Estimated reading time: 3 minute(s)

When you hear the word “Ambition”, what comes to mind? Perhaps not a ‘what’ but a ‘who’ pops into your conciousness first. Someone very driven to succeed, and quite good at accomplishing things they set out to do. Their motivation and their, well, ambition, produces very tangible, visible results in their life.

Now beyond the person, or definition you thought of, what was your first impression when you read the word, “Ambition”? Was it a positive, or a negative reaction to the word? Or, perhaps it was neutral, though I somewhat doubt that as the word is definitely loaded with meaning.

In many circles, the word signifies success, and the driving force behind it. When you have ambition, you are bound to do well. You will accomplish many things. You will taste the fruits of your labor. You are a “real go-getter”. And, most assuredly, ambition is a quality to be praised. Self-motivated behavior that adds to and improves your life and the lives of others around you is a great thing. No one needs to tell an ambitious person what to do next. They are already doing it.

I am such a person. I have so much ambition, and so much creativity, there never seems to be an end to the good things I could do. Aye, but there’s the rub. There never is an end. I go in these cycles of starting (and completing) project after project after project until I notice at the end of a very long day following a very long week… I am completely overwhelmed. My life is fragmented into too many good things. My attention is required in more areas than I can possibly handle. All because of my super high ambition.

Now, I must admit, my ambition is tempered by my refusal to let the things that I do overtake me. I do stop when it’s time to stop. I make time with my family a priority as much as I am able. I make time with friends another priority. So, I will never make it to Donald Trump status financially, but I will maintain some level of sanity. The part that drives me insane is that I think I do have Trump’s ambition, just not the desire to carry it out to its end (expending my life on a career, or the things that I do).

So, I am trying to figure out again what can get cut, what needs to stay, and how I can get out from under this giant weight I have put on myself to be so many things in only so much time. I know life will settle back down. It always does. I know God is taking care of me, even now. Part of my ambition is derived from that. I feel the crunch of bills waiting to be paid, and of everyday expenses needing to be taken care of. So, I do some more things. But I am tired. Weary. I want to know his peace right now.

Perhaps I will just ask him.

Yeah. That will probably do it.