Category / Life With God

by Greg

The Path I Have Trod

Going way back to my college years – when I first started to grasp the reality of life with a living and interactive God who loves me more than I can possibly imagine – I have seen God lead me. Almost step by step.

When I was a student at the University of Buffalo, studying English towards the goal of being a journalist as my profession, God began to gently suggest to me that I should somehow make a “career” (my word, not his) out of helping people understand him the way I had come to. He had finally reached me as the living Being that he is, not just the main Protagonist of the stories I heard at Sunday school. Not only was he alive, and reaching out to me, he loved me and accepted me completely, and wanted me to do life together with him. This was fantastic, and he was right, it’s what I wanted to spend my life doing: helping people know him like I had come to know him.

So, following his lead, I transferred to Cincinnati Bible College to pursue some “career” in “ministry”. I have said before, I had no intention of being a preacher, or pastoring a church, or anything like that. I just wanted to make spend my days helping people know Jesus. It was up to God to show me what that would be.

For two years I studied under people who had spent many more years that me studying Scripture. I still very much appreciate those days and weeks and months spent learning from those guys. I may not feel exactly the same way about every detail in Scripture, but I respect them and am glad to have learned from them.

Right about the time we were to graduate, it seemed God had directed me to work with college students, and I had an opportunity to do so at Miami University in Oxford, OH. I was all set to go there when – I believed then and do believe now – he opened another door, and suggested I go through it.

A tiny church in Victor, NY was looking to hire a youth and worship minister, and their main candidate was my college roommate! Add to that the fact that the preacher there was the brother of Jen, who was even then one of my bestest friends. There were many appealing things, and it seemed God was saying, “Go there.” So, I did.

And there were many fruitful years of meeting people, and I think, helping them know Jesus as I had come to know him (and was still growing in knowing him.) I (and later Jen too) worked with a couple fledgling groups at a couple different local colleges. We worked with college and young adult folks who were part of the church who had brought me in to work with them. All good, years well spent. Certainly there were difficulties, but only the fond memories remain.

Looking back now, that seems to have been a season of life working through the “local church”. (I don’t like to use that term, but you know what I mean when I say it.) I was chatting with a friend the other day and realized that God has been “suggesting” new avenues for me to help people know him in roughly five-year intervals. This one was from roughly 1996-2001. In 2001, we began (in earnest) a new journey.

And boy was it a journey! 🙂

2001 was the year that I resigned as the worship minister of that tiny church (which had grown quite a bit in those 5 years!) and began focusing full-time on our music, basic music ministries. God had actually led us back into that around 1999, and we were slowly moving toward it from 1999-2001, but it took several extenuating circumstances in that year to move us fully into the place I really believe he wanted us to be.

Looking back now I can see that God was completely leading that, arranging the places we would sing and share and help people to know him as we were coming to know him. It was really cool to see him lead and provide along the way, and more confirmation that he was the One behind all of it is that now, since we have transitioned to the next five-year phase… the music has almost completely dropped off the radar!

How did that happen? I really did not change that much in what I was doing. The requests to come share our music basically just stopped coming in! Before, they came all the time. But in 2004, God prepared both Jen and me separately for a coming change. We weren’t sure what it would be, but were confident he was “suggesting” again.

We realized in the middle of a tour that it was time to lay that down and see what else God had for us. My only inkling was that I could probably do web design for people. Up to that point I only did my own and two or three others, very much on the side.

But again, God confirmed immediately that we had made the right decision. Almost the instant we agreed with him that we should not schedule future tours, and “lay down” a “ministry” that seemed to be still in its prime… the requests came pouring in. For web design!

Too funny. So amazing to see God provide and lead like this. The year 2005 was spent phasing out of the music “career” (for now, at least) and phasing in the web and graphic design “career”. The other very obvious “phase” that we are in now is the family phase! We have five young kids now, three of whom have been born since Feb 2004. That is certainly another emphasis of this current “five-year phase”. 🙂

So 1996-2001 was local church related. 2001-2006 was our musical phase (roughly, as 2005 was still fairly populated with musical things). And now since 2006 I have been doing web and graphic design for people, and it has been the same as the music – completely at God’s provision. He is the one who has brought every single client to me. Every one. I have not advertised, nor sought out new clients. Haven’t had to! God has again led the way!

But there’s the issue I face today, and have faced recently. Maybe even most of this “phase”. I don’t think I am made to do what I am doing, nor do I really enjoy it – at least, not as much as I had the other things.

