Foreigners

I've been thinking about "home" a little bit recently. We were visiting family this weekend who live about an hour and a half from our home. I was thinking about how if we lived there, it wouldn't ever quite feel like home. At least, to me. It would feel like we were always visiting. Never home.

A friend of ours is a native of Argentina, but also a citizen of Italy (and lived there for several years) and now resides here in New York. (Married to a US citizen.) So she has many homes, and in a way, often feels like she's "not home".

Home is interesting. It's definitely a location, but it's also a state of mind. The Bible says we who follow Jesus are foreigners. That we are never quite home. We read about the first disciples of Jesus today (the boys and I) who left everything at Jesus' simple invitation to, "Come follow me." He had no home, they had no home. They were travelers. Foreigners. Strangers.

Jen & I have also noticed recently how different we are. We are not like most of the people we know. Our priorities, what we want our family to live like, be like, look like. We're different. We feel, quite often, like foreigners.

So, how do you endure that? I guess the way you do is to know that no matter where we are in this life we are always foreigners. We are never home. We belong somewhere else, and until we leave this life or Jesus comes back for us, we'll always feel a little homesick.

With all the burdens of this foreign place that I am bearing lately, I am definitely "longing for home". For peace. Rest. But, that time has not come yet.

For now, I enjoy the "home" that God has given me. My beautiful wife, and five amazing kids. And our little yellow house. :-) Oh that life were only that simple.

Perhaps it can be.

RE: Blogging

What I have noticed over my five years of blogging is that blogging is very much about the moment. If I try to get to something later, maybe even get a few paragraphs into a draft version here, it never happens. Or, if it could, it doesn't seem relevant anymore. (To either reader or writer.)

That's one reason why this blog has been so silent lately. It's not that there are not things to comment on, or discuss... it's just that there is never enough time to sit down and post something "in the moment". I really thought there would be more here as I am taking several days off in a row, but there has not been. My days used to freer somehow, and I was already sitting at my computer... so posting to the blog in a sort of "stream of consciousness" way was very natural. Not so any more!

I have thoughts on the whole political race. Actually, much of what I think of senator Obama remains true. Read here and here if you are interested. (Posts from March and April of this year.) I have been working on our Buffalo Bills Show. Super fun stuff going on there! And I would love to share more stories from our family... always learn a lot from interaction with my kids!

I could also tell you about the crazy environmental "humans are bad" speech we got at the aquarium yesterday during the sea lion show...

But... at least... not right now.

So, from experience... never. You'll have to hear that one from me in person. :-)

The blog will roll on. Life will shift again, and there will be moments to jump into the e-stream of consciousness. There are still plenty of thoughts from Greg's Head... but the "moments" to share them have been fewer and much farther between!

Stay tuned...

A Lesson From Monopoly

It's probably not even accurate, but tonight while I was playing a game of Monopoly with my nine-year-old son, Ian, I couldn't help but notice how the game paralleled life - and how I did not like that.

First off, it was just a really fun night. We call them OK Nights. (One Kid Nights.) It's been Ian's turn for a while, but as my prolonged silences here at GregsHead.net demonstrate, there is not much time for, well, anything these days. Not much time, and not much money. Which factored into the decision to do Ian's OK Night in our basement. (That, and the huge thunderstorms that were wreaking havoc on our entire area tonight...) It all worked out, as Ian loves the game Monopoly (and so do I!) and we shared a nice pot of tea while we played together.

Ian even learned how to find 10% of something tonight. Bonus home school lesson!

But my lesson was in the crazy notion that to make money you have to have money. It's true in life, and in Monopoly, and vice versa.

Poor Ian had me on the ropes. He had Boardwalk and Park Place with 3 houses on each. I managed to find my piece on Boardwalk shortly following his new construction project, and owed him $1400! That's a lot for Monopoly! I had to mortgage several properties, and spend all my cash, but I managed to stay in the game. A few lucky rolls, and I had enough cash to stick around long enough for Ian to land on one of my expensive properties. But somehow, that was his undoing.

He also stuck around for a while, but no matter what we tried to do, he just couldn't dig out of the hole that the first big hotel stay got him into. The problem started to become that in order to pay his debts, he had to get rid of all the stuff that could make him money. So in essence, he was getting rid of any chance he had to win, even though he was still in the game.

I, on the other hand, kept collecting Ian's money... and then, since my cash stash was growing larger, I invested in more houses. I even bought a mortgaged monopoly from Ian... paid the bank, built houses, and cashed in again on Ian. It was too easy. As I cruised effortlessly around the board (because of my cushy abundance of wealth) Ian fretted every roll of the dice.

It was so crazy to see how it really does "take money to make money." I really couldn't believe it. But it was true. Somehow, but a bit of strategy, and admittedly, a bit of luck, I managed to make the first amount of money, and then from there wise investing made the money earn money for me.

Right now my problem seems to be what Ian's problem was. Debt and other ongoing expenses keep me in a position of not having any vehicles to earn income. If I do, it seems to be just a little, and then it goes right back out to someone else. That's a frustrating place to be.

So, I have not figured out in the real world how to take the next step to get just enough money to start making money from having money... but maybe some day.

