by Greg

Transitions

We’re definitely in a season of transition here. I am beginning to understand that life itself is a season of transition. But there is a more specific area of transition I’m talking about.

We have a teenager. (Da-da-dum…)

And so, things are different. I don’t just mean that our food bills are (MUCH) higher, or that we seem to have to repeat ourselves even more these days, or that the Teenager sleeps too much. All of that it true, but only of a very secondary or tertiary concern.

There are more complex matters that arise as one moves from childhood to adulthood. Most of us who have passed through those years remember what it was like as you began to think more and more of yourself, becoming more independent, “spreading your wings”.

(And many of us also remember a decade or more later realizing how little we really knew and understood then… and now!)

Heavy on my mind and heart have been moments, thoughts, questions about freedoms that Ian deserves as he makes this transition. It is, after all, much more his than mine.

What a strange transition it was thirteen years ago when we went from being responsible for our own actions and choices, to being fully responsible for another’s life, their entire being. Ian relied on us for everything. It starts with simple sustenance and taking care of his physical needs. Then it progresses to introducing him to the world around him, starting with relationships: Mom, Dad, Grandmas & Grandpas, eventually siblings. Even that is in a way “simple”.

But there are moments when I realize now that I may be overstepping my role as a parent. Perhaps that’s the wrong word, as it implies a set role. I do believe there is a transition that must happen from the full responsibility we have for the very life of our infant children to their later training, disciplining, and eventually… their releasing.

We’re certainly not there yet, but I see glimpses of it.

In a few conversations with friends recently I’ve been reminded that the struggle to parent through this stage is definitely not just my own. Talking with a friend recently who also have a teenager in the home, I was reminded of the careful (perhaps blurry) line we walk as we guide them, walk with them toward adulthood. She was thinking of some events she wasn’t that thrilled for her daughter to be part of (not because they were a bad thing for her daughter, but presumably that her participation was another sign of her too quickly growing up.) Then she said something about remembering how it was when she was that age, and it wasn’t that bad.

And the way she worded it struck me. It reminded me vividly of the fact that our kids are really very much not ours. They do not belong to us. For a time, perhaps shorter than most of us realize, there is an appearance of that “belonging” but it’s a great privilege that we could fulfill that role for another Image Bearer. Parents, the Creator has made our children just as he has made us: fully responsible to him alone.

Don’t get me wrong here. One, you may have already figured this out way before me. I know I’m not sharing any great revelation that I have had or God has given first to me. Second, I really don’t have any rock-solid conclusions on any of this yet. I think that’s an amazing thing about parenting: we really don’t know what we’re doing, at any stage of the game! (Am I right, Mom & Dad?)

And so we love. And we learn to step back (extremely difficult though that may be) and view our older children as the individuals that they are. Yes, they live “under our roof, by our rules” … sure. But the greatest thing we can give to our children is an example of grace and freedom akin to the way Jesus treats us.

I’m currently working through what things actually have value, and at what cost for Ian. At this point I am beginning to feel much more like a mentor to him than the Rule Giver that I have been, and still am for his younger siblings. I think I even notice chances to be that mentor for our ten-year-old son, Alex. Much more so for Ian though. It still seems very prudent to have clear boundaries for what is good and what is just not good for his heart. But there are very clearly evidences of yearnings for greater freedom.

At some point, my boundaries will be gone. This current season of transition is the time where I begin to love Ian more and more as an individual with likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, and with a freedom granted him by his very existence.

Oh boy. I just had no idea the journey alongside my kids could be this challenging … and we have a long way to go!

It’s such a beautiful thing. I look forward to God gently showing me ways that I can lift up Ian and his freedoms, and point him more to Father than to me. Eventually to walk alongside him as a brother, rather than a father. I know I will always be his Dad, and I cherish that. But I also know that he is not mine to hold on to. I’m just the hired help, for a season.

And the seasons are pretty quickly changing.

I’m thankful that they aren’t ever too quick. If I’m tuned into him, and to Jesus, they are just right. (And even when I’m not, Jesus has grace enough for me in that.)

So we move forward, transitioning. I would be untruthful if I didn’t admit to some anxiety of the unknown years ahead, and how they will turn out. But I do know for sure that those feelings are my own overstepping of my role. While I can pour all my heart, love, knowledge, wisdom, caring into my kids … eventually, and even now, they get to choose. It’s that built-in freedom that we all have. I can do a bit more about it while they are younger, but in reality, I am never “in control” of them. Only they are. Their actions and choices are their own. That’s scary when I think I’m responsible for them. Or even, if I think their actions reflect badly on me, and my parenting.

