Category / Personal

by Greg

Children Obey Your Parents

We had an interesting conversation with our teenager the other night.

Ian is thirteen. That means he’s officially a teenager. He’s been there—especially in his own mind—for quite a while now, even before the calendar said he was. That’s how he came into the world, actually. He’s usually ahead of the game.

And that’s his biggest problem. He’s pretty talented in a lot of ways, and he’s quite intelligent. That can very easily add up to a big trap. It can start to seem like you’ve got it all figured out.

I think at some point we all face that. And you might be saying, “Greg, of course he thinks he knows everything … he’s a teenager!” And, you are certainly right that what I’ve said so far could be said of most of us (maybe ALL of us?) in our teen years. It is the time when we are discovering ourselves. When we are invincible. When we are definitely smarter than our Mom & Dad.

But see, the thing is… this has been plaguing Ian since before he could speak.

There’s a war being waged in his spirit. I can’t know that, of course, or see it directly; but I see evidences of it. At once Ian is the most gentle, caring spirit, and also completely unbending and arrogant. He can be both.

From his earliest days, when we were training him the simple ‘yes’ and ‘no’ of what he could, and could not touch, where he could, and could not go, Ian has defied us. He has somehow had deep within his spirit a need for autonomy. More than a need, a conviction. He. Is. Right. It causes him such grief with his Mom, especially, but also with me. We’ve spent so many hours and hours talking about it, praying, learning from Jesus, and hopefully even showing by example.

But he persists in his right-ness.

The other night after a long day of head-butting with Mom, we had an emotional, confrontational “talk”. (It was mostly me doing the talking.) What came of that was a nugget of truth (at least, truth from Ian’s perspective) that helped me see the command from Scripture, “Children, obey/respect your parents…” slightly differently.

What I saw was that those words are not the end, but just the beginning.

God’s blessing comes after our will (as children) can quietly and trustingly submit to our parents. There are two things we learn from that. First, we are learning to submit ourselves to someone we trust whom we know loves us (like our heavenly Father), and second, we are learning the value of obeying Father, even when it doesn’t yet make sense to us—which we will have countless opportunities to practice through the rest of our adult lives.

Ian said, “So then I’m just supposed to lie?” He meant that he doesn’t agree with us, so, if he complies with a respectful-on-the-outside “Yes, Mom” and the subsequent carrying out of his orders, then that equals obeying? That is somehow a good thing?

In reply I said, “No, Ian. You are not supposed to lie. It’s not a lie. It’s a choice. You are saying, ‘God, even though I don’t agree… even though I think I’m right here… I’m going to trust you. I’m going to show my parents respect, and willingly do what they are saying is best, because I trust you, and your love for me.’ We hope that you can trust our love for you, too, and the wisdom we have gained by our quarter-century of additional experience. But the first choice you make, and the one that matters, is to choose to trust God.”

And I realized, that’s so true. I added, “Ian, I think the only thing God asks of you while you are a child, is to respect and obey your parents. As you get older, a LOT more will be expected of you, and you will be responsible for a lot more choices. But right now, it starts with this simple one. If you can choose to do that (respect your Mom and Dad, and do what they say, even when you think you know better) then you will start to see God’s blessing. When we trust him, he begins to unfold more truth in front of us. Not to mention, you’ll have peace—inner peace, peace with your Mom, with me, and your simple choice will begin to grow peace through our whole household.”

This is not “pick on Ian” time. Ian is (as I said earlier) incredibly talented in many things (sports, writing, reading, knowledge, understanding and caring about people, art, humor, and more). I love my son, Ian. He’s also—at times—incredibly hard to be around, because he does not see himself as an equal (or, in the case of his parents, a subordinate). His arrogance, unchecked, will eventually—once he is no longer under the protection of our supervision and guidance—be his ruin.

Pride, the worship of self, is the beast that is in all of us. Somehow, God put something in us that has a great desire to protect us, to defend us and all that represents us. It is the undoing of many. Perhaps it’s stronger in some than others (that’s what we seem to see in our firstborn son) but it is definitely something we all battle.

Ian and I had a subsequent discussion about heroes and villains. He’s writing a book with some seemingly ordinary folk who have super powers, who battle other seemingly ordinary folks who have super powers (or super technology). It’s a classic good versus evil, superhero story. He’s got some fun twists he’s working on, and he’s becoming a pretty good story teller, so it should be an entertaining read!