Perhaps I should just play a few more games of Monopoly with Ian? :-)

Energized

I got back just a while ago from my first shift at the Apple store. I was really looking forward to it, wondering just how it would actually play out. I know Macs, for sure, but I didn't really know how thing go at the store. I knew I was going to tag along with a more experienced Apple Specialist (that's what I am doing also) so I figured it would just be fun.

What happened was great, but very unexpected.

When I got there, it was obvious that it had been pretty busy. I wasn't quite sure what to do, but found the manager on duty and they tried to pair me up with someone... but there was no one to be found. They finally decided on someone, but he was on break. After lots of indecision, I offered (if they were OK with it) to just jump in, with no training. :-) The person who was assigning me my duties confirmed that with me, and then, in a bit of desperation perhaps, said, "OK! Get out there!"

I headed into the sea of people and found a mom and daughter standing by the laptops whose body language suggested they were not certain what to do next. I approached them and introduced myself, and explained that even though this was my very first shift, I would try to help them best I could. And help I did. After fifteen minutes or so, and explaining all the great stuff Apple has to offer (that applied to them) they were ready to make their purchase! I really couldn't believe how fun (and easy?) it was!

From then on, it never stopped. Ever. It was 9:01 when I actually did not see anyone who looked like they would like assistance. 5:30-9:00 ... straight. Every minute was spent talking to someone about Macs, and selling lots of stuff! It was fun and crazy! (They assured me that it's not usually that busy!) :-)

And do you know what I did when there was no customer to assist? I found some fellow employees to talk to. I asked one of the other "new hires" how she liked her second shift. I spoke with a few of the other Specialists. I met one of the Creatives (the guys who train people in using their Macs) and talked with him at length about Macs and their software.

By the time all was done, it was just after 11pm that I was getting in the van and heading home.

I called Jen. I couldn't wait to. I had wanted to. We have a cell phone that is pay as you go, and the minutes are super low right now, so I only told her a few quick things, and then said we'd get to chat more when I got home. And I couldn't wait to do that. But then, as I was going home a different way, I thought of our very good friends (one of whom is in Mexico right now!) and I decided to call the one who is not in Mexico to see how all of that was going. (I had forgotten that normal people don't feel like it's 5pm at 11pm....) Again, with limited cell minutes, we only spoke for 2-3 minutes, but here's my point.

I am energized by being with people. I literally can not get enough.

When I got home, I told Jen some stories from my first shift, and I listened to her stories of what she and the kids did. We chatted about various things, and she finally asked, "Aren't you hungry?"

I thought about it and then said, "No. I'm really not." And kinda chuckled about it. I hadn't eaten since lunch (12:30) so... I should have been hungry.... but... I really wasn't.

The only thing I could figure was that being with people - and helping them learn about Macs - energized me. To the point that I didn't even notice or feel hunger? I didn't even need food!

And even though I needed to take a shower from the day, I really didn't want to. The only thing I could tell Jen was that it seemed, "boring" ... that's not a word I use, so that was weird. But I think I figured out that all I wanted to do was stay with Jen, and keep enjoying the interaction. I really love interaction with other people. A lot. Like, I never really want a time where there isn't interaction. Maybe I do, but it's very rare. (You could argue that me writing this blog is a form of "interaction" as well...)

So, it's most definitely settled. I am a people person to my core, and that is most certainly what I need to be doing with my time. I need to be with people. We have seven living in this house, so I have that covered, but it really puzzles me why God has given me office work to do. Granted I do get to work with people on some level, but mainly I am working by myself at my desk most of my days.

After tonight, I am just reminded that it is nice that God gives me relatively short chapters. Hopefully the next one more directly involves interaction with people. :-)

Content

The past three weeks - maybe four - have been mostly a blur. I've been sleeping even less than normal, and been working much more than normal ... and yet, there is a strange contentment like I have not recently known.

For quite sometime, financial pressures have been slowly bearing down on us, threatening to completely crush us. Well, at one point early this month, it seemed they would. We were at the end, literally, of every financial rope. We really didn't know what to do.

So, I decided to try this online package that was only $499.95 that promised I could be making $600,000.00/week in just three short steps! The first week, my check was only $4537.84, but the second week, it tripled to $12,450.32! Now I'm getting checks for over $50,000/week!!! It worked for me, and I can share all my secrets with you in my online resource, "Everything I know about making money online, and why it will work for you!" - at a discounted rate for all GregsHead.net readers - only $399.95!!! So act now!

No. I didn't do that. But I was tempted to... :-)

See, what really happened was I just let go. I already knew that stuff is just stuff, and if we even lost all of it, we'd still be OK. Life would go on. It would be different, but it would go on. I had been holding on so tight that when the money didn't come in, and "God didn't provide" I would just borrow more money (usually with credit cards) to pay for what we obviously "needed."

What I have come to learn (really, again) is that God gives us what we need. And if we don't have what we "need", then we don't need it. (Note: I want to say "probably don't need it" there, but I am really learning that I don't need the probably!) The key to the whole things is contentment. Content with what we have, and trusting that God will provide our "daily bread."

And he has.

