that part of this culture includes the necessity of owning—and holding/using—a so-called ‘smart phone’.

Upon entering this particular Starbucks, located in a retail-heavy area near several colleges and universities, I was struck by the fact that every person in a line comprised of about a dozen people was holding, and actively using one of these ‘smart phones’.

Every one!

There were several iPhones, along with a few other varieties. Apple’s device was the predominant choice. Every single patron was flicking their fingers along the tiny screens, transfixed, focused upon and interacting with touch sensors and light diodes—and mostly not interacting with the others around them, though there was one “regular” with whom the staff jovially conversed.

In the interest of full disclosure, I also walked into the shop, iPhone in hand, at the ready.1 🙂

Upon realizing the fullness of this cultural reality, however, I did return my phone to its designated pants pocket.

Slightly taken aback, I wondered how we’d gotten here. How have we allowed technology to so consume us? Every moment that we are not actively doing something else, we are engaging our technology. There are certainly many ways in which our technology does connect us to people, or allow us to be productive in our work or hobbies, but it almost feels as though we’re to the point where many of us are not ‘OK’ without it.

Doesn’t it?

Maybe it’s just the ‘Starbucks crowd’. But I don’t think so.

I saw a video not long ago that presents this disconnection from reality that our ‘smart’ phones have allowed us to … enjoy? It is very short, maybe even poignant.

I Forgot My Phone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OINa46HeWg8?rel=0

I’m not saying smart phones will be the end of us, but doesn’t the video above portray—a bit too accurately, too vividly—what we are becoming?

Perhaps we need to put the ‘smart’ back in our smart phones, and relegate them to their times and purposes. (And disconnect from them all the rest of the time.)

That sounds smart to me.

  1. There is an app on the phone for Starbucks that allows you to not only view a balance on a Starbucks card, but you can actually pay using the phone. With one or two taps, the screen displays a barcode that can be scanned at the store, completing your purchase! Fun. Practical. And many of the folks there were prepping their phones for this purpose. ↩
by Greg

Imitation: The Highest Form of Flattery [Memory Lane]

Each Thursday in August we continued the trip down Memory Lane—a feature that began the last week of July. I re-posted some of my all-time favorite stories that I’ve published here as part of celebrating ten years of blogging—August 2003 to August 2013. Some posts were taken from my published books, and others (like today’s) have only been published online thus far. You’ll find stories that are funny, stories that are sad, and several heart-warming moments from the life we’ve lived. If you missed any, you can use the series navigation at the end of this post to read more. I invite you to enjoy these moments from the journey with me, too.

The final installment of the Memory Lane series is a bonus for this Labor Day Monday. In our family, Labor Day weekend is reserved for a family reunion—as many of Jen’s family as are able gather at the home of the patriarch and matriarch of the family. There are plenty of visits to Memory Lane during these reunions, to be sure!

Today’s post features some great moments from the Campbell kids. There are many frustrating moments as a parent, but there are also many melt-your-heart moments. These were a couple of the latter kind. I was humbled when this happened, and it gets to me every time I read it.

This is just beautiful. Enjoy.

Imitation: The Highest Form of Flattery

February 8th, 2012

Tonight at the dinner table, our youngest boy—who bears a good deal of physical resemblance to his Daddy—was particularly tuned in to my every move. He was watching (and mimicking) everything that I did. When I leaned forward onto my elbows to rest my head in my hands and wipe the tired of the recent past from my face, so did Cam. Whichever way I moved, just about any posture I assumed, Cam followed to near perfection.

It didn’t take me long to notice, and when I did, well, I was certainly heartened by his quite evident love for his me, his Dad.

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, and I guess maybe “they” are right.

Paul also said that the people whom he introduced to Jesus should “imitate [him] as [he] imitate[s] Christ”. That thought came to my mind, and I hope that’s just as easy for them to see and to follow as my physical motions at the table.

The best part was when, once he knew that I knew he was imitating me—though for this moment, I had momentarily forgotten—I moved my dish aside, being done with my food. Moments later, Cameron moved his dish in front of me. Typically, when this happens it means he’s refusing to eat more (even though he probably still should). However, once I saw where he had placed it, it was exactly the same amount to his right as I had placed my dish! 🙂

Still makes my face and heart smile as I recall and type the story here. Such a sweet boy.

In truth, it happens quite often, the imitating. More than I’d like. Often I’m quite glad for it, and I hope that it continues. But other times it’s too revealing. It can be unpleasant to hear the way your tone returns to your ears through the mouth of your biggest 2-year-old fan. But, a mirror can also be your best friend. I am thankful for the mirror that my kids can be for me.

Firstborn son, Ian, is more like me than I admit at times. He is creative, talented, gregarious, frequently charming, and also stubborn, confident to the point of arrogance, and often unteachable. At times, I am like all of that, too—the good and the bad.