But I want my mark to be the way that I love them, not how well they comply. I want my measuring stick to be my relationship with them, how much they trust my love for them. They are going to fall, to fail. Definitely. They are just as much a slave to our sinful nature as I am.

What I want them to know, through all the transitions we will traverse in this life, is that they are loved: by both of their Dads.

That’s one thing that will never change.

by Greg

Tradition, Tradition!

Traditional New Year's Day meal, pork, sauerkraut, mashed potatoes, corn bread

As far back as I can remember, my family has always celebrated New Year’s Day with a big meal featuring pork, sauerkraut, mashed potatoes, and corn bread. My dad enjoys throwing in some baked clams, but I’ve chosen to leave those out of our version of the family tradition… 🙂

This year was no different. Even though we’d been packing a bunch in between Christmas and Ian’s 13th birthday celebrations, and despite the fact that I had been feeling pretty sick the night before, I still managed to get the pork loin in the oven to slow roast overnight and we had a delicious meal for a late lunch the next day.

It’s said that having this meal on New Year’s Day leads to a prosperous year, but I’m really just glad for the fun of making it and the tastiness of eating it! Plus it’s a favorite of just about everyone in our family (and friends we’ve gotten to share the meal with, too!)

A slightly more odd tradition that we keep in the Campbell household is celebrating Three Kings Day, which we’ll be doing tomorrow morning! This is because of the few years of my childhood that were spent in Caracas, Venezuela. Three Kings Day is celebrated in many hispanic countries, including Venezuela! Our version may be a bit modified, but it suits us, and is mostly in the same spirit, I’d say.

Every January 5th, we leave our shoes out by the front door, ready to be filled by the three wise men. They leave us gifts, just like they did for Jesus. We can leave straw for their camels to eat, but usually don’t do that. 🙂 In the morning, we come down to find a small gift and usually some candy left in everyone’s shoes. Fun!

And, every once in a while, we’ll bake an oven-safe trinket into a cake and then whoever gets the piece of cake with that item in it gets to be KING for the day! We’ve modified this a bit, too, in that we know the King of kings, we try to be a king in the way he was: serving, not being served. (And yes, the kids still want to do it!)

Speaking of knowing the King of kings…

After reading many of her favorite mom/big-family blogs this Christmas season, Jen thought it might finally be the year to “do Christmas differently”. We’ve had a pretty typical Christmas tradition of lots of gifts, and the big family Christmas at Grandma & Grandpa’s, and so on. This year she thought we could focus more on the reason we’re celebrating: it’s Jesus’ birthday! (At least, the day that is celebrated.)

We’ve tossed some of these ideas around for the past several years, but we decided to really do it this year. First, we each drew a name of someone else in the family, and got just one meaningful gift for that person. (So, still gifts, but much less about gifts for us.) We spent as much or more money giving gifts to Jesus. How, you ask? Matthew 25 says, “Whatever you do for the least of these, you are doing for me” (my paraphrase), so we did that! We bought (via World Vision this time) 13 small farm animals for people who could use them for daily sustenance. It was really cool to see the kids excited to do it! And it was so nice to have the focus much less on the gifts (and the getting) and much more on Jesus, and the incredible Gift of his becoming a man that “…all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12)

We also made a birthday cake, of course, and had a great time celebrating Jesus’ birthday! (We’re pretty good at celebrating birthdays around here!) Hoping that this becomes our family tradition as the years go on. And I’m sure there will be some great modifications along the way.

Born 4 BC? 2015 in 2011!

Note: we based the “age” upon a birth year of 4 BC… thus the 2015. (Though, if you count the year 0, wouldn’t he be 2016?) 🙂

Do you have family traditions from your childhood that you have continued with your family? Any new ones you’ve begun with your own family? Comment below!

by Greg

What Matters Most: The Story of Jayden

Every day we have stuff to do. Things that are “on our plate”. At the time, they weigh on us, at the end of the day (or during the day) exhaust our energy, and they may or may not also leave us feeling fulfilled.

You know what I’m talking about. It’s work, it’s the kids, it’s bills, it’s errands, it’s house cleaning, home repair, auto repair, insurance squabbles, kids’ daily and weekly activities, your family’s social calendar, community and neighborhood events and/or responsibilities. Then there are all your relationships: family, close friends, neighbors, friends who need support, good friends who are far away, and so on. And don’t forget all the books you want to read, the shows you like to watch, the hobbies you don’t have time for, and plans for the next holiday’s activities and gatherings.

