by Greg

DOMA Arigato

Defense of Marriage Act, section 3 ruled unconstitutionalJust about a week ago, the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) was in the news for two rulings in regards to same-sex marriages. One was specific to California (Proposition 8), and I won’t address that here, but the first was regarding a case challenging the constitutionality of section three (§3) of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

In a 5-4 decision, the SCOTUS ruled that §3 of DOMA was indeed unconstitutional, based on the protections guaranteed by the Fifth Amendment. (The Full Faith and Credit clause.)

And so, what began as a not very good idea continues to crumble.

Background

In 1996, Congress rushed through (with great approval, based on the votes) the Defense of Marriage Act. It was signed into law by President Bill Clinton—who at that time personally, publicly opposed gay marriage, in addition to his belief that it should not be sanctioned by the Federal government—and ever since then, DOMA has been challenged by one court case after another, slowly eroding its frail constitutional structure.

And really, I agree with this ruling.

I do not agree with same-sex marriage. I think God was pretty clear (stick with me here) speaking strictly anatomically, that there is a proper “match” between a man and a woman. The physical is obvious. And then there is the story of Adam & Eve: when God made a partner for Adam, he made Eve. (Not “Steve”.. haha!! Good one!!!) 🙂

And, the other obvious reason for a marriage to be between one man and one woman for life is procreation. You can’t actually have kids without both sexes being involved. Are you with me?

Now, I know there are seemingly a billion nuances to this. There’s one side yelling, “Homosexuality is a SIN! God hates fags!!!” And then the other side—properly and rightly offended—begins to hate the God whom these “Righteous Ones” claim to represent. And the former dig deep into the scriptures to sling judgmental condemnations straight from the Mouth of God upon these forlorn, wayward, despicable sinners! (Meanwhile ignoring their own filthy rags, and/or logs in their eyes, etc.)

The debate about what is right and what is wrong will never, ever get us anywhere.

So, if we’re arguing from the Bible, let’s take a look at Jesus. He is the final, fullest revelation of the Father, right? So, Jesus must have said plenty of times that he hated homosexuality (and then, it stands to reason, he hated homosexuals too, right?)—AND he hated, opposed, campaigned against gay marriage. Of course.

Right?

But… I don’t think Jesus ever addressed homosexuality? Weird.

Does that mean it is not a “sin”? No. Does it mean it’s “right”? Still, no. (In fact, logically you can’t presume something is “right” from the absence of a declaration of it being “wrong”, can you?)

Liberty is Paramount

What I think it does show us is the first way that we can deal with this issue.

Back off. Love people. “He who is without sin cast the first stone.”

We are not the police of anyone. (Unless of course you are a police officer, and then, well, we thank you for your service.)

It’s not my job to tell you—or as is the pattern of some—to make you do what I think you should do. If you want to marry someone who has the same body parts as you, well, I personally can not “sanction” that, but, I do sanction your right to choose differently than me.

And I expect you to do the same for me.

This is the crux of the whole thing for me: Liberty. It’s not a moral issue, though of course underneath the minutia of all these cases, and legal and political battles it has moral implications.

It’s an issue of liberty. And not only that of the people wanting to legalize same-sex unions.

I may strongly disagree with you, but inherent in my understanding of liberty is your liberty. You are entitled to live your life however you please, so long as no one else is hurt (without their full, willing consent) in the process. We are all guaranteed these inalienable rights: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

Even if it’s “wrong”, or even if it might hurt us. (Larger portions at fast food restaurants? Smoking? Drinking? Marijuana? Driving without seat belts? Riding bikes without helmets?)

We have become a people who no longer celebrate diversity, and we are increasing the pace toward total control over everyone’s lives.

Equality? Or Victory?

The cry from those who want to legalize same-sex marriages at the Federal level—thus requiring all States to abide by this legal status, whether or not they sanction such unions—is that of “equal rights”. But what is happening is really just an attempt to gain control, and force others to do what you think they should do. One group telling another how they can and will act. Bakeries have to make wedding cakes, and churches will be forced to perform same-sex marriages1.

The bottom line is: if you want freedom, then you must also give freedom.

You can have freedom, and the consequences of freedom, and you must concurrently and equally allow others to think and live differently than you. There are obviously places where these freedoms intersect, and at that point a society must decide how to resolve such disputes. That is what our Constitution (and the government it created) allow for.

I am opposed to gay marriage. But I am even more opposed to legislating any bit of this. In fact, I’m all for unlegislating marriage altogether. I love being married to Jen—it’s maybe the most important piece of who I am after being a child of God. Do I care that New York State “recognizes” my marriage? Not really at all.

Much of this fight is because of tax penalties (including the case that brought about last Wednesday’s ruling) and legalization of immigrants, and other financial/taxation concerns. So drop them, as much as possible. Don’t tax money bequeathed to a loved one. Don’t provide financial benefits to married couples.2

Just leave me be.

Legislating Morality

I agree with the Supreme Court that defining marriage is unconstitutional, but not because it violates the constitution as much as because the federal government has no place defining marriage in the first place. Traditional marriage, or same-sex marriage, or multiple concurrent marriages, or polygamy, etc, etc.

Some seem to see government as the protector of morality, but is that really our government’s role? I heard a statement in regards to this subject on a podcast just this morning:

“It’s the government’s job to treat [marriage with] equal[ity], it’s not the government’s job to make moral choices for people.”3

Spot on.

Stop thinking that you can pass laws and make people into what you want them to be.

Laws do not shape people’s minds and hearts. Education, the Holy Spirit, and in general, a caring instructor will do that. (As well as common sense and life experience; those can be the best teachers sometimes.)

