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by Greg

American Idol

I didn’t finish the story…

We watched for about 30 minutes last night before we (perhaps just I) figured out that Joe was going to be on the show they moved from tonight to tomorrow night. 🙂

So, if you want to see our friend on TV… tune in tonight at 9pm on Fox. He’s “the lead role in the music video/Ford commercial with the idols.” That’s what he says.

Go Joe! 🙂

by Greg

No Other Gods

Believe it or not, I finally succumbed to national peer pressure last night. I had resisted for a long time now, standing my ground like a good soldier. My resolve was firm. I would not give in. My TV would not tune in American Idol. But, last night I did.

Now, it’s different than you might think. 🙂 The reason we were watching last night is a friend of ours from college Joe Boyd, e-mailed (well, his wife did) and let his friends know he got a spot on that very network TV show! So, we figured one night couldn’t hurt us. 🙂

(OK, it wasn’t that bad… but I won’t be tuning in any more shows, unless other friends are on it…) 🙂

If you, like me before last night have never seen it, during the course of the show there are little one to one and a half minute versions of popular tunes that these young unknowns belt out with all their might, and then a panel of three judges lets them know what they thought. Sometimes humorous, sometimes accurate, they rate the performances. Then, I guess America does as well at the end of the show, as people can vote for their favorites by phone.

During one of the performances in the middle, there was a young guy singing about a girl without whom he’d be incomplete. Typical love song. We were created to love, and sometimes we can be quite good at it. We can see the absolute best in someone else, even if perhaps they can’t. We buy flowers, present gifts, even write songs. (Or at least sing them.)

Now, I am a song writer. And I have actually written a song or two about/to my beautiful wife, Jen. I love her. That’s why. 🙂 BUT, I have also thought many a time… I can’t write any song with the emotion of a song I write for God because, I love him most. How could I love anyone more? He loves me completely – even more than completely?? – even knowing everything about me. So I always thought it silly that everyone writes love songs to a guy or a girl that they have or don’t have. In a way, I thought it was idolatry.

A lot of Christians might agree with me. I was reading a book last night – good book, by the way.. AND it was a 99¢ find at Book Warehouse in Savannah, GA… one of our favorite bookstores! – and he was talking about loving people. That we need to love people to show them how much God loves them. And then it struck me. We have such a clinical approach to loving people. We are surrogate lovers for God, who is obviously incapable of loving them, so we need to out of obligation step in and help out. Perhaps that is to condemning, but I do believe we look at it that way at times.

Why can’t we love someone, just because they are amazing as God created them. Even the “unlovable”? Jesus loved them. He spent much of his time with the people that everyone else hated, or thought to be worthless. Because he was God? perhaps… But I think more because he really loved people. It wasn’t duty, or obligation. He was not “ministering” to them. Not a conduit for God’s love. HE LOVED THEM.

I do believe that God said we were “very good” (Gen 1), and that are made in his image. I believe that even though we on our own can not attain perfection (like God), he has made us to be like him (I am not sure the fullness of that statement, but he says we’re made in his image…) So I think that just as we are built to love God with all we are, that another of his creation – another human – is worthy of OUR love as well… not our love as a substitute for God.

What if I said to Ian, “I love you Ian,” and then quickly tagged on, “… because God does. He loves you very much, and so, I do.” Would that make Ian feel all warm and fuzzy inside? A little. But what about when I just tell him that I love him??? OK, too easy you say? He’s my son? Of course I love him? Well, what about my wife, before she was my wife? In a quiet moment… just the two of us… enjoying the company of one another. In the moment, I let her know, “I love you Jen,” and with deep sincerity, I add, “BECAUSE God loves you, and he wants you to know he loves you!” Ha! That would have been awesome! NO!!! I love Jen because I see in her the coolness that God put into her! SHE is awesome (that’s what HE thinks, isn’t it??!) WELL… SO DO I!!!

So am I being idolatrous? Putting someone else “before God”? You know, if we let our hearts go too far in loving someone or something, that makes it a god, and God said to have no other “gods” before him. I remember hearing as a kid that Coke could be your “god” if you like it too much.

Why are we so insane???

To love someone, really love them, not to serve out of obligation or duty, but to truly love someone is not idolatry… it’s not worshipping them. And it doesn’t even have to be a spouse or a child. The story in the book I read was about a homeless guy the author had met a few times. He gave him lunch as a second thought because he felt like he should. And he admitted as much at the end of the story… but he still said he needed to love the man to show him that God loves him. And I say, “No!” We can and should love each other because God made us all loveable. Somehow he does. Despite any of our messed-up-ness.

