I’ve been thinking about it for a while, following conversations and interactions with friends and acquaintances. I’ve also noticed it even more generally in our culture, the way we all interact with each other. I think it probably supersedes our culture, and is even more of a human nature issue.

But you need to know, I’m different.

I don’t really know why—oh, I’ve spent plenty of time thinking on that subject as well, to no avail… but this is not about how strange I am (at least, not really) it’s more about how I feel about you, in general—all I know is what I am about to tell you.

You don’t owe me anything.

When I do something for you*, I don’t expect you to reciprocate. (In any fashion, and certainly not in like manner. We are all different, after all…) If I make you a meal, I’m not looking for one in return. If I watch your kids while you get a break with your spouse, I am not keeping track of how many times you have done the same for me. If I help move something, or fix something at your house, I’m not expecting any sort of compensation or reciprocal manual labor.

I’m just not.

I think it’s our nature (and our experience) to expect there are strings attached, but I can say with complete honesty and certainty that there are never strings attached to anything I do. I am not trying to get anything from you. I have no expectations. Only, perhaps, that we might enjoy a bit of life together. (And continue to do so.)

I hope it’s OK that sometimes I project that on you. Sometimes it’s rather difficult for me to even think that you might entertain the thought that I have any level of expectations or requirements of you. That there are any obligatory social etiquette codes that I am presuming you will meet.

I’m just not. So relax. Enjoy any invitation I extend to you. Please accept and receive gratefully any gift or service I would offer to you. (But, I won’t be offended if you don’t, even if you don’t say, “Thank you.”)

I just want you to feel worth being loved.

See, we read in the new testament that, “We love because he first loved us.” And, I think in context that meant that we love God because he first loved us. But I think it also means that we can love each other because of how we have been loved. Not because it’s owed us, or in any way merited … other than the fact that we are loveable. We’re worth being loved, being treated kindly, being given gifts of any kind. Just because we are.

And that is how I see you.

I don’t need anything from you, except just to enjoy the no-strings-attached relationship. You can ask me for anything you need, and I’ll try to help you out. (I’ll also say no if I can’t, so don’t think that I’ll feel any obligation to say yes—or be in any way guilted into complying against my better judgement.)

Jen asked me this week how I “serve.” She said it seems like an important thing to a lot of believers, and she, having a notion of what that looks like—and we, not often looking like that notion—wondered what I thought about that, how I lived that out.

I was taken aback slightly as I just don’t ever think about it really. I guess I’m not in the soup kitchens on the weekend, nor going on short term mission trips to help erect or repair buildings. But I don’t feel like I am ever not serving. It’s just who I am. “Consider others better than yourselves,” is a phrase I repeat often to my children, hoping they will—through my further instruction—learn the value of esteeming others more than themselves. It’s what Jesus did, who he was and is.

It’s the heart of a servant.

So, I’m really not (in any way) trumpeting ME … rather I want you to know that if you have any personal interaction with me, I have absolutely no requirements of you. I love you. I can say that because you are a Creation of the Creator and I know how much he loves you (because I know how much he loves me!)

I hope you’ll accept that from me, and enjoy being loved.

Whew! Glad I finally go that off my chest!

See y’all soon!

Related posts:

1. Feeling Loved, and Lovable
2. Love
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Tonight was Ian’s turn.

What was fun and different about tonight is that Ian is getting older. He really is. He’s more of a person, which… feels weird to say. Of course he’s always been a person, and actually, it’s really cool to see the “person” that our one year old daughter is, too. But it’s just a little different with Ian. I think maybe it’s the struggles. They’re just different. He’s learning who he is, too. And he’s tender-hearted, compassionate, and sensitive to begin with, so when he gets swept away in the deluge of needy tiny people each day… well it’s just harder to actually get to learn who you are!

So after a great night of just being together, with no schedule, no demands, and no distractions from my attention, I asked him this:

“Ian, I know you’ve heard me say that I think God is teaching me that the greatest thing we can know is that we are loved, and especially that we are lovable. And since you know that… I just wondered, how can I help you feel that? How can I help you feel loved, and especially lovable?”

What I love is that there was only a slight hesitation and then he very openly told me. That was fantastic. I love the openness that we have engendered in our family!

We talked about what it means to know you are loved, to feel loved, and to feel lovable. They are similar, but different. He had some pretty cool answers, too. First was of course, any time we can do an OK Night he feels loved and lovable! But there was more, and since it was an open and personal conversation … the details will not be shared here.

