At the home of some good friends the other night, my son Ian told our hosts that Alex didn’t like something (I forget what) because he doesn’t like rules… “just like Dad.” 🙂 That gave our friends a little chuckle (maybe partly because they know it’s true!) and initiated a brief conversation about the need for rules in society. One opinion was that, in our fallen state, we need rules. We can’t function without them. Another opinion (mine) was that we are not made to be bound by rules. Ideally we live free – governed by our own internal rules. I do admit that not everyone chooses to live this way, which necessitates the “rules”, but that’s why I think rules are always hurtful. They never help, they always limit and detract from the fullness of whatever they are trying to protect.

But I could still completely see the other point of view. So I pondered a bit more why I think it’s possible to live sans rules. What I came up with was just from thinking about my own motivations. When I do something for someone else (or, perhaps, don’t do something) it’s never to meet the requirements of some rule. I never think, “I need to leave that MacBook Pro on my Dad’s desk because the Bible says ‘Don’t Steal’.” Instead, I leave the MBPro there (against my impulses…) 🙂 because I love my Dad. It belongs to him, and it would hurt our relationship for me to take it.

Now, perhaps you think using my Dad was a bad example. Or something as valuable as a MacBook Pro. Let’s take a different example. I’m at the bank, and I use their pen to sign my check and fill out the deposit slip. “The pen seems kinda cool… I need one… they won’t miss it…” but then your conscience gets the better of you and you think, “No… God says, ‘Don’t Steal’, and that means pens too!” And you leave the pen, thanks to your obedience to the rule.

But what if relationship – even to someone you don’t really know – motivated you instead? Instead of thinking “Thou shalt not steal,” maybe think, “That pen belongs to someone else, and I wouldn’t like it if they took mine, so I’m not going to take it.” Or, if stealing is not your gig… think about anything else we have rules for. Step out of the context of obedience to the RULE and think about how you can love – or not be loving – your neighbor by your actions.

It creates a freedom far beyond what any “righteous” obedience to a set of morals could offer. We are free to love because we are loved. When we love, and act out of love, we are living “under the rules” but not by the rules. Does that make sense? Everything I do, I want to have the people around me in the front of my mind. How will what I do – or don’t do – affect those around me? I am not considering rules… I am considering relationship.

There is the freedom of living not under rules, but out of love. The former is accomplished by the latter, but the motivation is different. If motivated by rules, we will always fail. We will not live up to the standards, or maybe even need to “break a rule” in order to love someone. But if we live out of love, the heart of the rule is fulfilled.

Matthew 22:35-40 (New Living Translation)
One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”