We thought about the one most common distinction between the “good guys” and the “bad guys” in any story, “super” or not. The answer was surprisingly consistent, and easy: bad guys are always in it for themselves, and good guys are always looking out for other people, even (especially) at their own peril. Those are heroes, the ones of us who sacrifice self for someone else, expecting nothing in return. (If reciprocity is expected, then the “selfless” act was really not selfless at all.)

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

I’ve quoted those few sentences from Philippians 2 here before. A few times, I believe. Don’t forget the sentence that comes next (perhaps the more familiar words):

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

There are so many commands in the Bible. Do this, don’t do this; go here, stay away from there; be this, don’t be this. It trips us up, big time. We get stuck on the “dos” and “don’ts”. The one thing that matters is to love God (and trust him) with all that you are, and equally important, love other people like you’ve been loved. There’s no “me” in that. The me is the “others” part for you. YOU are taken care of by me, and by everyone else who is “taking an interest in others, too”, and by our Father.

What more could you ask for?

So we’ll keep trying. We’ll keep loving. We’ll keep talking, praying, studying, and doing—leading by example. We’re going to fail. We do all the time. But hopefully part of our example is a humble acceptance of our own brokenness, our own quite obvious IMperfection.

Do what’s right… love mercy… walk humbly with [our] God.

And in the end? Well, we don’t get to know the end. We only get to live the now. We hope that as we do what God is asking us, that he’ll bless us by giving us the joy of seeing HIS Life lived brilliantly in and through our son (all our sons, and our daughters). They will each get to choose to trust him along the way. It might be “easier” for some of them than it seems to be for Ian in his short thirteen years so far. But I have a hunch that each of them will face their own obstacles, just as great, just as impassible …

But nothing is impassible with God. (Or, something like that.)

And it is HE whom we trust. From the very first, when we say, “Yes, Mom,” and “Yes, Dad”. And through the rest of life, with the first choice to trust—when much (or all?) seems to say otherwise—we take the first step and choose to trust him.

Then we begin to know the Life he has for us, the Life he is.

It all starts with a simple choice.

by Greg

[From The Archive] Feeling Loved, And Lovable

Highlighting Articles from the GregsHead.net Archives!This week’s trip into the Archive will be much shorter than last week’s (sorry about the link overload with that one!) Maybe because there’s been so much to read here lately that I want to give you a break…

But probably more because the content of this previously-posted article is beautiful in its simplicity.

I’m not talking about my words, or any idea I’ve had. It’s the core of the message Jesus spoke. We are loved.

Better yet, we are love-able. Worth loving.

And he does. With great pleasure.

Enjoy your visit to the Archive. May it encourage you again. And again.

You are worth it.

Feeling Loved, And Lovable
[link]

by Greg

The Reading Chair Beckons

All day I have been thinking, I would like to sit down and write this article, or that one; things I have had knocking around in my brain and at least partly begun as drafts. But somehow almost immediately after I’ve had that thought another quickly replaces it: It’s really time to read!

I have found that sometimes it’s necessary to either read more or write more, rather than attempt to find a balance between the two. Sometimes one begets the other. (Especially perhaps writing flowing from reading.) Either way, I’ve found today that my spirit is definitely leaning toward importing rather than exporting.

So today’s post will be short—in fact, it’s nearly over—since my reading chair beckons.

Current reads are always showing in the far right sidebar, but what has particularly captured my interest lately are The Original Argument (a modern translation of the Federalist Papers by Hamilton, Madison, and Jay) and related, Woodrow Wilson and the Roots of Modern Liberalism by Ronald J. Pestritto, as well as a thriller by Brad Thor, The First Commandment. On top of that we’re reading together as a family an inspirational little book titled The Christmas Jars by Jason F. Wright, and the boys and I are working our way through Fellowship of the Ring by Tolkien as well as Bold Robin Hood and His Outlaw Band by Louis Rhead (for a book club with Ian).

As I’ve mentioned before, if you’d like to read along, please stop by the Library page to see what’s currently being read and what’s in the queue (and what’s recently finished). Feel free to add your thoughts and/or recommendations!