I will say this: I hope you feel lovable. I’m really not sure how you get there. I can quote some scriptures… “We love because he first loved us,” and, “[adopting us as his children] gave [God] great pleasure,” and, “[God] will rejoice over you with singing,” and plenty more. We know it, but… it doesn’t matter until we know it.

So do you? If not, what is it about you that you don’t think is lovable? What part of you is beyond anyone’s love? We’re all pretty good at being selfish. Some of us are good at loving, really loving, but mostly we’re better at protecting ourselves from real or perceived hurt. And we don’t really live because of that.

“[Jesus] came to give you life, and life to the full.”

“God is love.”

“… and the greatest of [faith, hope and love] is love.”

Love completely transforms us, and even the world we know around us. To be loved. To love. To know we are lovable.

May you know that right now today, and every tomorrow.

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“Yes, I suppose he could,” I agreed. “But he’s not really just… tall. He’s even bigger than that.”

“Yeah,” Kirstie chimed in, “He’s so big that the earth is just a speck to him!”

“Well, that’s right,” I said. “But he’s even so big that he’s just everywhere. There isn’t anywhere you can go that he isn’t. Isn’t that cool?”

They nodded in agreement, and we continued the clean up. After only a few moments of silence—during which the mental gears of the 3 and 5 year olds never stopped—the conversation continued:

“I wonder if God wears clothes.” (I think I may have laughed out loud at that one… at least chuckled.)

“I don’t know,” I admitted, “I guess he could… but he doesn’t really need clothes…”

“Well, if he did, he’d have realllllly big clothes!”

Yep. I guess he would.

Love the way tiny minds think!

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But as I began one day recently, I noticed this long paragraph (which I broke into two, for easier on-screen reading).

“For God, in his wisdom, made it impossible for men to know him by means of their own wisdom. Instead God decided to save those who believe, by means of the “foolish” message we preach. Jews want miracles for proof, and Greeks look for wisdom.

As for us, we proclaim Christ on the cross, a message that is offensive to the Jews and nonsense to the Gentiles; but for those whom God has called, both Jews and Gentiles, this message is Christ, who is the power of God and the wisdom of God. For what seems to be foolishness is wiser than men’s wisdom, and stronger than men’s strength.”

I’ve read these words before, and heard them expounded upon. But for some reason they just presented the simplicity of the good news so clearly to me.

I love that the focus of our relationship with God is not on us. It’s on him. Not in a narcissistic way, as some imagine. God isn’t looking for people to “Become a Fan” on heaven’s Facebook. He wants to know us, and us to live life with and in him, and he makes that possible, not us.

“God made it impossible for men to know him by means of their own wisdom.” We can’t figure out God. We won’t get all the answers. It’s not even about the answers. Read on.

Paul explains that the Jews (his people) wanted God to reveal himself through powerful miracles. They expected God’s Messiah to come, and they expected him to be the King that would rule. They like that God would do big and powerful things for them.

The Greeks (Gentiles) wanted God to be the ultimately wise being. They wanted him to prove he was God by having all the answers.

This is like us. We still want these things from God today. We want him to fix stuff (we want to see his power), or we want to have all the answers. About him, and/or about our life and the world around us. We want to know “truth”—meaning, have black and white facts that we can know as “truth.”

But we—those who united with Jesus—”proclaim Christ on the Cross.”

This is not a doctrine. He’s not saying we need to know what the words propitiatory, salvific, atonement, and other such scholarly sounding verbiage mean. The point is almost the opposite. It’s not something to be figured out. It’s not something to overwhelm by force. It’s weakness, and nonsense.

But it’s Jesus.

this message is Christ, who is the power of God, and the wisdom of God.”

In the end, what we are looking for, God’s power and wisdom (and everything else) is in Jesus. Jesus on the cross. The ultimate (meaning greatest) act of love, and the ultimate (meaning final) act of reconciliation of our relationship with our Father God.

“…by him [Jesus] we are put right with God, we are God’s holy people, and are set free.”

I truly believe that the good news (the “Gospel”) the message that Jesus lived and taught and asked his friends to share with everyone they know is this: Jesus. He is the Life, the Way, the Truth … you can’t miss that in pretty much every book of Scripture. Jesus is life.

I happened upon an old blog post today. It’s included in my book Life In The Rearview Mirror. It is titled Knowledge. It’s fun to look back a few years and see that God was just beginning to open my eyes a bit to the reality that I might not know everything.