Seriously, since we decided to just live on what we have - and have not used any credit cards in any way since then, probably four weeks - we have had everything we needed. I have been working many more hours (because I have always had the work, but never had the time to do it... hoping this extra work time is just to dig out of the hole we are currently in!) and so that has helped, but beyond that, there has been the generosity of some friends, as well as funny little moments along the way.

Like this one:

Last Monday, after paying some bills, buying some food... we literally had just a few dollars left. Jen's parents had just gotten home from a three-week vacation tour, and were coming to see the grandkids and give us a chance to go out for our summer anniversary (the day we decided to get married, July 16). I really, really wanted to take Jen to Red Robin as she has been wanting to do that for a very long time, but the cost was definitely prohibitive! So, with no money, we just weren't going to be able to do it. Unless... God wanted to give that to us. So, Jen asked him.

Not too long after Jen asked our Dad for enough money to go to Red Robin that night, I got an IM from a friend who I do some web work for... he needed a hosting account, ASAP. :-) So, I told him what it would cost, sent him the invoice, and he paid right away (and he paid a ridiculous bonus amount as well!) I told Jen, and she told me excitedly, "I asked God to do that!!"

How awesome is that? :-)

So, the point is not "don't use credit cards, just ask God for money for fancy date-night cuisine." The point is that we have found such contentment living on what we have. We are still in a pretty big financial hole, but God keeps providing, and giving us ideas I think, and we are listening and happily enjoying what God gives us - rather than going ahead of him, as I think we were before, to things he had not yet given us. Even things like food, gas, etc. Now if we don't have the cash, we don't get it.

And we have not been wanting. (Which is partially due to God's provision, and partially due to our contentment. Both working together.)

He really does love us, and take care of us. We know that, and we are getting to see it even closer and more clearly every day now. Honestly, though I don't like the financial pressure of where we are, and can't wait to pay off this debt, I hope that we will always be able to see so clearly how God provides - daily - for exactly what we need.

It's a fantastic place to be!

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."
Matt 6:34 (MSG)

Time

My grandpa turned 85 years old on Sunday. I called and got to chat with him just a little. Had a fun birthday planned with his family (my mom & dad, aunt & uncle, and a couple others) and told me he doesn't think 85 is that old.

But it is.

It's odd, but all I've been thinking when I think about him, or see the photos my dad sent along from the party is that his time here with us is probably pretty short. I know, it could be 10 or 15 years, which really is a good long time to enjoy, but it's a pretty short time, too.

Life passes too quickly.

Today is the 11th anniversary of the day that Jen and I chose to marry. Eleven years. That's a pretty long time. Today is also the 14th wedding anniversary of some friends of ours. That's a long time. My dad is celebrating his 40th high school reunion this year. A friend celebrated his 50th not long ago. Jen's parents celebrated 50 years of marriage a couple weeks ago.

Time passes. It just keeps moving on. And for some reason I am noticing that right now.

I am noticing that Grandpa may not be around much longer, and that makes me want to spend more time with him. I am noticing that Ian is not a little boy anymore. He's going to turn 10 in a few months. He's getting older, and experiencing life as Ian Campbell, not just our child. And that makes me want to spend more time with him.

What I am noticing - and have learned in my 33 years of life - is that spending time with people is the most important thing. I have learned also that all things in life must be balanced, but when all is finished, the most important thing is to just love and be loved. (As is evidenced by my just wanting to spend time with the people who are getting older faster than I want them to.)

The hope of those of us who live with Jesus is that the "end" that we are all rushing toward is not really an end at all, but a beginning. That life only changes - and for the better - when we reach the threshold between this life and the next. Grandpa has been a rough character at many times in my life, but he's my grandpa, and I love him, and sometimes I imagine what it will be like when we both - in our new bodies and complete selves - can, along with the other Redeemed, enjoy the eternal "now" of full life with Jesus. (Now we see darkly...)

I can't know what happens after we die. The Bible is full of hopeful language of resurrection and paradise and life with no more badness. And life with people we love here. No more curse, no more sin, no more death. Seems a good place to be.

We're not there yet, but the older I get, the faster it seems we're headed there.

Who knows, maybe we'll be there sooner than I think? :-)

Enjoy the time you have with those who are around you. Call up your grandpa and tell him you love him. Spend time with your son, or dad, or mom, or daughter, or spouse...

Today's as good a time to do that.

What I Know Right Now

Recently I have been trying to figure out what it is that I like to do. I have plenty to do, but in trying to simplify I have been taking inventory of what I both like to do, and do well.

Here's what I have so far:

• I love people. I am a people person through and through.
  
• Hosting. Probably goes along with the above, but I love having people at my house, and I love serving them.
  
• Food. I love to cook/bake, and from every response I've ever gotten from others, it would seem I'm quite good at it.
  
• Writing. Really, I love to write. I think and communicate best through writing. In general, I just love words.

I'm pretty good at the design work that I do. And I'm pretty helpful to people re: computer stuff. I can also sing and play the guitar/piano pretty well. There's some more, but that list seems to be pretty accurate.

So... a restaurant? Coffee house? Bed & Breakfast? Maybe just somehow become independently wealthy so that I can do all those things above just for fun?