For now… my reading chair awaits.

by Greg

Imitation: The Highest Form of Flattery

Tonight at the dinner table, our youngest boy—who bears a good deal of physical resemblance to his Daddy—was particularly tuned in to my every move. He was watching (and mimicking) everything that I did. When I leaned forward onto my elbows to rest my head in my hands and wipe the tired of the recent past from my face, so did Cam. Whichever way I moved, just about any posture I assumed, Cam followed to near perfection.

It didn’t take me long to notice, and when I did, well, I was certainly heartened by his quite evident love for his me, his Dad.

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, and I guess maybe “they” are right.

Paul also said that the people whom he introduced to Jesus should “imitate [him] as [he] imitate[s] Christ”. That thought came to my mind, and I hope that’s just as easy for them to see and to follow as my physical motions at the table.

The best part was when, once he knew that I knew he was imitating me—though for this moment, I had momentarily forgotten—I moved my dish aside, being done with my food. Moments later, Cameron moved his dish in front of me. Typically, when this happens it means he’s refusing to eat more (even though he probably still should). However, once I saw where he had placed it, it was exactly the same amount to his right as I had placed my dish! 🙂

Still makes my face and heart smile as I recall and type the story here. Such a sweet boy.

In truth, it happens quite often, the imitating. More than I’d like. Often I’m quite glad for it, and I hope that it continues. But other times it’s too revealing. It can be unpleasant to hear the way your tone returns to your ears through the mouth of your biggest 2-year-old fan. But, a mirror can also be your best friend. I am thankful for the mirror that my kids can be for me.

Firstborn son, Ian, is more like me than I admit at times. He is creative, talented, gregarious, frequently charming, and also stubborn, confident to the point of arrogance, and often unteachable. At times, I am like all of that, too—the good and the bad.

During a recent clash of our similar personalities, where I felt (maybe incorrectly) that I needed to press Ian on his apparently unteachable/rebellious position or attitude toward me at that moment, I asked, “Ian, what is going on? Why are you being like this right now? Why do you have no humility at all?” He quickly responded, “I really have a hard time being humble!”

Slightly taken aback by his astute observation and open admission, I paused, but only slightly.

Though there was only a slight moment in which Ian’s words were allowed to resonate, his sister, Kirsten—more than five years his younger—managed to slip in the kindest, and perhaps most profound words of encouragement recently spoken in our home.

“That was humble, Ian.”

The kindness and pure, caring heart revealed both by her choice of words and her delivery of them, as well as the depth of understanding of the concept of humility that was evidenced by her quick assessment is overwhelming to me. In the midst of what had been a very draining, tense, frustrating series of moments for me (and everyone else, I think) she spoke such words of life that I had to encourage her, “Kirstie, I think those were the wisest, kindest words I’ve heard spoken here today. Thank you.”

There is beauty in our brokenness. In the moments where we are weak we can be lifted up. Either by someone else who is somehow less weak for that moment, or by God himself whose grace makes us strong, even—especially?—when we are weak. Sometimes the truth of that is revealed in the words, from the heart, of a seven year old girl, or by the actions of a two year old boy.

I hope that I am mostly characterized by a love and grace—toward my kids (and wife) directly, as well as toward every person that I might interact with—that overflows from the Life I have in me in Jesus. I am not him, and I can not be perfect. I will choose poorly, I will fail. But even in my brokenness, I hope that my kids will get to follow my example as I follow Jesus. Even in the way that I handle the images I see in the mirror: be they glass, or flesh.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Perhaps children are the highest form of imitation.

This day, I am so thankful for the mirrors God has given me.

Bible references above are from 1 Corinthians 11, and 2 Corinthians 12.

by Greg

Completely Plagiarized (With References)

Tonight I need to let some other words speak for me. If you’ll permit me, the rest of this post is entirely copied selections from the Bible. (New Living Translation if not otherwise noted.) They are words we are feeling strengthened by today. Perhaps they’ll do so for you, too.

(And, does it really count as plagiarism if I am referencing the sources?) 🙂

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in you,
all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

John 16:33
…Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

Romans 15:13
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Philippians 4:6-9
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

Romans 8:18-29
Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay.

For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us.

We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.

Revelation 21:3-7
I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life. All who are victorious will inherit all these blessings, and I will be their God, and they will be my children.