And it continues today. Yet somehow, as he helps me realize that truth, the simpler truth that all of the stuff we try to know about him (men’s wisdom) is really not that important… life becomes clearer. Not that I have all the answers in life. But perhaps I know the most important one?

The message is Christ. By him we are put right with God, we are his holy people, and we are set free.

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It’s not just that our entire calendar is based roughly on the year of his birth some two thousand years ago now. (Though that’s pretty significant.) It’s not just that there are people all over the entire world who know his name and use it today both to invoke blessing and as a curse word. (Do you know anyone else who has reached such a status?)

It’s not the statues, paintings, songs, building, even entire religions that bear his name that reveal his full significance.

We celebrate the birth of this man every year on December 25th because he is the visible likeness of the invisible God.

Listen to how Paul describes him at the beginning of his letter to the Colossian Christians:

Christ is the visible likeness of the invisible God. He is the firstborn son, superior to all created things. For by him, God created all things in heaven and on earth, the seen and unseen things, including spiritual powers, lords, rulers, and authorities. God created the whole universe through him and for him. He existed before all things, and in union with him all things have their proper place.

Colossians 1:15-17

The book of Hebrews also calls Jesus God’s final and perfect revelation. (Read Hebrews chapter one for more.) In John chapter one it refers to him as the Word (logos) and talks of how all was made through him.

That’s fairly significant.

Let’s read on in Colossians.

He is the head of his body, the church; he is the source of the body’s life; he is the firstborn son who was rasied from death, in order that he alone might have the first place in all things.

Colossians 1:18

I think we who call ourselves Christians really believe and want to live this out. We want Jesus—not us—to sit on the throne of our hearts. He is the center of all we are and do. He is supreme in all things.

What I see though, suggests otherwise.

I think that—like I referenced a bit at the top—one of our biggest problems is how much we over-signify Jesus, if that were possible. Obviously, that is not really possible, as the descriptions of him from these books would suggest. However, as we further “deify” and remove him from the intimate relationship he chose to have with us, passing through a woman’s birth canal just as all the rest of us have, and living through the subsequent mess that our world and our lives can be … he also experienced all of the joys he created us to know and live. God came to be one of us, to be with us; “Emmanuel.”

So it’s less about what wise, learned people say about him… it’s certainly not about all of the traditions, rituals, ceremonies, and other various observances we have amassed along the way. Those are fine, but the core of the entire universe is Jesus. Just him.

For it was by God’s own decision that the son has in himself the full nature of God. Through the son, then, God decided to bring the whole universe back to himself. God made peace through his son’s death on the cross, and so brought back to himself all things, both on earth and in heaven.

Colossians 1:19-20

The cross is not just about death. The cross is about life, and peace. Reconciliation. Redemption. (Check out Romans chapter five. Fantastic stuff about what God did through the cross.)

When we reduce the Good News that Jesus came to deliver in person to a set of rules to obey, and a code of ethics, we are totally missing the point. JESUS is the point. We need to watch what he does, hear what he says, follow where he leads. We need him.

[Jesus said,] “And this is eternal life: for men to know you, the only true God, and to know Jesus Christ, whom you sent.”

John 17:3

This Christmas, don’t just remember that “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” … get to know him. He is the reason for everything. Knowing him is eternal life. It really, truly is all about him.

Now that’s significant!

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1. When Jesus Is Powerless?
2. Making God In Our Own Image
3. Jesus Is Staying at MY House!

We read the part about the angel appearing to the guys who were taking care of sheep in the middle of the night. And then how there were lots more angels with that one angel all of a sudden, and they were singing! (Or shouting?)

Luke 2:8-15
That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”

Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying,
“Glory to God in highest heaven,
and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”

When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

After reading that, and talking about the craziness of an angel just appearing out of nowhere, and then a million more showing up and chanting in unison, kind of like a pep rally from heaven. The contrast I was pointing out was how that was shockingly weird compared to the very ordinary entry of God into his created world. Born just like the rest of us. Spent his first night in a barn (not like most of the rest of us). Fairly ordinary.

To ensure that it wasn’t only ordinary, God chose to let some (ordinary) folks in on it. In a super-incredible way.

As we were talking about those angels and the super-incredibleness, Ian said, “How far away do you think people could see that? Was it only the shepherds who saw it?”

