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One more thing from Saturday (a very long, crazy day…)
We were out getting a few more things for Christmas, and I was going through the line at Wegman’s (a Rochester-area grocer.) I had the goodies ready to purchase, and as I was ready to pay I recalled the one other item I was supposed to get. The coupon in my hand with the nice picture of it did help jog my memory. 🙂 Well, there was a line, and it was not in that particular aisle, so I just grabbed the change and receipt along with the coupon and headed back hastily to the next aisle to get the special gum I was to retrieve for my wife.
As I was scanning the candy aisle (which we do not usually do) I felt some papers drop from my hand. I was shocked when I looked down and noticed that the papers were in fact US legal tender! I had dropped the $13 change I had gotten from my twenty dollar bill! I was a bit flustered, but just bent down and grabbed all the little green backs. I counted, and noticed one was missing… the ten! Doh! If only I had just lost one of the singles…
So, there I was in line at a very busy grocery store down on my hands and knees, rear end up in the air, peeking under the magazine and candy racks. It was a very interesting sight, I am sure. But I couldn’t find it! Anywhere!! Now I was really getting flustered.
It was my turn to make my purchase, so I told the cashier what had happened, and fumbled with the aforementioned gum and coupon, at least wanting to complete that transaction. After that, I spoke with a couple managers, and they shut down the lane so that we could move stuff and begin the recovery mission.
To our surprise, the $10 bill was better at hiding than it should have been. We found much loose change, and a cool ring, and some other items… but no ten dollar bill! Ahhh!!! How could this happen?! We watch every nickel and dime that we spend, and I just DROPPED a ten-dollar bill?!?!? I was so mad!!!
So, I get out to the car, just finally giving up, and I am steaming. Jen can tell something is obviously wrong. We sat in silence for quite some time. I think I had explained the story to her, but I was not mentally there. I was waging a fierce battle in my mind over the role of money in our lives. Eventually I believe I blurted out these words:
“I just wish money didn’t mean anything to me!”
What I meant, of course, was that most of my struggle was that we can not afford to just be flipping 10-dollar-bills round the floors of various and sundry grocers, carefree and skipping through the aisles. That does not currently jive with our budget. But what I noticed from my own words was much more frightening.
I do care about money. Money to some degree still controls me. If I really believed what I profess to believe, that God is in fact our provider, and every need we have is and ever will be met by him and him only… I would be able to laugh off the silly dissappearing ten-spot. But, that was not the case. My day was ruined because my stupidity had lost us $10. I was crushed, angry… and the day was toast.
What if I really trusted God with our finances. When will I be able to see it is not my own efforts to make or save or budget our monies that puts food on our tables and pays our bills? It is all from our Father, who loves us, and wants to take care of us. That is so, so hard for me to grasp. I am so far from that, it seems. But perhaps this was another piece in the puzzle.
To wrap up the story, God gave us the $10 back. No, Wegman’s did not call and let us know they found it. No, we did not return in the wee hours of the night scouring every nook and cranny to finally discover its secret location. We sold some CDs at a gig the next day… and two people paid $15 each for $10 CDs. Surplus of ten dollars. Exactly what I had lost, and lost so much life worrying over.
How ironic. 🙂