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Today I have had $6000 taken from me, along with that, the chance to make at least $60,000 more… and along with that, rejection after rejection in e-mails, and phone calls…

And the mower wouldn’t start.

It has been a completely crushing day, and this is my day-off. My day of relaxing and re-energizing for the week ahead. Not only am I finding it impossible to regenerate (that’s a little Star Trek for ya there…) … I am just devastated.

I know God can do more than I can ask or imagine. I know that he provides for us (read a couple entries below about how he did this past weekend) And, truthfully, from the pit of this day… I do see ahead to where he will provide for us in a way we could not have imagined.

But right now, my stomach is churning, I am angry, and sad, and beat up… and it’s all over money.

God is the owner (and provider) of all the money. So, I will wait for Him to provide. We are expecting the Christmas CD to sell very well this fall, and even hoping that the sales will wipe out not only the debt from making the CD, but our enormous existing debt as well. That is very possible, even likely.

But we need to MAKE the CDs first.

So again, my plan from last week has been crushed by unfortunate timing (is what I was told)… and there is no other foreseeable way that I can make it happen.

I am pressed, but not crushed. Persecuted, but not abandoned. Struck down, but not destroyed. I am blessed beyond the curse, for his promise will endure. That his joy’s gonna be my strength. Though the sorrows may last for the night, his joy comes with the morning…

(Darrell Evans – Trading My Sorrows)

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.

(New Living Translation – 2 Cor 4:8-9)

I’ll keep you updated on what God does through this.