Am I just ungrateful? Am I missing God’s blessing? Certainly not that. As I have said, I am completely aware that God is providing this current “career” as a way to provide for our family. And certainly I am grateful for that. I am confused at how it still seems to not quite completely “provide” but I see him providing, and so I am confident that he will figure out the details.

This is the first phase that I am wishing would end sooner though.

Perhaps that is just a temporary glitch with me. Perhaps I am overwhelmed by other things in life? It is a lot to take care of five children! 🙂 Money is always an issue, as I know it is for most folks who will stumble across this blog entry. But really… I am frustrated. Frustrated by the provision I am seeing, and just not really wanting this particular provision.

Maybe it’s like my kids at the dinner table. I most always make meals considering their fairly limited pallets, but frequently they will still complain that the food is “not their favorite”. My typical response is to let them know that the current meal is all the food we have for tonight, and that they need to just eat it. Even though I know they don’t really like it that much, I know it is good, and their little bodies need it.

Perhaps it’s time to eat my vegetables?

I do certainly enjoy many parts of this current “tour of duty”. Really. I obviously love computers, and the internet, and have considerable knowledge and experience that I can offer to people. I also think I have a pretty good eye for design. There are certainly many ways that this current “career” that God has provided fits me well. I’m not sure why it’s not as fun. Could just be these are the vegetables I don’t like so much. According to the path I’ve trod so far, it would seem I have till 2010 or 2011 to figure it out. 🙂

If you’ve read this far you are a true friend, a good/fast reader, or just had some extra time to kill. I appreciate it. One way I process things is to write them out. God definitely – most definitely – made me a writer. A word smith. I look forward to that five-year phase. 🙂 (Certainly, that theme has woven through all of my years so far. But perhaps there will be a season where that is the primary focus?)

The best part of the story, and what keeps me going on? Very clearly seeing that God is leading all of this. This is where he wants me, and I know and love and trust him… and so I know it’s where I also want to be.

Just have to get my heart to match my head on that one.

by Greg

Subtle Difference

Today the boys and I read the very familiar paragraph in Matthew where Jesus says with the Ask, Seek & Knock stuff. God wants us to come to him and he wants us to know that he’s listening. And that’s amazing.

But the part I noticed is something that I have also been thinking a bit about recently.

At the end of the paragraph, Jesus says, “Treat others as you want them to treat you. This is what the Law and the Prophets are all about.” (Matthew 7:12)

I have said that many times to my kids, and that is really how I want to live my life. Thinking about other people like I’d want them to think about me. Treating them as I would want to be treated. I actually forgot that Jesus said “That’s what the Law & Prophets are all about” regarding this phrase. The other phrase I frequently use is “Love God, Love people.” which is taken from another time Jesus said that, “Everything God has said up until now is summed up by that.”

When he says that, it seems to me that we should listen.

But then, I have been challenged recently that thinking that way, and trying to live that way is still a bit religious. Though the motivation may not be from guilt, or a desire to earn God’s favor, it is still about what I do. How I must change. How I must be. And certainly, on one level, that is good and right. When we do what is right – the way life is supposed to be lived – then life is good, and things work out the best way they can. Mostly.

Could a possible (subtle) alternative could be to focus on our relationship with God, rather than what we do after that? Could it be an even more healthy view of the Kingdom if we could say, “I am loved, and so are you.” Do you see the subtle difference? I’m honestly not that sure I do, but a part of me does. The difference seems to be in the focus. One focus is still on what I can do, the other is focused on what God has done and is doing. He has restored our relationship, and he leads me every day, and he puts other people around me that I can love as I have been loved. Doesn’t he?

It could just be semantics, and I know that I am prone to thinking too much on things at times. But the funny thing is, the more I “think on” this, the simpler it gets. Perhaps that is the true way of the kingdom.

Live loved today. I think when we do, then we are best able to really love back, and love out.

by Greg

Relationality

This morning the boys and I continued our trek through the book of Matthew, with a tiny chunk from chapter five. I was just going to reference it, but I thought perhaps you might like to read the whole bit together for the context of what we saw in it today.

Matthew 5:21-25 (CEV)
You know that our ancestors were told, “Do not murder” and “A murderer must be brought to trial.” But I promise you that if you are angry with someone, you will have to stand trial. If you call someone a fool, you will be taken to court. And if you say that someone is worthless, you will be in danger of the fires of hell.

