Category / Life With God

by Greg

When Jesus Is Powerless?

I was reminded of a time from the book of Mark where the Bible says Jesus was not able to perform miracles, and could only heal “a few people”.

When I first heard that again, it struck me as quite odd. Here is the Creator of all that is, and he is actually limited by a group of people’s lack of faith? Couldn’t he work around that somehow? It says he was only able to heal a few people. How strange.

In other instances, Jesus does say, “Your faith has made you well.” But, I guess I always just glanced over that a bit. I mean, really. It’s not our faith, but God’s power, right? Isn’t it? Well, if it is… how was it that Jesus was unable to perform miracles in his hometown? How is it that he was so limited?

I think this is a neat reminder that though Jesus certainly was the Word through whom the universe was created, he was also fully, 100% man. He did nothing without the Father’s lead. That concept just doesn’t make sense. You can’t be 100% of two things. That would be 200%, and that’s not possible by definition. But Jesus is, and was, and that’s just a tad confusing. 🙂

Just a little something to get you thinking…

by Greg

Friends, and Friends of Friends

As I was working on restoring our trailer yesterday (more about that later…) I was listening to a few podcasts, including the latest God Journey. The episode title was the same as the title of this post. Wayne Jacobsen was telling the story of his recent trip to Ireland to gather with around 100 people from all over the world, just to be together. It wasn’t a conference with any sort of program or agenda, just a gathering of friends.

While he was there he said he realized that the Body of Christ is not about what we do together really, “the Body of Christ is friends, and friends of friends”. He saw that as people from all over the world were connecting that week through other connections. “Hi [friend]! I’d like to introduce you to [my other friend].” And once the introduction had taken place, Jesus’ body was grown and strengthened as they shared stories of what God has done and is doing in them.

There was not one sermon, not one time where everyone sat and listened to one person. There was only one song they all sang together. There were times when they were all together, but the focus was on each other, not any one thing they were doing. In a gathering of 100 people, there might have been 50 conversations. And again, none of this was planned or scheduled… they just let it happen. And it did.

So, it sounded like a cool week where part of the body of Christ was enjoying life as (perhaps) it’s meant to be. It was encouraging to hear how God had brought all of those people together, one relationship at a time, over 30 years or so.

Toward the end of the podcast, as Wayne was reflecting on that week and some other recent events in his life, he said this:

“The fact that they’ve been 30 years related to each other says a whole lot about the fact that they didn’t have an organization to carry together, because if they would have had an organization to carry together, they likely wouldn’t still be in fellowship all of them with each other.

That’s what our [personal] track record is like. … If we hadn’t had this machine among us, and the fight for who could control it, who was willing to fight to control it, we’d probably still be great friends today. Actually, the power of the institution got between us. There was something to fight over, something to own, something to have.”

And I think those words instantly made me stop what I was doing, and make a mental note to go back and write them down. I know I have probably said something like that here before, but it is so true, and was evidenced at a party we were at this weekend.

My brother-in-law was being celebrated by his church for 25 years of service there. Twenty-five years is a LOT of years! He has also been married that long as of this coming October. So we were twice celebrating his oldness! 🙂 It was fun.

Part of the celebration was a slideshow of various moments over the past 25 years. It was nice to relive the memories, and to see old faces. (Some are not with us any more.) But as the slideshow went along, I noticed two things. First, one of the main memories was building a new building. I certainly remember how much effort we put into doing that. (That’s when I was on staff with that group as well.) It certainly was a major event in the timeline of that group’s existence. But it dominated a good portion of the slideshow, when I wished we could see more photos of people…

Second, and most disheartening, was once we got back to people, over and over all I could see were people who had been somehow hurt by others in the church, and had left hurt, disgraced, or disgruntled. I actually hope that I was the only one who noticed that. But I really did. So many faces of people who were somehow either hurt enough to leave, or else had no other option but to leave. Good people who were prime time players in the goings on of this organization.

Then I heard the words Wayne said regarding his observation of that group of believers in Ireland. They have no organization to protect. All they have is their shared life together. There’s no building, no programs, no schedule, no “Purpose“… just 30 years of living life together with Jesus in common. I couldn’t help but connect that thought with what I had seen and felt during that slideshow.

I know that people move on, and relationships (maybe even mostly) are “for a season”. But I don’t believe they have to end with hurt. Unfortunately, the specific organization I am talking about (as evidenced by what Wayne said) is not alone in its track record of disagreements leading to fractured fellowship. I am convinced that if we didn’t have a “Thing” to protect, or to run, or to serve… we would enjoy being together that much more. The “Thing” (Wayne called it a “machine”) definitely gets in between us. It can bring us together, but quite often, in the end, it gets in between us.

