Tag / Funny Stories

by Greg

Running Out

GasLately I have been running several things dry. First it was my own body, falling asleep during a BILLS GAME almost instantly, with no recollection of the “nodding off” part. Just complete, immediate shut down. Then today I had a couple more incidents…

First, on returning from our friends house, the van started acting like it was running out of gas. I checked our gauge, and we should have been fine, according to that. However, our gauge is broken, so we use the computer in the van that helps you figure out gas used, and since I had only filled up with about 15 gallons the previous time, we were in fact empty, without me knowing it.

We ran out of gas right in the middle of an intersection, but made it through OK. We stopped right in front of a house, so I went to see if they could just give us enough gas to get to a pretty nearby gas station. They could, and they did… and we were on our way. Putting 25 gallons of gas in our van when we did reach the fueling station. 🙂

Then just now, I was typing a quick post for the Buffalo Bills Review site, and my laptop just instantly shut down. Turns out the battery was low, but the warning did not kick in. So, I forgot to keep checking the remaining batter, and it just shut everything down. (Thankfully, blogger does a good job of auto-saving everything, and I didn’t have much more to type 😉

Well, now that I have told the story, I better shut this computer down, and lay down before I just fall asleep right here and now! Fewer sudden shut downs, or drying up of the fuel would be better….

by Greg

Quick Kirstie Story

This morning, 3-year-old Kirsten joined Dad and the boys for our morning Bible reading. We are near the end of the book of Luke, and Jesus is getting people riled up – almost the time that they killed him. Which also happened to be Passover, when they kill lambs.

I read the words, “The day had come for the Festival of Thin Bread, and it was time to kill the Passover lambs.” Immediately, Kirstie responded, “Oh no!” A seriously concerned look came over her face. Why were they going to kill lambs???

I smiled and tried to explain old testament sacrifices, and even how Jesus was the Lamb of God… and the cool significance there. But I think it might have all been lost on the disturbing thoughts of those bad guys actually killing the Passover lambs!!!

🙂

by Greg

Ice Cream Record Books?

I have noticed recently that my 31 straight days of ice cream in the month of July was not really that hard to do. Without really trying, I have added now 19 more days to that total (and maybe a few more from before!)

On July 4th I told some friends that I wanted to eat ice cream every day for National Ice Cream Month (July) and one friend was incredulous that I had already had ice cream four days in a row. “I’ve never done that!” said he.

I now officially have more than a dozen times over. 🙂

I’ll let you know when I miss a day.

by Greg

Hot Stuff!

Last night Jen and I went downstairs to our basement game table to play a game and spend a little time together after the kids went to bed. It was fun! We played a crazy card game called Charge It! where the point of the game it to rack up as much credit card debt as quickly as you can… WITHOUT looking at what you are putting on it!! Ha! Awesome!

So, first we just got to chat a bit… then broke out the game… played for a while…

And it was just about an hour later, as we were coming up the stairs that I remembered the pot of hot water I had put on for tea just before heading downstairs!!

The paint on the bottom of the teapot had begun to be burned through. When I tried to lift it off of the burner, it was STUCK to it! Ha! So we poured water in and everything was just fine. No house fire that day!

Unfortunately though, I do need a new tea pot. 🙂

by Greg

The Fake God

Kirstie's Fake GodJen took Kirstie over to spend the night with some friends (which ended up getting canceled due to a sudden bout with tummy trouble!) and on the way over here’s how the conversation went…

“God is far away,” Kirstie stated matter of factly.

“Actually, he’s right here with us,” Mom replied. “God is very close.”

“No, not the real God,” she clarified, “I mean the fake god.”

“The fake god?” asked Mom.

“The white God, in the white building!”

If you drive past the Hill Cumorah visitor center, on the way to our house (we must pass this at least 3 or 4 times a week I’d guess?) you’ll see a bright, white, shining Jesus with arms outstretched. We always say hello to “Jesus” as we drive by. But, “He’s not the real Jesus,” we clarify.