You can’t say “Gay marriage is legal and approved!” and change people’s beliefs by that statement. Nor do we conform people to “right thinking” by saying, “Gay marriage is abhorrent and banned!!!”

It just doesn’t work that way. The morality of our laws and government reflect who we are, the do not make us who we are. In addition, our laws are about blind justice (not preferential prejudice) and equality, for all.

God made us free. Our Founders recognized that. We are born with the right to choose, and our government is We the People, protecting each other’s inalienable rights. I’m still going to disagree on the specifics regarding gay marriage, but that’s my inalienable right. And yours.

And that is what we most need to protect here.

It’s not “hate” to say that homosexuality is a sin. (Nor is it usually very helpful, in a public setting.) It is encroaching on freedom to say that someone can’t think that, or even express that.

(Again, it may not be helpful, but let truth be truth. If you say homosexuality is not a choice, but as natural as different skin or hair colors, then let that be true. Don’t force it on someone who strongly disagrees.)

But that’s where we fall sadly short. We are supposed to be the Land of the Free, but we really want to be free to make other people like me.

How sad. We’re meant to be more.

Love mercy, do justly, walk humbly with your God

So let’s be. Love your neighbor—whatever they believe. Find common ground, even if there’s barely any to be found. Stop trying to make other people think like you do!

And most of all, pray. Not for God to change other people, but so your eyes will be opened to what he is doing. First in you, and then around you.

I think it’s good that DOMA is being questioned. DOMA arigato, SCOTUS. Hopefully that means there is a semblance of constitutuional liberty still present in our bloated, overreaching federal government.

And now we proceed with liberty our goal. And justice for all.

True justice, not petty political victory.

May God help us as we do.

sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_of_Marriage_Act
http://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/12pdf/12-307_6j37.pdf

  1. Note, I realize this is in Denmark, but this mentality is being championed here in the US. When we make the gay view the “right” view, the same errors in how we treat each other will inevitably be carried out, just in the reverse. ↩
  2. I’m sure there is much more here than I even have time to consider, but the general principle makes sense to me. Less government is better government! ↩
  3. Wayne Jacobsen, The God Journey Podcast – Sexuality & Transformation (6/28/13) ↩
by Greg

Quiet

Lake Tahoe - Calm Water

It’s amazing what a little ‘R & R’ can do for a body.

And I don’t just mean one’s physical body.

For a good while now I’ve been feeling as though I am running on empty—nearly all the time, every day. That’s obviously not a great way to exist (nor, even more obviously, to thrive) and thus I have endeavored to adjust my daily schedule, plan for downtime, and just attempt to find any solution to the constant feeling of at-wits-end.

On Sunday morning, Jen had a plan. She offered to let me have a relaxing day—alone—to read, write, do whatever I wanted to do, free of any responsibilities that I might normally have. I hesitated only briefly, and then gratefully accepted her offer. She did, after all, offer… and, although she doesn’t prefer taking trips out (especially all day) with all six kids, she was in possession this day of a definitive plan. That always helps.

And so, I helped prepare the troops for departure, and then waved goodbye in the late morning hours, looking forward to whatever my quiet day might bring.

I’d like to say that I plopped right down in my favorite reading chair and spent the next many hours devouring one or more of my currently in-progress books, stopping only to empty my bladder or refill my cup of tea—but that’s not exactly what happened.

I started a load of laundry, then I went through my inbox, knowing there were a few messages to tend to. I did few maintenance tasks for my blog’s Facebook and (new) Twitter accounts, and I finally did sit down with a book.

But then I was a bit hungry after not much reading, so… I went and switched the laundry, starting a new load, prepared a small lunch, and after finishing that, headed back to my reading chair.

After that, when I tried to refill my mug, I noticed that my water was all gone—so, back downstairs to refill the large bottle on my water dispenser (which meant I also had a chance to stick in another load of laundry)… and this time I was actually quickly back into the world of my selected current read.

And then I noticed it.

You know when your phone’s battery is completely drained, and it even shuts down to preserve itself until you can connect it to a power source, and then it actually take a while before it can even come back online to show you that you have almost no battery power?

I think I was kind of like that.

So even though I wasn’t doing a very good job of only resting, I was alone, and quiet.

And it was working.

The funniest thing that I noticed was, after finishing up another chapter, my mind wandered—happily this time—to thoughts of tending to our garden, or mowing our yard while listening to an episode of a podcast I enjoy.

I even sat down at the piano and began playing a new song, apparently flowing from the energy that had been renewed in me.

I was back online, and my battery indicator had finally entered the green stage.

And I remembered the several times that the gospel writers mentioned Jesus’ habit of slipping away to be alone, to recharge:

But Jesus would often go to some place where he could be alone and pray. Luke 5:16 CEV

Then Jesus went into a house to get away from the crowd… Mark 7:17

With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night. Matthew 14:23 MSG

If Jesus knew the value of being alone—and especially with the purpose of reconnecting with Father—how silly of us to not make this a priority in our lives, too.

Sometimes it’s so hard, though. Being the parent of many children is certainly one of those times. They need you, as does your spouse. And it’s a joy to serve them.

But you aren’t you when you’re worn out, tired, not rested—when you’ve not taken intentional time to rest and be quiet.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

I have been rising early to go for a two-mile walk four or five days per week. That’s a half hour or so, usually, of quiet, alone time. And I am mostly “alone” when I am working, but there are other demands on me there, obviously.

One might say my easily recognized rejuvenation in just a few hours of quiet today reveals that in order to be more “me”… quiet and alone need to be on my schedule at some point.

