I was at a gas station the other day, just pumping some gas (for myself, not for other folks… I did not land a day job at the local gas station…)

And I noticed something.

For one brief moment, I became part of another world.

There was a family there, pushing the stroller, two other kids in tow… trying to manage a mob of small energetic people. And as I watched and listened, I thought, “Hey, that’s like us. That is us. We walk right through here, and there are people pumping gas when we walk by… now I AM the guy pumping gas in their world…”

And I realized… we are so egocentric. (I am using that term in the philosophy sense… not the selfish, prideful, arrogant sense.) That means, I am the center of my world… everything revolves around me, and is perceived from my vantage point. Mostly, the people around us are just like extras in a movie. Insignificant filler in the story of my life.

But they’re not. Till I was pulled out of my world and swept into theirs, the family walking by were the extras… not me. But then from a different perspective, I was the extra.

I was no longer husband to Jen, father to Ian, Alex & Kirsten. I was no longer a musician, writer, web-designer. I was no longer Tom & Shirley’s son, Tara’s brother. I was just a guy pumping gas.

Isn’t that so odd? The following day at Wal-Mart, I began seeing people for who they really are. Each person has a rich past, and a full present. They are someone’s Dad, Mom, Grandma, Grandpa, son, daughter, friend, boss, partner, pastor, teacher, doctor, etc.

And yet to me, they are extras.

I won’t have the opportunity to be part of any of their worlds. Perhaps some. But likely, they will remain in a way, extras. But, I would like to remember that gas-station experience where for a moment, the world was not my world.

What a world it would be if there were no extras. If we realized the fullness of everyone we run into at a gas station. That is only a piece of the world God knows. He knows each of us intimately. Every detail. Every relationship. All that we are. More than anyone else.

Now that is amazing.

Quite a perspective God has on this world, eh?

Just wanted to let you know, we got the audio master back yesterday!!! We’re almost there! It sounds great!

Just wanted to share the fun with ya!

Don’t forget, you can pre-order a copy (or TEN!) if you want… from a page made just for the CD, complete with audio clips from EACH track!

Check it out, and buy a few if you like!

www.basicmm.com/christmas

The CD is due to be released October 10th, 2004 So… stay tuned…

Been having an interesting e-discussion re: legalistic tendencies, specifically focusing on the use of foul language.

My basic premise is that there really is no good use of foul language in any way. You’ll have to read the post I linked to for the whole story, but basically profanity is profaning. Making less the good that God intended. That’s oversimplified… but, not my point here.

In the course of the discussion, she touched on some people’s decision to avoid alcohol at all costs. And actually, that is me in a way too. I don’t avoid it at all costs, I just don’t want any. Ever. So… that’s not hard for me.

But I don’t push that on other people.

That, I believe, is the root of legalism. This strange compulsion to not only tell everyone else what you think on a certain controversial subject, but to beat them over the head in any way possible until they completely agree with you. 🙂 That has been my friend’s experience (I think) with people who don’t “swear” and who don’t drink. It’s not enough to have the personal conviction… all of those around you should be similarly convicted. Or their Big Nasty Sin Do-ers!

We also hold some pretty radical views on relationships. We think dating leads to WAY more harm than it helps… and the coolest part of a relationship is not the game playing of a dating relationship, but the 100% commitment of a marriage, where there is complete freedom to love and be loved – because you don’t have to earn the other person’s love… or meet their expectations. It makes tons of sense to us, and we have shared the picture we see of God’s ideal relationship from Scripture with lots of groups of people… even in the beginning stages of a book. BUT… (regardless of what some people say…) we DO NOT push this on people. We present the thinking behind it… but there is no pushing.

Legalism is pushy. It says my way is very clear, and very right… and YOU need to follow it. There are not only lots of rules for me, but lots of rules for you too, and you are not a real Christian if you don’t follow them.

That obviously can get dangerous.