There are so many more, but I’ll finish with this one, mentioned yesterday. It’s pretty much the foundation of the Good News:

Ephesians 1:3-11
All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.

God has now revealed to us his mysterious plan regarding Christ, a plan to fulfill his own good pleasure. And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.

Amen.

by Greg

My Vice?

Everyone has a vice. Something they just can’t say “No” to, no matter how hard they try. If it’s a true vice, not only can we not say “No”, often we don’t even want to refuse to indulge ourselves in this pleasure that holds such sway over our will.

Mine… is books.

I just can’t get enough books. In the past year I’ve re-discovered two sources to feed my vice: Goodwill1 and library book sales.

(Throw in Amazon2 and our library system, and I’m either in heaven… or I’m “toast”… depending on your point of view?)

If you’ve ever visited this website, then you know of my penchant for books. I feature the ones I am currently reading with a nice little rotating display in the far right sidebar, and if you scroll down you’ll see ones I plan to read, and ones recently completed (or you can just go to the full library to see them all). I also am often referencing a book I’ve read, or hope to read.

I really like books.

I was telling Jen the other day that they just make me happy. Sometimes they make me sad—like, when I see a book I’d really like to read but any number of other things is keeping me from it… that makes me sad. But usually, most often, the sight of these hardbound, softbound, and sometimes poorly-bound books of all shapes and sizes and genres brings a smile to my face and these words to my lips: “Oh yeah! I can’t wait to read that one!”

I enjoy many different genres. It’s funny… when I was a young boy, I think I read mostly fiction. Ones I can recall include The Cricket in Times Square, The Sign of the Beaver, Stuart Little, The Black Stallion and many more.

But as I got a bit older, I began to shun works of fiction for the more noble non-fiction. I enjoyed books about science most (particularly astronomy, but anything in nature) and some history as well.

It really did become a “thing” with me, to where I considered any fiction a waste of time—even into my adult years. At that point I was reading books on life with Jesus, Christian history, and other theological books as well. Fiction was OK… but… it was not what I wanted to spend my time on.

I’m not entirely sure what swung me back around. It could be audiobooks (specifically Audible.com!), or maybe the Frank Peretti novel(s) that Jen and I read together when we were first married3, or perhaps just a really meaningful work of fiction (two that were connected to Wayne Jacobsen, an author/speaker we’d met and connected with: So You Don’t Want To Go To Church Anymore?, and The Shack come to mind)…

I’m really quite unsure. But it happened. Then, over the past couple years I have really been exploring that genre. Reading historical fiction and fantasy books with my boys (Lord of the Rings and Chronicles of Narnia! Oliver Twist, Great Expectations, and a new series by Ted Bell, The Nick MacIver Series) and then thrillers by Brads Thor and Meltzer, as well as classics like Dune, and Catch-22. (The latter I’ve yet to finish as it made my head swim a bit… but was highly recommended by a good friend.) 🙂

BOOKS! Oh man, I love them!

I am frequently paying library fines (usually just a few cents, maybe dollars) because I have way too many checked out, and I’m always in-progress on at least ten different books! Ha!

If there’s one thing I can’t say no to, it’s definitely books.

I guess I don’t even want to try!

1 I can’t remember—or even imagine—a post with more outbound links than this one! If you click them all… you win! 🙂

2 And now, with Amazon Prime ($79/year), you get free 2-day shipping on any order, no minimums, and next-day shipping for $3.99/item. Neat!

3 On our honeymoon, we drove down to South Carolina from New York, and for the entire trip, Jen rode shotgun and read aloud the book The Oath by Frank Peretti. It was a fun experience; definitely a great memory from a great two weeks. Started our marriage off right: reading! 🙂

by Greg

[From The Archive] I Want To Be God

Highlighting Articles from the GregsHead.net Archives!Posting an often lengthy entry per day here at GregsHead.net has been an enjoyable task, but also in ways a daunting one. I really have enjoyed it and the exercise has been good for my mental as well as emotional/spiritual health. I have enjoyed reconnecting with you, the reader. (But I’m sure my extra twenty-five thousand words per month are a good chunk for you to add to your reading list, too.)