Living life outside of that Thing is interesting. It’s certainly freeing, and we have never known God so personally and completely involved in everything we do more than we do now. It’s also a bit frustrating relationally as many times we are not able to spend time with the friends we have made over the years because they are otherwise scheduled with events, gatherings, or meetings related to their particular Thing. Busyness is probably more an American problem than a problem with the Thing, but it is certainly evidenced there as well. But we are in America, so we have certainly seen that busyness limiting our time to just enjoy relationship with our friends who are Christians.

I don’t really have a neat summary point to all of this. Just sharing some observations from the weekend. I really think it’s true that we could really experience what the body of Christ is so much more if we weren’t trying to do these “Things”. I certainly have the limited perspective of just being me, and my 33 years or so on the planet. But from where I am now, and what I have seen… life is about people and relationships, not about what we do.

Seems that’s quite well applied to the church, too.

by Greg

No Needy People Among Them…

All the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had … and God’s great blessing was upon them all. There were no needy people among them, because those who owned land or houses would sell them and bring the money to the apostles to give to those in need.

Acts 4:32-35 (NLT)

Last night I had a dream. It was crazy. One of those very vivid dreams, and almost seemed relevant to some issues pressing on my mind and heart of late. I awoke this morning still contemplating all that I could remember from it. Some, or perhaps all of it, was related to the Scripture I later remembered and you just read above.

We were at some sort of convention of Christians. It was not a “church” thing, nor was it a “Christian convention”. It was a convention of (mostly) Christians. One of the speakers – at least for the event that I witnessed in the dream – was a friend of mine from college, whom I admire in real life for his skills and business savvy. He does business well. He was doing it well in this dream.

After one of the main session times, we were chatting (he, and I, and Jen) and he said, “Man, that was so great! I heard that one person just donated $25,000 on the spot to [this thing we were raising money for]!” (Note: I can’t remember what it was we were raising money for… but it was some facility or program or something that was to help people… it wasn’t a church building, or a church program even… but it was Christians working together, raising money for this thing.)

My reaction was, “Wow. That is amazing.” But, along with being impressed by the generosity, I was also amazed that we were spending money on this facility or program. First, I was impressed with my friend, who somehow had managed to convince people to donate such large amounts of money… 🙂 But then I was both impressed (as stated above) and then incredulous at what we throw money at.

In the dream, I turned to Jen and shared those thoughts with her, and then began to think aloud.

“What we really should do together,” I theorized, “is give large sums of money like that to some organization that gets Christians out of debt. Clean slate, everything-is-forgiven out of debt. No questions asked.” I felt like I was on a roll, so I continued, “We create this organization that is a non-profit, 501c3 organization and convince Christians who have plenty to donate sums like that $25,000 – receiving their tax deduction, of course – and the organization would distribute the money to Christians who are swimming in debt.

“Of course, we couldn’t do that for ourselves,” I explained, “since it might look a little fishy. But we could take a salary as the folks who run the whole thing.” Jen’s eyes lit up at that (in the dream still), as (at least in my conscious mind) she is always wishing we had just a little bit more money to pay our bills and buy groceries. I continued, “There would be no stipulations… just an enormous, overpowering debt that could be wiped clean by the Church… Christians helping Christians. ‘And there were no needy people among them…'”

I actually don’t remember where the dream ended, but it was somewhere around there. As my conscious thoughts took over, I began to think of the ramifications of my plan. At first, it seemed quite a fine idea. It seems to me to be a much better use of money – actually helping people instead of building buildings, or creating more stuff to do. And I thought of a couple refinements that might make the idea actually fly.

First, the receiving family would commit to destroying all of their credit cards, except one. But that one would be reduced to no more than a $5000 credit limit, for emergencies. What good would it be to pay off someone’s debt if materialism – in whatever form – is the real problem? The debt will just return again.

Second, there will be ABSOLUTELY NO APPLICATIONS. The church (as you have noticed from everything I write and/or say) can not function as an institution. In so doing, you remove the life, the heart, the humanity from it. The funds would be distributed via relationships. Slower, yes. But a more vital and real solution to a difficult issue? I think so. People whose debt could be relieved would meet with someone from the organization, face to face, and after a meeting or two, funds could be apportioned.

So, theoretically, it all made good sense… and if it worked, a nice salary would help us pay our bills, and (eventually) eliminate our own debt.

But as I thought of all the logistics, and how much I seriously loathe dealing with money, and just how crazy money makes people – and how easily I would be taken advantage of… it became QUITE clear that even if this was a cool idea that came to me in a dream… I am definitely not the person to make it happen!.

Are you? Is this a good idea? Is there something already like this? What I have seen is that places help reduce debt… and teach folks how to better manage their money… but nothing as full of grace and so very church-in-Acts-like as my crazy dream-born idea.

I would be curious what you (especially if you are a follower of Jesus) think about such an idea… is it even possible in America where all must fend for themselves… you have to earn your keep… work for what you get… etc, etc, etc.

Any thoughts?

by Greg

No Other Gods…

My neighbor has a blog (that I shant link, since I believe it is not a public blog…) and she was sharing some stuff about her (successful) endeavor to quit smoking. One line caught my eye. She likened her smoking to idolatry. Now, I don’t think that smoking by itself is a sin, or idolatrous. My neighbor says it is for her, and so, she is right. It’s something that gets in between her and God.