I am dealing with lots of stuff in my head tonight. I am sure it will make it to the blog page eventually. But for now… it remains in my head. Much of it deals with opposing worldviews slamming into each other, and some attempts at forced compliance. On many sides. I am trying to sift through when that is OK, and when that borders on legalism.

I’ll let you know what I come up with.

OK, so… it’s been a little over a week since our financial rug was pulled out from under us. In bullet fashion, here’s your update:

• 9/13 – 8:30am – we find out that the $6000 we had cleared off of one card by transfering to another had been instantly taken away from us, leaving us no way to pay for the CD that was already in the process of being made…
  

• 9/13 – 9:30pm – we receive a phone call from Jen’s parents saying that the previous day they had been given a check to be given to us. It was for $3000. That paid for our deposit.
  

• 9/16 – A letter was sent out to the basic mailing list detailing the situation, and just asking if anyone would like to help, mostly by pre-ordering the CDs, but also by donations… response has been somewhat slower than anticipated, but we have about $250 from that. Very cool. TOTAL: $3250.
  

• 9/19 – Get a phone call from my bro-in-law, Josh. We chat about them purchasing a time share we had bought earlier this year (with the intent to sell it again for profit…) We had discussed this earlier, but obviously the timing is great with our need for funds to finish making the CD. After all is said and done, sale will total roughly $2500. TOTAL: $5750.

TOTAL NEEDED FOR CD: $5720

Oh my. 🙂

Got a call from my parents tonight… my Dad wanted to tell me that he totaled his vehicle. (It was kinda a running joke because of our apparent propensity for automobile accidents, but they did just want to recount the details as well…)

And I thought… wow. What if it was my Mom, or other family member calling to say my Dad had been killed in a mostly head-on collision this afternoon. What a shock that would have been.

Why? Because we expect life to continue as is. Not sure why we do that… because it never does. But we do. 🙂 We simply expect that the things we do will for the most part remain constant. That the people we love will remain constant – or at least continue breathing.

I am experiencing that a bit (on a much different level) with the church we are working for. When we signed on a couple years ago, we were a perfect fit for what they needed and vice versa. But, they have changed rapidly in many areas (and perhaps we have not?) and I find myself asking aloud, “Do we fit here?” Life is changing so much that perhaps we do not.

Life is change. Most times that’s really good. Keeps things fresh, and helps us to focus on the only One who does not change. But sometimes change can be so sudden and unexpected that it rocks your world.

Was just remembering some friends of ours whose 16 yr old son was killed in a shooting accident earlier this summer. How sad. How unexpected. He is not supposed to be gone.

Then got the call from my parents tonight, and thought about life without my Dad. Who would take care of my Mom? Who would I call for fatherly wisdom and insight? Who could I count on for help if money was super tight? Who would I disagree with on most everything in life? Who would do my home improvement projects for me?!?? 🙂 (read below for the full story on that…)

I know the answer to all of those above. Rom 8:28 says, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God…” So, I know he would.

But, for now, I’m glad you’re still with us, Dad. 🙂

So, I spent ALL of my day-off yesterday… my one day to relax and recharge for the week ahead… after a week full of 20 hr days… IN MY ATTIC.

Actually, it started Sunday afternoon (which is often the beginning of our family/down time). I did take a break to watch most of the Bills game, though I was cleaning the kitchen and cooking dinner while I was doing that…

Needless to say, it was not a very relaxing “weekend”…

But, I do have a great looking attic… it is nearly done. That is very very cool.

AND, I figured something out.

My dad is Mr. Handy Andy. (His name is not Andy, that just rhymed…) He can and does do any project he likes around the home. Even does stuff for other people. And, I think, he figures I should do the same thing. If there’s a home project, I need to get the tools and do it!

My father-in-law and brother-in-law are similarly minded I think (well, perhaps my father-in-law is more of a mind to have his son do it…) 🙂 Oh, and my neighbor and most of the members of my small group are Handy Randys … especially my neighbor. He is amazing. Really. He’s kinda like MacGuyver… 🙂

But I am not. God has gifted me in other areas. I am skilled in other arenas. But I am not gifted, skilled, nor do I desire to be in the area of “craftmanship” or whatever you want to call it.