SO, while American Idol unabashedly sets up people to be worshipped, even calling them idols… 🙂 I was reminded how valuable each person God created really is. So do something nice, love with your words… even sing a love song for someone today. (Preferably save the love song for your spouse, if you’re married…) 🙂

They’re worth it.

by Greg

You Don’t Know Until You’ve Tried…

My son Alex is a blast. He is the middle child (currently?) and so as all middle children will probably attest, he is often overlooked in some ways. We have album upon album of photos of Ian (our first) and have been taking lots of our little girl, because, well… she’s a girl! She’s cute! 🙂 Ian is incredibly intelligent, and as the firstborn, is always reaching new milestones first. So we often shower him with accolades. Kirsten is the baby right now, and again… a girl… so… she gets her share of attention.

But despite these apparent set-backs, Alex does not get lost in the cracks very easily! He’s a RIOT! He says and does the funniest things. I am cracking up as I type this! He’s SO fun and crazy and loud and silly and great in every way!

Today, I was watching a movie with the boys in our little cubby in the attic (my office)… it was quite a unique set up! And as we were Alex was climbing on me, and then he wanted to just stroke my hair. As he was doing it, he said, “You like that, Dad?” with very sweet, innocent, loving look on his face. Now, I actually didn’t really like what he was DOING, but I loved why he was doing it, and I love him… and it was a cool moment.

This is the same boy that I had to yell at at 4:50am this morning for repeatedly waking up (and whining!) for no apparent reason all night. The same boy upon whose rear end I dole out physical consequences for his repeatedly foolish actions. The same boy who has seen the full wrath of his much larger father…

And he still loves me. A lot.

I have a friend who thinks that it is a selfish act to procreate. (Not the act… the end… 🙂 I understand logically his thinking. He says there are too many people on the planet now, and lots without a home, a family… if you NEED to have kids, you should adopt. And, I agree with him that adoption is one of the most amazingly selfLESS acts one can carry out, but it is preposterous to say that deciding to be a parent (whatever role we actually have in that decision) is a selfISH act.

Jen is tired. She is a Mom of THREE young kids. I am tired. I am the Dad. 🙂 There are lots of things we have given up for our kids… things we would do or have. And did you know… they cost a LOT!!! 🙂

But all of that is so worth it for the moments like the attic. Or hearing Ian say, “It’s OK, Dad” after reading my St. Patty’s Day blog. And then with genuineness he said, “I love you, Dad!”

It’s so worth it.

I suppose if that is the only reason I wanted kids, was expecting moments like those, I suppose that could be selfish. But let me tell you… they are NOT expected! After all of the work that goes into shaping these little people… you wouldn’t think they’d like me at all! 🙂

But they do. And I love them so much.

You can’t know until you’ve tried. Kids will change your whole view of life. It is incredible the love I have for them. And even moreso the love they have in return. Unmerited, but unwavering.

So go ahead and procreate! You don’t know how great it is till you’ve tried!

(that was a funny sentence…) 🙂

by Greg

St. Patty’s Day

The entire month of March, my 6-yr old son has been counting down the days till the 17th of March. For some reason this year, still unbeknownst to us, he was really excited about that day. He had plans for what to wear, what to do, what to eat. For himself and all of us in his family. It was going to be quite a day!

Well, we had some fun, made a green and white cake and said lots of “Happy St. Patrick’s Day!”-s to each other. And Jen taught a bit about the man named Patrick during the homeschool time for the day.

But this past Thursday also happened to be one of the busiest days for me workload-wise in recent memory. I can not say exactly why… the schedule of the surrounding days necessitated longer hours, trying to get more done on the Thursday of this particular week. And I did! Boy, let me tell you! I accomplished large task after large task – revamping our website, replying to e-mails that were weeks old, and generally conquering every new challenge that I came across that day. I was unstoppable!

About 11:30 at night, an hour or so after the boys had gone to bed, I was in the bathroom, getting ready for bed myself and I realized that the Thursday I had just lived – the busiest one in recent memory – was the day my little boy had been looking forward to all month. Somehow, until that moment, after it was all finished, never to be recovered, I had missed that. Even when I had partaken somewhat begrudgingly in a few of the festivities for the day. I had forgotten. I missed it.

I felt awful. As I do now typing this. Why do we miss things like that??? How do we miss the important stuff? Everything I did that day was important, needed to be done, and hopefully will help our family and lots of people in lots of ways. But, I missed the day chosen by my son to be special.

I know I will get more chances. Hopefully that moment in the bathroom will not be forgotten, and when another special day comes around, I will make that the priority of the day.