During a recent clash of our similar personalities, where I felt (maybe incorrectly) that I needed to press Ian on his apparently unteachable/rebellious position or attitude toward me at that moment, I asked, “Ian, what is going on? Why are you being like this right now? Why do you have no humility at all?” He quickly responded, “I really have a hard time being humble!”

Slightly taken aback by his astute observation and open admission, I paused, but only slightly.

Though there was only a slight moment in which Ian’s words were allowed to resonate, his sister, Kirsten—more than five years his younger—managed to slip in the kindest, and perhaps most profound words of encouragement recently spoken in our home.

“That was humble, Ian.”

The kindness and pure, caring heart revealed both by her choice of words and her delivery of them, as well as the depth of understanding of the concept of humility that was evidenced by her quick assessment is overwhelming to me. In the midst of what had been a very draining, tense, frustrating series of moments for me (and everyone else, I think) she spoke such words of life that I had to encourage her, “Kirstie, I think those were the wisest, kindest words I’ve heard spoken here today. Thank you.”

There is beauty in our brokenness. In the moments where we are weak we can be lifted up. Either by someone else who is somehow less weak for that moment, or by God himself whose grace makes us strong, even—especially?—when we are weak. Sometimes the truth of that is revealed in the words, from the heart, of a seven year old girl, or by the actions of a two year old boy.

I hope that I am mostly characterized by a love and grace—toward my kids (and wife) directly, as well as toward every person that I might interact with—that overflows from the Life I have in me in Jesus. I am not him, and I can not be perfect. I will choose poorly, I will fail. But even in my brokenness, I hope that my kids will get to follow my example as I follow Jesus. Even in the way that I handle the images I see in the mirror: be they glass, or flesh.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Perhaps children are the highest form of imitation.

This day, I am so thankful for the mirrors God has given me.

Bible references above are from 1 Corinthians 11, and 2 Corinthians 12.

by Greg

Thankful [Memory Lane]

Each Thursday in August we’ll be taking a trip down Memory Lane! I will be posting some of my favorite stories ever published here, part of celebrating ten years of blogging—August 2003 to August 2013. Some posts are taken from books, and others (like today’s) have only been published online thus far. You’ll read stories that are funny, stories that are sad, and several heart-warming moments from the life we’ve lived. If you missed any, you can use the series navigation at the end of this post to read more. I invite you to enjoy these moments from the journey with me, too.

You’ll probably notice, reading through these Memory Lane posts, that my kids are a very important part of my life. I love being a Dad, despite the challenges, hard moments, hard weeks. As I mentioned in the previous post, it’s pretty amazing how much I learn from the kids (seems like it would be vice versa, no?)

This story was of another hard day that became so beautiful, just by being grateful.

Thankful

July 12th, 2011

There are days that it’s incredibly hard to see the good side. Where you’re so completely overwhelmed by the crushing weight of sadness, or failure, or just plain pain that you can’t see a way out of and seems it will never end.

For whatever reason, we’ve had more than our share of those around here lately.

But last night as I was putting the four youngest kids in bed, for some reason I decided to start (quite randomly) naming things that I was thankful for. “Thank you for Mom… and for (insert sibling name here)…” was how I began. Then I began just literally saying any word that came to mind. Some things I saw around their room, or then any related item or word. It quickly exploded into a fun game of who can think of the most random thing to be thankful for!

And the neat thing was, it worked.

The kids were not that excited to go to bed last night, but that little exercise lightened their hearts, and perhaps enlightened mine.

I found it was easy to rattle off all sorts of “good” things that we can be thankful for. Stars, trees, the sun, the moon, Grandmas & Grandpas, other friends we love, books, paper, paint, carpet, air conditioning, and so on. So I began intentionally thinking of “bad” things. (Or at least, weird things to be thankful for.)

“Thank you for toilets. For bottoms. For toilet paper.” Emma (our three-year old) picked right up on that, “Thank you for pee pee… AND poo poo!” And then I actually made myself say, “Thank you for HOT days.” (Reasoning in my mind that, though I loathe and detest the heat, I do love a good, juicy tomato … and they rather enjoy hot days.)

This seemed to work for all of the kiddos from the youngest (just about 2) who would grunt his approval with a little, “mmm hmm” after every word or phrase I’d say, to the room full of his three sisters all spitting out random words as fast as they were able to fit them in. It really was incredible!

One Thousand Gifts by Ann VoskampIt made me think of a book that Jen asked me to read, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. Jen reads her blog, and so decided to purchase her book, and was challenged (in a good way) to try to change her perspective on life, as Ann has tried to do. It’s kind of a “glass half-full vs glass half-empty” idea, but a bit different. Her challenge was just to write down 1,000 things that you are thankful for. A few each day.

I think we may have hit about 400 last night alone! 🙂

There are so many things that we can be thankful for. It really just depends on your perspective. If you can come at life looking for goodness, you’ll often (usually) find it. If you’re expecting bad, you’ll usually end up there.

