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I had an interesting moment with a friend the other day. The moment came during (and after) a conversation with him regarding how we see the same events very differently. It was not all that meaningful, or deep… but it definitely struck a nerve or something in me.

We were talking of a pair of events where I happened to be, and some people from his church happened to be, and he called them [This Church] gatherings. My jaw dropped when I read those words (it was an Instant Message conversation) as I could not believe that he called these two non-event events “[This Church] gatherings”. They had nothing to do with [This Church]. But, he felt any time a person who is associated with [This Church] is in the same place with anyone else from [This Church] it is a [This Church] gathering.

I was incredulous, and proceeded to passionately argue my viewpoint that we do not need these labels. They only serve to divide. The events in question were a gathering in a home for a homeschool book presentation, and a day when I was helping move some friends from one house to another. They were informal, life events. No one need stake claim to them.

I mentioned how we had been going through an 18-week parenting course with some friends a while back and the church that several of them were part of decided to list our meeting as one of “their” small groups. We were not started by them, or connected to them in any way, but when I inquired, I found they had a similar mindset: [That Church]’s people are meeting in a small group setting, so… it’s a [That Church] small group! 🙂

Why must we slap on such labels? Why do we have to call any gatherings of people by some made up name? For instance, we have stopped calling our Tuesday nights with friends a “small group”. We do not get together on Tuesdays to feed the existence of an institution dubbed, “Small Group”. We get together as often as possible because we like to be together! Tuesday nights is the night we have freed on our calendars to make sure we get to see everyone once a week. Every other week we do something fun with our kids and the opposite week we get babysitters so the adults can have some adult time.

Now, this event began as a structured small group meeting as part of [This Church]. But, over time, it evolved into more than that. We are all part (a big part) of each other’s lives. We are, in my mind, a church. Though, to be consistent, I do not label it as such. 🙂

There is nothing wrong with an institution. The structured life of what we know as church is helpful in many ways. The draw back of an institution is that it is by nature impersonal and for the masses. Must be regulated by rules and procedures. It has many labels, to properly assign things to their times and locations. As helpful as those things are in operating and growing an institution, I do not believe they are able to contain the Kingdom.

God’s Kingdom goes beyond institution. It is incredibly personal, and so, different for each individual. It is, as we know and proclaim, about an everyday relationship with our Savior. It is a Father inviting his children to come along with him today… “Let me show you what this day has for us.” It is not bound by times or places, or practices… it is a reality. Not something that can be captured by labels or words. Jesus always referred to the Kingdom of God or of Heaven with stories, saying, “The kingdom of God is like…” And in John, he said that the spirit is like the wind, never knowing where it came from or where it’s going. It can not be contained.

But still we try.

And not just with the church. We homeschool our kids, mostly because we don’t like the institution that has been established to teach our kids. The institution of public education is for the masses. It is impersonal. It makes a futile attempt to teach kids academically and morally, while placating the unending variations of morality taught in those kids’ homes. It can’t work. It does, as I am a product of the Institution… and not that messed up by it (am I?? 🙂 But is it ideal? No way. Not even close.

For us, we prefer the hands on, family feel of two loving parents who know their kids the best, and can help them understand their world the best since we also love them the most. We think similarly that the church functions best when those who have walked with Jesus a bit longer “teach” the folks God puts around them (their spiritual “kids”). Not by scheduling meetings, and sending out clever postcards… the people who are PART of you. Your three closest friends. How much more are you going to care about one of your three best friends than someone you by way of a title or an office have been given charge over, though perhaps you only see them across a room on Sunday mornings?

The heart behind a lot of the procedures in the institution of the church is to help everyone stay close to Jesus. But, our best plan to maintain that is so feeble compared to just letting the folks whom God has placed in their lives really love them. We assign the title of elder or pastor or minister or deacon or even lay leader to folks, and charge them with caring for the flock. As if a title will somehow make them care more, or even perhaps just more effective as they do. The title is meaningless. Some folks have been gifted by God to “pastor”… to love people and care for them. But all of us have been called to bear each others burdens, to encourage and admonish. Not EVERYONE we meet… but “each other”. The people we spend time with. In a close, open, loving relationship, that naturally flows from doing life together. In an institution, it is a procedure to maintain the integrity of said institution. Never in as many words, nor in the hearts of those carrying it out… but nevertheless, true by default.

I am tired of labels. I am tired of structuring life together. I just want to live. I want to love people. I want to know my Father more than I think possible right now. I am trying in all of this to not turn around and label the labelers. That is hard. But with Jesus help, I might start to look like him. 🙂

That’s a label I wouldn’t mind bearing.