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I have just watched the most appalling thing I have ever seen. That was not written for “shock factor”. I believe it’s true. I have seen some pretty amazing movies over the years, that depict in vivid, gut-wrenching detail the failures of people through the ages. Failures, and heroics. Some that I have commented on include Kingdom of Heaven, and the insanity of killing religious enemies, and Cold Mountain, where brother was turned against brother. People who both bore the name American, and only a few generations earlier had stood side by side, giving everything they had to win the freedom to be brothers in a new land. Only to tear the other down in bitter hatred mere decades later.

A long while back I even watched Saving Private Ryan, which in some ways pales in comparison to the movie I just finished. The visual effects still linger in my mind from that movie, but the goodness of humanity managed to outlast the vicious evil we are also capable of.

Hotel Rwanda was in my DVD slot tonight. I had seen a good review of it by a friend of ours, and Ian and I are going to learn about that country next, so I figured I would watch and learn. Even though I was prepared for a troubling story… I was not prepared.

The LORD looks down from heaven on the entire human race; he looks to see if there is even one with real understanding, one who seeks for God. But no, all have turned away from God; all have become corrupt. No one does good, not even one!

Psalm 14:2-3

Not one. It was easy to see that tonight. All of us are on the brink of heinous crimes. We could so easily be pushed over the line to do something unthinkable. Close to a million people were just slaughtered in the 1990s because they had the wrong “background”. A name applied to them that would suppose to define them. But, other than that externally imposed difference, the people were indistinguishable. They were brothers. Sisters. Family.

Atrocity. Perhaps the word is over-used these days in our sensationalistic, 24-hour news media. But perhaps not. The movie referenced a web site before it began. Amnesty.org. I can not verify the accuracy or veracity of the content of the site, but for now, I am assuming it’s true. These things are still happening. People are killing people because of some lie that has poisoned their mind and soul. To believe that another human being is less deserving of life than you are is a despicable lie from the Father of Lies.

I am just at a loss. Really.

I sit here in my fully-equipped, air-conditioned office, at my brand new $1300 computer, having just watched on my $2100 lap top a DVD (that I got for free from my library). I know nothing of trouble. I know nothing of the pain that so many deal with, that has been inflicted on them by their own people. Their own family. Sure, I have trouble… who doesn’t? But mine (and ours?) so pale when placed along side the genocide of Rwanda, or the civil unrest of Sierra Leone, or Ethiopia. (Not to mention Iraq, Iran, Palestine, Israel, Afghanistan, Pakistan, India, etc, etc, etc.)

My gut aches at the powerless feeling that overwhelms me right now. I think, “God, why do I get to just worry about if my sports team is making the right decisions in the off-season? Why do I get to be so wealthy, and complain about not paying my bills on time?” I figure, I need to sell everything and give all the money I can to the effort to bring justice to the world. Organizations like Amnesty International are trying to do that, right? They could use my money to end injustice.

Wrong.

I’m not saying they are not worth supporting. And perhaps we will. But that is not the answer. It’s just not. “There is none good, not one.” It is the human condition. Amnesty has pleas on their website for government intervention. If the federal government would just step in, all would be well. But it won’t. It would be quieted for a time, perhaps. But hatred will once again prevail. Bigotry and fear will once again cause one human being to loathe and despise another, eventually snapping and taking action on those emotions. Put enough of this together, and you have the genocide that occurred in Rwanda.

This may sound fatalistic, but I don’t believe there is an answer. And I don’t believe we are protected either. Yes, for the moment it seems as though we are. But we are not. The enemy only lives to “steal, kill, and destroy”. That does not just mean in Africa, or the middle East, or Asia. That means we here in the US as well. Perhaps he is doing it silently at the moment. But he is doing it. And will do it.

The only thing we can do is this:

The LORD God has told us what is right and what he demands: “See that justice is done, let mercy be your first concern, and humbly obey your God.”

Micah 6:8

Love God, and love the people around us. No matter what we may think about them. All are created equal. God has knit each one together in their mother’s womb. Be they welcome members of a family who loves them, and loves God (like we are learning, longing to be), or even an outcast because of physical or mental limitations, or, dare I say, even a child born of rape or some other despicable act. I do not think God wills those things, but everyone who has been given breath is a child of the King. And they deserve to be treated that way.

Our condition is bleak, but I suppose that’s the message of the gospel. God loves us despite our ugliness. He must cry just like I did at the limitless depths of our depravity – like the hateful killings in Rwanda. But maybe he also glows with fatherly pride when one of us lives those words above. Justice, mercy and humility. The hotel manager in Rwanda understood a piece of that. I can only hope that I would as well.