Category / Life With God

by Greg

Asking Because We’re Loved

Remember a little while ago, I posted some thoughts regarding asking God for things, even though we might know or trust that he knows the best option or outcome anyway? I am still chewing on that, to be sure, because the more I get to know our Father, the more I trust his love for me and his way superior wisdom (not to mention much better vantage point).

This morning I was thinking more about what we ask God for and had a couple more thoughts to add. This past weekend, we were looking at Paul’s prayer and how he asked for stuff we don’t usually pray for. We like to pray for healing and other physical things (monetary needs, jobs, places to live, food to eat, etc.) Paul asked God to give the church inner strength, an understanding of just how amazingly loved by God they are, and by that to be filled with the fullness of life that comes from God. Notably, he didn’t ask for healing, provisions, or freedom from persecution. He asked that they would know Jesus more.

And, I may have mentioned this before, but it bears repeating, in Jesus “model prayer” (his reply to, “Master, teach us how to pray”) neither did he pray for healing – only for “daily bread”.

But what perhaps “clicked” today for me was that, even though Jesus didn’t necessarily ask God for it, and Paul did not, what we see Jesus doing is tons of healing. A majority of the stories we have from Jesus’ life on the planet involve some sort of healing. (And sometimes we see him asking his Father to bring that healing, but often he just healed.)

Why the discrepancy? Why wouldn’t Jesus model that in his “How To Pray” prayer? Why didn’t Paul ask for that for the Ephesians? I think maybe that there are “better” things than healing, at times, but in the end, God loves us… and he listens to us. He really does. When Jesus saw the people who were hurting and were asking for healing, maybe he knew of some way they could “grow” spiritually – that “inner strength” Paul asked for the Ephesians to receive – but when he was asked, he gave.

I know that as a dad – and certainly a flawed dad – I can be swayed by my kids’ askings. Even if perhaps there is a “better” option. Not always, of course. But sometimes. And I wonder if sometimes God forgoes the long range “best” to just say a short term, “I love you.” Could that be? Does that mean he is choosing an inferior option? Doesn’t that lessen him? Only if love is a lesser choice. I think he’d argue that it is not.

Much of this is just off-the-cuff ramblings from some thoughts I am still processing. It’s been a strange season lately. Lots of major illness and other things to ask God to heal, restore, renew. I am doing that. (And actually, so is he. Some very positive – if only short term? – happenings in response to our askings.) So, thanks for reading along, and I very much welcome your thoughts on “prayer” and the balance between asking him for what we long for, what we think is best, and trusting the love of our amazing Father, whom we know loves us, and knows “best.”

It’s an interesting journey, is it not?

by Greg

I’m Praying For You

Recently I have been asked to pray for people a lot. Or, just offered to. A lot of crazy things going on. Friends losing jobs, dealing with tumors and cancers, relationship turmoil, and even just people caught in a mess of their own poor choices.

I am certainly not immune. I have felt tired, spent, exhausted, and overwhelmed by much of life for the past 8 or 9 months. There are certainly bright spots, and, as the song goes, “All of the way, my Savior leads me,” but life is just not always sunshine and lollipops. (Like, for example, the $600 auto repair bill I just got…)

Through it all, however, I want to, and do ask God to “fix stuff” in life. But I have found that this is the hardest thing for me to do with Him. Not that I don’t think he listens, or answers, prayer… I know he does. I even wrote a song about it.

I also have no problem talking with God. I love him, and know he loves me. So we chat often about many things. Everything. Even if it’s not polished up all nice and shiny for him. Because I know he loves me.

That is the part that is not making sense for me. Every time I ask God for something – be it for me, or for someone else – I eventually (usually quickly) come to the point where I say something like, “But if you have a better idea, I want what you want.” Every time. Which always makes me think, “So why am I asking you?” It’s not that I am unwilling to ask… that’s why I do ask. What is it that won’t let me ask for something without a qualifier?

Best I can figure, it’s because I have come to know my Father, and completely trust him. I know first, that he loves me completely and his plans for me are to “prosper me, and not to harm me.” I totally get that. And I trust that. Completely. So whenever I ask for something, I always realize, “You know… I am only looking at this from my perspective… you probably know something much bigger-picture. If I am asking for something that is not the best, then I want what you want!”