... that would be cool...

This post is mostly for me, just to look back on and see what I was thinking in June of 2008. But, if you have any thoughts... you know what to do.

The Intricacy Of Us

I recently watched a Discovery Channel show titled 2057: Future Car or something like that. It's more than just about the cars of the future. Really it's about life 50 years from now. Projected by scientists and theorists who feel they are on the current cutting edge of technology and such sciences.

A good portion of the show was both fascinating and scary. It relates to the post below actually. The vision the makers of this show have of the future is a very, very "connected" future. Every aspect of life is interconnected to the others via a centralized network. Everything is known about everyone. The idea is that this makes life much safer, better, but... really? I think not. Maybe that helped me want to "disconnect" (see the previous entry).

Cars that automatically correct errors of human drivers, clothes that report your vitals to doctors every three minutes or so, cameras and GPS systems tracking everyone everywhere. Yikes.

Scariness aside, one segment that caught my attention was the part about robots. The documentary makers made no excuses in saying that robots are not ready for everyday use just yet. They are really hard to make work. There has been great progress, but it has been very slow-going, and very difficult. The interesting part to me was when they were trying to just get a humanoid robot to walk, the creators said, "It's incredible how sophisticated the human body is, even just the balance it takes to take a step."

How incredible we are! All these brilliant minds have spent years trying to make a machine that can do what a two year old can do! Amazing. It was fun to watch. I don't doubt that we will progress and make something that can mimic human life more and more... but God has already done that! Holy cow. He's just amazing, and I am blown away right now at his design, creativity, and his handiwork in general.

To think that there is no Designer, seems to me you are either just not seeing what I am seeing, or denying it, or maybe just stubborn. And I'm just talking about the intricacies of the human body and how it all works together. I don't know the complete process of how we came into being, but I have no doubt just from what I have observed that we have quite intricately & skillfully been designed.

I'm not trying to start any arguments here, but as always comments/thoughts are welcome. It was just another moment today when I thought, "How can anyone think this is a sequence of events begun by random chance?" I think some might credit a universal "Life Force" rather than a being (God), but it seems the prevailing scientific thought precludes the possibility of a Designer... and that just seems so crazy to me.

I love that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are just amazing.

Too Much

The word of the day in the Campbell home is "busy." It's been the word for many days, many weeks, and even many months. We know some of the causes (one being that we have five children, one of whom is an infant) but we just keep scratching our heads when we look at what life is now, and think about what it used to be. How did we get here?

I left the house this morning to take a quick trip to the library to return a DVD. My plan was to drive, but when I stepped out the door, I realized I had left my keys inside. I debated for a few moments whether to go and retrieve them, or to just go for the walk to the library I had originally wanted to take. (I had reasoned that feeling short for time, it would be better to just drive.) I eventually decided to just walk, as the circumstances seemed to dictate.

On my walk (which was begun at a hurried pace) I was greeted by our 4-year-old neighbor girl from her window where she was eating breakfast. I said hello with a smile, but kept on going. As I turned the corner, I was greeted by several more people just enjoying a nice morning sit on their porches. I began thinking, "Man... I wish I could do that..."

As I got to the library, I saw that they have placed a couple rocking chairs on the front porch. All I wanted to do when I saw them was sit in them with a nice book, and maybe a cold iced tea. Don't you? Why is there no time to just sit, relax, and enjoy some quiet time? Is it just me?

I don't think that it is.

These thoughts have been bothering me for a good long while now. We continue to feel rushed almost every day of our lives. Whether it's just taking care of the kids, or me trying to balance work for around fifty different clients, or any of the various other endeavors I have undertaken (my Buffalo Bills website, or this blog, among others)... there's always something to do. It can even be fun, relaxing stuff like home projects, just playing games, and/or visiting with friends and family, etc.

There's just always a lot to do.

We have been pretty social of late. Whether visiting friends or family locally, or semi-locally (we have family about 90 minutes away) or even chatting with friends online or over Facebook, there are plenty of people to keep in touch with. It's amazing because, no matter how many people we get to spend time with, there are three more we didn't get to. So crazy!

When I saw the rocking chairs today, I just wanted to go back to a time when there was no internet. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love the internet. I think it's just incredible. Instant information and communication right in your home. Really incredible. But I harken back to the days when the information you got was by word of mouth (so it traveled a bit slower) and the communication you had was with people within walking distance, or perhaps a horse-back ride's distance. Much simpler times.

I think I am longing for that. For simplicity. Are you? Do you feel like you are stretched incredibly thin? We do not have a cell phone (just an emergency one) because we don't really want to be accessible everywhere we are. But almost everyone else is. You can reach them anytime, anywhere. They are always "connected." If not by regular phone calls, then by text messaging over the phone. The iPhone sure looks like a fun toy to me - seriously, amazing device - but I am not certain I want to be "connected" everywhere I go...

I scan the bookshelves in my house and just long for a free afternoon to sit and read and soak in and think along with other thinkers. I long to just relax and enjoy a quiet read. I long to just sit, really. Not always be doing. I am always doing. Even if it's just fun.