And with God’s help—and Jen’s—so shall it be. 🙂

by Greg

All Quiet on the Western (NY) Front

empty-sabres-locker-room

The ice has been silent for a couple months now. The offseason football personnel moves have been made, and practices have come and gone.

The end of June brings near complete silence in the two worlds of professional sports in Buffalo, NY. In the 24/7/365 sports world that America seems to currently inhabit, this is definitely a unique time of the year!

The silence will end this weekend as the NHL Draft will take center stage. Not long after that will be the free agent “frenzy” that occurs every July. And at the end of the month, the Buffalo Bills will hold their first public practice of 2013 at St. John Fisher College, here in Rochester, NY.

But for now, the sports talk radio guys don’t have much to talk about during their sixty-eight hours every week of live programming, other than their own rumors and speculation. (It’s kinda funny, in a sad way…)

The Buffalo Sabres: Who’s Next?

The Sabres, who have missed the playoffs more than they have made them in the past five seasons or so, are “rebuilding”. Their management says it could be a painful process. (Nice vote of confidence!) But some teams have proven otherwise. A few recent Stanley Cup champs were at the bottom of the league—lower than the Sabres—just two to five seasons back. The turnaround could happen quicker than the most dire predictions predict.

The word on the street (or, rather, the internet) is that the draft on Sunday is rather deep. Like, three-rounds-of-great deep. That should be quite encouraging to Sabres fans, as the team has five picks in the first three rounds, and two star players that are very likely to be traded (for potentially more picks, as well as players). They are in a good position to really improve their team, and do so quickly.

There was talk of the team with the first overall pick being willing to make a trade, but that doesn’t look very likely; they plan to use it. And while Nathan MacKinnon seems like he’ll be a very good player (even Rick Jeanneret think so), there’s a young kid—only sixteen—who already has the signs of being “the next Sidney Crosby“.

With the draft, you never know. You really never know.

One thing we know for certain is that the Sabres will look pretty different in the 2013/2014 season. That began last year with the firing of Lindy Ruff, whom some figured to be the Sabres coach until he wanted to leave. Add to that the past two seasons of dumping core guys like Jason Pominville, Derek Roy, even Paul Gaustad… and then the potential trades of Ryan Miller and Thomas Vanek—this team will look different.

Hopefully they will also play “different”.

Buffalo Bills 2013

The Buffalo Bills: Retool Complete?

Speaking of “different”…

Just down the 219 in Orchard Park, NY, the Buffalo Bills have been not-so-quietly overhauling their franchise, as well. The swift changes started last December with the firing of Chan Gailey and his entire staff, and after a fairly exhaustive coaching search—even though it only lasted little more than a week—the Bills hired their new coach, Doug Marrone, and their feet have barely hit the ground since.

Last year’s QB Ryan Fitzpatrick—a four-year starter for the Bills—is gone, so are many of the players who have been around for a while here. Several veterans retired or were released, leaving a very young, very new-looking roster.

There are still some recognizable faces: CJ Spiller, Stevie Johnson, Mario Williams… but the Buffalo Bills are sporting a vastly new look, much like their Buffalo pro-sports cousins, the Sabres.

The Bills always start out with the somewhat severe handicap of playing in Bill Belichick and Tom Brady’s division, but things don’t look that great for them (on many levels). That leaves the Jets (Ha!) and the Dolphins, the latter having done some major retooling themselves this offseason.

So when football starts in earnest on July 28th for the Bills, there is really no telling what the new season will bring. Really. Of course, you never know what will come, but this year: new coaches, new defensive and offensive schemes, new general manager, new quarterback(s), and plenty of other new players at plenty of other positions.

These guys will be wearing the familiar uniforms of the Buffalo Bills, but in large part, they are a completely different team!

That seems to be the word for the Buffalo teams, huh?

Think Different

Apple used the phrase “Think different.” in the 1980s when they were the upstart, rebel computer company—which, eventually changed the technological world, no?

The Bills and Sabres are trying hard to copy that success in their own “different” ways.

While they have both become perennial losers—indeed, laughing stocks; Bills more than Sabres—they could both be on the fast track to being perennial contenders. They actually do both have some critical pieces in place for that, and certainly these completely new casts of characters.

I know I’m ever the optimist, but this really could be interesting…

Let’s go Buffalo!

(Ahem… when everything starts up again, I mean…) 🙂

by Greg

The Bible Tells Me So

Old Bible Cover“Yes, Jesus loves me… The Bible tells me so!”

Perhaps you sang those words just now as you read them because they are indelibly engrained upon your soul from countless repetitions in your early childhood. (And maybe you still sing them regularly with your own kids.)

It’s a great song, and it’s true.

The Bible does tell me that Jesus loves me. In many different ways, through all of the books; this central message reverberates: the God who is made me and loves me and invites me to Life with him.

Sometimes it’s fascinating to me how differently we apparently see and interact with the Bible.

What is the Bible? Is it a reference manual for Christian living? Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth? Those things have definitely been said of this collection of ancient books.

Rather than a Owner’s Guide or User’s Manual, might it be a collection of stories God wanted to tell us … with him as the main character? Does God reveal who he is through the story that weaves its way through dozens of authors over many centuries, even millennia?

Stories seemed to be Jesus favorite vehicle for communicating the meaningful.

How about this one: Is it infallible? Does it ever claim to be? Does it need to be?