Does this negate the need to pray for stuff in your life, and for other people? I don’t think so. There are examples of believers praying for the life circumstances of themselves and other believers. It’s not bad. And maybe it’s just good in that we are refocusing ourselves, remembering from whom we receive “every good and perfect gift.” I still wonder though if there is something in this that I am not quite understanding.

I’m sure there is. 🙂 And I’m certain that my Father will lead me into it, and beyond.

by Greg

Who You Know

I was thinking tonight about how things have happened in my life. I got to chat briefly with a long-time, good friend – Adam – whom I do not get to really share life with any more. He and his family live in another area of the country, and aside from the occasional conversation over electronic mediums, and the even more occasional (meaning, almost never) in-person conversations, our friendship is mostly something from our past.

We can always pick it up again, whenever we strike up those conversations. But with such distance geographically, and chronologically, our friendship is definitely different than it was “back in the day”. (When I would say he was probably my closest friend.)

What is so interesting though – perhaps only because I’m thinking these things after two in the morning? – is how when you look back on life, it’s so cool to see how all things do work together for good. God crosses paths at just the right times. Somehow, reminiscing about the good ol’ days with my friend Adam reminded me that his friendship with Jen (and the words he spoke when he introduced the two of us) eventually brought five super-awesome people into the world.

Not directly, of course. Not even intentionally. But it happened. Adam knew Jen, and thought she was awesome. He said, “Jen’s the kind of girl you could marry,” meaning the general you, but … truer words he never spake. 🙂 Now eighteen and a half years later… I can’t imagine my life without Jen, and God has given us five tiny people to love and to be Dad & Mom to. Crazy.

That’s the other thing. Thanks to my friendship with Adam, I met Jen. Many years later, we married, and God added to our family… and not just “some people” but specifically, Ian, Alex, Kirsten, Julia, and Emma. Those are the specific people that God created – from me and Jen – and he wanted us to be the ones who were Mom & Dad to them. Sometimes that blows me away. Other times it just makes me smile. How cool that God set it up that way. He is the giver of life, and he has given these specific lives to our care, and us to them. So cool.

So just remember tonight (or, likely, this morning or later) that you are who you are supposed to be. All your strengths, and all your weaknesses. You are also in the right place, and in the right relationships, and perhaps you are even the Mom or Dad you are supposed to be. That doesn’t mean complacency about destructive behavior or relationships. It does mean that when you start to doubt your worth, or your impact… it’s time to remember that YOU are the perfect you.

Who knows what will be credited to you eighteen and a half years from now?

by Greg

Content

The past three weeks – maybe four – have been mostly a blur. I’ve been sleeping even less than normal, and been working much more than normal … and yet, there is a strange contentment like I have not recently known.

For quite sometime, financial pressures have been slowly bearing down on us, threatening to completely crush us. Well, at one point early this month, it seemed they would. We were at the end, literally, of every financial rope. We really didn’t know what to do.

So, I decided to try this online package that was only $499.95 that promised I could be making $600,000.00/week in just three short steps! The first week, my check was only $4537.84, but the second week, it tripled to $12,450.32! Now I’m getting checks for over $50,000/week!!! It worked for me, and I can share all my secrets with you in my online resource, “Everything I know about making money online, and why it will work for you!” – at a discounted rate for all GregsHead.net readers – only $399.95!!! So act now!

No. I didn’t do that. But I was tempted to… 🙂

See, what really happened was I just let go. I already knew that stuff is just stuff, and if we even lost all of it, we’d still be OK. Life would go on. It would be different, but it would go on. I had been holding on so tight that when the money didn’t come in, and “God didn’t provide” I would just borrow more money (usually with credit cards) to pay for what we obviously “needed.”

What I have come to learn (really, again) is that God gives us what we need. And if we don’t have what we “need”, then we don’t need it. (Note: I want to say “probably don’t need it” there, but I am really learning that I don’t need the probably!) The key to the whole things is contentment. Content with what we have, and trusting that God will provide our “daily bread.”

And he has.

Seriously, since we decided to just live on what we have – and have not used any credit cards in any way since then, probably four weeks – we have had everything we needed. I have been working many more hours (because I have always had the work, but never had the time to do it… hoping this extra work time is just to dig out of the hole we are currently in!) and so that has helped, but beyond that, there has been the generosity of some friends, as well as funny little moments along the way.

