Estimated reading time: 5 minute(s)
Inspired by recent readings, hearings and various thinkings floating through GregsHead, I have thought again about our push for being right. For knowing the truth and letting others “have it”. I read a column this morning by a local radio talk show guy who was certainly convinced that he had the “right” answer for what the church should be and do. (Now, I know… that’s his job… but still, furthers my point that we all love to be right.)
Maybe Christians are the worst at this. From early on, most of us are taught that there is a right, and definitely a wrong. Actually, many wrongs. We recently heard the Bible referred to as “our only Rule Book”. Ouch. Is that what it is? What about all the people who interpret it differently than you do? They have rules, too… just different from yours. In most cases (in the view of both parties) the other guy is wrong. And you’re right.
This obsession with being right actually removes us from relationship with other people. We focus so much on having and knowing the “truth” that we must first verify that those with whom we associate are “with us”, and “doctrinally correct”, and if not, we must instruct them accordingly. There is always a bit of an angst as errors in thinking must not be tolerated. At least when it comes to Christianity.
And there’s the rub. We have something (Christianity) that we need to protect, not Someone we want to introduce. An institution is defined. It has a Rule Book. It’s easy (at least, sort of) to protect and preserve. A Person is not. Someone who is alive and dynamic (yet the same “yesterday, today and forever”) is not easy to define, protect or preserve. Many have said, “You can’t keep God in a box.” Of course, they were probably referring to “the other guy’s box”… but, I believe that statement is true.
For some reason I was reminded of a strange rule we have made up today. Perhaps it’s due to hearing of marriages and other similar relationships dissolving for one reason or another. I remembered a “proof text” that many use for when it’s “OK” to divorce. Remember when Jesus said that divorce was bad… unlesssss… the WIFE has been unfaithful. Don’t you know that people (your intrepid author’s former self included) use that to say that if there has been infidelity (perhaps especially from the woman???) that divorce is OK. And hold mightily to the words Jesus said previously that divorce is always bad. Which, I believe is correct, since Jesus seemed to say it as truth… but we leave out the “context” part where something that’s bad might be better than something that’s worse.
On many such occasions, we take the Rule Book and we bash it over each other’s heads… saying my way is right. I got it from the Book! You must be wrong! (Even though our “adversary”) is many times doing exactly the same thing. They just view it differently.
I am coming to understand that it’s not my job to interpret the “Rules” for someone… for anyone else. My job is to be faithful to my understanding of what God wants from me, and then to love other people as I have been loved. Yes, sometimes love is “tough” and requires an uncomfortable confrontation – BETWEEN FRIENDS. It seems a confrontation is only effective (and then only sometimes) if relationship already exists. If not, why should the confronted change their “aberrant” behavior based on the “Rules” of a stranger?
The Bible is not a Rule Book. God doesn’t even want us to live by Rules. The Rules were fulfilled by Jesus. It is finished. That doesn’t mean it’s not good to live as God intended us to… certainly God’s law will last forever. BUT, we were never meant to keep the law… never able to do that. I’ve been reading Romans again, and Paul emphatically states that:
For no one is put right in God’s sight by doing what the Law requires; what the Law does is to make us know that we have sinned. But now God’s way of putting people right with himself has been revealed. It has nothing to do with law, even though the Law of Moses and the prophets gave their witness to it. God puts people right through their faith in Jesus Christ. God does this to all who believe in Christ, because there is no difference at all: everyone has sinned and is far away from God’s saving presence. But by the free gift of God’s grace all are put right with him through Christ Jesus, who sets them free. … In this way God shows that he himself is righteous and that he puts right everyone who believes in Jesus. What, then, can we boast about? Nothing! And what is the reason for this? Is it that we obey the Law? No, but that we believe.
Taken from Rom 3:20-27, Good News Translation.
If you try to keep the Rules, and make others do the same, you’ll only be butting your head up against a wall that won’t ever be knocked down. We’re meant (I think) to live in the fullness of a restored relationship with our Creator, and then to love the other Createds he puts around us. Rules work perhaps in a computer program… where everything is always (supposed to be) the same. But when people are involved, Rules almost never work. We’re too unique. Principles, that can adjust to the context of a situation are more applicable, to be sure. But… maybe we could just make our only “rule” the rule to love everyone we meet, as we have been loved.
At least then the Rule Book would be a lot smaller. ๐
I’m with ya, Greg. The rules seem kinda silly the more I get to know Abba and the more He gets into my heart– I’m not so worried about people (including me) conforming to the rules and am freer just to love them and see them as Jesus does. I’m still learning how to do that, but it’s easier when i don’t have to be trying to convince them of something. Thanks for your insights.
Funny that you should mention “freedom” ๐ I’ve got an article brewing on that one… God has been reminding me a LOT lately about the freedom that we really have in Jesus, and how that’s one of the coolest things he gives us – when we’re in him.
And it’s true… part of the freedom is not needing to convince anyone ๐
Greg, I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now. I like your vision of Christian living and freedom. But I’m curious as to how you see the Ezzos’ parenting classes supporting or conflicting with this approach to Christian living. Would you write about that a little?
Hi Kathy
Thanks for reading along. I appreciate the company. It’s nice to bounce ideas off of fellow followers.
I might bring in the Ezzo parenting stuff now and again, but I don’t have any plans to write about it soon… It has been interesting as we have moved away from a rule-keeping way of following Jesus, to a relationship-oriented, love-motivated, grace-filled approach to life.
While I do see a more black/white approach in general from Gary & Anne Marie, I do see the flexibility and the context of the moment more than I used to. It’s funny… I think one perceives the world around him through his own view of the world. Does that make sense? If I’m a rule follower, then the Ezzos are rule followers to a T. If I’m trying to live grace-filled life where I respond in every situation to people and relationships that are alive and dynamic, what the Ezzos are teaching also seems to fit that. You hear what you are listening for, in many cases.
So, we still love the Ezzos, and implement many things we have learned from all of their books/videos. But as we have grown in grace and freedom in Jesus, I think we have learned to hear that in what they are teaching as well. Pretty cool.
Honestly, I must conclude with this: we don’t really consider ourselves “Ezzo” parents. We have used (and continue to use) Babywise through Growing Kids God’s Way materials, and are always encouraged by the Ezzos’ material. However, we hope to parent each of our children as God leads, and as fits their individual personalities… who God made them to be. So actually… I never thought about how a freer view of life in Jesus interacted with the Ezzos’ parenting ideas before just now. ๐
This turned into quite a reply though, eh? ๐
If I’m a rule follower, then the Ezzos are rule followers to a T. If I’m trying to live grace-filled life where I respond in every situation to people and relationships that are alive and dynamic, what the Ezzos are teaching also seems to fit that.
That’s interesting, thank you for explaining how you see it. I’d truly been wondering.
Much to think about, thank you!