Guess Kirstie picked up on that. 🙂

by Greg

Center Stage

Today as I was running an errand or two around our small town, I noticed that some people probably see our home a bit differently than we do.

First you have the tour guides, some of whom may even live near here year-round, who guide the happy tourists who come from all over. And, obviously, you have the tourists, who come from every corner of the globe. But, mostly from Utah. Then you even have the yellow t-shirt mob of Christians who, with the best intentions, have come to crash the party for the misguided Mormons.

And all of this takes place on the streets of our usually quiet little town.

It’s really very odd, and for a moment today I tried to imagine what it is like to visit this place not realizing that 50.5 weeks of the year it’s just “home” to a few thousand regular folk, like we the Campbells. And, if those tour guides are just flying in for the little 10 day site-seeing marathon… what do they think of our humble home town?

All the world is a stage, yes, but for 10-12 days in July, center stage in the lives of anyone connected to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is Palmyra, NY!

by Greg

Picky Eater

RiceWe were invited to join some friends tonight for a little campfire in their back yard, complete with S’mores! I know Steve from playing basketball together for a few years now, but we’ve not gotten to spend much time together with the rest of the families.

Somehow the conversation migrated to my time in Venezuela. They asked if I was fluent in Spanish, and I said that I wouldn’t say fluent, but I do alright. “What I am ‘fluent’ in is making the Venezuelan national dish!” I explained the whole Pabellon meal with it’s various parts: rice, beans, shredded meat, and arepas. Steve’s wife said, “That all sounds great. I wouldn’t eat any of it, but it sounds great.” We all laughed, and Jen said, “Well, at least the rice, right?” To which she replied, “No. Don’t eat rice. Never had it.”

NEVER HAD RICE? I was simply dumbfounded. I asked, “You’ve never had any white rice… ever?” Never.

I asked her if she knew that she might be the only human being on the planet to have never eaten rice. It’s the main food most of us eat around the globe. Rice and beans. EVERYWHERE!

This is the most amazing food fact I have heard a person utter recently. Just simply the most amazing.

What’s not to like about rice? How can a mom of three children have lived her entire life without ever having eaten ANY RICE??!?!?!??!?!

Wow.

I asked her if I could post this story on my blog tonight, and she gave permission. She’s rather proud of her picky-ness I think. She says there are only about 5 things she eats. Hamburgers, hot dogs… french fries. Her husband chimed in, “And, pretty much any breakfast food…” So, McDonald’s and Pancakes… nice! 🙂 I said to her, “How are you still ALIVE??!?” 🙂

I am just still amazed! Nice going Picky Eater! You are definitely the champion in my book!!!! 🙂

by Greg

There’s a Dead Skunk In the Middle of the Road…

Skunk: R.I.P.“Stinkin’ to high heaven!”

When I was a young lad, my family lived in the country. Due to our secluded location, we traversed many a wilderness road. Due to these wilderness roads, we would often see, or just smell the remains of a cute little black and white skunk. And, frequently the refrain of that little ditty would joyfully leave our lips:

There’s a dead skunk,
In the middle of the road
Stinkinnnnn to hiiiiiigh heaven!

Thing is, until tonight (unless my memory fails me) I have never been the skunk’s murderer. 🙂

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, as we climbed the hill on a two-lane country road, with a vehicle approaching in the on-coming lane, a tiny creature slowly scurried across the road on a seemingly perfect path for my left front tire. He missed the car in the opposing lane, but as I had originally predicted, perfectly timed his visit to our left front tire.

Within 5 seconds I was rolling up my window, and hoping the smell wouldn’t get any worse.

Now, where were those tomatoes…

So, our van stinks. Our driveway stinks. It even stinks a bit inside our house. And, maybe my clothes even stink? 🙂

And there’s a dead skunk, in the middle of the road… 🙂

___