“Good question!” I replied. It was! I wonder if God chose to reveal the news only to those men right there. You’d think that “vast hosts of … armies” and the”radiance of the Lord’s glory” might be somewhat conspicuous. But I wonder…

Ian’s question reminded me of a story from the prophet Elisha’s life. I couldn’t remember exactly, so I told them I’d look it up and we’d read it together. It was related in that an army of angels was all of a sudden revealed to one person (and in position for battle) when before they had been unseen. (Perhaps like the angels the night Jesus was born?)

The story is from 2 Kings, and is fascinating.

2 Kings 6:8-23
When the king of Aram was at war with Israel, he would confer with his officers and say, “We will mobilize our forces at such and such a place.”

But immediately Elisha, the man of God, would warn the king of Israel, “Do not go near that place, for the Arameans are planning to mobilize their troops there.” So the king of Israel would send word to the place indicated by the man of God. Time and again Elisha warned the king, so that he would be on the alert there.

The king of Aram became very upset over this. He called his officers together and demanded, “Which of you is the traitor? Who has been informing the king of Israel of my plans?”

“It’s not us, my lord the king,” one of the officers replied. “Elisha, the prophet in Israel, tells the king of Israel even the words you speak in the privacy of your bedroom!”

“Go and find out where he is,” the king commanded, “so I can send troops to seize him.”

And the report came back: “Elisha is at Dothan.” So one night the king of Aram sent a great army with many chariots and horses to surround the city.

When the servant of the man of God got up early the next morning and went outside, there were troops, horses, and chariots everywhere. “Oh, sir, what will we do now?” the young man cried to Elisha.

“Don’t be afraid!” Elisha told him. “For there are more on our side than on theirs!” Then Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes and let him see!” The Lord opened the young man’s eyes, and when he looked up, he saw that the hillside around Elisha was filled with horses and chariots of fire.

As the Aramean army advanced toward him, Elisha prayed, “O Lord, please make them blind.” So the Lord struck them with blindness as Elisha had asked.

Then Elisha went out and told them, “You have come the wrong way! This isn’t the right city! Follow me, and I will take you to the man you are looking for.” And he led them to the city of Samaria.

As soon as they had entered Samaria, Elisha prayed, “O Lord, now open their eyes and let them see.” So the Lord opened their eyes, and they discovered that they were in the middle of Samaria.

When the king of Israel saw them, he shouted to Elisha, “My father, should I kill them? Should I kill them?”

“Of course not!” Elisha replied. “Do we kill prisoners of war? Give them food and drink and send them home again to their master.”

So the king made a great feast for them and then sent them home to their master. After that, the Aramean raiders stayed away from the land of Israel.

There is so much to this story! I wish that I currently had time to share my thoughts on this one, but I’ll stick to the link to the first story for now…

The armies of heaven (as they were described in Luke) were apparently poised to assist Elisha, though no one could see them. And, when Elisha prayed that the servant could see them, my guess is that only the servant could then see them (along with Elisha). The rest of the story is fascinating, too, with some Jedi mind tricks played on the army sent to capture Elisha. Who knew 2 Kings was the source of George Lucas’ inspiration?

Also, it is interesting to note the description of this unseen army. “Horses and chariots of fire” sound rather menacing! If these are the same “armies of heaven” that are in Luke’s story, no wonder people are always afraid when they see these guys!

I’m not sure if more than the sheep herders were able to see the messengers that night. Perhaps they were the only ones to see the spectacular first christmas light show. That would fit God’s apparent M.O. He slipped in, nearly unnoticed. And it continued for many years to come. Even when he was working miracles, there were times (it seems) when his students forgot who he was, and he was—in a way—God, unnoticed.

There is something so ordinary about him. It’s fun to read the Christmas story and see how he came to be one of us. He is not like us, but he chose to be. God came to live with us. The unseen became seen.

Incredible.

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But happy are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the LORD their God.
Psalms 146:5 (NLT)

At our home school group yesterday, a friend of ours spoke of the people he had met and is currently helping in Sierra Leone, one of whom is a 10-year-old boy named Joseph that he and his wife (rather miraculously) financially support.

When speaking of that boy and his amazing smile, he reminded the group of 9 and 10 year olds in the room of the verse quoted at the top of this post from Psalm 146. While some translations use the word “blessed” in place of the word happy, the meaning of the word in the original language is more akin to our words for “happy”. The happiness that he saw in the faces of the people there—including and especially in the face of Joseph—is definitely a result of where their help and hope comes from.

You may have favorable circumstances in life at the moment. You may not. Circumstances can and do—and will—change. They just will. But God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He doesn’t change. If at our core, He is our source of life, help, hope… our bread of life and living water … then happy will we be.