These things fill our days, and our weeks, and our years. And mostly they are good. They are the stuff of life.

But for the most part, they all completely fall away when death or serious illness makes its macabre appearance.

Last year seemed to be full of serious illness and death all around us. (And you can throw in divorce and other of life’s hardships, if you’d like.) And somehow, when the reality of the most certain thing in life came front and center, the rest seemed so silly. So trivial. So superfluous.

What did it matter if I was having trouble getting a certain plugin to work with a complex shopping cart installation? So what if I can’t really figure out how to get our family out of this current financial pinch? Who cares if the van has fourteen different things wrong with it at once? Why does my kids’ incessant refusal to keep their living space neat and tidy bother me so much?

None of it matters when someone we know and love is either already gone, or soon will be.

We have some friends who just recently lost their four-month-old baby boy. I wish I could tell you the full story here, but not only would it be long enough to fill a week’s worth of posts, I’m not sure I could do it justice. I do hope that someday they will be able to write it out for more people to hear and see God’s every great gift to them.

The video above is their story. Hopefully you already watched it. If not, please do. What was most inspiring and encouraging to me is that through a difficult pregnancy where they were told early on that their baby would probably have some severe problems when—if—he was born, they trusted God, and asked him for a healing miracle… and they watched him DO it! Baby Jayden was born perfectly healthy, with no sign of the expected difficulties. (And, they even got to watch them be removed through the long months of the pregnancy.)

But then, things again took a turn for the worse.

Instead of being angry with God, though, who had given them hope and then (it would seem) had taken it away again, they loved their little boy (their gift from God) and they moved forward completely trusting Father to take care of him and them, however that turned out.

Their complete trust in God’s goodness through all of the physically and emotionally tiring, exhausting, draining experiences of Jayden’s four months was what gave them a deep peace that was palpable when you were with them, and it has buoyed them still, in the few weeks after his absence from their family.

And during the time he was sick—gravely sick—other things faded away. Family became important, work less important. Daily “things” were pushed to the background, and life and relationships took their place. I know because I saw it, watched it, and I have lived it.

We have experienced loss, too. Far too many times, actually. We did not get to experience both the joy of knowing our babies for four short months, nor the pain of losing someone we knew outside the womb. But we’ve also known loss.

And every time, what the reality of that brings to the front is that nothing matters more than how you love, and being/living loved. Knowing that your Father loves you, adores you. And then loving other people because you know he adores them, too. Cherishing the other Image-Bearers that he has put in your life, and you in theirs.

That’s really it.

Really.

Thank you, Jayden, for the reminder. Thank you Jesus for giving us some time to be around him, to know him, and to be reminded of what you really made us for. What really matters.

by Greg

Project: Backyard Ice Rink (Part 2)

(continued from yesterday’s post)

We had heard that some people do just fine by stitching two sheets together with waterproof tape. I did a bit more research online and found waterproofing repair tape was indeed a real product, and might actually work.

And it might have, had the weather cooperated. And, had the second piece of plastic been at least close to the quality of the first.

Once we had pieced our liner together, we placed the seam and the poorer-quality plastic at the top of the grade, where the least water would be on it. (Unfortunately for us, this meant that it would also take way too long to get ANY water on it, to hold it down.)

Before the water, though, we had to paint!

The boys had the fun idea of painting all the hockey lines on their rink. They even had a name (and logo) for their rink! This was probably the most fun part of the entire project! Sadly, the day we were installing the liner and painting, was a very rainy, wet day. So, not much of their art was left the next morning when we began the “Big Fill”.

And I do mean B-I-G.

Forty-five minutes into the “Big Fill”, I went to check on the progress, and it looked like a heavy rain had collected on our liner. Just a small puddle in the deepest end. Wow! Guess I’ll give it a lot more time!

Four hours later… only about a third of the rink had water in it! Deepest part was at most four inches deep. Holy smokes!

Twenty-four hours later of almost constant water flow (we had to stop it a few times because it was reducing water pressure to other things in our house like dish washer, washing machine and toilet!) it was about 10″ deep at the deepest spot, and about three quarters of the rink was covered. Nice! But really? Still not done???

I must back up one more time and explain what I think is the biggest reason.