So if you are about to place your gift on the altar and remember that someone is angry with you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to God.

Before you are dragged into court, make friends with the person who has accused you of doing wrong. If you don’t, you will be handed over to the judge and then to the officer who will put you in jail.

Did you see it? What stood out to you about those three situations? I asked my boys, “What was the most important thing in all of those stories?”

At first they said excitedly, “Don’t be mad!” I said, “That’s part of it…” hoping they would continue. They did. And actually, not too many thoughts later, they hit on what I was probing for.

“Relationship,” said Ian. (At that point I knew that he has been listening to me before this morning.) 🙂 “That’s right! In each of these stories, the relationship was the most important!”

You and I have read that story, perhaps mainly that verse, many times over. Anger is the same as murder. Don’t call your brother a “fool”… or else! Don’t bring any offerings before you fix your argument with your brother. But in the bigger picture–the context–I saw that a common theme ran through all of the stories.

But before I get to that, did you notice who bears the relational “responsibility” in the second story? In the first story, Jesus says, “Don’t get mad at people.” While being so hard to obey it’s almost absurd, it’s certainly understandable. We all know it’s wrong, or at least no the best to treat someone badly in our anger. But who is the relational instigator in the second story? The one who is angry? No! The one with whom someone is angry!

This was a key piece for me. The first one makes sense because we’re good at trying to clean up our own act. That makes sense. It at least seems doable, whether it actually is, or not. But the second set of circumstances requires that the one who has not necessarily done any wrong be the one to correct the situation.

So if you are about to place your gift on the altar and remember that someone is angry with you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to God.

Doesn’t that sound like we’re putting people before God? And perhaps petty, selfish people as well? (It doesn’t say “admit that you were wrong” or anything like that. It just says go and make peace.) The paramount concern is not the “more spiritual” offering to God, but rather peace between brothers.

I told the boys that this is true for me as well. I love it when I see my kids getting along, having fun together. I love it even more when I see them making peace with each other (especially without my intervention). It brings me great joy to see peace, harmony, and genuine loving friendship between my children. And I’m sure (from this story Jesus told, and others) that the same is true of our Father.

When I noticed this relational priority, I sort of stepped back and looked at all three stories together. Sure enough, the thread through all three was that relationships are paramount. The first story says don’t cloud relationships with angry words. Get over yourself. The second story, as I’ve mentioned, focuses on the “responsibility” of the “innocent” person to initiate and maintain a peaceful relationship.

The third story is perhaps a more practical application of how relational we are, and may have been played out a bit later in the day. (No, I was not taken to court…)

In the third scene, we have Jesus saying that if we were to find ourselves in court, the best course of action is to make friends with our accuser. On the surface, that makes no sense! Especially if we are innocent, but even if we are not. They’re our accuser!!! These are not people we want to reach out to. But the practical side of this is, yes, we do. Jesus implies that if you do, you may avoid the consequences, they may not press charges.

A little relationality goes a long way…

Today I received an order from Amazon.com. They have Big Train Chai at the cheapest price around. When I run out, I usually order two packs of three bags of chai. (They only ship them in sets of three.) I get two because that qualifies it for free shipping as well. 🙂

When I very excitedly brought in my package from the super cold porch, I noticed that some powdered chai was pouring out the corners of the box! “Oh no!” I thought perhaps a bag had inadvertently been cut open somehow. I was hopeful that most of them were still intact.

I gingerly cut into the tape at the top of the box, opening it very slowly, checking for any evidence of the cut bag. I brushed off the powder from all of the bags (it had gotten all over everything, even though it was only at most a couple tablespoons of chai) and finally found the culprit. One bag had a very small opening, right near the crease in the bottom. No big deal, but I figured I’d call Amazon and see if they could replace that bag for me.

I got on the phone with a lady who did not speak much English, but seemed very willing to help. I explained my situation calmly, and just asked, “Is there any way you could ship me out one replacement bag? Do you need me to package up and return the defective one?” After a few quick questions – and my friendly answers – she said, “Wait a few moments, and I will process a replacement for you.”

I sat on hold for just a few moments, as she had requested, and sure enough, when she came back on the phone she gave me an order ID for the replacement chai! I was thrilled to be getting a little bit of bonus chai. (I really do love this stuff!)

Not long after hanging up the phone, I decided to check the order number at Amazon and see when it would be coming and exactly what they were shipping. What to my wondering eyes should appear, but THREE BAGS OF CHAI in my “recently placed orders”! Whoo-hooo!