When she said that, I thought, “You know, that’s a cool way of thinking about idolatry.” God tells us to have no other gods before him. And “ta not to” worship idols. That is mostly meaningless to us today, because no one (not many?) actually build big ugly stone “idols” and offer sacrifices or bow and/or pray to them. Do they? So, it’s hard to connect with what God is saying there. But if you think of God’s ultimate goal for us is to reconcile us to him, in full relationship with him… he doesn’t want anything getting in the way of that full connection with him. (For our sake, not his.)

I remember hearing that nowadays an idol can be pretty much anything… a relationship, a favorite hobby, even just drinking Coke. And I think probably Sunday school teachers can take that a bit too far. But what my neighbor said helped me see that idea from a slightly different perspective. The badness is not that God is not getting all of us, and we’re somehow not measuring up… the badness is that whatever is distracting us from the fullness of the relationship he intends us to be in with him is limiting the Life we’re supposed to be living. That can be smoking, drinking, gossiping, even just the internet and checking e-mail? 🙂

You’ve heard it said that God wants all of us, and I believe that’s true… but I am not sure that I have completely understood that over the years. I think I understand that God’s motivation is not to be the cosmic Rule Enforcer, but rather, the friend and Father who only wants the best for us. I know I want that for my kids, and I am so flawed in my fatherhood it’s ridiculous. So if I can even know that love that wants my kids to have the fullest life possible… flawed as I am… how much greater is that desire in our perfect Father?

Anyhoo… thanks neighbor for some good thoughts on why God wants to get the stuff out of our life that gets between us and him. And congrats on six months. 🙂

by Greg

Audiobook Update

There's The Steeple... Here's The Church - Audiobook!Installment #2 was just posted over at the There’s The Steeple… Here’s The Church podcast. It is available through iTunes, so that might be the best way to follow along if you’d like. There’s a link to subscribe under “feeds” in the right-hand column on that site.

This week’s chapter (chapter one) is called, “Redefining Church”. I probably won’t advertise too much more on this blog, so hop on over and bookmark, or subscribe, or whatever you need to do if you’re interested. 🙂

by Greg

Ian Jeffrey Campbell: God’s Gracious Gift

Ian Jeffrey Campbell

A Little Background…
As we approached our first anniversary, life was a whirlwind of new things. Not only were we celebrating the first year of our marriage, we were also expecting our first baby! He was definitely planned, expected, and greatly anticipated. We were a bit surprised at how early he was coming into our family, but we grew more excited as the weeks and months went by to meet our first baby in late January of 1999.

Campus ministry was going OK. Marriage was not. How come no one told us it would be this hard? Perhaps they did, but we brushed them off as people who weren’t “really trying” or had just forgotten the love they once had for each other. Well, even with the anticipation that comes with your first child, things were still pretty rough in the early going of our life together. Trying to meld two individual lives into one took its toll on both of us, I think.

And this baby was taking its toll on Jen. Of all the pregnancies Jen has carried since, this one was by far the most draining on her. We didn’t know what to expect, since this was our first, but we learned that being pregnant makes you very tired, and a bit more emotional… and a very picky eater! Jen only wanted smashed potatoes with lots of butter and salt. 🙂 I learned very quickly to make meals for Jen to her exact specifications!

As we worked our way into the fall months, life was busy as always. I was working as a bus driver, in addition to the campus ministry, in addition to several other duties with our small church in Victor, NY. We were also attempting to raise support to work for the church who could not pay us at that time. Lots going on.

During this fall season of 1998, on one of our fall visits to Clarence, NY to spend time with family, we received some disturbing news. In fact, I think it may have been a visit to celebrate Jen’s birthday (October 28th). Jen has three (considerably) older brothers. The three of them are only three years apart in age, but they are all at least 11 years older than Jen. The middle of those three brothers is Jeff. Jeff is a different sort of fellow… kind heart, loves helping people… not able to do a lot of things that other folks his age could do. But that didn’t stop Jeff from being awesome. 🙂

That October 28th (1998), as we were wrapping up the night of fun, Jeff began telling us of his recent visits to the doctor. They were watching some strange marks on his legs. (I forget these many years later if it was both legs or just on one. The image in my mind is only on one leg.) He pulled up his pant leg to reveal some very dark, black marks – almost like bruises, but looking more like veins – creeping up his leg from his foot. It was certainly shocking, but … not an easily identifiable danger. He was scared as he showed us, and reported what the doctors were saying. But we reassured him that it would probably be OK, and that the doctors would help him figure out what was going on.

Jen & I probably chatted a bit on the ride home about what we had seen and heard from Jeff that night. It was a little scary, but we trusted that the doctors would figure something out, and that Mom & Dad would help Jeff get through whatever might be ailing his body this time. They were all pretty good at that by now, and we rested in knowing that.