The day we were doing the Big Fill, was also a very windy day. VERY windy. Like sustained 30 mph winds.

You’ve gotta be kidding me!

The plastic had already been blown off a few times, so I secured it to the frame with staples. All seemed good except wind can get into very tiny places. (And thin, flimsy plastic—like the Plan B plastic we used—likes to blow around!)

Unfortunately, the slow-rising water, and the high-velocity winds (and the poor-quality plastic) were a major setback for our rink. The wind kept whipping the plastic around, so much so that it tore apart the seem we had created with the waterproof tape. (Guess it’s not windproof.) Now there are very obvious holes in a couple spots in the seem, and being slightly submerged, we can no longer apply the tape (it needs a dry surface).

Our last attempt to make this work is to let the very cold air tonight and tomorrow freeze what’s in there (including some over part of the seem) and perhaps let the ice be enough of a seal as we add more water, little by little? The problem with this plan is that the ice will very likely melt in the next week or so (at least a little) … so, will our crazy ice-seam be enough to hold?

No idea. But we are going to be experts on this by next year! 🙂

  1. Get accurate measurements: angles, board lengths, full rink dimensions
  2. Get one, high-quality sheet of plastic liner!!! (Even MORE than you think you’ll need!)
  3. Only apply paint on dry, warmer days…
  4. Allow about THREE DAYS to fill the rink!!! Preferably NOT windy days!

I’m thinking the lessons are not done just yet … but that’s what we’ve learned so far. I’m pretty sure we’ll get to skate on this rink, even if it hasn’t worked out entirely as planned. And without a doubt, it has been a super fun family project the whole time. Unexpected turns of events and all!

by Greg

Project: Backyard Ice Rink (Part 1)

We’ve got a project underway here at the Campbell home. We’re trying to freeze a large portion of our back yard. (Well, more accurately, a large quantity of water, covering our back yard…)

One thing is for sure: we’ve learned quite a bit of what not to do along the way!

It all started with a slight modification of the original plans.

When we first thought we’d attempt to make an ice rink in our back yard, we thought we’d follow my brother-in-law’s simple rectangular model. But then, being one to investigate online, I found a post with (very loose) instructions for setting up more of an oval rink, so pucks won’t get trapped as easily in the corners. It looked straightforward enough. All you do is add another board, cut in two, on the corners. Easy!

First mistake. 🙂

We determined the amount of wood needed. Even divided it up in the 2 x 8, 2 x 10, and 2 x 12s, according to where they would be placed in relation to the grade of the land. (Which, is probably a tad too steep for an ice rink!) We had it all nicely planned out, and even laid out.

And that’s when I discovered I hadn’t really though far enough ahead…

See, not only did we not account for the different angles needed (two boards cut to make a “corner” of an oval are not cut at 45º angles… it’s true! They’re not!) we—or rather, I?—did not remember that the length of the boards was also an important factor!

So that meant breaking out old algebraic formulas (and some very handy angle calculators on the internets…) to figure out that we needed cuts of 22.5º to but up against the long flat boards, and cuts of 11.25º in the middle of the two cut boards. Nice! The fun part there was trying to set the saw to an angle of 11.25º!

Once we had cut all the boards, we had to fit them all together. Sadly, we did not measure the length of the angled boards very meticulously. What we did was just push the boards out as far as the angled boards “forced” us to go. (This will come into play just a bit later in the story. Stay tuned.) Once we had made our oval based upon that, we discovered that we had about an 8-to-10″ gap left! HA! NOT what we were expecting, but we knew we could fix it later.

Now all we needed was to get the plastic liner.

A few calls to various local hardware stores (and a trip to big-box Lowe’s) revealed that this was not actually an easy part of the process. Not many places have a plastic sheet big enough to fill a rink area of approximately 24′ x 32′. My brother-in-law had gotten a piece big enough for his rink last year at a local store in Buffalo, so I figured I’d give them a call. Bingo! They had it, I purchased it right there on the phone, planning to either make the trip all the way over there, or meet brother-in-law in the middle somewhere.

The biggest issue we were facing at this point, early December, was that the weather was NOT cooperating! No sign of freezing temperatures anywhere in the near future!

This meant that we didn’t make getting that plastic liner a priority. And that would turn into several snafus later down the line.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Here’s the next spot things went south. (Why is the south equal to “bad”?)