Now, I don’t know that this lady did anything out of the ordinary. It could be standard policy to just ship the full “package” that was defective. (They do ship as individual bags, so certainly they could have shipped just one.) And I do not know for sure her motivations. But I’d like to think this is a living example of what I saw Jesus saying today.

Relationship is paramount. I was not being taken to court, but I was approaching a situation that did not merit an overly generous response. You can say it is good business to make sure the customer is satisfied, but if I had laid into the first person who answered, demanding a replacement (and/or more?) do you think that the customer service rep’s first thought would be to (happily) replace my item? Probably not. Probably there would be some resistance. I have tried the other way – justifiable anger – and I am here to say… it just don’t work.

We are made for relationality. If we live it, if we practice it, life goes better.

1 Thessalonians 5:13b (NIV)
Live in peace with each other.

There may be things that seem more important. (Including looking out for ourselves, or doing stuff for God.) But it would seem from these three stories Jesus told to his disciples that the thing that should top the list is to live in healthy, unbroken relationship with each other. And, be the initiator of that. Not just the recipient.

Relationality starts with me.

by Greg

Pondering

There are a few things that I am currently pondering regarding life with God and his church. I thought I’d just jot them down here, in a sort of short hand way. Perhaps you are pondering them as well and might add to my ponderings, but really I am putting them down here to look back later and see what I was pondering in 2008. 🙂

  • Worship:
    Do we need to publicly and corporately set God apart from all else, with or without musical aid?
  • Evangelism:
    Should I have more of an urgent desire to help people know they are loved by their Father?
  • Praying:
    With other people, I mean. How do I make an ongoing conversation with God easily flow into conversation with other believers – and my family.
  • Communion:
    It’s important to some people. Really important. But to me, just meaningless. Does it matter? How?

The things I am beginning to understand more: (and usually write about here)

  • Freedom:
    For me, and giving freedom to others.
  • Grace:
    For me, and treating other people with grace.
  • God’s love:
    Again, for me, and learning to give that to others.
  • Reality of God’s presence:
    Learning to live with Jesus every day.
  • Who Jesus is:
    The Word of God, my brother, God in flesh, “watching” him interact with people in the stories of the gospels

When I look at those lists, the first one mostly just seems silly, but to many people – including me for much of my life perhaps? – they are not silly but almost essential. Funny how perspective changes. Who knows the lists might change again after a while. They might be completely different. We’ll see.

by Greg

Freedom

A couple times this weekend, the concept of freedom came up in conversation. It was in relation to the church, and life together as followers of Jesus. And really, it starts with life as an individual follower of Jesus.

When speaking with some friends who are equally saddened by the focus of the American church on numbers and programs and an institutional view of discipleship – and yet, who strangely feel the need to still be part of that social structure – we talked about freedom. One friend brought up the scripture where Jesus says he came to “set us free“. He said that it really helped him break out of the “need” – the obligation – to be at a worship service on Sunday mornings. He realized that he was not free. And God helped him realize that through that Scripture.

I think that’s true for a lot of people. And much beyond their attendance at weekly (or more frequent) worship gatherings. It does not mean that you are not free if you “go to church” on Sundays. It could, but it doesn’t inherently mean that. Where we lack freedom is in really understanding that God does not want us to live life out of obligations to him, but in relationship to him.

I was reading a little book to my boys that paraphrases scripture verses, and one we read last week was taken from the verse in Micah that says, “…and this is what he requires: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” The last part caught my attention this time. What God “requires” is that we walk (humbly) with him. He wants us to just follow him. To be with him. Every day.

God doesn’t want us to always do what’s right just because it’s right. He wants us to learn to be like him. To live in the freedom of not having to perform for him, to earn his love, or his favor – or to avoid the fires of Hell. What he wants is for us to love as we have been loved. (Love God, and love your neighbor.)

All of the above “requirements” were also written/said during a time when Jesus had not completed the restoration of our relationship with Father God! That’s so great! While people were toiling under this idea that sacrifices and following rules would somehow “gain favor” with God, God was telling them, no… just be fair, just, merciful, and follow humbly in his steps. Pretty cool.

Yet today, even though Jesus has once and for all abolished the code of law that restricted and even enslaved us, we still live as slaves to sin and the law. We do not experience the freedom of his grace, and his full and complete love. We don’t live as children but as slaves (as that linked passage above refers to). That permeates every bit of how we relate to our Father, and I’m learning more and more that it’s not how he wants it to be.