So, Ian… Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Sorry I mostly missed this one. Looking forward to our next special day together. I love you! 🙂

(By the way, he really will read this… he’s smart like that… just like his Mom) 🙂

by Greg

Still Having Fun…

Sorry… couldn’t resist. 🙂

There is a site (FetchBook.info) that searches the internet for books and shows a price comparison chart for all of the places it was found. I was looking for a book we needed to buy, and couldn’t resist looking up my new book… and it found it!!!!!!

Click the link below to see where you can buy my book. (Best deal is still to buy right here at GregsHead.net. 🙂

A Journey Shared: Selected Thoughts on Life from Greg’s Head…: Compare Prices

by Greg

Optimum Performance

Studying the eyes of my one-year-old daughter gave me a glimpse of the battle we face all of our lives. One tiny moment in the middle of nothing all that special was a window to truth far greater than a moment.

For the hundredth time that day I was defining her boundaries. You parents know the tireless testing of boundaries by those little hands. There never seems to be an end to the string of “No!”s coming from your lips. At varying volumes according to your current level of frustration with the whole process.

Well, this particular instance was not all that forceful, just another “No” to continue building her fence of restrictions. But this time, I noticed her face when I told her. There appeared to be in her eyes a glint of recognition. Not so much a recognition of the specific limit in question, but of the whole concept of the word “No”. No meant more than a simple boundary. In this case, it represented her standing with Dad. In that tiny little mind, I think I saw the first processings of performance-based approval. Her look made me think, “Oh no, I’m teaching her to understand her worth based on my approval of her actions!” Realizing, of course, that she could not possibly have been thinking that at such a young age, but her eyes just seemed to be conveying that simple cause and effect type of behavior.

To an extent, we want that. We give her boundaries, and she learns that life goes well when she adheres to them. That is better for her and for us. But the problem arises when we learn to perform as a child, and forget to stop the performance as an adult. The boundaries help keep us safe for a time while we are taught what really matters in life. The words “Please” and “Thank You” do not of themselves hold merit, it is the consideration of the worth of the recipient that mirror’s God’s heart. Not touching the special items on Grandma’s coffee table will prevent breakage (and perhaps costly replacement by Mom & Dad), but more importantly, it allows time to learn to honor other people by respecting their stuff.

At some point, we must make a transition from rule-keeping, boundary-obeying living to a more pro-active, humble submission to loving other people around us. Considering others better than yourself. Just like Jesus.

Man, he was amazing. He is amazing. Even when I spit in his face, he stands by my side. Even though it was my stupidity that presented him with the choice of giving up his own life. Even then, he loves me.

I don’t have to perform. I don’t have to get it right all the time. He still loves me. And it is the same for my kids. Ian is learning that, I hope. He is certainly into the transitional years. We don’t have to slap his hand anymore when he touches things he’s not supposed to. 🙂 I so badly want him to understand that just like God’s love is not conditional upon our obedience to Him, that my love will not be withheld for any of Ian’s wrong choices. What a fine line that seems to be.

And yet, after an evening with just Dad and the three kids, I think they get it. We have had some discipline issues today, but the prayers at the end of the night all flowed with big thank yous to God for a night with just Dad. They love me. 🙂 And best of all, they know I love them. I really, really do.

Please know tonight that you are loved. Not because of what you do. Not at all. Just because of who you are. God loves our victories and cheers our successes… but he doesn’t shun you when you mess up. Even a lot.

Oh that you might know how wide and long and high and deep is his love. It continues to rock my world.

I hope it forever will.

by Greg

Now Available! A Journey Shared – Selected Thoughts On Life from Greg’s Head from GregsHead.net

Well, it’s out there. I can’t believe it, but it’s out there. I should receive the first official copies in the next couple days. I will sell most of those from this website, look for a link soon. (Or, we’ll sell them if we are out gigging somewhere). I have compiled the list of links where you can find the book so far. Click on a link below to purchase your copy (or copies!) 🙂

iUniverse.com (the Publisher)
A Journey Shared (at Amazon)
Barnes&Noble.com (there is a wait here)
BooksAMillion.com

Again, link to buy direct from me is coming soon, and WalMart.com will be up there eventually too. 🙂

Oh hey. It will also be available in the next few weeks (I think?) at the Palmyra King’s Daughters Free Library, as well as the OWWL Access program of the Pioneer Library System. You can get my book at the library! Ha!

Whoohooo!! (Just had to get that out!)

So, hope you are able to purchase a copy, or two or three, and share them with folks. The book is all about sharing the journey of life. So, hope you can!