Being the generous sort (and quick with numbers), my brother-in-law had a proposal. Once he used what he needed for his rink, the remaining liner would be enough (according to our stated dimensions) for our smaller rink! This is quite generous because the plastic we bought ran just slightly over $100, and that was the cheapest option out there!

I hesitated slightly—no, more than slightly—because I wondered if the dimensions of his rink were wrong, or the plastic might be cut wrong, or we might have the wrong dimensions… so many things could possibly go wrong here, and we’d be out of luck as the place we got our liner would be out of stock by the time we figured it out. But, after much thought, I decided to go with the generous offer, since it sure seemed that we’d have more than enough.

ALWAYS trust your gut. Always.

Once we got the plastic upon a post-Christmas visit with family in Buffalo, we were eager to get it installed in our rink. We had to wait a day, due to inclement weather. (That was slightly encouraging though, as we knew the cold was on its way!)

Two days post acquisition of the liner remnants, the boys and I headed out to Lowe’s to get another board and the remaining stakes needed for the frame. (Unfortunately, it took us three trips to correctly acquire all we needed!)

We cut the board, placed it, and hammered in the remaining stakes. Now it was time to lay out the plastic liner! Whoohoo!

But, huh… is that really going to fit???

Though that small piece of plastic, well-rolled, did surprise us with its coverage area, we were definitely short. By probably about three feet on either side, length-wise.

“I knew it!!” were the only words I could say. I knew this would happen… I should have trusted my gut!

Now, before you go blaming my brother-in-law, read on.

Since it was clearly short, I wanted to know if he had been shorted on what he purchased, or, well, just what in the world went wrong. We broke out the measuring tape and walked it off. “Huh. Look at that…” 40.5 feet long? Weird. Measured the width. 28.5″ wide. Strange!

We had forgotten to measure again, once we resized the frame according to the angled/cut boards (as I mentioned earlier).

Now what?!?!

Sadly, it was unlikely that the 30′ x 100′ plastic we had purchased previously and returned were still available, so we went with Plan B: tape!

(Yes… tape.)

… to be continued tomorrow!

by Greg

Plans

You really never know what is coming next in life. That makes it difficult to plan out what you might do in a year, or even a month. (Sometimes the next week!)

But it’s not a bad thing to have a plan. A “if-everything-works-out”, best-case scenario.

In mine, I will read at least 24 new books in the coming year. (Not counting the Bible, and/or books of the Bible, which I do plan to read again in 2012, too.)

Typing that makes it sound less impressive (and less insurmountable) than it usually feels.

My goal is to finish at least a couple books a month. The issue is, many of the books on my current reading (or “to read”) list are the 800-1200 page variety.

Yes, I am slightly crazy. But mostly, I just love learning about people, events, history, places, things. And I do just love to read.

Here’s a look at what’s currently on my reading radar screen:

  1. *Being George Washington – Glenn Beck
  2. *Original Argument (a modern translation of the Federalist Papers)
  3. Steve Jobs – Walter Isaacson
  4. Never Give In! The Best of Winston Churchill Speeches – Winston S. Churchill
  5. Woodrow Wilson and the Roots of Modern Liberalism – Ronald J. Pestritto
  6. Choosing to SEE – Mary Beth Chapman
  7. The First Commandment – Brad Thor
  8. Spilled Milk – Michael J. Scott
  9. *The Introvert Advantage – Marti Olsen Laney
  10. *One Thousand Gifts – Ann Voskamp
  11. 7 Tipping Points That Saved The World – Chris and Ted Stewart
  12. Sacred Fire – Peter A. Lillback
  13. For You They Signed – Marilyn Boyer
  14. Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy – Eric Metaxas
  15. Several C.S. Lewis books

I am realizing as I make this list that such a list would be far too exhaustive. I have way more than 24 books in mind but I think those above are the next dozen or so in the queue, even if they are not entirely in the order I plan to read them in. I am also very good at fitting other stuff in along the way! For example, I’ll probably pick up the next book in the Brad Thor/Scot Harvath series. (I’m reading through his older stuff after reading Full Black this past fall.) And I am also planning to complete the Lord of the Rings trilogy with my boys in 2012.

Basically, it’s going to be a very well-read year, if things go according to plan!

If you’d like to see more books I am reading, plan to read, have read, you can sit and watch the little changing book image in the right sidebar (each one is clickable). Or, you can just visit the page(s) created by the Now Reading plugin for WordPress that I use to organize all this stuff.