So where does that bring me to? I haven't officially decided yet, but I think I might be approaching a cease and desist of some sort. Temporary, as far as I can tell now, but still quite complete. Complete meaning, whatever I choose to cease and desist, I really will.

It could be any number of things. Facebook. Instant Messaging. Reading blogs. Reading other websites. Watching DVDs. Playing vintage video games. Playing Facebook word games. :-) Perhaps even blogging. (Though, probably not. Blogging is usually a great and necessary outlet for me when I finally get a chance to "take in" again.) I might even set aside a certain time of the day to read/reply to emails. That takes up a lot of time, too. I get emails every five minutes or so. And I usually read them right away. Whatever it is, I think I might start the C & D as early as Monday.

Should be an interesting experiment.

Would love to hear from anyone reading this who feels the same way. Are we too connected? Too much to do. Too many possibilities, informationally, entertainment-wise, relationally, etc? Or, am I overreacting, and perhaps a relic from a time long gone? Your thoughts are invited. Post below.

This weekend, I will be pondering all of this very much.

Hopefully not too much. ;-)

[NOTE: Further proof that I am too busy? I began this post at 9:22 this morning. Distraction after distraction has kept me from finishing it. Argh.]

A-Social, or Hyper-Social?

I have been spending a lot of time using Facebook of late.

Whether just playing word games with friends, or making use of their live, instant message chat feature, or just keeping in touch with friends however possible - I've been there.

I am a people person (as I have said before) and so it would make sense to find me at a "people" site. But is connecting with people on Facebook really a social activity?

We were talking with our friends about social networking sites, and how in a strange way they are almost a-social. It's almost a way to keep from seeing people, and really interacting with them. By leaving a message here or there, or even using the real-time chat, some may consider that they are enjoying a relationship with another human being, and in a way they may be, but in reality, they are staying home and spending time on the computer instead of being with people.

My take on that was that I use Facebook to stay in touch with people I couldn't otherwise, and to just add to the other communication I have with friends who are local. It's another way to communicate.

What I noticed recently was that my time is spent very differently these days. I don't do a lot of things I used to do. I was talking with Jen about that... what has changed? And the only thing I could figure was Facebook. I've been using it a lot, and that corresponds with the time I have not been doing other fun stuff I used to do. And that's been fantastic. I have totally enjoyed keeping in touch with people I wouldn't otherwise have been able to talk to.

And that's what I think Facebook does for me. It actually is too social. :-) Maybe instead of a-social, Facebook is really hyper-social? You see, maybe we were only meant to relate to the people we could actually visit with in a given day? But now with electronic means of connecting - and Facebook makes that even easier! - I can have daily conversations with many folks I have met along the way in life.

That can fill up your time!

So, we're feeling a bit busy lately, and maybe that is why. We're hyper-social! Well, at least I am.

I may try a week or so without Facebook soon, and see what happens to my time. Could be an interesting experience.

But then, would that be a-social, or even anti-social? Would definitely be some sorta "social". :-)

Hit-N-RunShawn Lynch

Now, I'm not one to make light of others' misfortunes (usually) but I have to share a funny line regarding Bills RB Marshawn Lynch and his alleged involvement in a recent hit-and-run accident resulting in a minor injury of a pedestrian:

"All his life, he was taught to hit people and keep running. Now it gets him into trouble."

Thanks, Chi. :-)

Don't I Know You From Somewhere?

I was noticing something quite strange last night...

At the boys baseball games last night, we met some friends of our friends last night, and that got me to thinking. They are friends with several of our good friends (we regularly hear their names in conversation), and so we were talking with them about how we all knew each other. Some kinda fun/random circumstances brought everyone together. Very cool. I'm certain that God was wisely directing all of that. (Or at least, none of it surprised him) :-)

When we started thinking about it, I noticed that most (maybe all?) of the people we spend time with (not just "know") are not people we met through any "institutional church" structure. That actually really shocked me.

One of the things that I do occasionally wonder about with us not attending weekend services anywhere is just how that keeps us "off the radar". Even though I find public gatherings quite lacking for any real connecting with people... it is at least a place to see them, and be seen. And I have always also had this (apparently false) notion that most of the people we hang out with we met through "going to church" together.

I guess I was wrong.

Does that mean that we just hang out with the bottom feeding scum who "claim" to follow Jesus but won't give up a couple measly hours on a Sunday morning to be with other believers? Perhaps. :-) But, I don't think so. A lot of the people we spend time with - speaking of believers - are part of weekend services and more in that setting. Now, definitely several of our friends are in the same place we are with all of that, but I would definitely say not the majority.

Could it possibly mean that such structures do not build the best, most lasting relationships? Could it just be that we did a poor job of doing that? Maybe both? Maybe something else? I really don't have the answer.

I know that our friends who just moved to Maryland definitely have some great, close, deep friendships with people whom they met via their "church". And certainly that can happen. I found it completely fascinating that it is not true for us. Most of the Christians we spend time with we met through various other settings and endeavors. So crazy!

There's really no point to this, other than to share that interesting observation, and to just throw that question out there to you. Could this show that good friendships with other believers not only can happen outside of the institutional church structure, but perhaps even be better? (Better doesn't really fit here as relationships are not really quantifiable, as that qualifier would suggest. I just mean, deeper, more lasting, going beyond conversations simply when you're in the same place.)