And that’s not a bad thing.

I noticed yesterday that for some weird reason, everyone is expected to be able to do their own home repair or home projects. That’s why there’s Home Depot and other such stores. If you own a home, you are supposed to know what’s wrong (or be able to figure it out) and get yourself to the store and select just what you need from the 1004 options in one aisle and then install it with the greatest of ease with the somehwat cryptic instructions included (sometimes) with the box.

We don’t think that way about anything else. When your tooth hurts, you don’t grab the pliers and start diggin’ (well, outside of West Virginia, I mean…) When your car is not working, you don’t put on your coveralls and drive it into your garage with the hydraulic lift and get under there and check it out. (Well, my neighbor does…) 🙂 For most services we need performed, we talk to people who know what they are doing.

But, not for a leaking drain, or an attic project, or drywall, or ANY home repair project. If you do, you are either wasting money or lazy or stupid or something.

I think part of my above perception is related to the folks God has put around me, who are quite masterful at all things involving power tools. But I do think that generally it is true. And it should not be.

I am quite good, I think, at graphic design and especially website design. It is easy and fun for me. Most of the people I mentioned before wouldn’t know the first thing about a website. If they needed one, they would not think… well, I should figure out how to do this and do it myself. No, they would pay someone (preferably me…) to do it for them.

I am also a decent musician (only by God’s call and grace) 🙂 I make CDs. None of the folks above who can create amazing things with their hands would even think of creating an album for public consumption. And they don’t need to. NOR are they expected to.

But there’s a different standard for the home owner.

I have another brother-in-law who is equally gifted in craftmanship (equal to me, that is) and he is SO often the butt of jokes re: his skills with a hammer or measuring tape. Why? Do we make fun of you because you can’t perform surgery? Or because you can’t make a filling? Or because you can’t make a website? Of course not!!

We are all gifted in different ways. And mostly, I’d say, we understand that. And that is the beauty of God’s world. We all have a place in it. Hopefully you are doing what you are gifted at and you have a passion for it and enjoy it. And it is adding to society. AND, hopefully, people are not putting undue pressure on you to do things you are NOT gifted to do!!!

I decided yesterday that after this attic project … any project my Dad would like to do for me (I will even help him all he wants, but he must finish it!!!) would be received with gratitude. If my neighbor wants to help me with something… rock on.

BUT, I will not do any home repair or similar tasks on my own. My time is better spent paying someone who KNOWS what they are doing. Next year, when we plan to do some work in our kitchen… I AM HAVING SOMEONE DO IT!

YEAH!!! 🙂 I am feeling pretty good about my new-found freedom from the fetters of fraudulent expectations. (And some fun use of alliteration…)

I feel like I have been playing lots of games lately.

Games with our finances, making all of the right moves to extend our money and purchasing power as far as it will go. Scheduling life so that money at least will potentially continue to flow in. (That’s pretty much up to God for us, though…)

Games with our church… trying to fit in, playing by the rules, bending the rules, back and forth, give and take…

Playing games with friends, family… not so much me playing the games, more like watching close friends and family play various roles or games with us or each other or their own families. Relationships are a prime playground for games…

Games with my schedule. Trying to balance this and that… pretending I can do everything I have scheduled.

Games with religion… which rules does God want us to keep, and which are just rules that we have imposed on ourselves, that only restrict us from the life to the full that Jesus wants for us. Still trying to figure out what sin really is, and how we treat “sinners” (as far as participation in our Christian games… worship, and other christian service…)

And in the middle of all that… I lost myself in a moment with my amazing little girl. She just smiled the most pure smile of “I-Love-Dad” that I have seen… and reached tenderly to touch my face that was 6 inches from hers.

And that’s when I realized…. THAT is life. Not any of the stuff I had been preoccupying my brain with. Not any of the stuff I have spent 20 hours a day working on this week.

