Estimated reading time: 3 minute(s)
I’m sitting on my front porch right now, with a cup of Chai, and my PowerBook, getting ready to write a basic enews and do a few updates to the basic website, and I am currently being entertained by the elementary kids trying to run a mile around the track that is across the street from our house. It’s hilarious. There’s a girl who is probably younger than me (didn’t you always think your teachers were way old? Guess they weren’t…) shouting out encouragements as they kids go at varying speeds down the track.
As I watched them, I noticed several stragglers… the walkers. The encouraging girl would shout out, “No walking! Keep it up! Let’s go!” and the kids would give half-hearted effort to go just slightly faster than a walk. And I am sitting here thinking, “Dude, if it was me, I’d be out there pushing myself to do my best!” There are a few people out there doing that, but certainly the majority do not seem to share that inner motivation.
Why is that? Am I so different from the majority of the population? Is motivation a rare commodity?
The other day I was playing basketball with a friend, just one on one, and it was very evenly matched. I was shooting pretty well, even hitting my underneath stuff, and he was dominating on the boards. He’s a good 6’4″ I think, so rebounds and defending the underneath stuff are quite a challenge to be sure.
Well, in the third game, he had it all going. I was actually playing quite well, but I just couldn’t do it. Even my best stuff was not enough. That can be frustrating.
But that’s when I noticed a difference between me and my son Alex.
Alex LOVES to play. Sports, games, video games, anything. So when we’re playing football (one on one with older brother, Ian, with Dad as the all-time QB) he does well, but usually not well enough to beat Ian. At some point when he realizes his best is not good enough to emerge victorious… he just cries. He breaks down and says through tears, “I really wanted to… [insert goal to achieve here]” And I tell him over and over, “Alex, just get up and go again. Give it another try. You get to try again!”
My mind can not understand just giving up. I mean… I just keep going. I keep trying. I am super motivated to do the best I can do. Sometimes you have to take a break from that, but in general… I just get up and try again.
What is it that makes the difference? What is it inside us that, instead of giving up, pushes us to get up and try again? Sometimes it’s external “motivation” (like, the Encouraging Girl across the street yelling at her students). But when does the motivation come from within?
I was talking with Jen about it last night as we played a board game together. We were just having fun chatting, but you know… we were playing a game. Why play a game if you’re not trying to compete. So, when something would not go my way, I’d give a short “Grrrr!” and then, just move on. Try again. She thinks she is not competitive at all (which I would disagree with… 😉 so when she sees the momentary “grrrr” she thinks I am mad, done, it’s over. I am not. I think there’s room for a momentary frustration, but that motivates you to get up and try again?
Doesn’t it?
I actually have no idea. I’m not sure why self-motivation seems so obvious and perhaps “easy” to me. And, why does it seem to be missing in many others? If y’all reading this have any thoughts, I’d love to read them. Just post a comment below.
What does it take to just “roll with the punches” and be motivated enough to give your best at everything you do, just because you want to do your best?
I look forward to reading your responses.
Just to clarify, because sometimes the things I say come off as “I’m right, you’re wrong.” …
I do not think that if you are not as motivated as I might be that you are somehow less. Nor do I think that I am more, simply because I have greater inner motivation. If that was implied as you read, please un-imply. 🙂
I know everyone is different, and am learning the vast breadth of that difference as I grow older. I guess that’s part of my fascination. How can we all be so different? 🙂
So, hopefully some “different” folks are reading this and can show me how my super motivation is “weird” 🙂 Haha.
I look forward to it.
Wow– I guess motivated about WHAT is the key. Are you motivated about EVERYTHING you do, or are there certain things that you are more motivated about than others. Like, you are motivated to write hours and hours worth of blog entries and other web stuff, but I am totally not. I am motivated to run every day and someday run a marathon. You are not. People think I’m “weird” or “crazy” for that, just as they may think you are “weird” or “crazy” for what you do. I certainly do. 🙂 And then there’s how motivations change– like you used to be really motivated to go on the road and do music stuff and I used to be motivated to lead worship all the time– our motivation has totally changed huh?!! The coolest motivation though is the stuff that comes from God– the way He motivates US to love others and know him better!! That’s the best kind of motivation. 🙂
Hey, good point.
I guess I just meant motivated to do what you are doing. Certainly there are times I am not. Whether my mind (or heart) is somewhere else, or I’m just tired, or what have you. You can’t always be 100% motivated all the time.