A Turn For The Worse
Life continued as normal for the next week. We went about our regular business. Jen’s belly continued its slow growth. I’m sure there were good things and bad things that happened from October 28th, 1998 until the next Wednesday, November 4th, 1998, but most of them have long since faded from memory.

Not true for Wednesday, November 4th, 1998.

I remember the phone call. I can’t remember if it was from brother Jon, or Andy. (OK, the details are a bit foggy, but there are very vivid images in my memory from that day.) What I do remember are the words, “Jeff is dead.”

“WHAT? How can that BE???” Jeff was way too young for this to even be possible. I remembered the marks on his legs and the hint of fear in his voice, and everything just rushed back into my mind along with the overwhelming feelings of pure bewilderment. “How can this be?”

The tears flowed freely. We gathered at Mom & Dad’s house and just hugged, cried, sat in silence, and dealt with the details and the many visitors who came to share in the grief, or offer help where – or if – they could.

Though there was definitely a big hole in our lives left by Jeff’s sudden passing, we did manage to begin getting back to the “normal” routine over the next couple weeks. Campus ministry continued, bus driving continued, and the baby continued to grow inside Jen.

It was not too long after Jeff died that both Jen and I separately thought that we should name our baby after Jeff, if the baby was indeed a boy. Jen had an inkling that it was, and somehow, once Jeff died, we both knew “for sure” that it would be. We had the first name picked out already, but a different middle name, that we weren’t too sure of anyway. And there really was no question that if we did indeed have a boy – and it only seemed fitting that we would – we would certainly name him Ian Jeffrey.

It was already November, so the time was passing quickly. End of the semester events, holiday preparations. Life was certainly not back to normal for Jen’s mom & dad. We prayed daily for them, I think, and made sure to keep tabs on how they were doing. Jeff’s death was a horrendous experience for them. Maybe especially for Dad. He was the one that found Jeff. He was the one that felt the responsiblity – perhaps even burden? – to care for him for 36 years. They had their spats, to be sure. I was witness to a handful of them, and Jen can attest to so many more. But Jim & Carolyn loved their little boy (who was not so little!) and his sudden removal from their lives was just plain crushing.

Christmas was fast approaching, and we were just getting through all the stuff that needed to be gotten through leading up to a Christmas Eve service at our tiny little church building in Victor, NY. That would be the final event before a little Christmas break to be with family. It was the down time between semesters, Christmas and New Year’s… a great time for a break.

But we had to get through Christmas Eve first!

Christmas Eve, 1998
It was our first Christmas Eve service at the Church of Christ at Victor. I can’t recall right now if I was there in 1996 (my first year there on staff) but I do know we had not been there in 1997, as we spent that Christmas season with my parents in Ohio. So we weren’t quite sure what to expect. At least, I wasn’t. I and my ever-growing pregnant wife arrived at the little building about an hour before time to begin and the room where the service would be held was already packed!!! Ha! I couldn’t believe it! So, I scrambled around (in front of everyone) to get all of our musical equipment set up, and the night pretty much was just a blur from there on.

Christmas songs, smiles and hugs between friends, even a bit of home made egg nog if I remember correctly… it was a nice Christmas Eve service. After all had finished, and we’d done a bit of clean up, we packed up and headed out for the hour and fifteen minute drive to Jen’s parents’ house.

We arrived late, but talked till later. That’s a Walker family tradition I have learned. The best chats are usually after the day has been completely exhausted, and everyone retires to their various seats in the living room. It’s just a place no one wants to leave, no matter how tired they might be. (Or, how pregnant!) So we stayed up and chatted for a good while… probably hit the hay near midnight that night. Definitely heavier hearts than normal… mixed emotions as we headed into Christmas morning. The first one without Jeff.

Now we were completely unprepared for what was about to befall us. We were not expecting a baby until JANUARY 25TH. It was only December 25th. We had been reading some childbirth books, and certainly were eager to meet our new baby…. just… not yet.

About 2am (I think… maybe 4am?), I awake to find Jen is missing… and in the bathroom. I’ll spare you the graphic details, but she was spending a little more time in there than normal, so I was certainly curious. She finally came back to where we were sleeping and I asked, “So, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know… I think my water broke.” she said, a bit confused.

“You think?” I wasn’t sure what that meant. I hadn’t ever experienced such a thing, of course, but… wouldn’t you know??? “What do you mean, ‘I think’?” I queried.

She explained what had been going on for a while now, and it sure sounded like her water had broken to me! From what we had read in the books, I knew that was time to spring into action – even if we were a WHOLE MONTH ahead of schedule. But we talked about it, and Jen decided it was OK to wait till a more decent hour to call our midwife. She was back in Rochester, and could tell us what we should do. The contractions were not very severe, so we just decided to wait.

Everything progressed steadily through the night – Jen did not get much sleep, but then again, neither did I! – and at about 8:30 am we phoned our midwife. She was very excited for us, and said that the best thing to do would be to come to Rochester if we thought we could make it. Jen thought we could, so off we went.

