Tonight was portrait night. A friend got us a free sitting and free 8 x 10 at Sears Portrait studio, and my wife being a big fan of photos took the opportunity to get the kids all dressed up (and my Mom took the opportunity to get them something to dress up in) and we headed to Eastview Mall.

Well, no trip to Eastview is complete without a stop at the Apple Store! So, we headed there before AND AFTER the photo shoot! (We are so awesome!) 🙂

Alex knows his way around the store, and around a computer, so he set himself up at one of the display models and began taking some self portraits (unbeknownst to us!) He came over and showed us the photos, and they were SO GREAT! So I quickly mailed them to myself at home!

When I got home, I made a little web page that rotated the 4 shots he took. It’s hilarious!!! So, check out our computer savvy, and ultra cool little boy… IN MOTION! 🙂

basicmm.com/personal/alex

This afternoon I have been working on a fun little project for basic, and our basicmm.com website. April 2006 is the 10th Anniversary of our first CD, Another Road Trip. So, we’re putting together some fun promotional stuff.

Well, as I was writing the content for the special 10th Anniversary page (and I was nearly at the end, I might add…) my computer just shut off. Off! The power didn’t go. There were no other warning signs. It just shut off. This happened before. But we thought that might have been a bad hard drive or something.

Maybe not?

Whatever the cause, my heart just sank.

See, not only did I lose this afternoon’s work, due to busyness and no saving… I thought I might have lost EVERYTHING. That’s what happened last time. I lost my back-up hard drive. Argh. More than argh. I have NO BACK UP at the moment. Because, my nice new 500GB hard drive decided to give out on me a couple weeks ago. In fact, I was in the process of recovering those files when my computer shut off. (And there’s no guarantee I can do that.)

SO…

I might have lost ALL of my file. My files, my clients files, our iTunes library. All of it.

Needless to say, that was not a pleasant feeling thinking about that.

Well, it was about 82-85º in my office when my computer shut down… I thought maybe the heat had something to do with it. So I opened the windows, and tried to cool it off. Sure enough, I heard a little bleep, and my computer started up again. Like nothing happened at all!

Can you say, “WHEW!”???!??!

So everything fires up again, and all is well. I am a little miffed that I lost my entire afternoon’s work, but quite thankful that all my other files were spared.

As all the programs are opening, I noticed I had a new mail message, so I checked that before I went back and started recreating all that I had lost. It was a message from Jen. 🙂 Nice. (Now, before you think, “Why is his WIFE sending him EMAIL from downstairs??!” it was a forward from someone else that she wanted me to read. It’s not really that weird…) 🙂

Here’s what the e-mail said:

Begin forwarded message:

From: “David and Linda Mead”
Date: March 30, 2006 9:14:31 AM EST
To: “Dave & Linda Mead” <davlind@verizon.net>
Subject: Pray for the Passmore Family

Hi all,

The Passmore family are in need of your prayers. Two sons, Ben (18) and Matt (16) went to be with the Lord yesterday suddenly in an automobile accident. They also have one older son and 3 younger children. Please pray. They are a homeschooling family that are in another chapter, but many may know from HIS Baseball or HIS Soccer.

In Him,
Linda

It was an email from one of the LEAH group leaders (a homeschool network here in town). A family had just lost their two teenage sons. I almost cried, thinking of our two sons, and how horrible it would be to lose our boys that way, at that young age.

And then I realized, almost shamefully, how much my heart was pained by the loss of all my data. Granted, it would cost me hours and hours and even weeks to recover all that I had lost – not recover, recreate. And granted, I already knew that in the grand scheme, it was meaningless. But still… what a strangely timed eye-opener.

I am praying for the Passmores as I type right now. I hope they can know God’s peace and comfort right now. I hope they know He will get them through. I can’t imagine the pain they feel from this loss.

I am also quite humbled and almost embarrassed by my petty anguishing over lost data. Thank you God for the reminder of what is important. Thank you for also saving me hours of recreating this stuff, but thanks most of all for my precious family. I am so lucky for every moment of life I get to share with them.