I’d love for anyone reading, this to read along with me on some or even all of these books. (It would be a bit strange if you liked all the same books as me…) 🙂 And, if you have any that you’d recommend I add, please suggest them in the comments.

May 2012 bring you many blessings from God (true blessings may not always seem to be blessings at the time) and many great moments along the way, from books and otherwise.

by Greg

Wrapping Up

Editor’s Note: This post is taken from a recent newsletter to our basic mailing list. Seemed a fitting post for GregsHead.net on this last day of 2011. The email updates are infrequent, but if you’d like to sign up for the list, you can do so from our basic website or Facebook page. Thanks

Another year has come and gone, but I think 2011 will remain in our memory for a while as it has been so full of rather significant ups and downs. Sometimes it’s difficult to know if you can use the word significant while you are still in the midst of life’s events, but somehow it does seem appropriate for the events of this calendar year.

We still get to sing. I (Greg) led worship for a friend a few times in the last half of this year (and brought one of the Campbell kids with me each time, which made it even better!). Our whole family sang Christmas carols for a hundred people or so at a nursing home earlier this month. (That was fantastic!) And of course there is much singing around our home with Mom, Dad, and six junior musicians about. (All have shown a love and talent for things musical, and Alex in particular has written several well-crafted songs!)

Yes, there is still music in our home.

I am still building websites. There have been many interesting and challenging projects through the past year. And even better maybe is that I have joined forces with a couple other designer/programmers. Not only are they able to help me accomplish more work, they are skilled in other areas and allow me as Basic Web Design & Graphics to do more for my clients, AND, I really enjoy working with them.

The work goes on.

And there is certainly still joy. From the recent milestones of our first teenager (Ian) and our second double-digit-er (Alex), to the beautiful thoughts and insights that come the mouths of our youngest three children (Julia, Emma, Cameron), to the graceful growing up of our first daughter, Kirstie. We have moments to treasure from every day, really. It’s an amazing gift from God to be their Dad and Mom. We enjoyed a family vacation for the first time in a few years, and there was also a wonderfully encouraging workshop Jen was invited to attend that inspired her to live fully in the freedom and love of Father.

Add to that a few smaller joys like our kitchen remodeling project (something we’ve wanted to do for years, and managed to do with help from my parents, in synch with God’s bigger-picture timing that became a double blessing to us!) … financial restructuring thanks to some generous friends that should get us to a significantly better place in just five years… a backyard ice rink that should be usable in a week or two… eclipsing 200,000 miles in our trusty minivan… and enjoying seeing our kids enjoy their various activies: soccer, ballet, hockey/ice skating, and more.

There is definitely joy.

There has also been loss. The loss of a friend to a sudden, unexpected passing. Praying and grieving with many friends dealing with similar loss (and worse, if that were possible). Losses of our own. Even the loss of a “dream”.

In late 2010, things were coming together for us to begin a new, exciting venture as a family: opening a restaurant! It was to be a loose partnership with a long-time acquaintance/friend who has been in the food business for a decade or so. Things progressed, God seemed to be leading us through several confirming doors… and then several things completely fell apart. What seemed a “dream” was dashed against many rocks and became an obvious “dead end”. (At least, for the forseeable future.)

Through much pain, loss, hardship… God has always been presnt, loving, life-giving. We are learning to trust him more and more. I think that we are even learning that together as a family. All of 2011 will also help our kids to know and trust and follow their true Father. But that doesn’t make loss easier, or less painful. It just helps you see better.

What will 2012 hold? Not certain. I’m sure we will still sing. (Whether that is with/for other people, or just in our hearts to our King.) I’m sure there will be joy. (How can there not be with him?) And I’m sure there will also be loss, a certainty in this shifting, changing world.

And I am certain there will be Him. With us through all: good, bad, and in between. And in that certainty is our peace, our hope, our joy, our contentedness. We will trust and follow him, through whatever may come!

I hope you will, too. One thing I’ve noticed, even at the toughest times in 2011, is that we are definitely not alone or unique in our suffering. In fact, sometimes in comparison, we have it pretty “easy”. You may have had an equally challenging calendar year.

I hope that you know – without a doubt – that he is with you – and for you – through it all. Keep your eyes fixed on him. Trust him. And your heart will know peace.

There is nothing greater than to know him. Nothing.

by Greg

No Comparison

I have this friend.

He’s pretty amazing at everything he attempts. He has a lot of the same interests and capabilities, and does a lot of the same work as me, only a lot better. He can build smarter web sites. He can code (well) in several web programming languages. He’s even a handyman kinda guy, who can build just about anything. (Wonder if he uses duct tape?)