A Different Sort of Christmas Morning
Now, this is one of the comical memories of the day. We all pile in my in-law’s car, Jen & I in the back, Mom in the passenger seat timing contractions, and Dad driving… fast. If you know Jim Walker, you probably know that he’s a very law-abiding citizen. He likes to do the right thing. Well in this case, his love for his daughter, or grand-baby, or perhaps his love for his car’s upholstery permitted his conscience to drive at about 90 mph on the NY State Thruway. 🙂 We’ve never made such good time to Rochester! 🙂

The contractions continued, and all seemed to be progressing just fine. Except that it was Christmas morning! Obviously plans had changed a bit for the day! Instead of waking up, sharing some food, opening presents – and missing Jeff – we were speeding down the highway, ready to have a new baby!!!

We arrived at Rochester General Hospital sometime in the 10 o’clock hour, and got checked in and did all of the preparatory stuff. Got settled in a room, and Jen got ready to have a baby! Not getting much sleep the night before, we could see she was a bit weak, so our midwife suggested lunch. And so, we ate lunch.

I actually don’t remember lunch one bit. I vaguely remember Jen trying to force down a few things, but not really wanting anything. I have no idea if I ate or not. I do remember we were all there… and looking forward to a new baby! I believe Jen’s oldest brother, Jon, and family had joined us by this point. They were going to come over to Clarence for the Christmas Day festivities, but that was preempted by this pending birth.

Oddly enough, though the labor had begun in the middle of the night (and hadn’t stopped), Jen’s body was not showing much progress. The doctors weren’t too concerned about that yet… but we were certainly getting tired. Poor Jen! She was falling asleep – sitting up – between contractions! Maria, our midwife, was calm and relaxing, carrying on a conversation with Jen & me, and anyone else in the room… offering advice at various points as to what might help Jen. She did a great job.

Well, the hours turned into even more hours, and the rest of the family decided to make the trip over from Buffalo to Rochester! Jen’s brother Andy, as well as the family who had adopted Jeff’s kids (whom we had adopted into our family) eventually joined us at Rochester General. What’s the point in spending Christmas day over there when the party was clearly here!!! From what we were told, there was quite the party in the waiting room by that Friday evening. 🙂

All this time, Jen went ahead with our desired drug-free course. Her body was growing very weary, though. This was WAY harder on her than I expected it would be. I mean, I watch the movies and stuff, but this went on a LOT longer than any TV birth I had ever seen. (I guess editing helps that a lot…) 🙂 They asked if she wanted any pain medication, but she held on and politely refused the offer.

By the evening time, more and more doctors began to visit the room. Jen was in the 35th week on the 6th day – or, one day before “full term” – so the docs were watching this particular birth a bit more than normal. Because this labor was taking so long after the water broke, some of the doctors were a bit concerned and wanted to do an internal monitor thingie. We didn’t really want that, but this was definitely not going exactly as we had planned, so… we agreed. The test revealed that all was still going just fine… just going very sloooooowly.

We were getting close though. Right around the 9pm hour, things started really crankin’. We had been having regular visitors to the room throughout the night. Jen’s mom & dad, our friend Leah wanted to be there for the actual birth, so she had been for a few hours. A niece here, a nephew there, a brother here, a sister-in-law there. But more than that, those doctors kept coming to take a peak at the not full-term lady. It was kinda crazy. But it GOT CRAZIER. As Jen went into full labor, the room FILLED with doctors. It was nuts! I just stayed up by the head of the bed on one side of Jen. Leah was on the other, and somewhere nearby was Jen’s mom and our midwife, Maria.

It was quite a party for Ian’s arrival! 🙂

God’s Gracious Gift
Ian dancing with his sister KirstenThe final stage of labor actually went pretty quickly, which I was so glad for. And at 9:19pm on Friday, December 25th, 1998, we were given our first baby… a boy. I just cried. As soon as I saw him I cried. I don’t cry much. So, I was a bit surprised at that sudden rush of emotion. But it’s all I could do. It was the culmination of 8 months of waiting for a baby with great anticipation. It was the culmination of 2 months of sorrow and sadness and loss… replaced with great joy and a healthy new baby boy! It was the culmination of a long – very different – Christmas day spent with the extended Walker clan at a hospital in Rochester.

There were probably 20 people in that room with Jen & me, and our new baby. Maybe more. A few moments – who knows how long – after the baby was born, and we were holding him, Jen’s dad asked from the back of the long room, “What’s his name, Greg? What’s his name???” I looked at Jen and offered her the chance to give her parents the gift we had somehow almost known we’d be able to give. She was just too exhausted and motioned for me to go ahead.

“His name is Ian,” and I paused, then said clearly, but emotionally, “Jeffrey… Campbell.”