So maybe try it tonight. Putting kids to bed… after they are in bed… on your way home from work… just let you brain bounce from one thing to the next and speak it out, “Thank you for _____.” Not just things that God directly gave us, necessarily, but think about the things that are part of our everyday lives, and how they help us. We really do take much of life “for granted”, as they say. Doing so lifted my spirits last night, and four other tiny spirits.

Perhaps it can lift yours, tonight, too.

by Greg

What Motivates You?

Lacking motivation?

I currently feel very unmotivated. I am banging my head against so many metaphorical walls … and I’m not even making a dent. I’m juggling too many things, being pulled in too many directions, and not feeling any level of success in anything that I am setting out to do. Only failure, or what feels like failure.

What keeps you going? Why do you get out of bed in the mornings?

Or do you not?

I’m still moving. Pressing on. (Maybe running on the treadmill—or the hamster wheel—is a better analogy, but I am still moving.)

But I’m having to really stop and think about why. What is my motivation.

To be honest, partly it’s money. I need to earn money to buy the things our family needs. I need to pay off debts. I would love to make money to save for things we want, or want to do. That is certainly part of my daily motivation.

But that, in itself, is hollow, empty.

I love my family. I love to do things with and for them. That motivates me, but much of my day is spent doing things to earn money for our family, so I don’t get to spend as much time with my family as I’d like. (That’s certainly not my own private lament—I’d say most parents who work feel that lacking in their lives.) My love for them is certainly one of my motivations in life.

And definitely obligation, or a sense of duty will push me through when I’d just rather not. When I know my kids are counting on me, or my wife, or maybe even someone else, I will eke out the physical or emotional will power needed to accomplish whatever needs to be done.

Those are some of the things that can move me when I need moving. There are certainly a few more.

Personal comfort is a big one for me. I am VERY motivated to get those air conditioners cleaned up and locked in place when the first hot weather begins to roll in on us. I do not do well in heat and humidity! And… let me tell you, if there’s an offensive odor somewhere nearby, it doesn’t matter how tired I am, I will eliminate it!

Speaking of eliminating… what about when you really, really have to “go”, and there’s not a bathroom within 10 miles? When “nature calls” we can be pretty good at finding our motivation!

Jen knows a kind of personal comfort motivation, too. She doesn’t like pain; any physical discomfort will cause her to seek any way possible to remedy her situation. This includes hunger. She knows that the well-being of everyone around her depends on her not being hungry! Our physical appetites can certainly motivate us—food, drink, sex, even our pride, and desire for acceptance. These motivations can grow so strong that they become addictions.

Personal comfort is certainly a strong motivator.

Another one for me, somewhat related to personal comfort—in an oxymoronic, paradoxical kind of way—is healthiness. I have been walking most of this calendar year, and eating fresh, good food (and less of it) as many meals as I am able. It was something I really wanted to do for my body, and for my family (so I could be more “here”). There is some part that is “duty”-oriented to this motivation, but also, I do enjoy the quiet time alone, and I feel lighter, more alert—less heavy—and just much better, overall.

And of course, the law is another powerful motivation. Not sure if I’d wear seat belts, or restrain myself from using the cell phone while driving, or give the government-funded school system a detailed report of what we are teaching our kids unless I was compelled to by the laws and codes of our various governments.

But the apostle Paul said:

“For the love of Christ controls and urges and impels us…”—2 Cor. 5:14 (AMP)

And also:

“And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.”—Colossians 3:17

So then, love is our motivator. God’s love for us, and for everyone. And being a representative of Jesus—always, gratefully.

I think King Solomon, wisest man to ever live, asked these same questions, pondered these same thoughts. You may already be familiar with his conclusion, even if you don’t attribute it to him:

“Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher, “completely meaningless!” —Ecclesiastes 1:2

Really. Read Ecclesiastes when you’re feeling aimless, directionless, lacking motivation—it’ll pick ya right up!

So I became greater than all who had lived in Jerusalem before me, and my wisdom never failed me. Anything I wanted, I would take. I denied myself no pleasure. I even found great pleasure in hard work, a reward for all my labors. But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless—like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere.

(The entire book is this repeating theme of the meaninglessness of everything in life, good and bad. Truly a fascinating read!)

I have no answers. I still feel mostly unmotivated in life. It’s like much of my effort is not worth the effort—it will not have its desired effect, if I am even sure of what that is. I hope God will illuminate me, personally, in that regard. But perhaps he won’t. I know my ultimate motivation—reason for moving—is him. That’s it. Keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. Stay connected to him, the Vine.

That, I know.

But what motivates you? Where do you find reason for your efforts? Impetus for your actions? Why try when our world is so, SO messed up? What does it matter?

Everything is meaningless.

I’d so love to hear your response. Please comment below and let’s do encourage one another with the things that move each of us—great or small—to get out of bed, and carry out a day… and even to do things that move the planet.

What motivates you?