There are days I think, “Man, I should just quit right now! My friend can do all this stuff I’m trying to do so much better than me. Sheesh!”

I have these other friends.

They have been in the hospital with their beautiful baby boy almost the entire 3 months he has been alive. (When they weren’t in the hospital with him, they were at home—not sleeping—just to make sure he would make it through the night.) It’s not looking good. There are people all over the world praying for this little guy (with God, all things are possible) who is suffering from a terminal genetic disorder. (Though, actually, adding to the difficulty is the fact that the doctors aren’t even sure what is causing all that is happening to his tiny body.)

There are moments where, when I look back at the very emotionally and physically and spiritually draining year (plus) that we have lived through in 2011, I am tempted to think, with my heart heavy for my friends, “Well, I suppose I should be thankful that all that I have been through can’t be as bad as what they are facing, and all they have been through.”

What is it about our hearts, our inner selves, that must compare?

Whether it is, “I’m not as good as him…” or, “I guess I’m better off than them?” … there is a strong tendency to compare.

It’s why we judge. It’s why there are prejudices. We are constantly looking at others lives in comparison to ours.

But there is no comparison.

I am me. You are you. You are the most perfect you. And quite likely, no… most definitely, you are not me. (And of course, I am not you.)

And, we shouldn’t be.

God made a world full of diversity. There is diversity beyond our imaginations in all the rest of his creation, and when we’re having a good day, we can see that there is beautiful diversity in Us: the Crown of His Creation.

I’m not sure why we do it. I am thankful that God keeps developing my trust in him to the point where I am doing it much less often. But I still do.

And I should not.

All we are meant to do is to stay connected to him, listen to him, be loved by him, and then live life with the people he asks us to: rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn. None of us is better or worse than another. We may make choices that are better or worse, but even in those, we are not the ones who are to judge others and mete out praise or punishment (unless we’re in some official capacity to do so).

[T]he Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8

We’re not competitors in life. We are fellow pilgrims. We have the same Father, and the same Oldest Brother. And the same Spirit he promises to those who will follow. Life lived together with him is vibrant and deep and there’s enough to go around, through the highest and lowest we go through.

It’s a lie that we should be as good as that guy, or that we’re not as good as that girl. We can’t have it any better or worse than anyone else. We have it exactly as he wants us to. We’re right where we’re supposed to be, especially if we’re listening to—and following—His lead.

Then there’s no comparison.

by Greg

On Being Thankful

This is the day we are thankful. All over our country we spend the day—even the whole weekend—thinking about the things for which we are thankful.

Sometimes we have cute ways of saying it. You know, like the annual “go around the table and say what you’re thankful for” exercise. Or maybe it’s a more tactile expression, written on paper or some other tangible medium.

Sometimes we are just quietly, introspectively thankful.

But on this day, we are Thankful.

And even though I have one of those brains that is always going, always thinking, always processing, always introspectively examining and pondering … and also despite the fact that I am wont to buck almost any tradition… I’m certainly not exempt from being in this frame of mind come late November.

In fact, there are quite a gamut of things I’ve dwelt on today, grateful that God has either been the Giver (James 1:17) or he has walked with me through it.

One of the first things I was grateful for today was a dinner that I got to prepare and share with some new friends one year ago this day. They were new friends to us, had known them only a few months. But they had already been so welcoming and loving toward our family that our kids readily adopted them as their third set of grandparents! I felt a kinship with Wayne, too, as he was a prolific writer (something I have aspired to be) and definitely marched to the beat of his own drum (something to which I also aspire).

The reason I am extra thankful for that one particular meal we shared together (besides the fact that I always love to make food for people, and visit with people) is that just two months later, Wayne would no longer be with us.

Ordinarily we would have been visiting with family that day. With Jen’s family, or perhaps my family … or both? In fact, that had been the plan: to join my parents who were with my sister and her family after the birth of their daughter. However, various circumstances kept that from happening … and when we found ourselves with an open Thanksgiving Day, we were delighted to find out that our new friends had found themselves in just that same spot!

Who could have known that there wouldn’t be very many more meals we’d all share together?

I think that’s a great reason for being thankful. I read a sign tonight, it was a picture of a sign actually. It said, “It’s not happy people who are thankful, it’s thankful people who are happy.” Indeed. Somehow it’s a truth that is at the core of our makeup. The “power of positive thinking” perhaps. Whatever it is that is behind it, there is a deep reality in the power of our perspective, our attitude.