I don’t remember exactly what happened, but there was a definite understanding in the room that this new baby boy was named after the family member whose absence still hurt us all. God had given us a gift – on Christmas day no less – and his name was Ian Jeffrey, after his Uncle Jeff, whom he never knew. We later learned that the name Ian means “God’s Gracious Gift”. We had simply chosen it because it was the Scottish name we liked the most.

But I think God had other plans.

I don’t remember when the party died down that night, but eventually it did. My parents also came up that weekend to meet their first grandson. That was a joy as well. They brought us pizza and wings, and we watched the Bills game in the hospital that Sunday afternoon! 🙂 All were happy to meet this new little Christmas boy, Ian Jeffrey Campbell.

Ian couldn’t have been healthier. The nurses and doctors were all thrilled at how healthy he was. He was a bit on the scrawny side (the fat comes in the final month of gestation…) but overall the thing they were most concerned about was his “slight jaundice”. (I told the nurses that wasn’t jaundice… Jen is kind of yellow too!) So, they ran lots of tests on him, just to be sure, but all checked out normal. I tried to tell everyone that he was just fine… that God had a purpose for him, and so he was just fine.

Ian was indeed God’s Gracious Gift. He was given to us on a Christmas Day. Usually a time of family togetherness and celebration that, for the Walker clan in 1998, was marred by the sudden loss of our brother Jeff. When we imagined we’d be feeling the emptiness of death, we instead spent the entire day anticipating life, and we were given another Jeffrey.

All four Campbell Kids

The Marks
One more interesting thing about Ian’s arrival here on the planet. Do you recall the strange marks on Jeff’s legs just before he died? Well God gave them to Ian. They aren’t as scary looking as Jeff’s, and sure, they’re slightly different. But, not long after he was born, we noticed some marks that go all the way down his left leg – which if my memory is correct, is the leg that Jeff showed us that night in October. They are not exactly the same, but it is just crazy that Ian even got those crazy marks that match his Uncle Jeff. Now, I do have a strange birthmark that extends over a good portion of my left arm, but these are just a bit different, and “coincidentally” just where the marks were on Jeff’s body before he died.

I don’t think any of our other children so far have fit into a bigger picture like Ian did on his birth day. Ian was born at just the right time for so many more people than just him. His story is bigger than just him. That doesn’t take anything away from any of our other children who we have seen added to our family. Each of those days is certainly memorable as well. But there’s no denying that we gave Ian Jeffrey the right name, even before we knew how any of the events would unfold.

Ian truly is God’s gracious gift.

by Greg

Control vs. Responding

Not long ago I mentioned that something was stewing in Ye Old Greg’s Head… and indeed it has been. Head, heart, you name it. It seems that many places I turn these days the following thoughts pop in for a visit. Sometimes short, sometimes longer… but seeming to weave their way through a bunch of different areas effortlessly.

I was reminded of this trend today in a conversation with my neighbor. They just returned home with his wife’s daughter – who is moving in with them for a while, going to college in the area – and he was sharing some stories illustrating how she does not handle change very well. Not well at all. 🙂 And I immediately thought of my sister, and a few other folks who really prefer to have a routine, and any deviation from that really, really throws them off.

“I think I have recently noticed,” I told my neighbor, “that people who don’t handle change well may indeed be personality-related, but I think it’s something we all deal with on some level. We need to control stuff. Some of us more than others. Some of that has got to be built-in… but I think a lot of it – especially the ability to go with the flow – is (or can be) learned.”

My neighbor completely agreed. Gave his dad as an example of “mellowing out”. As he has gotten older, he is much more “go with the flow”, “mellow”, or just able to deal with what life brings. Is this a personality? Is it a learned skill? Is it just life experience and wisdom from years on the planet? Maybe it’s all of them?

Whatever it is, I have noticed that I really, really prefer to try responding to instead of controlling my world.

Let me give you a few of the examples that I was talking about in last week’s teaser.

First, if you haven’t noticed (or if you are new here, and don’t know us personally) we do stuff a little differently. We never dated. We didn’t kiss until our wedding day. We have four children… and want more. We home school those same children. We love Jesus, and his church, but we don’t attend any “church” as we have grown up knowing them. All of that is a little different than the societal “norm”.

Recently as we thought about home schooling, Jen & I were just marveling at the idea of institutionalizing learning. It really baffles us now that we have been down this “home schooling” path for quite a while. See, home schooling does not mean school at home. We don’t have a set time for “classes” every day. We do have “table time” for basic math, writing skills, etc, but that occurs only a couple times a week (if that!) and we consider that only the smallest part of our kids education. The real learning happens all the rest of the time. Those things are just a few necessary skills for life. And really they aren’t learned during a “lesson” time… they are learned as they are put into practice in the rest of life.

Institutions teach us the opposite. The real learning of any value happens in the academic (institutional) setting. Knowledge must be passed along in a structured way, at a certain time. I think we were talking about the way NY State thinks they know what each of our kids should learn at what age. My sister lives in Maryland and had an interesting experience with the school system telling her to “slow down” with her daughter… she “knows too much”! Holy cow!

