For a while now, I have been challenged by the difference between what we call Institutional vs. Relational Christianity. The institution thrives on programs and schedules, efficiency, details, and end results or products. The relational model thrives on personal, meaningful connections between friends. No schedule or other reason for gathering, just an ongoing, developing relationship, sharing our lives with our common Father. That has been the distinction I have seen with where we have been and where it seems God is leading us.

Today, after reading one of my posts from yesterday, a friend introduced an interesting new category I did not realize from my thinking on what we do being somewhat contrived. It’s really the opposite of what I was saying we do, and even spelled out in the definition I found (which I still think is perfect!).

Here is what she said in an Instant Message conversation:

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Laura: truth is
Laura: spontaneous christianity is much more difficult to follow than contrived christianity
Laura: spontaneous means you get to follow and obey
Laura: at any given moment
Laura: and relinquish control
Laura: and lots of people get that feeling of “accomplishments” and “all is well with the world” when they participate in their contrived activities and don’t feel so much the need (SADLY) to truly listen for God’s voice and guidance
Laura: or when they do…they don’t know what it is
Laura: or are terrified to follow

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And I said, “Right on!” A very interesting thought. Contrived is much safer than spontaneous. Some people really, really don’t like anything spontaneous. It is most definitely connected to their personality, but I think it’s something in all of us to varying degrees.

Spontaneous does not give us any control. But it is alive. And if led by our Father, it is amazing! I love it when I have a thought of a friend, even someone I have not had in my thoughts for months, and I call them or stop by or email and find out that at that very moment, they could use a friend. God is SO like that. He lives in the now. He knows the future, and exists in the forever past, but he lives in the now! It’s exactly how Jesus did life. Spontaneously. He was always available for whoever was there.

And it was real. It connected. It was not contrived.

People, please don’t think I have everything figured out. I am just a fellow pilgrim traveler on this journey. Each day God reveals something wonderful about himself or me or his creation, and I get to live it with him and his people. As much as I am able I want to be available for him. If I fill my calendar with stuff to do for him… I can definitely miss that. Not that good things won’t happen… I just miss HIM. He’s bigger than my own plans and short-sightedness… but… I so want to catch him the first time.

Feel free to comment on any of these thoughts, and please as I mentioned before… don’t feel stepped on by any of this stuff I am currently processing. 🙂

I was just adding another item to our calendar today and I noticed a decided shift in the overall color scheme.

I use a program that comes with Mac OS X called iCal, and you can assign specific colors to the various categories that items on your calendar might fall into. I do. And in the past, our calendar has been very red (the color I chose for basic/ministry events). But I was just noticing that the red has diminished quite a bit, and the blue, which represents our personal schedule (dinners/gatherings with friends and family, fun activities, and even our parenting class that we’re leading) has increased dramatically.

I don’t mean that we are doing more. In fact, I believe there is much more white space than previously occupied those tiny little squares. What I mean is, it seems that our priorities have shifted, or at least the labels we choose have changed.

Our calendars are filling up with all things relational. I work in the daytime, and help people through my graphic and web design skills. Then our evenings and weekends are no longer repleat with meetings or rehearsals or services… they are free for small or even large group relational connections. Even just time as a family, taking a walk to a park or something.

The colors on my calendar seem to indicate we really are shifting from doing ministry to having relationships with the people God has put around us.

Don’t misunderstand. I am completely aware that ministry devoid of relationship does not really exist. You can’t really do ministry without people. But the focus inevitably (at least for those in leadership) drifts to the details of the event, rather than the personal and meaningful connection with the heart and soul of another brother or sister. And the calendar, with all its many colors reflects where our hearts are.

(This thought for today is perhaps most condemning of me, not anyone else.)