As I’ve been tidying up my blog—adding features, rearranging things—I have also come across some things written a year or two—or seven—ago that have been a joy to rediscover. Whether inspired afresh by a poignant thought, or had a heart made light by a big laugh, reliving the memories and emotions that were present at the time I wrote those words down has been very enjoyable.

I’ve mentioned a time or two that a nifty tool for drilling down through previously published content on this website is the Related Posts section right at the end of every post. What is extra useful about this tool is that the content is similar to what you’ve just finished reading.

And, I’ve also mentioned that one of my intentions for the Facebook page for this blog (facebook.com/gregsheaddotnet) is to publish links to things previously published here: a journey through the archives. I will most likely continue to do that.

But a thought occurred to me today. What if I would have at least one “break” day per week where I post a link to a previously written article or entry that I think might still have some relevance, some value? Might that be a good way for me to have one day of rest from writing, but still have a “fresh” post here to read, not to mention that it’s a great way to dig through things already said that might be worth hearing again?

I think it just might be!

And thus is born a new series. Your first “From The Archive” post comes from August 25th, 2005. The title is I Want To Be God. By far the best part is, I really did find this quite “randomly” (just a few clicks, when I wasn’t even looking for a piece to repost) but it’s something I’ve been thinking about again, from several different angles.

Maybe God is trying to gently remind me of something? Probably. He’s so good at gentle. And reminding.

Maybe thinking to do this (reposting from the archives) is just the right gentle reminder he has in mind for you, too.

Enjoy. And relax.

You’re not God, either.       <-------click the link there to read the article From The Archive!

by Greg

Relating

You might think I write because I have answers. Or maybe that I think I have answers. Sometimes I guess I do have a certain bit of information I learned that I’d like to share, or a thought on something that might be worth your consideration, it’s true. But often I will write more because of questions I have, rather than answers.

Tonight is one such night.

I have been thinking about the way we relate to each other as a culture for quite some time now. (Search for “Relationship” in the search box to the right and you’ll see what I mean.) It has been important to me for a number of reasons. How we Christians relate to each other as the church, and also how our family relates to and with the people around us. Life is relationship, so it makes sense to me that this would be a common thought thread through many of my days.

Lately I’ve just been wishing there was another family or two with whom we could “do life”. People that we’d spend several days a week with, for varying lengths of time, sharing the important and unimportant things of life.

There are some folks we see pretty often, and whom I feel know us well and vice versa. These are all valued friendships. I’ve just been wondering why there isn’t more? (And by “more” I simply mean more time; more shared life; more relating.)

And I completely understand that part of it is the way we have chosen to do life.

We are not actually removed from life with other people (there are people all around, and we are glad to be with other people) but we are “removed” from the standard relational structures of our society. We home school our kids, so we are not part of the public school community. (That of course is a huge chunk of life for many people with families similar to ours.) We are not part of a “church with a name”, so though we have many great relationships with Christians whom we share our life with God with… well, we aren’t “part” of that “community”.

It seems to me that we Americans can only relate when we are plugged into a larger social structure. We don’t know how to stop over for tea anymore. We don’t know how to hang out on someone’s porch. (Not in the winter time, of course…) We rely on our busy schedules to keep us near to and connected with the people we know. (And that is how we know anyone at all: by being part of the same activities.) When you are not involved in the “activities” of the busy American life, it’s easy to feel “forgotten”.

Now, the weirdest part—and where I have the most questions—is that I know some busy people who have definitely not forgotten about us, and yet we rarely see them. For one reason or another, there’s just not enough time in the week (or month!) to find ourselves in the same physical space to enjoy some time together. But again, if we were doing the same things, we’d either (1) feel like we had “seen” them, and so met the invisible relational quota, or, (2) be reminded/encouraged to make sure to plan other visiting times, or even just drop by?

I’m really not complaining. Even just today a friend dropped in for a brief visit that was much appreciated. And as I said, God has placed some great people around us and we love being part of their lives and having them in ours.

I’m just so baffled by the way we do this. Trying to work out these thoughts!

Now, I think there are regions of our country, in our culture, who live this out differently. I think maybe the South is a bit more relational by default. We experienced this a little when we spent a week of vacation down south this past fall. Random strangers will begin conversations with you at any place or time, and not always just small talk. That is seems to me a bit “healthier” relationally, but I admit, it could just be a personal preference/personality thing. (But then, how is it nearly universally true of one of our American cultures?)