If you have any thoughts, please do post your comments.

Unique

For some reason I am often reminded that God made me unique. I'm a bit differenter than your average Joe. I mean, first off, my name's not even Joe. So, I'm different already.

But, as I'm sure I've mentioned here before, a friend of mine used to call me the "Curve Wrecker" because I was never what I was "supposed" to be.

And, another proof that I am different is that I'm totally OK with that. :-)

Tonight as I was driving I noticed three boys playing together, hanging out, and I noticed that they all had the same hair. The longish, curly, sort of unkempt hair that all of their other friends have too. It's an epidemic!

But that made me think, why are we so afraid to be unique? What is this compulsion to be like everyone else? I really have never understood it. I just am who I am. Maybe that's different from you, or maybe it's different from all of you... but it's just who I am. Why would I try to change that just so I wouldn't be different?

Talking with Jen about this later we remembered that young kids can be brutal when someone is different. Usually a difference from the group is made fun of right away - and often. Uniqueness is not tolerated. And yeah, that does make sense why you wouldn't want to be different. Who likes to be made fun of?

But I guess that's where love comes in. Where you're loved for who you are. Loved by parents, by God, by siblings, grandparents, even friends. It starts with our adoptive Father, who loves us completely, and shows us what love is... but it's modeled by other people who genuinely love us. Maybe I had that more (from my parents and family) when I was growing up? I definitely know it now, and God continues to show me more and more just how much he really loves me ... and you :-)

So if you're feeling weird tonight, or too different from everyone else... consider that a good thing. There's no one else who is like you. You are one of a kind, and you're that way because God made you that way. I'm pretty sure I can say that. But I am sure that I can say he loves you completely that way. And that's the most important thing... and what makes it OK to be unique.

So enjoy your uniqueness just like I have learned to, you weirdo! :-)

My Treasure

Today I was looking out the window at my kids playing with their cousins, and it was very clear where my treasure is.

I can’t explain it other than an overwhelming sense of love for my kiddos. As I looked at them, I just really loved them, and I knew that there was nothing more important, or that I loved more. I think it may have extended to my nieces as well, but there was a definitely defining in my heart of my “treasure”.

The boys and I recently read the story Jesus told us that says where our treasure is, that’s where our heart will be also. The cool part is that Alex has repeated the story and that line at least a couple times since then. He got it. He understands. His interpretation is to consider the eternal things his “treasure.”

Including all the people he loves and who love him.

Looking out the window today, I got a fun reminder that my treasure (and my heart) is in a good place. :-)

Expectations

That word - "expectations" - certainly has some baggage, doesn't it? I mean, even as I typed it for the title of this post, I thought, "That's not exactly what I'm trying to say..." But I think it is. I do believe there can be good expectations. (And I fully acknowledge that, relationally speaking, there are the bad sort of "expectations".)

But I was reminded again last night that sometimes it's good to "expect" more.

The four oldest kids joined me at a birthday party where we were to have dinner. I'll admit, it was a bit of a challenge to keep everyone in the same place when we first got there, amongst the many other strangers (we only knew the hosts, and had briefly met one or two others). But, the kids were great, and we eventually got some food and found a table to sit down and eat.

I got everyone set up eating their food, then went to go get drinks. They stayed there - they did awesome! - and just enjoyed their food, and I think Ian was chatting with the other people at the table.

After we had been eating for a while, the mom who was at the table said to our kids, "Why are you guys so good???" and then without pausing, said to me, "How do you get the baby to stay there???" Actually, when she said baby, I thought of Emma... but she wasn't there, so that confused me. Then I realized she meant Julia, our two year old. We've actually been working on moving past a few "baby" things with Julia (mostly of her own desire) so I responded (with Julia) saying, "Julia, are you a baby? Or a big girl?" She cheerfully replied, "Big girl!"

What the mom was noticing was that our four kids (with only one parent at that moment) were sitting, happily eating and chatting, while her husband was chasing their two year old boy all over the place. A little more conversation with this mother revealed exactly why there was such a difference between our kids.

She didn't expect anything from them.

Just to clarify, I completely understand that expectations can be laden with guilt and obligation and other unhealthy relational things. But also, I think a lot of parents are frustrated because their expectations of what their kids are capable of are far too low.

Kids are actually quite smart. :-)

Many people comment to me on the way that I speak to children. To ours, and to others. Apparently, I speak to them "like adults". I'm not exactly sure what they mean, but Jen has echoed those same sentiments (when spoken by others). Basically, I think most people talk "down" to kids. But I do not. I can see that they understand a lot more that we give them credit for, and I know they are quite able to choose (many things, at least) and so I give them the opportunity to choose "the right thing" and/or to exhibit some self control.

From that mindset, and with greater "expectations" from the start... our kids are (from my observation, and that of many others) a bit more "well behaved". Not all the time, certainly. They are still just kids, and though they are capable of self-control... do not have life experience enough to be great at exercising it. ;-)

That just comes with practice.

And, expectations of greatness accompanied by encouragement toward those higher expectations.