Many of our relationships used to be intertwined very closely with our employment, or our “ministry”. Yes, we were relating, but that was our job. That’s a precarious line all church staff must tread. Pastors “check in” with members of their congregation as part of their 9-5 responsibilities. Youth ministers spend time with the kids at their houses, at school, at their sporting events to maintain relationship, yes… but also as a part of their duties. It’s always an interesting thing when tax season comes around and we label our relational activities as “work related” miles or other expenses.

But it’s true! We have created a business of relating to people! Yes there is relationship but it’s also diminished because it’s the through the lens of a business. Just as my post yesterday suggested, it is somewhat contrived, and that creates a “sense of artificiality”.

Oh what a mess.

We are enjoying this very interesting shift in the way God is working in us, and through us. It is fascinating. I love that I get to write out and share my thoughts here. Please feel free to comment. And please don’t feel stepped on. I don’t intend any judgment or condemnation or belittlement of anyone reading this. I am only sharing what I see from my perspective these days as God opens my eyes to the colors of my calendar.

Well, we did it. We joined the ranks of the podcasters. It was mostly because I wanted to test out a few things as I was helping out another guy with his podcast. So, I thought… what better way to learn?!! 🙂

It will be a weekly offering of a rare or out of print song from the basic archives. I will (starting next week) offer a little introduction or history of the song as well. It should be pretty cool, especially for the hard-core basic fans out there. 🙂

If you’d like to check it out, I posted the first two songs up there. There is a blog page, where you can download them directly, manually. That address is:

www.basicmm.com/podcast.

But the page is also available in RSS, and readable by any RSS reader. That link is:

feeds.feedburner.com/basicmmradio

But, for a real treat, we recommend using the podcasting software built in to the new iTunes 4.9! It’s great, and we are listed in the iTunes music store. It’s definitely the way to go! 🙂

Click Here to open our podcast in iTunes.

(requires iTunes 4.9 – free download for Windows/Mac here.)

So, enjoy!

🙂

It’s summer camp season again! People are giving up entire weeks of vacation to go spend a week at a remote, wooded location that is anywhere from a bug-infested, poorly ventilated, not to mention poorly decorated bunch of shacks and what we politely refer to as “cabins” to at times a crowded bare-minimum outdoor hotel. (There are some nice camps…) And each of these camps is teeming with young people who are eager to spend a week away from home with their good friends whom they see annually at these familiar stomping grounds. The campers usually outnumber the staff at least 4 or 5 to one and they know it. There are the typical games at mail call time, where the campers with the most mail are humiliated in some fashion, but for the most part completely enjoy it. And don’t forget the “Ride The Broom Around The Room” frivolity.

Yes, camp is a joyous time of year. For some.

(There is a reason that we are not there…) 🙂

But camp got me thinking again about what sorts of things we do together as Christians. Yes, we have camp weeks as a fun place to get together, and get away from the routine. And, yes, some people really do enjoy the silly camp games. But really, the people who love camp love the opportunity that they have with so many kids at once who are away from all their normal distractions, and can really focus on a well thought out and well put together program that reminds them of some truth from Scripture, and the basic truth that God loves them, and offers them real life through Jesus. That is why people are so willing to endure camp.

And, that’s a good thing. People’s lives are definitely touched in deep and even magical ways at camp. Some people are changed forever. God works through summer camp. But more often, you hear of the campers who come home from an exhilarating week of God-life, thrilled to share that touch from heaven with all their friends and family back home, only to find out the rest of their world is not so thrilled to be touched. They did not share the entire experience, and so are reticent to go along for the joy ride. Inevitably, this leads to the overjoyed camper gradually diminishing in excitement over the next few days, until within a week or two at most, they are back to the same distracted life without God that they had before the intense week of Heaven on earth provided by the Christian camp.

Why does this happen? Is it the lousy folks back home who need to get a clue? Perhaps if they could just go to camp, they would get it too? Maybe it’s the camper who didn’t have enough conviction or fortitude to outlast the onslaught of their family and peer groups upon their return to “the real world”? Maybe we just didn’t pray hard enough?