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She told me about it when they got home, and kept bringing it up. So we got to chat about the strange paradox of the joy of heaven and the sorrow of death, the reality of where our “home” is and the beauty of living in a broken world that Jesus walks through with us. (Good stuff about that paradox in 2 Corinthians 5.)

It was so interesting to see the seriousness in her face as we talked about these things. As she talked about a little girl dying. As we thought ahead to the time when both of us will go home to heaven, eventually. She said, “But you’ll always be my Dad. Even when you’re a Grandpa, you’ll be my Dad.” She added later, “And I’ll always be 5, or 6, or 7.” I assured her that she would grow up, and that was a good thing.

And I also hugged her and assured her that I’ll always be her Dad.

Even our three year old got in on the serious discussions, relaying to me the story of Maria Chapman, how she had died and gone home to heaven. It was pretty interesting how the new album we were listening to sparked many thoughts and discussions throughout the day. And why not? It is a strange part of life. Death, seeming like an end from behind this door, but our confidence that it is a beginning … happy and sad all at once. How can that be?

Who knows what the future holds. On the album, Beauty Will Rise, the song “February 20th” is about that day in 2008 when Maria was asking about heaven, and said she wanted to go there. A line from the song says, “But we could never have imagined she’d be going there so soon.” We never know. All we know is that Jesus said he would never leave us, and that when we die here, we will be with him. For real.

For now, the events of the last day or so have made me notice when my kids need me. I may be doing something, feeling busy… but I can do that later.

How special each of my kids are to me. How special Jen is to me. That is what matters. Now, and forever.

Thanks Steven, for the reminder.

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As with pretty much every release of his, we purchased Steven Curtis Chapman‘s latest album, Beauty Will Rise, the day that it was first available to do so. We love his music, so there was no question we would purchase it at some point, but this project was different.

On May 21st, 2008, the Chapmans lost their then 5-year-old daughter, Maria in an accident on their own property. Horribly sad event, compounded by the fact that her brother was driving the car that took her life. (I wrote about it here the day after it happened.) An unthinkable series of events that obviously changed their lives forever.

Now a year and a half later, the title song of this collection says it all: Beauty will rise. (From Isaiah 61:3.)

From his blog, and his Facebook fan page, Steven has been sharing a lot of the backstory of the songs and the album. The songs (as always) do a good job of telling the story themselves.

Even if you have never experienced a similar tragedy, I am almost certain that everyone has wondered “where were you God?” on an occasion or two… or more. These songs are real, “raw” (is what Steven called them), honest … and incredibly hopeful. I think every comment or review I’ve seen has mentioned tears flowing when listening to the songs for the first time. It’s hard not to, yet somehow, they are hopeful tears.

I think that is what God does best. He is with us through the hardest stuff. And somehow brings greatness—beauty—from the ruin—the ashes.

He knows the way to wherever you are,
He knows the way to the depths of your heart.
He knows the way ’cause he’s already been where you’re going.
Jesus will meet you there.

I really like the third line of that chorus (from the song Jesus Will Meet You There) because it reminds me of the bigger picture perspective. No matter what happens, we will continue to move forward, and Jesus knows where we’re going. And he’ll bring and meet us there.

Nothing will bring back their daughter, but they have the hope that one day they will see her again. (Another great song from the album, “See”.) Meanwhile, they know Jesus is going with them through the loss—which Steven likened to an amputation, and coping with that, adjusting to that as being how they are “healing”.

If you have $10 or so… my opinion is, it couldn’t be more well spent.

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Purchase @ iTunes
Song (at Amazon) | Album

Come As You Are
Today’s song – the final song in this 7-day celebration of the 7-year anniversary of the album – is the title track, Come As You Are. If you have been following along all week, you may see the reason we chose this song as the title song for the album. Most of the 13 tracks on it remind us of God’s unending grace and love for us. How he invites us to Come As (we) Are, not who we will be. It’s truly the “good news” that Jesus brought, and we still live in today.

I wrote the song for both piano and guitar, but perhaps mainly piano. The song is sung from the voice of God, until the middle section where we sing back to him “I am not worthy of the cross! I am not worthy of your love!” How can we, who are so often selfish and so often just messed up … how can we be the object of his affection? But, “as dearly loved children” … we are. And the middle section resolves back to our Father singing to us, “Come as you are, I want to be – so near to your heart just call on me. I will never desert you, in my arms I will shield you from all harm… come as you are.”

LISTEN HERE (for RSS feed only) | lyrics @ basicmm.com

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