I mentioned in my post about heretical thinking earlier this week that sometimes I have even questioned the reasons for inclusion of certain books in the cannon of what we call Scripture. The Catholics have additional books of “Scripture”, as do the Latter-Day Saints. (Though there are certainly differences there as the Catholic apocrypha was from a similar era as the books that are accepted as inspired Scripture while the Book of Mormon and other additional books included by LDS believers are from a later point in history—at least their translation.)

Here’s the thing, though… how much of all that matters?

I have been reading through the Bible, cover-to-cover for a little over a year now. (The slow pace due partly to meandering through various other points in Scripture simultaneously, as well as, of course, many other books. There’s only so much time in a day, you know!) In this current journey through its pages I am reading many familiar verses and stories, as well as many I don’t think I have ever actually read. (Certainly not in their proper context.)

What strikes me the most is the story. Flowing through the entirety of Scripture are small stories and big stories, all telling a larger story.

God so loved the world that before anything ever existed, he knew you intimately, and orchestrated a grand plan to allow us to realize his boundless love for all of mankind—and each individual Image Bearer—and to restore a friendship with him that we didn’t even know was irreparably damaged. (Irreparable from our vantage point.)

Story after story reveals the struggle between we of free will and limited knowledge, understanding, and vision … and he of limitless patience, kindness, mercy—our Father, who dearly loves his children. And we who only barely understand Love, struggle to understand Him—for He is Love.

I am re-learning that Scripture really can not be seen as a giant reference guide of proof texts. And it’s certainly not a how-to manual for bringing judgment upon the world, or even upon yourself.

Nor is it to be venerated or worshipped. It’s a book. (A library, might be more accurate.)

Anything we set up between us and our Creator (including the Bible, “Christian” discipline, and even “church” activities and involvement) can become an idol that ends up keeping us from the full life God intends for us when our eyes (and hearts) are fixed on him.

And one thing I have learned from this tour through the Old Testament: God does not like idolatry!

So we will take verses like:

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.—2 Timothy 3:16

Above all, you must realize that no prophecy in Scripture ever came from the prophet’s own understanding, or from human initiative. No, those prophets were moved by the Holy Spirit, and they spoke from God.—2 Peter 1:20-21

And we say that these prove that the Bible is infallible. But do they? Paul is reminding Timothy, his student/disciple that Scripture is useful; I certainly agree there, don’t you? And Peter says that prophets were inspired by God. Again, no argument there.

But I’m not sure God himself (nor the pages of Scripture) claim infallibility nor inerrancy, do they? Perhaps the test of prophecies being that all will be proven true as a proof of the origin of the messages—that being from the Creator God, the God of Israel.

And still, I think I digress. As this topic of conversation is so wont to do.

When we make the Bible (and discussions of these books) about being right or wrong, we just get lost in endless quarrels. So many fractured opinions and vehement discourse to prove one point or another end up making Christians and their church look like it does today: silly.

I will maintain that all of Scripture is useful, even the giant sections that give every messy, gory detail of our own ugliness. Not just the things we proudly label sin like murder, lust, idolatry, rape, incest, greed, deceit and betrayal (and many more) … but our lack of faith in vividly displayed, our repeatedly running to idols and our own strength and knowledge rather than abiding in Father’s Life and Love.

This is why, as Christians, and living in the age we now inhabit, Jesus is the decoder ring. Everything else makes a bit more sense when we start with him.

The book of Hebrews1 says that God spoke in many ways through history, but his final and fullest revelation was through his son, Jesus. And also we learn and see that he is the full representation of God himself. The Word became flesh, and dwelt among us. God himself, as a man. We don’t get his messages second-hand through angels and/or prophets: he came to us.

Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father! So why are you asking me to show him to you? Don’t you believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words I speak are not my own, but my Father who lives in me does his work through me. Just believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me. Or at least believe because of the work you have seen me do.2

If you’re reading the Bible like a manual, or an reference book—please stop. First, you’re missing out on the bigger, fuller story. You might even be missing out on Jesus:

“You search the Scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to me! 40 Yet you refuse to come to me to receive this life.”—John 5:24

It’s so easy to do. I think we all do it. I mean, how magically incredible is this book we call the Bible? Really! Preserved nearly flawlessly over millennia, and with enemies trying to wipe it out: but it is the most ubiquitous book still today.

But the Bible is not our source of life, Jesus is.

And, it’s important to remember that we have a direct connection to Truth in Jesus’ gift of the Holy Spirit. Remember this?

But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true—it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.—1 John 2:27

Holy Spirit will teach us everything. It’s always nice to have a tutor. (Especially when the tutor is the finest teacher ever!)

The Bible is a beautiful story, and we can glean so much life through its pages, through the stories told there, and especially the central story told throughout of our God’s ever-present love and care for his people. (That’s all of us, not just those born into the family of Jacob, as they used to imagine.)

It’s not about rules, or doctrine. It’s about Him. I highly recommend reading it like a book, like a story…

And look for the signs of Life as they weave in and out of His story.

God’s story, with us.

Incredible.

For further reading, here’s an article I found a real long time ago: Why "The Bible is our Instruction Manual" is the Worst Metaphor in the History of the World | The Ruthless MonkThe Ruthless Monk.

Also, one last note: For what it’s worth, I really do recommend reading in large chunks. There is certainly a place for detailed, intricate, line-by-line study, but there’s also great treasure to be found in reading through whole books at a time, or at least larger chunks. Then string books together back-to-back over a few days or weeks. When I read Scripture like this, the bigger story is much more evident, and I see God moving in his characteristic, Jesus-shown ways through the whole of history. Different voices, echoing the same story: God loves me.