It really could be any one of those things. But, more likely I think it is because camp is not real life. This one week of intensely scheduled God life, neatly packaged with all the trimmings, is not the real world. We even call non-camp life “real life”. We are practically admitting that it is all “pretend”. Who wants to live a life of pretend?

The word that came to mind was “contrived.” Listen to these definitions!

Deliberately created rather than arising naturally or spontaneously; giving a sense of artificiality.

Create or bring about (an object or a situation) by deliberate use of skill and artifice.

Whoa. That’s fairly condemning. But doesn’t that nail it? Isn’t that exactly what we are doing? And camp is just an intense version of what we do every week for our Sunday morning gatherings. We put together great music, and relevant and dynamic speakers, along with carefully matched messages through drama and song and we make sure it all fits to within 60 or 70 minutes, all while managing to create a comfortable environment in which to take it all in with minimal distraction. Even our weekly gatherings for “fellowship” are scripted. Just like the first definition, we leave no room for life to happen “naturally or spontaneously”.

It all comes back to how much we trust God. Everything does. How much can we trust him with the work of changing people’s hearts? Can people know about his love for them without us making it easier for them? Don’t we need to create an environment where they can more easily hear the truth that they so desperately need to hear?

Everything that we do as Christians definitely comes from a wonderful heart to share what we know with others. Often it is even motivated by deep love for them. Sometimes it is motivated by guilt or obligation, but that’s a topic for another day. The motive behind such contrived moments is certainly a noble one.

But it is still contrived.

And the result, as can be expected, is an artificial one. One that lasts only for a time. Until the next week, when we are together again. Until the next year when we are together again at camp. Until the next God-fix. So many people say that is why they need to attend a weekly offering from a local group of Christians. It charges them up for the week. They need to refill.

How sad! Jesus offers us Living Water, where we will never thirst again. We have complete access to him every day and everywhere. All the time. Unhindered. Personal, private connection with our Father, through Jesus. And his Holy Spirit lives right in us, working in us to transform us by renewing our mind. How much we are missing when we rely on a weekly or yearly dose of God to keep us going. He offers us so much more.

But, we continue to produce Christians dependent on the contrived. Dependent on an artificial substitute for what they really need — a relationship with the real and present God. Instead, we offer them a neatly packaged version of him, complete with a script to take home with you.

I am not trying to belittle any individual or group of individuals. I speak as one who has done these very things. I was really good at it, actually. I could put together some pretty amazing programs. An hour or a weekend or a week that would flow together seamlessly, leading us all on an amazing journey of thoughts and emotions that revealed to us at just the right moments the heart of God for us. The truth that he has revealed in scripture, offered in a relevant, and easy to digest package. And it worked! People genuinely connected with the living God. For a moment. In that place. For a time.

It was contrived. It was pretend. When they left, it was over. Perhaps it lingered for even a day or two. But with no basis in reality, it was only something for a compartment of our lives.

No, I am not saying this in condemning judgment. I am offering perhaps an emporer-is-naked kind of truth. We try so hard, pouring our lives into these incredible systems and structures we have created to “make disciples”, but in reality we are only feeding the system. We create people who are reliant on the system for their weekly dose of God. Even when we preach relationship from the pulpit, we deny our own words by the very environment we have created to convey them.

Summer camp is nice. It’s fun. And people who like bugs should do it. 🙂 But it’s not real life. What we create there is contrived. It will not last. The only thing that will last is a real relationship with a real God who is a real part of every moment in our lives. Every one.

That is reality. That is where God wants to meet us.

In case you are not aware, we reside in the town from whence came the entire Mormon religion. Back in the 1800s, a man named Joseph Smith lived here, and had a little vision which led him to some gold tablets which when translated revealed the true Christianity which men had twisted and distorted, so God used J. Smith to spread the news of this new “restoration” of the church.