He wants us to walk with him. He calls us friends. He has adopted us as his children, full heirs of everything he has. And he is not a Father who demands strict obedience at the end of a punishing hand, but the Father of the prodigal son who allows us to choose to follow him, to humbly receive his love and live in his freedom.

I’m not sure how we can really break out of the cycle of feeling the need to please him, or even the obligation to “get it right”, but oh how I long for that in me, and in you. Shame is a powerful thing over us, and causes us to submit to God out of obligation and out of a perceived relational “debt”. But there is no condemnation for those who are in Jesus. The Bible tells me so.

It also tells me this:

If the son has set you free, you are free indeed.

by Greg

This Day in (GregHead.net) History

An idea popped into my head today. (Yes, that would be GregsHead…) I thought, I wonder what things I have blogged about on this day in my four-plus years of blogging? So, I set out to discover what was in the archives for January 25th.

To my suprise, excluding entries from this January 25th (today) there was only one other entry. And it was about my Jen. 🙂

I did also discover that there were a few cool things from January 24th here at GregsHead.net. At the top of the list would have to be 1/24/04… that’s the birthday of the new blog with the oft-mentioned URL — GregsHead.net! January 24th is not the beginning of my blogging, but the birthday of GregsHead.net. Neat.

Besides that I found a couple interesting posts worth re-reading from that same year. Well, at least one is. One is just interesting in light of the Super Bowl match up coming up in a week and a couple days. (I wasn’t happy about it then, either…)

The one I’d love for you to re-read though is the one titled, “I Call You Friends.” Very neat reminder of our relationship with God.

So, take a trip with me… back in time…

I Call You Friends
A Winning Attitude?

by Greg

More Thoughts on The Church

In response to my post “Don’t Go To Church?” I received one comment from a good friend via e-mail. He is a great guy, with a great Jesus-like heart for people, and a humble heart like not many I have seen. I am glad to call him my friend. We have very different backgrounds in our respective relationships with God, but the common bond is greater than the differences. I guess I think that’s the greatness of the church. The church is not defined by a set of agreed upon customs and traditions. It’s a group of people from “every tongue and tribe and nation” who are commonly united by the Creator who became one of us so we could become children – and friends – of God. (John 1, Romans 5.)

I responded to his email and thought it might be interesting reading for you as well… it’s rather lengthy, but as a friend of ours says, I thought you might like to read over my shoulder…

(My friend’s email is in the quoted sections. I did replace some specific details with more general stuff.)

I’m not surprised at all about your reasons for not going to church. I understand them based on what I’ve read, but I’ll offer some other things to think about since you asked for comments.

You used the word “show” a few times in your answer. It’s an interesting choice of words because in 30 years of going to Mass I have never once thought of it as a show. I asked my wife and she said the same. It could just be our perspective so I’ll have to check with other family and friends.

Yet, I know I’ve always had the “show” feeling in regard to any service I’ve witnessed at [the various churches/etc you’ve attended]. Obviously these are very different experiences than my norm and I’m not saying it wasn’t great and that I didn’t come away with something. (I have some of [those] sermons engrained in my memory). So I asked myself what the difference was.

Before you give your answer, let me say this… the “show” is actually even more of a show in some ways in more traditional services (Catholic, Episcopal, Orthodox, etc) because of all the formality and ceremony. BUT, the biggest difference (and perhaps the reason you have never considered it a “show”) is the audience. Having worked behind the scenes on many Christian “shows”, I know that at your typical “evangelical” (don’t let [them] know I called them “evangelical”….) 😉 church “show”, the aim is to include – as much as possible – the people who do not know Jesus. So, in effect – intentionally, yet unintentionally – the audience becomes the “seekers”, rather than God, as the “entertainers” presume that it is. Did that make sense? Everyone I know who leads a “show” says that the audience is God, and they mean it, but from knowing the preparation, and what is actually going on, I would say that the audience is indeed the people in the seats, specifically those who are not “believers” (which means varying things to varying churches, but generally there is a consensus among the “show” leaders).

Please continue…

What was missing for me was the holiness, the “sanctity”, of the event…let’s call it. It didn’t feel any different than any other discussion or hanging out I did with the members of [that church]. Yes, I felt close to God when singing or praying to Him during the service, but again, I felt the same when singing or praying to Him on my own at home or with friends. It sounds like this might have been your experience as well. That would certainly make it easier to walk away from the church.