  1. Hebrews 1-4 Yes… all four chapters! Reading in big chunks gives better context. 🙂 ↩
  2. John 14-17 (Again, read the whole thing. Chock full of greatness!) ↩
by Greg

Nothing To Prove

Enjoying the sunImagine with me, please, that we are all free. There’s nothing to prove—ever.

I don’t have to defend my spoken thoughts to you, nor those I neglected to speak, though you wished I had.

You don’t have to explain yourself to me, either. And both of us are able to freely express what we think and feel and believe, without any threat of being shunned or belittled, or even just misunderstood.

What if we could all just relax in each other’s presence? I can be who I am, and equally enjoy who you are; no rules, no games, no pretense. Just be.

Pipe dream? Perhaps.

But maybe it’s not completely impossible.

Step Aside

In order for this to be the norm, rather than just a fanciful dream, the first thing that has to happen is we have to get over ourselves.

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. —Galatians 2:20

…when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death[.] For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. —Romans 8:3-4

…he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? —Matthew 6:30

You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price.—1 Corinthians 6:19-20

If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. —Matthew 10:39

There are so many more examples in Scripture, but I’ll leave you to find those on your own1.

The gist here is: we’re dead. I no longer live, Christ lives in me.

We are no longer in the picture. When we unite ourselves with Jesus, we are no longer the central character in the story. (Not sure we ever were?)

Baptism is a very clear picture of this transaction. We are buried (dead)2, and then clothed with Christ3, and raised now in him, to our new life4. A life lived out in him.

So it’s not Greg who needs to get that thing right anymore, it’s Jesus. It’s not Greg who is hurt if he is perceived incorrectly, because I’m “safe” in Jesus. It’s not Greg who must live up to people’s expectations, because Jesus already fully accepts me, as I am.

No Agendas

The flip side of this is that if I am free indeed by God’s grace (John 8:36) but you are not… then what? What if you are really annoying? Or just plain wrong! Don’t I have to stand up for what is right? Don’t I need to correct you, or put you in your place, or nudge—or shove—you into right action?

No. I don’t. We don’t.

While it is definitely true that so much of our unhealthy, uncomfortable relating can be traced back to our desire to protect our own image, or reputation, or attempting to avoid hurt or embarrassment. We are so often far too much in the way of our own living.

BUT… the other large piece is our need to control.

This is actually quite connected to our own self preserving. Not controlling is much scarier, much less certain, much more vulnerable. And so we often implement our agendas for the people we are with, becoming coy masters of manipulation!

It’s usually not overt. But it can be. That’s easy to spot. The non-overt agendas are the most damaging, and are a big cause of uncomfortable feelings5.

It is often uncomfortable to allow someone to be different from me.

This almost certainly comes back to me thinking of myself still—rather than being dead, as I really am—and feeling too uncertain and vulnerable with someone who may not accept me, since it’s now obvious that I’m different.

But who says that’s how the Other is thinking?

No Fear

I remember being at a retreat one time, where—when invited—people began confessing their struggles to each other. Nearly everyone was timid, even scared at first. I can’t really be open! What would people think of me if they knew [fill in the disgusting blank]??? But as the first brave soul fully opened up, kicking Fear in the face, there was only warm reception, lots of sympathetic nods of understanding, and…

Plenty more kicking Fear in the face.

By the end of this time that began as an orchestrated, planned event, the entire room had bonded deeply and the rest of that weekend was so free and happy, and deeply enjoyable.

Why? Because one person was willing to be fully vulnerable. Unafraid. Completely open and honest about what felt like forbidden, innermost secrets. Then, because there is amazing power in vulnerability, everyone in the room breathed deeply of grace and mercy and enjoyed beautiful relationship with fellow broken people.

We are all broken—hurt, slave to some past or fear or habit or addiction, or just a big fat jerk.

It’s time to stop pretending.

It’s so easy to forget that everyone else is like me. And then miss the fullness of life when I “cling to my life”. (My “life” being my reputation, or public image, or whatever it might be that I imagine defines me.)

It’s Really Simple

It’s always amazing to me how simple this is. Somehow it comes down to this every time.

  1. God Loves ME. It’s not a song, not a holy platitude… it’s real. And it matters the most. Remember this? “[P]erfect love expels all fear”6
  2. I Need Him. I was made to be with him, in him. I am not OK without him. And he likes me. Invites me to join him on this crazy ride of life.
  3. TRUST HIM. This one should flow easily from the first two… but it is never easy. Simple, yes. Easy, definitely no. It involves consciously, daily “taking up our cross” and denying ourselves—becoming less—so that we can live more.

It’s so crazy that it always comes back to trusting Him more and me less. Every single area of life.

So the less I hang onto me, and the need to keep up my image or my reputation—the less I “cling to my life”—the more enjoyable it will be for others to be around me. AND, the more that is true—even if no one else around me “gets” that, or lives that—well, it might turn out that other people are more free and relaxed and enjoyable because in my own self-absence, I have no agenda for you either!

What a concept!

Now, listen. A lot of this is speaking in some pretty large generalities. We are very complex. I don’t even pretend to imagine that I have “the answer” for living a life with “nothing to prove”.

But I do know I am loved.
And I do know that you are, too.

And I so want to live that way. Every day.

I just need to remember I have nothing to prove.

And neither do you.