Life is the love of my daughter. Life is the laugh of my son. Life is the precious moments of seeing the hearts of my kids. Life is a moment of nothingness with my wife and best friend of 14 years. (Wife of about 7… best friend of about 14…) 🙂

The games take front stage for a majority of our time… but perhaps we can learn from the glimpses of real life we get every so often?

I’m going to try.

This week I have been working overtime you might say. So much to do, so little time before (1) our first week of vacation this year and (2) our departure for 2 months on tour. (Only to return to the busiest month of our year, December.

So I have been trying to do what I do as though I have a staff of 4 or 5 people. And, I am the staff. 🙂 That means I have not had much time with my family, and have not gotten much sleep.

I think that wears on you after a while.

So, this morning, I decided to sleep. Went to bed a little after 11pm last night (that’s like 4 hours early for me) and I slept till 9 or so. I needed to get up around 6:30 or so and do a whole bunch more office work, but … it’s still here, and I feel alot better, and hopefully I can be lots more effective today.

We’ll see how it goes.

I am in my office. It seems that I have gotten myself in over my head? I can not figure out why I have so much to do these days. It started with an attic project at the beginning of the summer… and has only piled up since then.

So, here I am sitting in my office, doing the things I don’t rely on other people for, so that tomorrow, I can try and do that, so that I can eventually get to finishing my attic.

Are you that busy? Do you want to be?

I was talking with a friend earlier this week about how we (especially Christians) are so busy doing and doing… and we just keep pushing harder. It’s for the Lord. It’s for God. He’ll give us the strength.

Now, it says, when we wait on God, we will walk and not grow weary, run and not go faint. And I believe that. But I don’t think he had staffing the worship team for the week when he was saying that. 🙂 We definitely put undue pressure on ourselves.

I have heard from several friends of late the need to cut back and spend more time as a family. That is so cool that they are doing that, and so sad that they have been pushing so hard for so long just to help out their church put on a show, or staff some other part of the machinery.

It’s just weird that we are expected to give till our last ounce of energy is spent, and the focus of that energy is just a church program. Superfluous. Even unnecessary? Yet paramount. And we’re almost made to feel guilty if our “service to our Lord” doesn’t somehow hurt us.

Gotta carry your cross, ya know…

Sorry if I sound cynical… this has little to nothing to do with the financial crushing experienced a day or two ago. (Though it does have some financial ramifications on us…) I am just frustrated at the moment with the Christian machinery at the moment.

On a more fun note… I have a page up for Pre-Ordering the Christmas CD!!! Song clips (NOT mastered… just our studio mix) are up for each song… and you can buy as MANY CDs (or tapes) as you want!!!

I did that as a way to hopefully pay for the CDs so that people can actually get them 🙂 With the credit folks taking away the credit with which I was going to purchase the CDs… we are still looking for $3000 in the next 2 or 3 weeks. We need around $6,000 total, so that amazing gift on Monday night covered the down payment, and we need the remainder for them to ship the product to us.

So, if you were planning on getting one, we’re offering free shipping for pre-orders! 🙂 Get one for everyone you know!!! 🙂 Buy online right now!

But hurry, while supplies last…

🙂

(Just needed to be said)

CLICK HERE to BUY YOURS!!!

basicmm.com/christmas

I noticed today that I operate a couple gears higher than most of my fellow neighbors.

We live in Wayne County, NY. Wayne County is not NYC. It’s not even Rochester. Life here is slow, small-town, everyone-knows-everyone rural USA.

I tend to be doing about 4 things at once minimum… sometimes more like 17. That means I am moving pretty fast. Most people here just look at me kinda funny when they see how quickly I get things done…

But the funniest thing today was not the strange looks. It was that I am even too fast for Wayne County doors. 🙂 I was walking toward the automatic doors at our grocery, and had to stop and wait for them to open each time I approached them!

HA HA!!

Maybe it’s the sugar. I eat a lot of sugar…