May I never take that for granted.

I no sooner posted this, then I get notification via snail mail (yes, I thought that was interesting too…) that the Apple store will not be hiring me at this time. 🙂

It’s too bad… I wanted the discount. I wanted to hang out with Apple stuff and Apple people one day a week. But at the same time, I knew it was too much right now. I essentially told the store managers that in my interview time. I said, “I really can only work one day a week, and that’s it.” They wanted more like 24 hours of availability per week for part time.

So, I knew it would be great flexibility on their part if it worked out. Apparently there were more flexible people for them. 🙂

I’m glad, really. Now I can continue to help people find the best Apple stuff for them, and hang out in the store anytime I can, and get to know pretty much everyone who works there – who are big Apple fans like me – I just won’t get paid to do it, or that big employee discount.

Hmm. That didn’t sound all that good, did it? 🙂

But the really good thing is, I will not be doing one more thing now. I don’t think I need “one more thing” right now.

That’s for sure. 🙂

Well, it’s over.

Two weeks with my kids. Two weeks away from my computer (mostly). Two weeks of nothing regular at all. Two weeks of diaper changes, meal times, household chores, family errands and entertaining three rambunctious tiny tots.

Two weeks that I thoroughly enjoyed.

It’s weird. I really figured that I would wake up today feeling completely overwhelmed. Two weeks away from your work is crazy. Things pile up. And, to a degree they have. But, even though the task is large, I think the break of more than one complete cycle (a week) has re-invigorated me. I really woke up today excited to get back in action. 🙂

And yet, I already miss reading and playing with my kids. Getting them dressed and eating breakfast. Watching our favorite 80s TV show. Going on a walk to the store or the library.

The cool thing is (as I have mentioned before) family is certainly a priority for me, and so, those things will still happen, just not as often as the past two weeks.

So, I am grateful for them. And, I am grateful to be back. Not sure how that’s possible, but… that’s how I’m feeling today.

Today I was at the hospital because of my sprained ankle, and something the doctor said just confirmed how silly I think science is. Not really science. I love science. Actually, it’s always been one of my favorite subjects. I read the science related headlines at news sites, I visit the NASA site pretty often, and I even enjoy a good sci-fi show. (Does that count?) 🙂

The funny thing is, there is a segment of the populous that elevates science and the Scientific Method above all else. Scientific thought is supreme. Anyone who dares question the prevailing thought of the day on a subject is either ignorant or has some agenda. Or, they are just not dealing with “science”. (The Intelligent Design stuff, for example.)

As the doctor examined my foot, and explained some things I could do for my foot, he said, “It’s debatable whether ice actually helps or not.” Now, if you will recall with me what your mother taught you, ice is the first thing you do for a sprained ankle! And, on the sheet they send you home with, I was instructed to ice the foot 4 to 6 times a day! There seems to be some difference of opinion there!

This is my point.

Everyone has the same facts. Everyone also can come to their own conclusions from the facts. There is no consensus in science, though the secular crowd would like to suppose that there is. Did you know that I have actually met a flesh and blood human being who believes that the earth is the center of the universe and that everything else revolves around it. Really. And he has lots, and lots of evidence and reasoning to back it up.

See, the thing is, science is not really helpful at all for determining answers. We can figure out some things, but if any variable changes (and last time I checked, this entire world is all about “change”) then you have a different answer. AND, over the years, “science” changes its mind about what it thinks, or there are varying views among peers.

I prefer to keep an open mind and will listen more to someone who does not come across as though they have the universe completely figured out.

I’m not God, so… I can’t do that.

You? 🙂

I went up to block Scott’s shot this morning at around 8:30am. It was a nice friendly game of one-on-one-on-one, game to 21, every man for himself. Scott was taking a shot from around the arc, and I was close enough to challenge, so up I went. I missed the block, but as I came down, I did not miss Alex’s foot. Alex had stepped up to challenge as well (I think that’s what happened) and my foot came down on his instead of the floor.