Well, this week is the big Hill Cumorah Pagent, and there are some hundred thousand plus visitors from all over the globe in our little town that is used to only about three thousand inhabitants. It’s quite different. And interesting to watch.

You have tour buses, and tourists. License plates from all over the country. Lots of guys in white shirts and black ties with little name tags. Many of the stores either completely convert to LDS (Latter-Day Saints) novelty stores or at least carry some of the gear. And then there are the Christians who come to convert every Mormon during their one week visit to Palmyra. They set up tents and pass out literature and mostly just win the lost by badgering them. I am not certain how well that works.

But the best part was the t-shirts the bookstores have posted in the windows. There are some silly ones, like, “I love Mormon Boys” or “I love Mormon Girls”. Then there is a crazy one, like, “Praise To The Man – Joseph Smith”. Fascinating.

But, by far my favorite, and the winner of best shirt I wish I could afford from a Mormon bookstore….

“GO TO CHURCH”
– Moroni 6:6

Sorry… but, that’s hilarious. And I wish I could buy it. Maybe someday…

I have such an interesting job sometimes. Recently, a few clients have reminded me that there is a strange dichotomy in what I do. I am paid (by them) to lend my expertise to their business or project. I am given the task of creatively laying out a graphics project, or a website or otherwise, which involves some subjective decision making. I listen to their ideas, then I get to flesh it out.

Well, at times in that process, my creative ideas do not exactly unfold as they might have imagined. Again, no problem, as it is their project that they are creating… I am just a tool.

However, the part that confuses me, and the fine line I must walk is that I do have expertise. I do (perhaps?) have a better eye than they do for certain things. At the least, I have more experience in what works, or what looks good.

So, at what point is it my responsibility to my client to say, “No, I don’t think that will work… you should go with my idea.” Offered in humility, that is supposed to be in my client’s interest, and part of my role as their tool? Perhaps?

I have had to do some things for clients that went against my better judgment. After a few attempts to sway them, I acquiesced to their (inferior) choice (in my opinion!) and just move on. But my next dilemma then was, do I want to put my NAME on it?! Do I want people seeing other people’s poor choices with MY name on it, like it was my idea, or at least sanctioned by me?!?

Hmm.

This one is puzzling me at the moment. No big deal. Haven’t really been embarrassed by anything I have done yet… but… I assume the day is coming, based on several of my client relationships.

It’s a fascinating line I walk every day.

I recently heard of two different friends with whom we have lost touch who have since gotten divorced. Friends whom we met as a couple, inseparable, forever. But through whatever circumstances (we have not gotten to talk with them yet) they chose to leave the union that they and God had created.

Now, we all make mistakes, but somehow this one just kills me. I would rather they had killed each other, or somebody else. You probably think I am nuts, but somehow divorce is that painful and ugly and nasty to me. I do understand that we live in a world full of sin and bad choices, and that some marriages were the result of a poor choice in the first place. I think in most cases, even those marriages can flourish. But I have a close relative who left a marriage that was abusive in many ways and that was probably the right move. She is happily married today to a great guy and they have a brand new baby. God has blessed what was so horribly bad.

Now, get this straight, please. I do not think God “blesses” our poor choices. He does not say, “Ooooo, that was a doozy! I better break out the Bigger Blessing bag for that one!” It’s not like the uglier it gets, the more he will “bless us”. As I mentioned yesterday, LIFE with God is a blessing. It’s more that he loves us so completely, and as we learn to live in his love and grow in his love, we will see blessings not as a result of our good (or bad) performance, but just because he loves us. And that would apply to marriages that end in divorce.

We know some other folks who are going through the divorce process currently, and it seems to be hopeless. One spouse wants no part of reconciliation and the other wants no part of divorce, but at times it seems, what can you do? God did give us all free will, the ability to choose, no matter how ugly or rotten the choice.