Quick clarification… I(we) did not “walk away from the church”. We are still very much part of the church, and have regular “fellowship” with the church. We share life and we teach and are taught by the church. The problem is… the definitions of church can be different. To us the church is not an organization that stands on its own, it is the people who belong to Jesus. It’s the corporate one-ness – the family – of everyone who follow Jesus. It has local manifestations in groups of two, three, fifteen or fifty – or even 5000 (though that becomes less “local”) … but it does not exist without the people who are the church. In a sense, the organizations/institutions that we call “churches” (with their staff and buildings and services) could exist without any people “attending”. (Obviously not for long, as they are funded by the attendees, but… they could.) The church I am talking about does not have such defining boundaries. (Which is why, I think, Jesus said, “I will build my church and the gates of hell (hades) will not prevail against it.” Hard to defeat something so amorphous.)

Our celebration of Mass is so much more than entertainment-worship. It is a sacrifice, a communion with our Father, atonement for sins, and rededication of our beliefs. Think of that last one for a second. Would church be any more meaningful to you and your family if you, in unison, with the rest of the body of Christ (the church) professed those beliefs every time you went to church? Yes, I’m talking about rote memorization of prayers and professions of faith. They strengthen and edify the group as a whole. Everyone benefits. And it hasn’t hindered my ability to pray out loud “freestyle” or communicate with God one on one. It’s just another tool in my “toolbox” regarding my relationship with God.

I really don’t believe that personally this is something that I connect with, but actually I loved the insight into it that you provided. It does sound more meaningful as you describe it here. For some reason, I am not wired that way. Not just in my relationship with God… I don’t like any sort of ceremony or ritual. We wrote our own wedding vows… and I almost didn’t even want to have a wedding (and we did have a rather “strange” one…) For some reason to me that all feels fake. For me. Not for anyone else.

The group dynamic is an interesting one. I guess I have found that for me, a more strengthening group dynamic involves interaction with that group. I do beleive that Mass is more interactive in some ways than a “seeker” oriented service, but still, the “group” dynamic is not… interactive. Just everyone is doing/saying the same thing. (There is that “peace be with you, and also with you” thing…) 🙂

I agree there is something to be said for finding God anywhere. I’m so thankful that I feel Him walking/communicating with me outside of church as well.

“…Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 6:7

Still, there is value in going someplace specifically set aside for worshiping God. Here’s an example…

When Jesus saw moneychangers in the temple. He didn’t say “hey guys, its only a building, we can worship anywhere, lets go down the street to the community center.” No, He chased them out. Scripture says, “His disciples remembered that it was written, ‘Zeal for your house has consumed me.'” He had a passion for the Temple. He called it “my Father’s House”.

There’s a whole lot I could bring to that argument, but I think it’s safe to say that Jesus was not defending the place… but the people (that seemed to be his track record.) And, if indeed it was the place, when he died on the cross and the temple curtain that hid God from the people was torn in two – from the top to the bottom – that pretty symbolically ended the “place” to worship God. Jesus had said earlier in John 4 that “a day is coming when people with neither worship here nor jerusalem” and continued to talk about worshipping in spirit and truth. (Not quite sure what that cryptic language means, but context seems to point to the fact that Jesus was doing away with religion, and the separation between God and man.)

I know of course that Church is more than just a building, but wow, there are just so many distractions to our time, space, and energy these days, it’s refreshing to have a peaceful place to sit quietly among other Christians and reflect, pray, worship, and the like. If left to your own devices, is it possible to hack out enough quality time for yourselves and more importantly your children in regard to eaching/communicating/worshiping?…I know how our house is with two, never mind having four children. Yes, I understand the value of teaching and talking about Christ “on the fly” so to speak. Is that enough for them? What about some structured time? Do you put together a lesson for them every week like they would get if they were in Bible school? I’m a big proponent of balance in most aspects of life, and to me, only doing it one way doesn’t fit my “balance” quota.

While I do agree that there are many distractions, I think in life we have tried to eliminate those. We are not always running to the next thing. Sure there are days, but we have really tried to make our family, and friends, the priority in our life. So no, it doesn’t feel too hectic.

