Estimated reading time: 4 minute(s)

I sit here, a bit in shock after the amazingly fast tooth removal I just witnessed. Actually, that part sort of amazed me as well. I figured when they yank something out of your tooth that they would have to knock you out. Nope. Just a bit of novocaine administered by an aggressive, experienced (and hurried?) oral surgeon.

(Footnote: I learned a new word today… Maxillofacial. Go ahead, take another look. It’s not easy to say the first time. It means anything below your nose and above your neck. This guy was an oral and Maxillofacial surgeon. Cool.)

When I arrived, I was given the customary warm greeting from the lady behind the counter. (Wouldn’t you think the more people-person oriented would want to be a receptionist?) And, after I was processed administratively, I was sent to the waiting room for the once again customary 30 minute wait. No trouble here, as I found some fascinating articles in the latest issue of Discover Magazine to peruse.

When my time came, I was ushered to a nice, peaceful little room with a large red recliner. Of course, in the midst of the tranquility were anesthesias and rubber gloves and remnants of jobs performed earlier in the day, not to mention the tray of large, sharp metal tools displayed only inches from where my head would rest. That was comforting.

After only a few moments, a nurse arrives with most of a smile and asks me if I brought X-Rays. I told her I forgot mine at home, and she offered to take a photo of my teeth for only $19.95. I couldn’t pass up that kinda deal, so I accepted.

She quickly photographed my pearly whites and returned with a 2″ x 2″ black and white of my upper left jaw. They were beautiful. They were also quite full of metal. 🙂 I have not been the best caretaker of my mouth over the years, I don’t think……..

I began to ask a few questions about the procedure and she quickly silenced me with, “The doctor will explain everything when he arrives.” Feeling put in my place, I offered no further queries, and just relaxed in the recliner, waiting to find out what in the world they were going to do to me. I mean, teeth are pretty secure in your head, aren’t they? How were they proposing to remove this tooth anyway?

A few minutes later, in strolls the doctor. He’s a bit older than me, pleasant smile on his face, yet he had quite a professional air about him. He said hello, and we exchanged names, and I barely let him enter the room before bombarding him with how-to questions about the upcoming procedure.

He graciously answered my questions, and explained to me that the tooth removal was quite ordinary and would take all of five minutes. WHOA! Five minutes?! Crazy. But, he sounded as though it would be quite routine.

I asked a few more questions and finally said, “I guess I watch too much Discover Channel or something.”

He replied, “Yes. You sound like me… what is it you do?”

“I am mostly a musician, though recently I have been doing a bunch of graphic and web design work. I do many creative sorts of things.”

“Ahh. You must have a large left brain.” he commented.

I affirmed his conclusion, only later did I recall that in fact the creative types have large right brains. Was that a test? Did I fail? Probably not.

So, after numbing me up with a couple hastily administered shots of novocaine, he left to tend to another patient. When he stuck the needles in, I think he was aiming for a lobe of the brain near the back of my skull. Perhaps it works better that way? I told him I heard a ripping sound when he put the needle in, to which he replied, “Oh, that’s just the tissue. It was pretty tight there.”

Oh. That’s all.

Within a short period of time, Dr. Maxillofacial and his trusty sidekick return and get straight to business. I mean really. There was no time for pleasantries. I tried to ask a quick question, but they stuck their hands in my mouth and started to PULL.

Now, if you have never had this done, perhaps you are not aware of the force it takes to remove a tooth from its proper place. They are quite well entrenched in your head.

All of this happened so fast, I couldn’t really believe it. One moment I am at peace, alone in the nice quiet room, and the next there are two people with metal instruments stuck into my mouth pulling my head off!!! It was a bit disconcerting.

I felt the tooth begin to give way, and then it snapped, falling into my mouth. They quickly removed most of it (one piece was slippery enough to elude their recovery effort and found its way down my esophagus, to be dealt with at a later date.) After the initial break and quick clean up, he grabbed his power tools and started drilling. I have never… ever… EVER heard such a loud noise in my ear. It was incredible! Seriously loud, almost painful noise in my ear. I was not expecting that. Otherwise it was mostly painless.

The entire procedure was complete within only a few minutes – perhaps less. I was quickly sent on my way with post removal instructions and a cup with my tooth fragments in it to show to Ian upon my return home.

My wallet and head were a bit lighter, and I headed for home.

I am now one tooth less, and hopefully get to keep the rest. We shall see. 🙂