People… please listen to me. When you say, “I do” you are committing yourself to that other person for the rest of your life. They are broken by sin, just like you. Often they are broken and flawed in other ways where you happen to be strong. So, you can look at that and say, “How can you be so stupid!” and use your words to cut them down and slightly elevate yourself (though your spouse will certainly be happy to point out your weak spots, if that is the tactic you choose…) OR, you can use your strengths to complement their weakness. How great is it that not only do we get to do life together every step with God, but we get to do almost the same thing with a fellow human traveler? One who is weak like us, but often strong where we ourselves are weak! Marriage is truly a blessing.

Please don’t give up on it so easily. If you are even contemplating divorce, STOP! Please ask God to work in your heart to allow you to see how your hardships can help shape you, or perhaps the root of the troubles that would cause you to abandon your very self (“the two shall become one”). Ask him to give you the strength to love as he does, willing to give up even his own life so that we could live together with him. That is God’s call to husbands, to lay down their own lives, as Jesus did, for their wives and wives in return offer their lives to their husbands as Jesus does for the church. Granted, this works best when both spouses are willingly submitting themselves to each other, giving their lives for their spouse… but it does work. If that were to happen, divorce would not even be a thought, let alone such a prevalent option.

I am holding it together, but people please understand. Divorce (even among people I don’t know) makes me cry. It hurts me so bad. It’s somehow something that God has allowed me to see the ugliness of. I am not sure why, but it makes me want to work on our book more. We are working on a book on relationships currently titled, “One Man, One Woman”. God says he hates divorce. I talked about how children are a great picture of the inseparability of marriage, and obviously, on the other hand then, divorce is like ripping that child in two pieces. It’s just not right.

If you are getting divorced, please reconsider. If you are having troubles in your marriage, and have contemplated divorce, please ask God to remove that thought from your head and show you how you can help your relationship be healthy again. If you mention divorce in arguments with your spouse, please ask them to forgive you and ask God to help you eliminate such talk that only hurts and tears down. If you are divorced, perhaps it’s not too late to reunite with your spouse and forgive and move on (though incredibly hard, I am sure) in a new life of commitment to each other.

Live in the freedom of commitment. That is the freedom we have in God. We do not have to wonder if he might get so frustrated with us, or angry, or even just grow weary of loving us that he would “divorce” us. That is not possible. His love is permanent. He loved us before we existed and he promises to love us, and be with us, forever. That kind of love produces true freedom, and to the best of my ability, that’s what I want to engender in my wife. I want her to be completely free to be her, and to know she is loved completely, no matter how she performs. There is no danger that our relationship will end because I choose to leave it. Divorce is not an option.

There’s probably a whole bunch more here, and I am sorry if you think I have trivialized your trials by touching so quickly on an enormous area of hurt in your life. That was not my intention. I just had to get some of my own thoughts out there on how hurtful divorce is. It’s never the best option. Sometimes, unfortunately it might be necessary, but I am willing to bet that’s far less often than most people think.

So, for what it’s worth, I leave you with the words I mentioned above, that will shape our marriage and our family, perhaps for generations to come?

Divorce is not an option.

You know, I can eat the spiciest chicken wings with a side of skyline chili and follow that up with a few pepproncini peppers with a few slices of pizza, all after midnight… and not feel a thing.

But after even a bite of Macaroni Salad, my insides get all twisted up and start feeling as though they might reject that stuff I just put down in there.

What’s the deal with that?!

I was listening to an audio recording the other day called “Introduction to Relational Christianity”. The title seemed cool as God has been moving both Jen and me to a deeper understanding of his church as a family, made up of organic relationships, not a place or time or meeting or any sort of infrastructure. So I listened, and heard a bunch of stuff I agreed with, and some things I had already been thinking of, and even some stuff that I hadn’t thought of. It was all good stuff.

And then I finally heard it. I think I have been missing this, even though as I type this right now I am chuckling at the thought that I could have possibly thought anything else…

Relational Christianity is all about relationships… with God.