And no, I don’t prepare a lesson plan – maybe Jen does on occasion, for what we call “table time” as home schoolers – but do you really think a weekly lesson is helpful enough? (Not calling you out as much as that sounded…) What we are trying to live is a real life of following Jesus. That means almost everything we talk about includes God in the picture. That means when we see something that reminds us of a story we have read/heard … we tell our kids the story. “Hey kids, that’s like when God said….” I do read the Bible in the mornings with my boys generally, but that is such a small part of the bigger picture of the everyday, real relationship with God picture that they are getting from the rest of life.

So no, I do not believe that they are missing out in anyway. In fact, I’d say it’s more balanced, as it is infused throughout their entire day/week/life, rather than compartmentalized to a weekly time and place.

How do you reconcile the tithing/giving without belonging to a church? I know, the opportunities to help others DO present themselves to you outside the church, but what about those brothers and sisters at the church that need your help? What about your responsibility to take care of “my Father’s House.”

Again… I am of the opinion that God does not reside in a “house built by men” any more (not sure if he ever really did, but he did pretend to for a while…) 🙂 But as for the brothers and sisters that need help, I go back to what I said earlier. We in no way left or pulled out of the “church”. We do not attend weekend services, but we maintain relationships with people around us – and far away from us – who are members (with us) of the church. And actually, many of them attend various different (institutional) churches. Of all different stripes.

So, from all of those relationships, when there is a need and we can help, we do. 🙂 And, you are correct, the opportunities always do present themselves 🙂 (I like to think that is Jesus “building” his church…) 🙂

Finally, ask yourself if the idea of going to church as a show has an impact on why you left. What is it about the show that wasn’t working for you? I find it very interesting that [three of my friends] have left the church to “go it alone”. I’m not at all surprised based on some of the things I’ve read of your disillusionment and the church in the past, but it’s interesting that 3 members of [the same church] that I grew up with came to the same places in their lives. There has to be some coincidence in that. Please note, it doesn’t make me think any less of you as humans or Christians or friends. It’s just interesting.

It is interesting… but it’s not just one “church”. It’s everywhere. I do believe that we have met many people in many denominations, in many types of churches, who are wondering the same things. Who are discovering the same things. A relationship with the real and living God can not be contained in a worship service, or a building, or to certain times and places. And real community with the church (the people, not the institution) happens through sharing life and interacting more than it does attending a service where you sit in rows facing forward. (Isn’t the best time “at church” always before, in between, or after services?)

It does make me want to invite you all to Catholic church however!

That was my favorite line of the whole e-mail. 🙂

Honestly, we are not missing anything. In fact, relationship with God – and even with other believers – is better than ever. There are some awkward moments as the majority of believers still attend weekend worship services, and we do not – and different can be awkward… but on the whole, we are experiencing a more full, everyday reality of life lived with God than we ever have. I believe the same is true for our friends you mentioned, but you should ask them as of course, I can not speak for them.

[insert typical e-mail sign offs here…] 🙂

by Greg

Programmed Community

I came across a blog post that addressed some issues that have recently been in the forefront again for me. One paragraph that stood out to me said:

In the mega-church mindset, programs give opportunity for relationship to happen, but don’t assure that it can be found there. The relationships lives inside of programs. Once the program is over, the relationship is over. Once we no longer were involved in those programs there was no longer any reason to maintain the relationship.

We have also found this to be true personally, as well as anecdotally. I think this is one of the biggest shortcomings of the social organizations we call “churches”. They create a false idea of relationship. Relationship is not just being in the same room as other people, or even just having shared experiences. Those are sort of by-products of a relationship. But a real friendship goes farther than that, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, it doesn’t usually. 🙁

Click the link above to read the rest of the post. Good stuff. Feel free to comment there, or add your thoughts back here. The link will open in a different window. I want to say I wonder if you have experienced the same thing, but I guess I don’t have to wonder. I am certain that you have.

And that’s OK, but is it the best? Isn’t there a better way than programmed community? To me it seems that there is.

by Greg

Don’t Go To Church?

I know I said I was trying to get away from ending titles with question marks, but perhaps it says something about where I am in life at the moment. Maybe as I begin the trek toward middle age (or, am I already there?) I am beginning to realize I have more questions than answers. Perhaps in truth, there really are fewer answers than we sometimes think there are.

This past week a couple things made me consider again why it is that we (the Campbells) “don’t go to church.” I have to put it in quotes because I just think that our phrasing leads us into bad thinking on the nature of the Church and corporate gatherings under the banner of “the church.” In scripture, the church is the people who belong to Jesus. It’s not a time, place, service, building, etc. It’s a people. So, by default, you can’t “go” to “church”. But, for the sake of this post, I will use the phrase “go to church” to mean attend a Sunday morning “worship” service.