Failure will happen, and certainly "unmet expectations". But with encouragement along the way, and not only believing in the "best" from our kids, but helping them believe it as well, I think our kids will go far, with confidence gained by encouraging, supportive parents who root on their kids to the greatness they are capable of!

[Note: I had a discussion re: parenting ideas with a friend recently, and there was some misunderstanding as to the intention of the thoughts I shared. Parenting is near and dear to our hearts, and so, uninvited "advice" can come across as condescending. Such is never my intention, nor is it the intention of this post. Just sharing some observations. If you find them helpful, please incorporate them into your parenting philosophy. If not, please happily ignore.] :-)

I'm A People Person

There's no denying it now. I am officially and completely a people person.

This past weekend we kept our friends' three girls while they made a super-packed-full trip to their new home in the Washington, DC area. They dropped them off Thursday morning, and we had them until Sunday night. At first glance that seemed like a pretty long time, but I knew it would go really fast. And it did.

The best part was not the four days of two adults and eight kids though. The best part came on Sunday afternoon.

My sister and her husband and their four kids were on their way to their new home in the Buffalo, NY area, and were planning to stop by and visit. So, now we had twelve kids (ages 9 down to 1 month) and only four adults. But we didn't stop there! Later in the afternoon, our friend Laura and her son came to visit bringing the total up to 5 adults and 13 kids! All in our little yellow house!!!

And I could not have been happier. :-)

I looked around at one point at the four families represented in my living room and just smiled. I couldn't help it. That is what I want my house to be. The place where people hang out. Come, visit, hang, for no reason ... just to be together. It was wunderbar.

Later that night, our friends came back to retrieve their kids and ended up sticking around to sample the good food from the day (cinnamon rolls and chicken wings and skyline chili, etc) and taking in an episode of the Knight Rider. It was a great ending to a fun day and a great weekend.

But then...

On Monday, Jen's parents came over with our nephew to spend a couple fun days with our kids and Jen (while I was here working). They were gone most of yesterday, and are gone again today now doing some fun things around our area. I'm glad for the kids. They are having a blast. But it's really quiet here.

I have officially discovered that I am a "people person". Fellow people people seem to need "down times", but I can't get enough. I miss those little girls we had here for the long weekend. A lot. I certainly miss my family right now. And last night, the two boys spent the night with Grandma, Grandpa & their cousin... and it just wasn't right. The house felt empty, though we still had the three girls here with us.

I am definitely a people person.

[Tangent... Last night when we just had the three girls, I thought to myself, "This seems way too easy!" I felt like it was "parenting-lite". I guess the hardest part of parenting these days is not the feeding and cleaning that we mostly do for the three girls (ages four and down) but the relational and life-training that we are doing with the boys (and probably Kirstie, too). So without that "challenge"... I felt like we had the night off! :-) Tangent over...]

So, I am incredibly grateful to God for the big family he has placed me in, and look forward to it growing if that's what He's got in mind. I'm super blessed to be part of a great extended family, too (my mom & dad, sister & fam, my aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and even all my in-laws).

Guess that's probably why I'm a people person. :-)

Which Way Did They Go?

One of the stranger things from our three days here at the hospital has been watching the migration of the Canadian geese. Thousands - definitely tens of thousands - of these cool birds (that resemble Klingon birds of prey as they descend to the water) have been flying past the big windows in the room where Emma was born.

Oddly enough, though in March geese should be flying north, it sure seemed like they were flying south. We figured they knew what they were doing... so we accepted the direction of their giant goose arrows as north, against our better judgment.

Even more oddly...

This morning when we woke up, the geese were all flying back the other direction! Ha! And, that direction was what I originally thought was north. Sweet vindication! :-)

A nurse (who seemed equally fascinated by them) reminded us that the lake is maybe just a mile south of us, and that was their southerly destination.

It all makes sense now. And it's still incredibly cool! Just watching SO many animals working in concert toward the same goal, same destination. Watching what God has designed into His creation is just a reminder of how beautifully simple and complex it all is. I won't elaborate now, but there have been many reminders through the whole process of the birth of Emma at how simply mind-blowing God's creation is, and how evident it is that he made it, and holds it all together.

Even the Klingon geese. :-)

Pondering

There are a few things that I am currently pondering regarding life with God and his church. I thought I'd just jot them down here, in a sort of short hand way. Perhaps you are pondering them as well and might add to my ponderings, but really I am putting them down here to look back later and see what I was pondering in 2008. :-)

• Worship:
  Do we need to publicly and corporately set God apart from all else, with or without musical aid?
  
• Evangelism:
  Should I have more of an urgent desire to help people know they are loved by their Father?
  
• Praying:
  With other people, I mean. How do I make an ongoing conversation with God easily flow into conversation with other believers - and my family.
  
• Communion:
  It's important to some people. Really important. But to me, just meaningless. Does it matter? How?

The things I am beginning to understand more: (and usually write about here)

• Freedom:
  For me, and giving freedom to others.
  
• Grace:
  For me, and treating other people with grace.
  
• God's love:
  Again, for me, and learning to give that to others.
  
• Reality of God's presence:
  Learning to live with Jesus every day.
  