Pain. Searing pain. Bad. Thoughts of being laid up in bed for months.

I tried to get up, cause I was going to will my ankle to be ok… even if it was broken. It was stiff, but I could put a little weight on it. That was good. 🙂

I got some ice from the person on duty at the gym and put it on my foot. That helped. But it felt really stiff. I looked down and it was twice its normal size. That was bad.

I went home and, long story short, the hospital x-rays showed no broken bones – so I am home again, and soon to put it up so it can get better. We hope.

This is a bit of a set back when I am supposed to be helping Jen by taking care of the house and three tiny kids. 🙂

Welll… that’s the news from here. I’ll probably give an update later.

Hey folks

We’ve gotten some wonderful comments (through email mostly) on this post. Thanks to those who have responded. I just wanted to make it clear that this post was somewhat tongue-in-cheek. 🙂 We are so thrilled to have a fourth addition to our family – totaling six. And actually, we hope that God will continue to add to our family.

It was just sorta funny as we sat there in the hospital, holding healthy baby #4… thinking, “What are we getting ourselves into??!” 🙂 🙂 We know it will be great… it’s just pretty tiring at the moment!! 🙂

The only somewhat serious comment I wove in there was the one about the “string of good luck”. We experienced the loss of a child (before birth) in 2004. We greatly anticipated God adding that baby to our family, so the loss was painful. But God was with us, to be sure. Even still, this entire pregnancy, I kept waiting for the bad news. That we had lost another baby. I figured we had pushed the odds too far. Even when Julia was born, and she was blue and limp, I thought… “Well yeah. That makes sense. I knew that would happen.” I can not explain the enormous wave of emotion that came over me when she breathed, cried and turned a lovely shade of pink. I couldn’t say anything. I just cried.

So, part of me wonders how we can continue to defy the odds and have such healthy, beautiful babies. The other part knows its not up to me, and so I don’t even have to worry about it. 🙂

Pretty sure that side is going to win out, and, God willing, you just might see a few more Campbells in this world.

If He really thinks that’s a good idea. 😉

It feels like we’re in a desert land right now. It’s dry, and hot. We’re tired, and as far as we can see all around us, it’s only sand. No one else around, and that’s the problem.

Oh, there are plenty of people. We have great friends. They are quick to help with things we need, or with our kids, and we do enjoy spending time with all of the people God has surrounded us with. On top of that, our family is super supportive and we love them completely. We have definitely been blessed.

The desert is in our current journey with God. We are certain that he is leading us, and quite confident that where we are is the best place for us, and in fact, he is most definitely here with us. But we just feel alone. No one else (at least no one near us) is in the same place as us: wanting to experience God outside of the traditional, institutional framework of “the church”. There are a few – but no one who is just around the corner from us. No one with whom we cross paths on a daily basis, or even weekly.

Sometimes that makes me think, along with prodding from a few folks, that we should just jump back into the fold, and go along with the “rest” of Christianity. It can’t be that bad. Right?

WRONG.

Have you ever seen the Matrix? I watched it for the first time sometime within the past year. I really liked it. It was cool. Not just the special effects, but the story was pretty cool, too. Well, if you recall the main story was that humans were plugged into this giant computer simulation (the “matrix”) and their lives were being lived out in this simulated world. A few people had managed to “wake up” from this world, they were rescued from it. And once they were out, they saw the world as it really was. Even if they wanted to go back to the matrix, they could not because they knew it was fake. Pretend. A simulation.

It would be the same for us. It’s like we have been pulled out of the matrix. If we were to suddely go back to weekly (and more) attendance at a neighborhood Christian service center, and especially if we were to plug in there and “serve” (teach, nursery, music, etc) it would be like trying to go back into the matrix. You can’t go back. You already know it’s fake. You can’t do it.

We have tasted the reality of the every day presence of God in our lives everywhere we are. Why would we go back to putting him at a time or place? How could we go back to pretending that those services and programs are our source of Christian life when we know the real source of Life?

No. We can’t. We have been pulled from the Matrix, and we can never go back. We can certainly visit. But we can never completely plug back in.