I know that there must be some value in institutions, but I am growing farther and farther away from that type of thinking. See, in that model, uniqueness of individuals is too easily lost. My son Ian can read like an 8th grader, writes like a kindergartner, does math at probably a 3rd or 4th grade level… and those are just the “academic skills”. Interpersonal communication – he’s off the charts. His memory is fantastic, way better than most anyone I know. He is very artistic, creative. And he just loves people, and is so good at considering others. But he’s also a huge goofball who often needs to be reminded to focus on what he’s doing. That’s quite a mix of levels there. But the state institution would have us believe that Ian should be doing A, B, C, and D – for 180 days a year, or some amount of hours – when he is a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th grader.

What an institution is trying to do is control learning. It is the attempt by a group of people or a society to contain, package, and repeatedly apply with a broad brush something that I don’t think can be contained that way. Mainly because I think learning happens in life, and life can not be contained, packaged, or otherwise transferred en masse.

The same goes for the way we live today as the church. We have created hugely elaborate systems (ok, some are less “elaborate”) 😉 to pass along life with Jesus. We know it’s a great thing, and want everyone to experience it – everyone needs it, right? – so we have all these great ways that have worked in the past (or, we get the occasional “new” idea…) that we try to contain, package and then apply to the next person who comes in the door.

Just like with learning… life with God can not be contained, packaged or mass distributed. At least, not in my experience. God is living. An individual who interacts with each of us personally. Individually. You can’t say for me how God is going to lead, direct, teach, interact with me. You can tell me what your experience has been with him, and in many ways that may be similar to mine… but it can’t be neatly contained so as to repeat it again with similar results.

There’s the thing right there. We love the idea that we can control life. That’s what institutions are. Church, School, Government, etc, etc, etc. These are systems we create to manage people in a similar way to produce similar results. Problem is, we’re really not all that similar. I mean, we kinda are… that’s why it kinda works. But only kinda.

The alternative I have noticed is what God has led us into over the past several years. We have consistently been learning to structure and plan less of our lives, and to follow the daily lead of our Leader. We have freed up our schedule a LOT and that has allowed us a lot more time to be together as a family, with our four very young kids. That’s awesome! It’s given us the freedom to respond to last minute invitations, as well as offer last minute invites to friends/neighbors who pop into our minds.

Fewer plans also allows us to just enjoy where we are at that moment. We aren’t trying to accomplish some other things while doing whatever we’re doing. Jen just shared with me tonight that this week she has tried to stop doing other things while playing with the kids outside. And late in the week she finally noticed that she wasn’t frustrated anymore when Julia needed something, or Alex asked her to watch him do something. She was available to respond in the moment, not trying to follow a plan.

And as I mentioned above, we try to do most everything we do in a “responding” way instead of a “controlled” way. Life with other Christians (the Church), “educating” our children. I can’t even really write it, cause it’s just… not a thing. We don’t even consider it a separate area of life. It just IS life. Both of those things.

Is any of this making sense? It’s almost 2:30 am, and there are so many thoughts in my head on this, and so many occasions to which it has so clearly applied… I know there will be people who will misunderstand what I am saying and think that I mean that no good comes from a plan. Plans are fine. They won’t always work, but if that is known ahead of time, one can respond to whatever actually happens with greater ease. It’s not really that… it’s a general approach to life.

Do you want to go through life taking control (or at least, attempting to), or would you rather respond to life as it comes? The latter does not mean sitting on your butt waiting for life to come to you… it means in your heart, are you about your own agenda, your own purpose… or are you open and available for God to lead you to what he is doing in that moment? Are you able to respond to life as it happens, or just break down (like our neighbor’s daughter) when something changes that seems momentarily big?

I definitely feel like God is teaching me to respond to life rather than try to control it. And I have noticed that such an approach certainly requires a good deal of trust in him. But it also certainly offers great freedom, and peace, and I think the great “reward” of a richer, fuller life. At least… in the important things.

I am not certain that approach would lead you to be a good CEO of a giant corporation… but, who knows? If that’s what God wants you to be… he’ll lead you there!

I guess the question is… are we leading, or are we following the Leader? Are we trying to control, or are we free to respond?

by Greg

There’s The Steeple… Here’s The Church – AUDIOBOOK!

There's The Steeple... Here's The Church - AUDIOBOOK!I finally have posted the first chapter of the audio version of the book I published last year, There’s The Steeple… Here’s The Church! I may have mentioned this here before, but if I did not, I’m sure I explain it on the page I just linked you to. The plan is to record and release each chapter as a podcast, and encourage discussion and perhaps just encourage people to live in the greatness that is life with God and his Church.

If you haven’t heard of my book, published last July, you can purchase it through my bookstore (click the links at the top of this site) or you can even download a free PDF of the book there as well.

I am in the process of adding the podcast to iTunes, and hope to be able to get ahead on the recordings so that I can post a chapter at least weekly. Perhaps ambitious, but we’ll see.