• Who Jesus is:
  The Word of God, my brother, God in flesh, "watching" him interact with people in the stories of the gospels

When I look at those lists, the first one mostly just seems silly, but to many people - including me for much of my life perhaps? - they are not silly but almost essential. Funny how perspective changes. Who knows the lists might change again after a while. They might be completely different. We'll see.

[Things That Are Weird] Wiper Fluid Containers

Does anyone else wonder why windshield wiper fluid is sold in a container/amount that is only slightly more than fits in your empty windshield wiper fluid dispenser in your vehicle? I have never understood this. And I don't believe I ever will.

I will often just hand a container like this to the nearest person in the parking lot and say, "Have some wiper fluid!" (It is usually received well...) :-)

If it were a lot more, then I would understand. But it's just a little bit too much. Very, very strange.

I think I'll keep this as a recurring theme here at GregsHead.net. Stay tuned for more Things That Are Weird.

Seat Belts

I know this is silly, and probably has already been discussed too much, but the reason for this page was to share (and document?) my random and wandering thoughts. So...

This weekend I was returning from a visit to the grocery store that is less than a mile from our house. I was in a hurry (had to get something for the dinner I was trying to be making at that very moment) so I hadn't fastened my seatbelt, and really wasn't going to. It's such a short trip it kind of feels like just driving in my own driveway!

As I wrestled (very briefly) with whether or not to tether... I realized how insane it is that my state (yea, even my country) tell me that I have to wear it. Really? Should the government be regulating stuff that affects just a person's own life? Does not wearing a seatbelt affect anyone but the wearer? (Or, non-wearer, I suppose...) :-)

If pressed, I do say that I am libertarian (meaning, I don't think the gov't should be telling me what to do with my life) and in this I definitely am. Run campaigns, annoy people to no end, but do not make a LAW that makes them live up to a level of safety that some "larger group" thinks is "necessary" or should be "required". That kind of thinking is truly anti-American - anti-liberty.

OK. Down from the soap box. For now.

Mister(s) President(s)

I almost put a question mark at the end of that title, but used my superhuman will power to resist the temptation. (Really. It was very tough! Not sure why I've been on a question-in-the-title kick of late.) :-)

I was watching NBC's Meet The Press this week (Via podcast, of course. I don't really watch anything live these days...) and the episode was an interview with Senator Ron Paul, who is a Republican candidate for president. I watched a bit with my wife (before she fell asleep) and we both thought he was making some good points, but several things made it hard to really envision him as president, let alone think of actually voting for him.

(Mainly it was his whiny voice! Holy cow!)

I do like Mike Huckabee. When I hear him, he makes some good points. But there are a few financial things I'm not too sure about. I got to hear Mitt Romney. Not sure I like much about him, but he made some decent points. The interview I saw with him he was mostly just fighting off Mormon questions. Hey, I even like John Edwards and some of the things he has to say. (Can't say I'd ever vote for him for president, but he has a few decent ideas.)

All of this just has me frustrated that I have to pick one of these guys (and maybe none of the ones I mentioned!) to be the next (one) president of the United States. I don't think I like any ONE guy enough to vote for him in all good conscience.

That got me thinking...

What if we elected a group of three presidents or something? One from each party, and an independent one. I suppose that's why we have the three branches of government... a similar idea. But I mean... how is one man supposed to represent all the people? Again, perhaps that's the role of the congress... I'm just trying to land on a candidate I like, and the truth is there isn't one. I like a lot of things about a few of them, but don't like some things too.

Glad we still have 11 months to go...

Remote Control = God?

I remember when I was a kid, one of the coolest things in the world was remote control cars. I mean, you could make it go... even though you weren't touching it! How cool is that?!?

Well, last night I noticed that remote control is still one of the coolest things.

I was walking away from our vehicle and needed to lock it as I was going out of sight of it, and all I had to do was press a button on the little key fob and ... voila! It was locked! Like magic!

When I was able to do that, I realized that remote control is a bit like being God. You can manipulate things outside of yourself, like magic. (I know... it's not magic, but... it looks like it is!) Whether it's a toy car, or a boat, or a plane... or a real car that you can lock, unlock, or even start! You say it, or click it, or whatever... and it happens!

And there's so much like that these days! The whole world is going wireless. Cell phones, GPS thingies, satellite radio, key fobs, Wi-Fi computers and other devices... everything is wireless. On our home network, I can log into Jen's computer from my laptop, and send files from there to my computer in the office... without being on either computer! I can even do a "screen sharing" thing where I can use other computers as if I were right in front of it. I can print stuff in the office from any computer... WIRELESSLY.

We have some pretty amazing powers these days... :-)

So, just a little observation. I still believe the next computer interface (probably Mac OS X 10.6) will be a spoken interface. So not only will things be "remote control", but we will speak and it will happen.

And Greg said, "Let there be e-mail" ... and there was e-mail.

Weird. :-)

Routine

It's pretty funny how routine can be a good thing. I usually think (and talk about) how routine = a rut. But today, when my routine (most would not call it a routine...) was modified a bit, I was having trouble getting back on track :-)

So, routine is not always a bad thing. Just thought I'd say that.