Estimated reading time: 3 minute(s)
I have been asking God for peace lately. I just haven’t been feeling it. Stress from changes in life, too much to get done in too little time, various normal stresses in our family and of course, financial stress.
For some time now, I have almost been complaining. “God, why won’t you give me peace?” I go over all of the ways that he could give me peace… a little more money, a little easier work load, kids who behave so their mom is less stressed, slow down the flow of bills to our mailbox… 🙂 There is no shortage of ideas here. And, when none of my ideas seem to be listened to, I complain about that.
Today I woke up and began to think about the week; what bills were due, what money was coming in, prioritizing jobs by which would pay this week. And as I sorted these out in my head, I don’t know if it was God in me or what, but I just thought, “I don’t have peace because I don’t trust.”
It seemed that simple. If I could somehow believe that he really loves me and trust that he IS (not will… he IS) working things out for me… in HIS WAY… I would find that peace.
Think about it. What could cause you stress if you weren’t thinking about yourself anymore? If I didn’t have to make the money to pay my bills, but just trusted that God will bring it in when the time is right – there would be peace. If I didn’t have to try so hard to maintain peace in my relationships, but just allowed Father’s love to flow into and out of me into others, there would be peace. If I could just live for today, instead of being dominated by a calendar of looming events and deadlines – there would be peace.
Is peace something that I can achieve? Or is it a natural by-product of trust? Perhaps once my focus is off of my needs and my life and my problems, then I can know the peace. Peace might be at the end of my resigning control to the One who is actually able to control life. And who loves me more than I probably love myself. He loves me, and he loves my family, and he knows what we need, and for all the years I have known him, he has never – not once – left us in need. Never.
So why do I continually take back the reigns? Why do I shoulder the burden I was not meant to carry? Why do I pass up the peace I so long for?
My eyes are on me, and not him. Maybe I just forget that he wants to. Maybe I can’t believe that he wants to. Maybe I don’t think he should want to. But, he does.
Matt 11:28
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Peace comes from knowing him, and trusting him completely. And complete trust not only brings peace, but freedom as well. When I am no longer the source of my life ? my prosperity be it financial or otherwise ? then I am free to just be his. To do stuff that might not make sense like spend time with someone who needs a friend when I should be getting work done so that I will get paid.
God takes care of us. He promised.
Matt 6:31-34 | Read Context
“So don’t worry about having enough food or drink or clothing. Why be like the pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Hmm… you think? I often assume that i don’t trust God completely, though i trust him partly. I’m not sure that we can trust him completely. If we could, i think you’re right… the bi-product would be a sweet amount of peace and freedom. Dang. maybe that’s a difference between God’s kingdom on Earth and the Kingdom in heaven. Maybe in heaven, we’ll be rid of the quirks and twists of humanity that make us doubt. But, until then,… i’m not sure that we can realistically trust God completely, and i’m certain we can’t of our own volition. So… maybe the question of trust vs. doubt and peace vs. uhm… ‘un-peace’ is more about how they relate to each other. I look at virtually all of my ‘heros’ of the faith, (unisex usage for hero)and they all went from doubt to trust to doubt to trust again. isn’t that the cycle of faith anyway? I’m not thinking that dis-trust is place one should try and stay… but i don’t know that one should necessarily begrudge it… just a thought
either way, you’re one of my heros of the faith… and when you have moments of un-ease,… i find it encouraging in that i can watch you handle it. Peace be with you, sir!