The point is, we are definitely made for relationship. God wired us that way. We’re not meant to be alone. But are we only meant to be together in order to put on, partake in, or attend some function? Aren’t we on some level just supposed to enjoy the company of each other?

I really love it when people just drop by!

(Is it just a structured vs. unstructured lifestyle question I’m really asking?? No. I really think it’s deeper.)

We are missing something. With all our busyness, we are missing each other. We see each other. And in that way we feel a part of a community, but too often keeping our schedules overpowers the opportunities to give to and draw from the people God has surrounded us with.

And, I will also admit to perhaps over-thinking this. I am definitely wont to do that. But something in my gut says there’s more here. There’s more for us. We have a form of relating but deny it’s power. (To twist a Scripture verse…) 🙂

I’ll keep on this and see what Jesus shows me over the next few days, weeks. Maybe you have something to add? Please do below.

Or, just drop by for tea.

by Greg

Pacific Time Zone Night Owl

When we were spending our days and nights—mostly nights—making music for people, we kept rather late hours. Especially me, I’d say, but also our family as a whole, kids included.

This followed several years of campus ministry, which involved many late nights as well. (Our weekly meeting started at 9:45pm!)

I always joked that we lived on “west coast time”, though it wasn’t really much of a joke! Bedtime was usually after 1:00am; 9:00am was an early wake-up time!

And, for the most part that does continue today, even several years after our full-time touring days have ceased. Those who know us often have a good laugh about our later-than-most schedule.

You’d think this just means we are all “night people” rather than “morning people”. This might be true, except in the case of our sons Alex and Cameron. Maybe throw Emma in there, too. Those two or three can just pop right out of bed and be at 100% first thing in the morning, no matter how early that may be. The rest of us Campbells would likely fall more into the more-productive-at-night category. (Thus my writing often occurs after the hour of 11pm ET.)

Somehow, when I really want to, I have been able to exist on a morning person’s schedule. This past summer I was up most mornings in the 5 o’clock hour to get out for a 2-3 mile walk before the sun was able to roast me. And often on those days, the early start tricks me into feeling “more productive”—only because I technically am more productive (get more things done) since I worked more hours before lunch time!

So, it can be done… but lately…

I have been a Pacific Time Zone night owl!

Really. Since our family vacation week in October I haven’t gone to bed much before 2:00am. After we got home from our vacation, I stayed up very late most nights working on a home improvement project while Jen was in California—which also gave me a reason to stay up late, so I could talk with her after her days were over. Subsequently, I have a hard time rising much before eight o’clock in the morning!

The good thing is, I have never needed much sleep. I still don’t, even in my advanced age. 😉 But, I do need some sleep, so getting late starts to the day can put some extra pressure on. When I am working with other people (partners/fellow collaborators, or clients), they are often two or three hours into their days when I am just getting started. AND, when I am still in full-swing, they are winding down or completely gone.

My kids, though they sleep late, also sometimes suffer from my ultra-late-nightness. When I am up till 3 or 4am—and they are up at 8 or 9am—there’s a good chunk of time for them to get into mischief! And my then-later working schedule means dinners come a bit later, too, pushing into the evening and into bedtimes—even though our bedtimes are 9 and 10-10:30pm.

So I’ve got to try to adjust to my own time zone! I’m not very confident this is going to happen, but I figured maybe writing about it publicly … gives me a better shot?

I’ll have to find another time to read (at length) and write… maybe earlier mornings? (See, the problem with going with the reverse option—trying to be a “morning person”—is then I am tired on the other end of the day! So what to do?!)

For now, I am feeling like this is not working, so I think I’m going to try and shift to a sensible Pacific time zone schedule. Maybe a 10pm PT bedtime? It’s a start… since right now it’s closer to midnight.

If I could ever get adjusted to a true Eastern time zone schedule … well, that would be impressive! For now, I’m gonna stick to some smaller goals.

Drop the “night owl” part, but stay on the west coast.

So… good night!

by Greg

Do I Have A Dream?

The Campbell Family

This week the well-known refrain, “I have a dream!” echoed from the lips of a man who changed the world. We are all quite familiar with the speech. Powerful words, and stirring delivery by a great orator. But the heart of what Martin Luther King declared on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial one late summer’s day nearly fifty years ago was that he had a dream.