I suppose I mean just being characterized by wanting to do what you are doing to the best of your ability while you’re doing that. You know? You’re right, I am not motivated to start running, but when I do, I want to do that the best that I can. I push myself just beyond where I feel “comfortable”, to see if I can do better.
As for the music, I must confess. I was never motivated (at least not much) by the music. That was something given to me by God, for sure. HOWEVER, once I was doing it, I was motivated to do that the best that I could do it.
So, am I using the wrong word? 🙂 Or are there two kinds (or times) of motivation?
Thanks for your thoughts, Steph. And yes, the word explosion over the past two days is a little… “weird”. 🙂
I think Steph has a fantastic point – people really are motivated to do different things. When I was little, I was motivated to build legos … all the freakin’ time. Nobody else could match it. Now I’m strongly motivated to write. Maybe you’re strongly motivated to succeed.
I suppose it depends on which field of psychology you subscribe to. There are a number of theories that try to explain motivation, but I think the best one is a theory called “Self-Determination Theory” … a theory I think you might like.
I got to take the class from the two guys that literally wrote the book … and the theory.
There’s a spectrum of motivation, from external motivation (usually pain or reward based) to intrinsic motivation, the kind that comes from a pure internal desire to do something. People vary on the scales for each one, but the authors (Deci and Ryan) talk about how one can move back and forth along the spectrum, how you can start totally externally motivated to do something, but eventually come to a place where you almost feel like it’s entirely your idea to do something; you can’t start something as an external motivation and make it become an intrinsically motivated thing, but you can take an intrinsically motivated action and make it externally motivated – and then kill the intrinsic motivation. It’s crazy, really, but the theory seems to hold.
You might just be one of those people who has a high intrinsic motivation to succeed, or you might have a high internal motivation that was cultured and you only think that it’s intrinsic. Either way, it’s a pretty good thing to have (except I suppose it could be bad if you don’t know when to quit something …). I can’t remember as many specifics of the theory, and my text is at home. Remind me when we get back to the states and I’ll dig it out and show you more 🙂
This happened YEARS ago…
I remember that one time we were talking about or watching those World’s Strongest Man competitions and you commented that such a level of strength was one of the most useless skills you could develop.
While I thought the comment was utterly asinine, I also knew that not everyone is driven to develop the same things.
I always says that I’m lazy and unmotivated. I am the poster boy for wasted potential.
My wife, OTOH, claims that when I care about something, I pursue it relentlessly regardless of cost or discomfort. I suppose this is true.
It’s just too bad that I don’t care about anything important. 🙂
This is interesting. I think I used the wrong word. Or, perhaps I just don’t understand. I mentioned it before, but I’ll just reiterate…
I think perhaps there are two kinds of motivation? One is motivation to begin something, and the second (the one I had in mind) is the motivation to do your best at what you are currently doing. Maybe that’s something else, because all who have commented so far seem to be referring to the first kind of motivation, and I completely agree with your comments.
Chi, sorry if I said that. I have said a lot of stupid things along the way, and marrying Jen has helped me see that. (Yes, unfortunately that means I have learned from the mistake of saying “stupid things” to Jen.) But anyway… I don’t think it’s a “useless skill”. Do what you want to do, and do it as much as you want to. Regardless of what some young, 20-something mouth says. 🙂
So… if y’all are still reading this… is there another word for what I am talking about? Motivation to do your best at what you are currently doing (regardless of what “motivated” you to get there)?
No sweat, bro. It was a long time ago and we were all so young. 🙂
I know the kind of motivation you are referring to. I don’t know the word for it. I don’t know if there is a word for it. Maybe just plain ol’ discipline but with a twist. Maybe we can make up a word for it. Omnimotivated or something like that.
However, it does bring to mind Colossians 3:23-24:
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (NIV)
Yea, not an easy thing to do.
I just watched the movie Rudy last night… the one about the tiny guy who wanted to play football at Notre Dame. Well, he did, and he played super hard on every down… even though he was just on the practice team. Never suited up for a game.
The other guys were like, “calm down dude… you’re just on the pracitce team” And he was like, “I have to do my best so you can be ready to beat Purdue!” And they were like… “Oh yeah…”
Anyway, surfer talk aside… it was a good example of both types of motivation. He was SUPER motivated to get there… AND he was “motivated” or whatever to do his best every time he got a chance to do.