  1. One time, when I was teaching an adult Sunday School class, fresh out of Bible college, I was referencing Scriptures to help make the points of the lesson for the day, and a very good-natured but oft contentious older man—older than me, in my very early twenties then—was finally so exasperated with my repeatedly answering his questions with Scripture verses, he blurted out, “Please! No more Scripture!” I was stunned to silence for several seconds, but as he decided to back down a bit, I finally regained my composure and continued with my lesson on what the Bible said about a great many things… (Which is hard to do without Scripture!) ↩
  2. Romans 6 (Yes, read the whole chapter! Hey, why not the whole book!) ↩
  3. Galatians 3:27: And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. ↩
  4. Colossians 2:12: For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead. ↩
  5. Example: I begin to feel uncomfortable because you are different than me. You are a Patriots fan. Like, a real Patriots fan. You not only adore Tom Brady, you even like Bill Belichick! I am a Bills fan, and Bills fans can not tolerate anyone who would even acknowledge the rightful existence of the New England franchise. So I begin to harass you, and attempt to embarrass you. Subtly, of course, so as to protect my own image. I mean, I’m not a bad guy… but you… like… Well! That’s just wrong! ↩
  6. 1 John 4:17-19 for context. ↩
by Greg

Question With Boldness

Thomas JeffersonThough most people nowadays can conceive of no better poster child for agnosticism (or, at the very least, deism), Jefferson himself may have had a bone to pick with such people.

In a letter to his nephew, on the topic of forming his own views on religion (a topic which he labeled “important”), Thomas Jefferson wrote the following, now reasonably well-known words:

Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.

(Somewhat of an aside: My favorite quote from Thomas Jefferson’s autobiography regarding his own faith, “…I am a REAL CHRISTIAN…”. Well that about says it.) 🙂

There are (many) times when I think my being appropriately labeled a “Christian” might be questioned by those who determine such things. I believe I’ve written about my borderline-heretical thinking at least once or twice.

In fact, just the other day I was reading through the Old Testament book of Ezekiel and wondering things like, “Wow, this voice of God does not seem to be the same as even the book of Jeremiah, one book before—and he seemed pretty peeved in that book, too! I wonder if some of the books in what we call the Bible are even supposed to be in there? Who says that council got it right?”

Now, proceed with caution here. I am NOT SAYING that I unequivocally, irrevocably believe and hold to be fact that such questions even might be “true” (in the black-and-white sense of “true”) …

But perhaps my reason for such an emphasized statement above is that, in dealing with things of God, it’s sometimes considered heresy merely to question.

And, folks, that is plain wrong. Really, really wrong.

So, I may be a heretic, but I’m going to keep questioning.

Turns out, by the end of Ezekiel there was some really neat stuff in there kinda flipping the “rules and regulations” voice of God (being interpreted through Ezekiel) on its head. Chapter forty-seven has a really neat image of God abiding in a temple from which living water flows, giving life to everything it touches, including dead things. Hmm… the Living Water… giving Life… where have I heard those things before…?

I believe Thomas Jefferson had it right when he urged his nephew to throw away all bias and personal opinion and really dig into the facts, evidences, truths, and his own reason. Think. Don’t be afraid of the truth (or that it might not be the truth). Find, and know what is true. This is important! To know and understand the Creator is much more important than anything else.

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. —John 10:10

I am the way, the truth, and the life. —John 14:6

And this is the way to have eternal life—to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth. —John 17:3

We believe in education in this home. Not school, or curriculum—although those can have their place.

Real education. Seek out original sources; find people who are not only knowledgeable but passionate about a subject and learn from them (whether in person, or through recorded words); then, find someone else and hear other voices. Putting all of these pieces together, along with your God-given intellect (reason), and asking the Spirit to guide the entire process. (He is the one who teaches us, after all.)

Question with boldness, even the very existence of God.

And the world—starting with you—will be better for it.

If you wondered about that “I am a REAL CHRISTIAN” quote from Thomas Jefferson, here’s the full text of his introduction to what some call the “Jefferson Bible” (but he titled otherwise). It should give an even more convincing context to that quote!

I have made a wee little book from the Gospels which I call the Philosophy of Jesus. It is a paradigma of his doctrines, made by cutting the texts out of the book and arranging them on the pages of a blank book, in a certain order of time or subject. A more beautiful or precious morsel of ethics I have never seen. It is a document in proof that I am a REAL CHRISTIAN, that is to say, a disciple of the doctrines of Jesus, very different from the Platonists, who call ME the infidel and THEMSELVES Christians and preachers of the Gospel, while they draw all of their characteristic dogmas from what its author never said nor saw. They have compounded from the heathen mysteries a system beyond the comprehension of man, of which the great reformer of the vicious ethics and deism of the Jews, were he to return on earth, would not recognize one feature. (Thomas Jefferson: In His Own Words, Maureen Harrison & Steve Gilbert, editors. ©1993 Excellent Books, New York, NY.)

by Greg

Jen

Yesterday was not a great day. There was not any one particular reason for it being “not great”; or maybe there are too many to bother with detailed listing.

After all the children were in their beds, I grabbed a book and collapsed in my own bed, allowing the story to distract my mind and heart from all it had toiled over throughout the day.

Not too much later, Jen arrived in our room and asked how I was doing. We talked a bit (which I usually do love) and she shortly thereafter climbed into bed (clumb? clambed?) with me and just gently placed her arm on my shoulder and back, tenderly caressing while she read her own book.

In those moments, and even throughout the day as Jen expressed her concern for me, I was so well aware of how much I love her, and how much I love our life together.

I am so thankful for my Jen.

greg-jen-now

Now, please don’t get me wrong… our life is full of hurt, and disappointment, and misunderstandings, and brokenness, and even pride and selfishness and uglinesses of that sort. Jen is not perfect. Nor am I.

But in the midst of a day with six children to care for, much less of their father helping, and the rest of life to deal with, Jen repeatedly took time to care for me.