Like this one:

Last Monday, after paying some bills, buying some food… we literally had just a few dollars left. Jen’s parents had just gotten home from a three-week vacation tour, and were coming to see the grandkids and give us a chance to go out for our summer anniversary (the day we decided to get married, July 16). I really, really wanted to take Jen to Red Robin as she has been wanting to do that for a very long time, but the cost was definitely prohibitive! So, with no money, we just weren’t going to be able to do it. Unless… God wanted to give that to us. So, Jen asked him.

Not too long after Jen asked our Dad for enough money to go to Red Robin that night, I got an IM from a friend who I do some web work for… he needed a hosting account, ASAP. 🙂 So, I told him what it would cost, sent him the invoice, and he paid right away (and he paid a ridiculous bonus amount as well!) I told Jen, and she told me excitedly, “I asked God to do that!!“

How awesome is that? 🙂

So, the point is not “don’t use credit cards, just ask God for money for fancy date-night cuisine.” The point is that we have found such contentment living on what we have. We are still in a pretty big financial hole, but God keeps providing, and giving us ideas I think, and we are listening and happily enjoying what God gives us – rather than going ahead of him, as I think we were before, to things he had not yet given us. Even things like food, gas, etc. Now if we don’t have the cash, we don’t get it.

And we have not been wanting. (Which is partially due to God’s provision, and partially due to our contentment. Both working together.)

He really does love us, and take care of us. We know that, and we are getting to see it even closer and more clearly every day now. Honestly, though I don’t like the financial pressure of where we are, and can’t wait to pay off this debt, I hope that we will always be able to see so clearly how God provides – daily – for exactly what we need.

It’s a fantastic place to be!

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”
Matt 6:34 (MSG)

by Greg

Book Review: Dangerous Wonder

I finished the book Dangerous Wonder earlier this week, and just wanted to say a few words about it, and again, highly recommend the read. It’s actually a very short book, and full of very cool stories of people living life recklessly, irresponsibly, and altogether fantastically.

You might not think reckless and irresponsible would lead to “fantastic” but in this case, they do.

Mike Yaconelli presents a case for living life like a child. The last chapter kind of surmised the whole thing: be like a little kid. Jesus told us that we wouldn’t see the kingdom unless we did, and it’s so true. When we lose our kid-ness (and become “grown ups”) we forget what it’s like to trust, to play, to enjoy the moment, to be excited about the ordinary, and to be able to ask for help. All of those things are essential parts of life in the kingdom of God. And all are far too easy forgotten.

There were a few great, real-life stories of unabashed, unashamed grace and love shown to people – who did not deserve it. Usually from a child to an adult. You really need to read the book, but let me give you a couple examples.

He told of a type-A dad who had a very set routine every day when he came home from work. It was so set that his three-year-old son knew it by heart as well. One day, when he came home, the son came up to him and told him he had something for him. So he went over to the counter where the cookies were, climbed up (almost knocking down all the glasses) got a cookie… spilled the rest of them, but put them back… even poured a glass of milk for his dad – spilling a bunch on the floor in the process.

The best part of the story — the dad just smiled, and accepted the gift of love from his son! It would have been easy to criticize all the mistakes, and the mess… but in a moment of greatness, he just let his son love him. What a great story!

The other story was near the end of the book, and featured the author himself. He and his wife had taken in a teenage boy for a time who had an abusive, drunken father. He eventually went on his way, but as “luck” would have it, a couple years later, the author and his wife needed to have some flooring installed, and the only contractor available to do it was the “drunken father!” They protested, but the supply company insisted, it was him or a very long wait. They chose the drunken father, but kept a very careful eye on him, assuming he would somehow try to cheat them.

As the work progressed to the final stages, Yaconelli came in to inspect and said that he’d be in his office, so the contractor could come get his payment there. Drunken father replied, “Oh yes, I need to talk with you about the bill.” Yaconelli was infuriated and was certain that the man would try to weasel more money out of them – but he would hold firm!

When the man came in, finished with his work, he sat down and began writing out the bill. Yaconelli said he was quite ready to take on anything this guy had to dish out. But when the contractor finished writing, he looked up and said, “A couple years ago, I was a drunk, and I abused my family. You guys took in my son at a crucial time in his life, and saved my family. I’ve been sober ever since, and it has a lot to do with what you did for our family.” Then he handed them the bill marked “Paid In Full”.

That is just a perfect picture of grace. The unloveable was the one doing the loving. So cool.