Dreams are something that sits at the core of us and is our every motivation, the very fiber of us. His dream was to see all men treated equally. Every person judged by the content of their character, not the color of their skin in contrast to much of the America he lived his life in.

Dreams somehow also sit at an unattainable distance from us. Like two powerful magnets, the dream that is distant pulls on the dream at our core, beckoning us to realize that which we were made to be. Our dream. It’s as though it is at once unattainable, and unavoidable.

Lately—even before the annual rememberance of Dr. King and his famous speeches—I’ve been thinking about my dream. Mainly I’ve been asking myself, “What is my dream?”

And I really don’t know.

I’ve been through a rough patch the past maybe eighteen months, or so. Jen & I both. Maybe it’s even two years, now, I don’t know. But one thing after another… life just taking its toll on us, as it seems to be so good at doing.

Is that why I have lost focus on my “dream”? Or did I just never have one?

When I was a very young kid, I wanted to be a weatherman. Yes, really! I would be sure to get in front of a TV and catch the full weather portion of the daily news broadcast. (As soon as it was over and the sports segment was up I made sure to turn it off as quickly as possible! Hated sports!) 🙂 But, as many early childhood dreams, that really amounted to nothing. I am still interested in science and specifically anything to do with the sky … but that’s about the extent of me living that dream.

As I got older, I imagined myself to be a writer. So much so that when I was pressed to decide what I would do with my life at the ripe old age of sixteen, I chose “Journalism”. Seemed to make sense. A career as a writer! Who could ask for more?

Except, I don’t think writing is my “dream”.

A year at the Journalism school yielded little more than a still-strong allegiance to the Green and White. (I only took one journalism course, and I really don’t remember a thing about it.) I soon transitioned to a local university before deciding to pursue another “dream” and finish my undergraduate work at Cincinnati Bible College.

As I got to be an older teenager, I did grow to love sports. I really could throw the football better than most people I knew. It came pretty easy, but also from lots of “reps”, as they call it in the world of football. I was always throwing a football, even with no one to throw it to! Maybe playing football was my dream?

So while at MSU, I decided to try to walk on with the varsity football team. That was promptly put down, but my “dream” was not.

At the University at Buffalo, I joined the spring football team practice and workouts. Sadly, I never got to play any football. My class schedule conflicted with football practice, so all I got to do was add some muscle to my frame in the weight room. I did also get to meet Joe Reich, brother of the quite famous Buffalo Bills backup QB, Frank Reich, of the Greatest Comeback lore. Joe was the team’s coach in charge of the spring football practices.

Coach Reich was also a believer. We talked about football, about his brother, and also about our common faith. I told him how I’d always wanted to play football (though, “always” was definitely a stretch, I’d say) and, while talking about that dream, we also talked about what I was slowly realizing was maybe my “real” dream: full-time ministry.

I’d been wrestling with that for much of my second year of college. It seemed like God was impressing upon me that there was nothing else that mattered to me than helping people live in the everyday reality of life with a loving Father. I wanted to help people know the same Jesus I had come to know. He was so much more than I’d ever imagined him to be, and I knew others would want to know that, too!

And so I decided to pursue my dream. I left football, and journalism (and, hardest of all, meteorology…) and began taking classes toward a degree from a(n undergrad) seminary.

The funniest part about that dream is that I knew that it wasn’t what I was made to do before I even started it! I nearly did the “kicking and screaming” routine on the way to following this leading! I told God, “I do NOT want to be a preacher!!” And I didn’t. Still don’t. And, I never was (unless filling that role once or twice counts against you?) 🙂

And yet, as I pursued that dream, it felt right. Like I was where I was meant to be. I didn’t completely fit in with the rest of the folks I was going to school with there. I even ended up finding an obscure way to live out my full-time ministry aspirations: Campus Ministry. After doing an internship at Miami University during my senior year, one thing led to another, and I was hired by a church in New York to begin campus outreaches to local universities.

I was living my dream! Mostly… but no? Maybe I wasn’t.

I think I have forgotten to mention here that through the football dream, during the journalism dream (but well after the Weatherman dream) … the lovely Jen Walker was a big part of my dream. 🙂 In a story much too long to share here, God helped me see that I loved her, and I knew I could love her forever as my wife. We remained good friends, kept in touch, and eventually—remember, this is the very short version—we were married! I am still currently living that dream!