A friend asked “what’s the deal with that?” regarding our not going to church, and as I was contemplating a response, I considered once again why don’t we go to church? There’s no harm in it – even if I think it’s not right and pointless… it wouldn’t kill us, would it? Couldn’t we get something good out of it? You’d think. But as I remembered recent times of attending such gatherings, I felt myself squirm a bit even as I simply recalled the events, thoughts, and emotions of the day.

Then I asked myself, “Why? Why does it bother me so much?” The only response I could come up with was that I have grown beyond that. That seems so arrogant, even as I type it, but it also seems to completely fit my understanding of the relationship that I have with my Father.

Allow me to explain.

Both Jen and I have come to a place where we really don’t like compartmentalizing life. We want to be who we are all the time. That applies to how we “educate” our children… there is not a specific time of “education”, but rather an environment of learning as you live everyday life. We teach as we go. And we go as we teach. The kids learn as they do, and ask to learn more.

It seems to be much the same with our relationship with God. Previously, our “spiritual life” could be a bit more easily identified as any times we were doing “God things”, like going to church, or other “church-related” activities, or reading our Bible, praying, singing, etc. Over the past couple years, we have tried to understand our relationship with Jesus as a very much more everyday thing. Everything we do involves him. There is no place we go to meet with him, since he is always with us. There is no time (necessarily) that is his, as he is always with us. All of life is accompanied by a friend whose level of intimacy with us can not be matched by any other person.

It just feels very odd then when we go to a place to “meet with” God… to “worship” him… and even at that place, there are times within the bigger time that we more “intentionally” meet with him. Add to that the bowing, and the standing, and even the slightly different language and tone of voice at times… all makes for a very strange experience.

I have learned to live every moment with God – the good and the bad – and have learned that his love penetrates all of that, and goes with me and before me. And it’s not just me… he loves everyone he has ever made just as much. I believe that his love for us actually draws us together. He wants us all to do life together, and so, just like he “brought [Eve] to the man” in Genesis chapter two… he brings his people together still. We don’t have to force it to happen.

The formality of our worship services – especially the way we address God, with whom I feel I have a very close, everyday relationship – just makes me feel very strange. It could certainly just be me. And I really don’t mean to imply what it seems I implied above, that all who attend such things do not have quite as good a relationship with their Father as I do. Not at all. I am just saying that for me, that is one of the big reasons it’s hard to attend those weekly (or more) gatherings.

And, I think I am pretty consistent in that area in that I really don’t like formality of any kind. I much prefer to just be who I am, and that you be who you are. Ceremonies of almost any kind are definitely not my cup of tea. 🙂

I’m not sure that I am right about this, and would love any feedback. Please don’t be offended by what I have posted here. Your thoughts are welcome.

For now, though… that is (at least partly) why we “don’t go to church.”

by Greg

Hear The Angels Sing

We have heard a LOT of Christmas music lately. I’m sure you are feeling the same way. I do still love it, but it’s definitely getting close to time to shelve it for another eleven months or so.

It’s not all bad, though. One song off of Steven Curtis Chapman’s second Christmas album, All I Want For Christmas, caught my attention this week.

It wasn’t so much a lyric, as the way it was sung.

I believe the song was It Came Upon a Midnight Clear. It was sung with a nice gentle feel to it. And, at one point, Steven sings just lightly, “Hear the angels sing Hallelujah, Christ the Savior is born.” Those are words you usually associate with giant booming voices and big, majestic fanfare. But in this song, the words were sung almost at a whisper, almost as a lullaby for the newborn baby.

It got me thinking. Maybe that’s how it was? We think it should be fanfare and trumpets and “kingly”. But if you’ll recall, the King of the universe stepped into our lives as a baby, born to ordinary folk, in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. He was born in a stable. He was… born, period. He didn’t have to go through that, either.

But he did.

The simplicity of the first Christmas is a clue that God does not do things the way we think he should. And we’re (way) better off for it.

Enjoy your gifts today, giving and receiving. Enjoy time with family and friends. Enjoy the great food. Enjoy the Christmas cookies! But most of all, enjoy knowing that you are so completely loved by the One who has everything. He didn’t just become a man so he could die the death of a criminal… he wanted to live like us, so he could know us even better. All the way from birth. As a commoner.

That’s what you mean to him. That first Christmas day, and this one.

Merry Christmas. 🙂