Lots of great moments like that, and a reminder to live life to the fullest – like Jesus said he came to bring us – and definitely worth the read! Click the book cover above to buy a copy, or just check it out at your local library.

Next, in the queue… CS Lewis’ Screwtape Letters, as well as In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day.

by Greg

Christianity

Christianity is not about learning to live within the lines; Christianity is about the joy of coloring.

That is a quote from the chapter I read this morning from Dangerous Wonder. Jen & I were talking about this last night, how too often Christians are so concerned with what happens after we die, that we miss out on living life here and now.

Jesus was telling people about the kingdom of God once, and he said, “God’s kingdom is right here with you” (Luke 17:21 – link is to Amplified Version) As I read that line recently with our boys I envisioned Jesus pointing to his chest, meaning that the kingdom of God is more of a perspective … a way of thinking, living, interacting with God, the world around you, and others. It’s a heart issue.

I just liked the quote and wanted to share. May your day be full of joyful coloring!

by Greg

Currently Reading

You may have noticed that I added a “Currently Reading” section to the sidebar on the right. I thought it would be fun for you to sort of peek over my shoulder and see what’s going into my head these days. (Since this is “Greg’s Head dot net…)

I think maybe the book, Dangerous Wonder by Mike Yaconelli, affected my previous post, and has been reminding me again of the things that are important in my life. Namely, my family, and remembering to just live life with passion and fully enjoy it. To be like a little kid – fully loved by his Dad.

It’s a very good book. I have read it before and wanted to be reminded of these things again. Glad that I picked it up. Been reading a chapter each morning. Gonna try and keep up (at least) that pace for a while. Been missing reading.

I’ll likely have more to say when I finish the book in a couple days. For now, if you’d like to get your own copy, the little widget takes you right to Amazon where you can get one for yourself. I do recommend.

by Greg

Faith Without Doubt

If you ask God for something specific (and do not doubt), that is faith.

If you do not receive what you asked for, but you remain unwavering in your trust of your Father, presuming that He knows better than you, and by not receiving what you asked for, you are actually better off … is that the epitome of faith? Or is it just back-door doubt?

I’m really trying to figure that out.

by Greg

The Chapmans

I learned today that earlier this week, singer/songwriter Steven Curtis Chapman‘s 5-year-old adopted daughter was killed in an accident in the family’s driveway.

Somehow, God has made us similar. I am a fan of his music – and something inexplicably deeper than that. There are similarities in my songwriting to his. Also a “big fan” of their family, and the way they are not only adopting, but helping lots of families do the same. We have not adopted – yet – but apparently share a similar love for big families.

And as a dad of little girls… how sad this family must be right now. How sad. We know that we only grieve temporarily when we know Jesus (to know him is eternal life…) but still… how they must hurt.

They set up a page with a little family video they made just a few weeks before she was killed. As well as a place to leave comments. Here’s the link:

http://chapmanchannel.typepad.com/inmemoryofmaria/

by Greg

Update from Greg’s Head

I must say this poor blog has been quite neglected for the past couple weeks. It seems that my writing certainly goes in cycles. Sometimes I have lots to say and just can’t help myself, so this blog is full of things to read. Sometimes I am so full of things to do that even though I do have things to say, I am not able to sit down and write them out. Other times, it’s simply time for intake rather than output. I’d say we’re definitely in a cycle involving a little of both of the last two.

So, instead of writing lots of detailed blogs (which I could certainly do, but must tend to other things) I will try and cover a lot of the stuff I’d like to chronicle here in bullet-point fashion.