(And adding these six amazing kids to the dream has definitely made that my favorite, most meaningful “dream” to date!)

Now, in the interest of keeping it brief… Oh, wait. I think I missed “brief”…

God has continued to seem to move me from one dream to another throughout my life. Maybe you are like that, too? Or maybe you’re more like MLK. He knew what he was made to do, and he did it. He made the bold choices that changed the world. (He apparently made some other poor choices, too. And his bold/good choices got him killed. So it’s not all rosy… but he still had more courage to see his dream come to fruition than most of us do.)

From campus ministry, the seeds of sharing the Life of God through music that had been planted years earlier began to sprout and grow, and before we knew it, we were actually traveling the country singing my songs in every place you can imagine. We were full-time, independent musicians! And it sure seemed that God was arranging so many of the details. It was a fun ride, to be sure. We were living the dream!

I think?

Let’s recap. My dreams so far have been:

  • Weatherman
  • Journalist/Writer
  • Full-time ministry
  • Campus ministry
  • Musician
  • Jen… and our kids

And now, for the past eight years or so, I’ve been designing/building/developing websites for people and businesses. That’s been a great blessing to us. My love for and understanding of technology has certainly lent itself to this “dream”, though to be honest, this has always felt like more of a job than a dream.

But related to the website building, I managed to create a few podcasts. The Buffalo Bills Review allowed me to live out the football “dream” while also writing, and using technology. That was a pretty good “dream”, but it never earned enough money to justify the time I was putting into it.

AND, I have yet to share this story more publicly, but just about a year ago we were really, really close to opening a restaurant! Now that is pretty close to a dream right there. Maybe the closest. I love making food for people, I love being with people… both of those and more fit right in with the plans we had for the restaurant.

That is currently not my wife’s dream, though, and God saw fit to swiftly and decisively close all of the doors we though he had opened toward the restaurant endeavor. It was sad, a bit shocking, but in retrospect, definitely wise and needed for the year that was to come. (I love when we can see Father’s wisdom in the recent past.)

All of this to say, I sit here in early 2012, nearing four decades of existence on this planet, and I’m really not sure what my “Dream” is. I don’t think I’m having a mid-life crisis. I don’t feel like it’s a “crisis”. I just really can’t say what it is that is at the core of me. That distant, unattainable goal that is irresistably drawing me to itself.

Is that normal? Is it normal to wonder that?

I’d guess that it is. You might not know what your “dream” is, either.

But I do know a few very important things.

One, Jen and our kids are definitely one of my dreams. I want to spend my days pouring myself into them.

I was not wrong when I first realized that all I wanted to do in life was help people know Jesus the way I had come to know him. That’s looked different all through my life, but that is still definitely at the core of who I am.

I do still get to write (as you can see here… in this very long post!) and I do play football with my kids, and I do still make music (usually with my kids) and I certainly get to make food for people (most often my kids…)

Hmm. Could it be that simple? Have I found my dream?

That’s where I might be defining “dream” differently than I need to.

Each day I get to do all of those things for and with my family. I even get to “help people live in the everyday reality of life with a loving Father”. It just happens that the “people” are most often my wife and kids. 🙂

Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song for his wife, Mary Beth, called One Little Heartbeat at a Time. The chorus says:

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

I may not be leading huge marches, or speaking to hundreds of thousands of people. I may never have a holiday in my honor. (You never know, though, I suppose…)

But I do love my kids. So much. And I am so glad that I get to spend my life with Jen, who is still my favorite person in the world.

That really is my dream. I don’t know that I have a “dream” job, or a life-cause as most might see it. But I do have a dream. I have a dream that one day my kids will live full lives of being loved by their true Father, and loving and serving everyone he places around them. I have a dream that one day my kids will be known by the content of their character, not by anything position they hold or possessions they own. I have a dream that one day I will get to see their kids—my grandkids—and the joy that God has given us in being the parents of these six new Image Bearers will multiple many fold.

I want to love and be loved. Loved by my Father, and love all who are around me. I want to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with my God. Wherever and how that plays out every day is very secondary.

So I guess I do have a dream. And—lucky me—I’m living it!