And I think that’s a good thing.

We have always wanted to live every moment with God. Everything we do being worship to him. We always said the words, but now I think we are actually living it, and it’s really freeing and wonderful. But we are currently in a desert, and that’s not entirely enjoyable.

But this season will pass. And during the times in the desert, we learn to rely on our Father even more. See, even though there’s sand, and we feel like we’re alone in some ways – we’re not. He is with us, and leading us.

And so, we press on.

I had an interesting moment last night (that would be Friday night) as I left our boys’ room after a hasty “Good Night.” We had spent another evening on many activities we enjoy doing together, and at that point, I was tired and needed to leave. We always talk with God together before Mom or Dad leaves the room, and that night was no exception. Often in the most hurried nights, Ian will slip in a little open window to his heart. He’s good at that. And last night was no exception.

The boys and I were talking about how God responds to us when we talk to him. Kids are great, cause they’re not afraid to say they hear God talking back to them. 🙂 I love that. We encourage that. Our Father is very real, and wants a relationship with us, not our cowering and fearful, compulsory adulation. So Alex had said something about a question he directed to God, to which I responded, “And what did He say?” Alex told me what he said, and I smiled. We spoke a bit more, and Ian said with a somewhat troubled tone, “I don’t hear God much anymore…”

I was puzzled at such a statement. Ian continued, “Not as much as I used to, at least. I’m not sure why.”

What do you say to that? An opportunity to encourage my little boy to listen, and trust that God is listening to him even though he is unable to hear God’s voice at the moment. I explained that I have noticed God to be silent at times – even when I wished he were not – just because he didn’t have anything to say. 🙂 At those times, we rest in his love for us, which he has proven many times over, and we wait to hear from him again. Ian seemed to be satisfied with the answer, and so we hugged, and I left the room.

But I was not quite as satisfied.

Ian is the only one of our children who really spent some time in the institutionalized church. We have not been much of a part of it for much of Alex’s growing up, and hardly any of Kirsten’s very young life. So Ian has some fond memories of the structures of that system. He recalls the children’s programs, and Sunday school, and all the things that good little Christians are meant to do. So, at times, he innocently questions why we no longer participate in such routines, especially since his grandparents and many other extended family members are so deeply involved in them.

With that background, I noticed a little crack in my levee, allowing a trickle of doubt to gnaw at the lining of my stomach. “Are we doing the right thing? Is God’s silence a sign that we are supposed to be “going to church”? Am I ruining my kids lives? Will we be condemned to Hell?” OK, the last one didn’t really cross my mind, but perhaps I came close.

See, this is the trap of performance based religion. This way of thinking says that if good things are happening, God is pleased, and if bad things are happening (including the absence of good things), then something is wrong and must be corrected. An attempt to appease the deity must be made. And though I am so completely convinced from scripture and from my relationship with my Father that he does not operate that way… so many years of “watching the signs” and making the necessary course corrections allowed me to wallow in self-doubt for a time last night.

No more. There is no longer condemnation. I have been forgiven. I am free. I am loved. He calls me friend. All truths I know in my heart. My body is tired these days, and so they are definitely more easily replaced by the easier “appeasement mode” of past years. But I will not revert to relying on my own performance.

“I am not going to go back on that. Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God’s grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.” (The Message, Gal 2:21-22)

A friend posted that to her blog this evening, and it reminded me of the amazingness of grace. It really has not a thing to do with what we do. We can no more manipulate God through our performance than we can lose his unquenchable love for us.

He may be “silent”, or we may see “bad things” around us, but friend, do not let your heart be troubled. If God is for us, who can be against us.

And he is for us.

Check out Julia’s first video! It’s just over 10 minutes long, so it’s pretty hefty. If you’re still on dial up, I don’t recommend trying it! 🙂

Stream Video | Download Video (iPod ready)

(To download, Option-Click on the Download Video link, or Control-Click to bring up a menu of options, then Save As… to wherever you like. On Windows, Right-Click, then choose Save As… or something like that.)