Thankfully, I don’t need much sleep! 🙂

If you know anyone who is wanting more than sitting in the pew on Sundays, or going through the motions of “church life”… perhaps God is calling them to a life that is infused with more of him? We have found that to be true, and I hope that this, another version of the text collected over the past couple years, will be an encouragement to people to follow Him in that.

So check it out, and please do spread the word. I’ll have the iTunes link up as soon as they send me the link!

gregshead.net/church

(I think you can drag that link to your browser bar (in Safari, at least) and it will automatically generate a bookmark!)

by Greg

Rules vs. Relationship

At the home of some good friends the other night, my son Ian told our hosts that Alex didn’t like something (I forget what) because he doesn’t like rules… “just like Dad.” 🙂 That gave our friends a little chuckle (maybe partly because they know it’s true!) and initiated a brief conversation about the need for rules in society. One opinion was that, in our fallen state, we need rules. We can’t function without them. Another opinion (mine) was that we are not made to be bound by rules. Ideally we live free – governed by our own internal rules. I do admit that not everyone chooses to live this way, which necessitates the “rules”, but that’s why I think rules are always hurtful. They never help, they always limit and detract from the fullness of whatever they are trying to protect.

But I could still completely see the other point of view. So I pondered a bit more why I think it’s possible to live sans rules. What I came up with was just from thinking about my own motivations. When I do something for someone else (or, perhaps, don’t do something) it’s never to meet the requirements of some rule. I never think, “I need to leave that MacBook Pro on my Dad’s desk because the Bible says ‘Don’t Steal’.” Instead, I leave the MBPro there (against my impulses…) 🙂 because I love my Dad. It belongs to him, and it would hurt our relationship for me to take it.

Now, perhaps you think using my Dad was a bad example. Or something as valuable as a MacBook Pro. Let’s take a different example. I’m at the bank, and I use their pen to sign my check and fill out the deposit slip. “The pen seems kinda cool… I need one… they won’t miss it…” but then your conscience gets the better of you and you think, “No… God says, ‘Don’t Steal’, and that means pens too!” And you leave the pen, thanks to your obedience to the rule.

But what if relationship – even to someone you don’t really know – motivated you instead? Instead of thinking “Thou shalt not steal,” maybe think, “That pen belongs to someone else, and I wouldn’t like it if they took mine, so I’m not going to take it.” Or, if stealing is not your gig… think about anything else we have rules for. Step out of the context of obedience to the RULE and think about how you can love – or not be loving – your neighbor by your actions.

It creates a freedom far beyond what any “righteous” obedience to a set of morals could offer. We are free to love because we are loved. When we love, and act out of love, we are living “under the rules” but not by the rules. Does that make sense? Everything I do, I want to have the people around me in the front of my mind. How will what I do – or don’t do – affect those around me? I am not considering rules… I am considering relationship.

There is the freedom of living not under rules, but out of love. The former is accomplished by the latter, but the motivation is different. If motivated by rules, we will always fail. We will not live up to the standards, or maybe even need to “break a rule” in order to love someone. But if we live out of love, the heart of the rule is fulfilled.

Matthew 22:35-40 (New Living Translation)
One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

by Greg

God & Money

Here’s what we read this morning… can anyone make sense of this for me? Jesus seems to be saying, use money like the world does, so you’ll have a reward in eternity… but, you can’t serve God & money… still trying to figure out what he meant here…

Luke 16:1-13
Jesus said to his disciples:

A rich man once had a manager to take care of his business. But he was told that his manager was wasting money. So the rich man called him in and said, “What is this I hear about you? Tell me what you have done! You are no longer going to work for me.”

The manager said to himself, “What shall I do now that my master is going to fire me? I can’t dig ditches, and I’m ashamed to beg. I know what I’ll do, so that people will welcome me into their homes after I’ve lost my job.”

Then one by one he called in the people who were in debt to his master. He asked the first one, “How much do you owe my master?”

“A hundred barrels of olive oil,” the man answered.

So the manager said, “Take your bill and sit down and quickly write `fifty’.”

The manager asked someone else who was in debt to his master, “How much do you owe?”

“A thousand bushels [a] of wheat,” the man replied. The manager said, “Take your bill and write ‘eight hundred’.”

The master praised his dishonest manager for looking out for himself so well. That’s how it is! The people of this world look out for themselves better than the people who belong to the light.

My disciples, I tell you to use wicked wealth to make friends for yourselves. Then when it is gone, you will be welcomed into an eternal home. Anyone who can be trusted in little matters can also be trusted in important matters. But anyone who is dishonest in little matters will be dishonest in important matters. If you cannot be trusted with this wicked wealth, who will trust you with true wealth? And if you cannot be trusted with what belongs to someone else, who will give you something that will be your own? You cannot be the slave of two masters. You will like one more than the other or be more loyal to one than to the other. You cannot serve God and money.