Now, you might be saying, “Duh!” But, let me explain. I think how I have been missing that is that for a long time, I have been on the side of “the church” that does all the programming, that puts on the stage presentation, that plans the meetings, talks details, money, staff & volunteer numbers, and reports on people’s lives as though it was the daily Stock Market watch. Not that this is necessarily bad, just feels to us like the wrong focus, and at least in our case – it is.

So, my natural inclination of late has been to avoid all things structured as far as life with other believers and just try to live daily life with the people God has placed around me. I have a special connection with the believers whom he has placed in my life, we are on the same journey. And the others are not the target or my evangelistic cross-hairs… they are people just like me, who will know the love of our Father through my life shared with them in whatever ways God allows. I don’t need to try to get them to “go to church” (something that by definition is not actually possible) … I just need to share the love I have been given. In whatever ways manifest themselves each day, each moment.

So, as you might understand with me, I have been focusing on the relationships with EACH OTHER rather than the key to the whole thing.

When I heard it, I just kinda laughed at myself. For perhaps my whole life, but definitely for the past 15 years or so, I have understood that Christianity is a relationship and not a religion. I know the Creator. He is my friend. I understand that. I don’t need to say any incantations, or do any dances, or offer any sacrifices… I have direct access to him through Jesus’ death on the cross. That was a magical moment in history, where God created a direct, high-speed connection between each of us and himself. (And there are no faulty lines!) So, I know that. And have for a while. And that is the core of who I am.

But… I have been trying to live out “church” in a relational model, focusing on making relationships with other believers work rather than just living my everyday relationship with Jesus. Everyday, I get to do every thing with someone who listens to me, knows me, and wants to be there with me. Every day. Every place. Crazy.

So as I draw closer to him (just by spending time with him, by doing life with him) I will begin to experience “relational Christianity”. Even cooler than that realization is, I already AM! 🙂 This is what I do! So, I have been recently longing for something I already have!

That is too funny.

I am still trying to understand ways to relate to people who are still in the system. Friends and family who live out their relationship with God through various meetings and schedules and regular practices. None of those are bad in themselves, but they are for me… (perhaps like Rom 14, the meat offered to idols?) and so I am trying to sort through all of this stuff still and just live in the freedom of relationship with my Father.

I hope you are too. I hope you are not doing dances for him, or anything that is empty ritual. Rituals don’t have to be empty, but they can often deteriorate to that. Where the practice takes the place of the relationship. God is real, and living, and though he is “the same yesterday, today and forever” he remains a dynamic individual, who wants to walk with us in the garden again. The veil has been removed (when Jesus died on the cross) and we have unrestricted access to him. I hope you are experiencing that today.

Relational Christianity is all about Relationship. With God the Father through Jesus our brother and Holy Spirit who lives in us.

I hope you know how insanely lucky we are.

Just an update on our internet…

We are now at 11 days and counting with unreliable (at best) internet, which is usually completely unavailable. Now, you might say that I am whining, or complaining by posting such a count… or, perhaps if you have spoken with me over those past 11 days, but I was thinking of it like this:

If I was a truck driver, hauling cargo across the country on a tight schedule, it might be like having to do that on my bike. Or, if I was lucky, I could borrow my neighbor’s pick up truck. I would have to transfer all the cargo over to the new mode of transportation, and do the best I could in that new vehicle.

So far, that’s not all that good.

So, they admitted today that the problem is in the main lines on the street… finally said that it’s nothing to do with our house. (The first guy who came out yelled at me because of the way I had set up something on the outside of the house, which he then switched to the “right” way, which the guy today switched back because it was set up wrong… go figure..) 🙂

Eventually, they may have this back up and running. For now, I am a beggar, going from house to house, and office to office in search of a wireless high speed connection to do my work from my handy PowerBook G4 laptop. It works, just not quite as well as my very own, comfortable, office.

I will keep you updated on our progress.

🙂