You may not realize this, but, being the home schooling mom (or, just… the mom!) to six young people is what some could rightly call and “arduous task”. Not that it’s bad, nor that she’d choose to do anything other than that. But, it’s plenty taxing.

greg-jen-thenSo many long years ago, I got to know this beautiful young woman named Jen, and I loved being with her. The sweetness and depth of her spirit, the glow of her smile, the rich sounds of her frequent laughter, and even then, feeling like she cared about me. She’s quite a good listener. Always has been.

Life has thrown its punches at us, at her. And the amazing thing is, even though we can’t even really count the number of knockdowns anymore, she just keeps getting back up; she keeps pressing on.

I love her. I just wanted to say that here, out loud.

We’ve known each other for a little over twenty years. We’ll be married for sixteen of those this coming October. Not being omniscient, I can’t know how many more we’ll get to enjoy together—maybe fifty, like my aunt and uncle are now celebrating… or sixty-seven like my grandparents celebrated in April? 100?—but however many it may be, I am so glad that God decided to bring Jen to me.

And he brought her to the man. —Genesis 2:22

I love you, Jen.

by Greg

Pray… Why?

pray

Do you ever wonder why we pray? I mean, God is love, he’s all knowing, he’s sovereign, omni-everything, right? So… why should I reiterate what he already knows, especially since he also knows what comes next?

Yes. So have I.

In fact, I often wonder all of that while I am praying.

It happens when I make nearly every request of any kind. “God, my friend’s grandma has so many health issues right now … which… you already know, but… well, it would be nice if you could, I mean… I know you CAN… so, they’d like for her to be healed, obviously… except, if you know a reason—I mean, of course you DO have a reason, and know one… if you do…—for her to not be healed, then we want that, instead of what we’re asking. I’m pretty sure. InJesusNameAmen.”

Something like that.

But, really… if God knows everything, and we really do trust him with all that we are (and whatever is, and is to come) then… why do we pray?

Some of Jesus’ most famous words are what is commonly referred to as “The Lord’s Prayer”. He precedes this “Lord’s Prayer” with the words, “When you pray… you should pray like this:”

That sounds important. We like “How To”s.

Our Father in heaven,
may your name be kept holy.

OK. Holy. Different. Other. Remember that we are not God, that he is, and keep our perspective properly calibrated. Got it.

May your Kingdom come soon.
May your will be done on earth,
as it is in heaven.

It really can be lousy here sometimes. So I understand why we should ask for this. But every time? Maybe it is a perspective thing again? It does remind us that we are not in control. We don’t get to pick when God’s Kingdom will exist “on earth, as it does in heaven”.

We really don’t. Have you seen the news lately? The crazy abortion guy in Philadelphia? The government is getting more and more intrusive, says the NSA Whistleblower? Hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes… deaths and destruction? The Middle East is always on fire, everyone wanting everyone else dead (and working hard to make it happen).

Yuck. And that’s just the “world out there”. Don’t we all have our own messes?

Yep. We do.

I’m definitely on board with this, “May your Kingdom come soon” part.

Give us today the food we need,

OK, daily provision. Not a week’s (or month’s!) worth of food in the fridge and freezer and pantry… daily food. Sounds like another reminder for us that we need God. More perspective.

Apparently Jesus knows we need lots of perspective adjustment each time we talk with God?

and forgive us our sins,
as we have forgiven those who sin against us.

Huh. Look at that. More perspective setting.

First, we are sinners. (Forgive our sin…) That’s perspective right there. I don’t have it all together. I’m not without blame, error, nor evil.

But the second part is the other perspective setter: forgive as we forgive others who have wronged us.

Hmm. So our own forgiveness (before we even get to ask God about what we were praying for in the first place …) is dependent upon how forgiving we are to people who are mean to us?

Looks like it.

But I don’t think it’s just God saying, “Lalalalala.. I’m not LIST-en-ing…. until you forgive your brother! Oh, and your neighbors, too, while you’re at it.” I think we’re back to the perspective setting. How can we ask for, and expect God to forgive our wrongs when we won’t do the same for somebody else?

We really can’t.

And don’t let us yield to temptation,
but rescue us from the evil one.

Satan. The Evil One. One, not just … evil, as a generic term. So another perspective adjustment, this time to remember that our battle is not with flesh and blood, but a very real, spiritual one.

I understand. Paul says this in Galatians:

“So I advise you to live according to your new life in the Holy Spirit. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The old sinful nature loves to do evil, which is just opposite from what the Holy Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are opposite from what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, and your choices are never free from this conflict. (Gal 5:16-17)

Everyday, all day there is a war inside me. One side wanting to serve self, the other to deny self; preferring submission to Spirit, and often to others.

It makes sense, then, to first remember the battle exists, and is ongoing, and also to ask for help standing up against it.

Wait. What? Where’s the rest? Where’s the, “And please help Aunt Mary…” or the “And I need a [fill in the need blank]…”?

They aren’t there.

Jesus did perhaps add “For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.” That line is in some manuscripts we have, and not in others.

But there is still not a “Insert your [real] requests here…” part.

Fascinating, huh?

So Jesus said, “When you pray, pray like this.” And nearly all of it is just perspective rebuilding. Maybe it’s just important that we remember (1) there is a powerful, loving God, and (2) you’re not him.

(Neither am I.)

So, for the sake of context, In the previous paragraphs, Jesus makes sure that his disciples know that praying is not for show. In fact, he says pray in your closet. (Do you do that? I don’t think I ever have…) He also says don’t “babble on and on”. More words does not mean more power. Apparently, it’s not like having more raffle tickets gets you a better chance of winning the prize.

