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I think I may have written this before, but it bears saying again after yesterday’s blog about Agendas. I sure don’t like games. People who try to manipulate others by their words or actions…. that really bothers me. I just want straight up, honest relating to each other.
We play games at work. With our co-workers, and especially with our bosses. We play games in dating relationships. We play games at school. We play games “at church”. We are constantly playing little games to manipulate our relationships with others to work in our favor.
What it comes down to, I think, is that we are not content in ourselves. We are not secure enough in who we are, that we must constantly create and present a persona that is “more acceptable” to the people we do life with. We try to meet the expectations that we expect are expected of us. It’s such a crazy loop to which we all (myself included) fall victim.
All we need to do is be real. We’re all in the same boat. On the same sea. Just tryin’ to get from here to there. (Lyrics from a song I wrote…) But it’s true. We don’t have to pretend to be something we’re “supposed to be”. Just be you. You are great the way God made you to be. Your flaws are weaknesses in you that allow more room for His greatness. Let him fill it, and know that you are not the only flawed person on the planet. I am. You are. We are.
I despise the agendas we have for the people in our lives because it’s another form of game playing. It’s focused on us, and our perceived needs (or even, what we perceive others to need) instead of honest relationships with people. It’s hiding behind a “purpose” because perhaps we’re uncomfortable being completely raw and open, and available. It’s not easy, but I keep thinking that the fruit from such a lifestyle is so much sweeter.
We don’t need to play games with each other. Just be who you are. Period.
I do have to say I agree.
I think (and again, let me play the ‘cultural’ card here) it is SO common in ‘american’ culture (I put american in quotes since America is more than just the US)to have so many different ‘rules’ applied to living life. Rules for behavior at work, with certain friends, at ‘church’, out in public, and even within our MOST intimate relationships, with our parents, siblings, and even our own spouses(!). We have somehow learned that who we are, essentially is not ‘presentable’ and although we all know we are all in the same boat, nobody is quite willing to admit it to everyone else.
So much energy and time is wasted in playing these games, putting on these fake faces, and generally trying to be someone we’re not, that we would have all this EXTRA time and energy if we would just BE.
I think what exarcebates this is the high price of living in this culture and wanting to belong.
The standard is set so high for how we are supposed to look, behave, the jobs we’re supposed to have or at least want to have, the education level we’re supposed to attain, the house in which we are supposed to live and the “STUFF” we’re supposed to posses. It barely gives most people a chance to even come close! And so we fake a lot, but the ironic thing is, we’re all doing it, we’re all performing. It’s kind of funny, in a sad way.
To a certain degree I guess we will all always play ‘games’ to the extent that societal rules require it. At least, most of us. But hopefully we can all let our guard down enough to be real with the important people in our lives.