I can go through my days worried about how I am going to pay our mortgage this month, or afford the repair work for our van (or really, the new van we need to be saving for!), or how I can better help equip my kids with the right tools they need for life, or even just spend my days being bogged down by the details of all the various projects I juggle for my work. Those things are indeed important, but perhaps not mine to struggle with.

When that is my focus, I might miss the chance to have an impromptu Thanksgiving dinner with someone whose presence I will not much longer share. I might miss an opportunity to see my wife’s beautiful heart in the way she expresses a thought she had or something Jesus is teaching her. I might miss (and sadly, have missed) the tender, loving heart of one of my sons or daughters so open and fully extended to their Dad (whom they often seem to view as so much more than I know that I am).

All because I was so focused on the things that seem to need attention—or change—rather than savoring the gifts that the Giver has already provided.

Like my beautiful, precious wife. Like our six amazing children. Like the family that God has surrounded us with: parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and even non-blood family.

And how about a roof over our heads? All the crazy freedoms and luxuries we have in this country? (Though, perhaps that is not really always—or ever?—something that we should be thankful for, at least, not in the way we usually think we should be.) How about the incredibly difficult year that 2011 has been for our household? More importantly, the fruit that we’ve seen Holy Spirit grow in and around us as a direct or indirect result of that?

There is an unending list of things we can be thankful for. In fact, it’s really more of a reality to live in (a paradigm, or perspective) rather than a list to check off.

Jen said it best today when she commented, “I’m really not any more thankful on this day than I am any other day. I’m not sure how to be!”

When you can breathe thankful, that is certainly the case. “Always be thankful.” Not just a command to “do it”… or else! But an invitation to the fullness of life that can be known when we shift our focus from our own efforts and abilities (or lack thereof) to gratitude for his provision, his caring… and his extraordinary capabilities. (Ephesians 3:20-21)

So as this Thankful day comes to its close, I am thankful. For the day spent with nearly all of our close family. For a belly full of delicious food. For a quiet house full of Sleepers, without whom my life, even I myself would not be the same. I’m thankful for my Father who loves me, and even likes me. 🙂 That he wants to be with me, and me to be with him, still amazes.

And I’m thankful for Wayne. Glad for the very short time God crossed our paths. Looking forward to the rest of the path crossings God has in mind for me during the time I have left, however much that may be.

We can’t know. We only know now. We have now.

And for that, I’m grateful.

by Greg

Beautiful Eggs

Our oldest son was asked to take care of our friends’ animals while they are away visiting family for the Thanksgiving weekend. One of his plentiful duties is to collect the eggs laid by their hens at the end of every day. There are usually around eight to ten eggs per day, but tonight there were around a dozen. Nice job, chickens!

We brought them home and I didn’t really know what to do with them, so I washed them off. (I have since learned that this may not be the best idea… but we plan to use them soon, so it’ll probably be OK…)

As I was cleaning them, I noticed how vibrant the colors were. Not easter-egg vibrant, but just solid. And even a speckle or two of a darker shade of their natural color. There were three main hues: light blue, pink, and brown. It truly looked better than any Easter eggs I’ve ever colored!

And their shape. It was so perfectly round. Like they were somehow manufactured to exact specifications. And yet, there was a slight variation in each one. Distinct artistry. Not a shortcoming of any kind. Beautifully unique, while being perfectly uniform.

Then I remembered that these were fashioned inside a living creature. They weren’t pressed from a mold in a machine, then wrapped in a perfect packaging and placed on a pristine, immaculate store shelf. It was birthed. It was the natural product of a natural process.

And I was filled with wonder for the Creator of that process.

So many times we miss the incredible reality that is around us. The chickens are fed and cared for, and as their bodies process the food they take in, a natural outcome is this perfectly formed, beautifully colored and designed egg … that I eat for my breakfast. Or use to bake a couple dozen cookies or a deliciously moist cake.

Somehow, sometimes, the simplest things are so incredibly, jaw-droppingly astonishing to me. The creativity and genius of our Creator just blows me away.

Eggs aren’t much in the grand scheme. Nor are chickens, I guess. You and I are worth much more than sparrows (and probably chickens, too…) and every little part of God’s creation reminds us of that. His provision for us is not something that he does because he has to, or grudgingly, but with great pleasure.

Including ours.