And later on, in the next chapter (chapters being as we have divided them, post-Jesus) he gets back to the topic of prayer with these words:

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.

So … don’t use a lot of words, but… ask a lot? Not sure what Jesus is trying to say here, other than trust your Father.

Maybe that is all he’s trying to say?

God is good. (And he is God.) He loves you, far better than even the best dad could. He’s listening, and wants to forgive wrongs, and protect from future bad choices.

Remind us who we are, and who you are, God.

And that’s how—and why—to pray.

by Greg

Opposite World

I’m different. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

I know we’re all unique. (And since unique means ‘one of a kind’, well then, how can there be a ‘different’—since there is no ‘normal’, nor ‘standard’?)

But I’m really different.

It’s quite nearly every single thing that could possible be ‘different’.

Allow me to list a few examples:

  • I love cold and dark weather.
  • The contents of my pockets are opposite from most everyone else I know.
  • I drink tea, not coffee.
  • All alcohol is offensive to me. (Aside from rubbing alcohol, I suppose…)
  • I tend to fit the female “profile” more than the male (too many ways to list in this format)
  • I prefer books over movies.
  • I like audio over video.
  • I don’t even get “fads” or “trends” (especially in clothes, but really in all things)
  • I home school my kids.
  • I am in Jesus, and his church, but I do not align myself with any “named” organization you’d think of as “church”.
  • I don’t vote any party line.
  • I can’t be not real. I think “can’t” might actually be accurate.
  • I really care nothing for money.
  • I also care nothing for fame. (In fact, I’d rather not have any particular attention paid to me.)

I’m not completely a freak. I mean… I do like NHL hockey (there are a handful of people who are in that boat with me), I have a Facebook account (again, not in the minority there), and I’m a huge Buffalo Bills fan.

Oh yeah… that one should probably go in that list above… 🙂

SO, I am not sure why God decided to make me his prime example of the Opposite World, but there must be some design in it. He calls me (along with all of you) his “masterpiece”, so …

The good thing is, it kinda matches Jesus.

The greatest of all is the servant of all? Lose your life to gain it? Turn the other cheek? He who is without sin cast the first stone?

Yeah. That kind of opposite.

Maybe we’re meant to be at least a little opposite. Are there ways you feel “opposite”, or backwards, or different, or strangely unique? If not … are there ways you wish you were, and are just afraid of what other people might think if they knew you were “strangely unique”?

Jesus didn’t seem to care about what other people thought of him.

Except one time.

His disciples were telling him that people were talking about him. They were saying he was the reincarnation of their favorite prophet, looking for some way to label him.

Jesus probably nodded, taking in what they were saying, and then he turned their story back to them with a simple question: “Who do you say that I am?”

Maybe in that question we can hear that it doesn’t really matter what other people think. It matters what you think.

God definitely made me “different”. But you are, too. You are unique. There’s something about you that he loves more than any of his other creations.

It’s the “you” part.

I’d wager I’m not the only one living in Opposite World. For some reason it frequently becomes obvious just how blatantly opposite I am, but I know I’m not alone.

In whatever way you are you … be that. Live it. Enjoy it.

There’s always plenty of room here in Opposite World!

by Greg

Allowing For The Process

seedling

Sometimes I’m really, really impatient. Also short-sighted, selfish, and in general unwilling to let others—even those I love the most—enjoy the blessings that I have received and thrived upon throughout my life.

Yikes. That really doesn’t sound good!

But it’s (in a way) really true.

God is reminding me recently that he is patient beyond comprehension. He understands the various processes of life. Learning, growing, grieving, maturing… many “ing”s take time. Lots of time.

And at times, I think I’d prefer we skip to the good part: the end!

But everything worthwhile takes time. You can’t have the delicious, sun-ripened fruit without many weeks of heat and quiet toil. You don’t get the good end without the process.

Our lives are like that. It’s always amazing to look back and see what God has brought us through, and where he’s brought us to through all of those things. We learn from our own decisions and their consequences, and we learn from events we’re thrown into in the chaos of life (through no fault or credit of our own). Everything along the way shapes who we are.

Parenting is like that. As a dad, I can not just shape my kids into who they will be. I thinkI do have a good deal of influence, but in the end, each of my kids is a unique individual, created by God for a life-long journey with him. Their own life-long journey.

Sometimes I tire of repeating the same instructions to each of my kids… many times, daily. I wish they would just get it! Think of someone besides yourself! Be a peacemaker! Be kind to your brother/sister! Will you please just listen to what I say?

But it’s a process. A long, slow process.

Just like I have been allowed to have.

I’m far from a perfect parent. That’s for sure. I am going to need to receive many reminders that I am not the Potter in my kids’ lives. I am not the one moulding them into the masterpiece they were made to be.

My father is. (No, not you Dad… I mean your father, too. No… not Grandpa…)

Each of us has a journey, and we’re each led (personally, individually) by our Maker, Shepherd, Father… he’s many things, he’s everything.

And he’s got a plan.

If you’re frustrated with the process right now, just take a deep breath. Talk to the One you’re following and enjoy the place, the moment that he has you in.

Then—even more difficult sometimes—do the same for the people around you. Maybe your kids, or your spouse. Maybe just a good friend of yours. Stop meddling. Leave room for the process, and the Sculptor.

Allowing for the process will produce the greatest results. (I’m not even sure there’s anything else we can do, really! We are not the ones in control, that’s for sure!)

So breathe. Relax. And marvel at the process. In your own life, and also in the lives of the people around you.

Maybe another place to find the fun!