  • Work
    I have been very busy with web and graphic design, so much so that I am considering expanding. It feels as though the work load has grown too much for one person to handle. (At least, and still have family/free time.) I’m not certain how to work that out just yet, but the influx of clients continues, as well as a regular stream of work orders from satisfied current customers. A week or so ago I felt as though I was cresting the seemingly insurmountable hill of open projects, but then the hill just got a bit taller. So, I press on… Have made a few cool additions to my site (linked above) in the middle of the various projects I have been working on. I seriously need to update my “samples” page though as several of those clients have closed up shop and are no longer on the internet! 🙂
  • Music
    Oh, I finally did take our “Christmas decorations” down at our basicmm.com website, too. 🙂 I forget what motivated me to do it, since it was already late April or May when I did, but … anyway, it’s done. Also on the music front, our trip to Virginia in June may be in jeopardy because our family is too large to house! 🙂 We’ll see what happens there…
  • Fun
    Jen & I both have been enjoying Facebook and the many fun things therein. They added a live chat feature recently which has been extra cool. Realtime re-connecting with people you haven’t spoken with in many years, or perhaps barely even know. Fun! (At least, for me that’s fun!) Also, definitely loving playing the various word games there. I do love word games…
  • Brennan Manning
    Jen cleaned out the attic recently and found a bunch of old cassette tapes. In one of the boxes was a set of teaching tapes we had purchased. It was “Healing Our Image of God… and Ourselves” by Brennan Manning. Manning’s background as a catholic priest (and a monk, I believe) gives him an interesting perspective on the Gospel. But the heart of what he says is so great. It’s the simple truth of the incredible love that our Father – Abba – has for us. We heard Brennan at a retreat over 10 years ago, and got his tapes there. He’s been saying the same thing for decades – and I believe God has been re-emphasizing this basic point to me and Jen in recent years again – because it’s the core of the Gospel/Good News. God loves us more than we can ask or imagine, and invites us to live life side by side with him, as his kids. Great stuff… on tape 4 of 5 right now. More on this to be sure…
  • Friends
    Our closest friends – who are more like family – are moving. Their last day in town is next Wednesday. We have lived in the same town as them since we met in our college years. I moved up here to Rochester area with them right after college. Our kids have grown up together, sharing most of the fun/special days together. We’ve known of the move for a couple months now. That’s kinda nice. Been a nice long goodbye. But it’s still a goodbye, and life will definitely change. Very exciting for them, and I’m sure God will blow us away with the way(s) he fills what we can only see now as a void. But it’s pretty sad at the same time. We’re sure there will be tears next week. In the mean time, been helping with packing and moving as much as we can, and also just visiting as much as we can, while they’re still here. We’ll certainly see them again, but 15 minutes is a lot closer than 6 hours driving time. 🙂
  • Family
    We’ve also been visiting family a lot this month. We got to see my sister’s new house in the Buffalo area. Then went over the next weekend for a big garage sale, and I made a nice mother’s day lunch for my mother-in-law. 🙂 We’re going over again this weekend, and then the next for various family events, too! It’s nice that they are close, but it’s also certainly an expense with gas being near $4.00/gallon!! Yikes!
  • New Friends
    Jen has been going to the community center on Thursday mornings to join (mostly) moms with their pre-schoolers for a couple hours of playtime/funtime. This has been a cool way to meet people we have seen around town (at other similar events) and get to know them better. We obviously have the common link of having tiny kids 🙂 Looking forward to getting to know all of these new friends – who mostly live right around the corner(s) from us – over the summer.
  • Lilacs!
    Whether you pronounce it “lie-lock” or, the proper, phonetic way (li-lac)… 🙂 I am just loving these flowers again this year. Been a neat spring in general. The flowering trees have been beautiful. Our neighbor has several lilac bushes and has generously allowed me to snap of some blooms whenever I’d like. And so, I’ve had beautiful, fragrant lilacs on my desk for the past week or two! Love it!
  • Entertainment
    Almost forgot… been watching the NHL playoffs mostly these days. TiVo has been very helpful as we are usually out for evenings, but then watch the game in fast-forward once we are home! As close as the season was, it was surprising to see Pittsburgh and Detroit each take 3-0 series leads. The other teams both won their game fours, but should be a fantastic Stanley Cup Final between Pittsburgh and Detroit! They’re both amazing.

    And, we’ve rediscovered our fondness for the 80s TV show, The Knight Rider. Our friends, the Vs, enjoy it as well (we loaned them our iPod to watch Season One in its entirety) and Season Two is now coming to our mailbox via Netflix. 🙂 Pretty corny at times, but also pretty fun. Ah, the good ol’ days…

There have been lots of other fun events the past several days/weeks. Really can’t share them all here. As I said, it’s been a time of doing and intake more than a time of output 🙂 Suffice it to say, all of these social events have reminded me again that I am (or have become) a people person. I am not sure why I am doing an office-related job, then… 🙂 But am still super thankful for the provision we see from God in that.

More to come on the stuff I have been thinking through from the Brennan Manning tapes, as well as some good conversations with the church (friends who are fellow followers of Jesus), and just the stuff God has been placing on my heart and mind. So fun to share every bit of life with someone who loves me so much. Hope you know that, and you’re experiencing that, too.